Chapter 22
Chapter
Twenty-Two
SIN
H ave you ever been so hungry your stomach ached? That was me right now. I was starved beyond reason. Desperate to feed. The only place I could safely do that was within the walls of Iniquity .
Lust was thick in the air, potent and all-consuming, but I forced myself to hold off. Lilith was very clear that she didn’t want to share her source, and I wasn’t stupid enough to try and steal a piece of metaphorical bacon off her plate. Besides it being hers to take when she wanted, the rules of this club revolved around consent. The patrons consented to her feeding, they consented to whatever acts they committed, and most importantly, they hadn’t consented to me taking a damn thing from them. If I did, I’d be on my ass in the street so fast I wouldn’t know what had happened.
As if mere thought could summon her, Lilith appeared beside my corner booth. It was dark up here, but there was enough light on the dance floor below that I could still make her out easily enough. She was dressed in a black leather gown, her tits nearly spilling out of the exaggerated W of the neckline. Her dark hair was down tonight in loose curls that reminded me of the starlets I once knew. And, as always, her lips were blood red.
“Famine. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
The words were casually offered, but there was nothing casual about them.
“Oh, you know me, Lil. I’m here for a good time, not a long time.”
Anger flashed in her eyes and her fae prince companion took a seat across from me, the thin gold chain connecting them glittering every time he moved. “Speak to her like that again, and your time will be shorter than you know.”
“You look like absolute shit, Sinclair,” Lilith observed, ignoring her pet.
Taking my cue from her, I did the same. I knocked back the glass of bourbon I’d been nursing. “You think? I’m starving. You failed to mention that the little gift of yours is celibate .” I practically hissed the word like it was something contagious.
Her expression shifted to an exaggerated mockery of innocence. “Oh, did I forget to share that bit of information? Forgive me. I thought, based on your reputation, it wouldn’t be an issue.”
“Well, it is,” I said, very aware of the pout in my words.
Crombie snickered, his muttered, “Amateur,” making me grind my teeth.
“What I’m not understanding is why you’re here, in my club, attempting to feed off my patrons when you could find a willing meal on any street corner in London.”
Why did the thought of seducing a random person off the street make my stomach churn? It was always strangers for me. I never needed a connection to feed. Hell, I didn’t want one.
Instead of attempting to explain any of that, I went with the explanation I hoped would serve me best. “I thought you’d appreciate my discretion. Didn’t want to draw too much attention to my whereabouts lest I accidentally get spotted with you know who .”
Lilith’s eyes flashed as she slid into the spot next to her companion, but I couldn’t tell if it was with amusement or anger. “Is that so?”
I nodded.
“Then I suppose I have no choice but to extend you a very limited pass.”
“Lilypad, surely he should be at home, fulfilling his duty?” Crombie murmured in her ear. “It’s not our responsibility to be his babysitter. He’s a grown horseman.”
Lilith’s eyes dropped down my body, and her lips twitched up in a smirk. “He certainly is.”
Crombie snarled, and I would have sworn I heard thunder.
Lilith giggled and patted his knee. “I was simply agreeing with you, darling. No need to throw a tantrum. And besides, you just proved the point I was about to make. Just because a man is grown doesn’t mean he won’t find himself in need of a little TLC from time to time.”
I wasn’t sure if I should thank her for that one. It seemed like it might have been a thinly veiled insult. “I need my strength if I’m going to be at my best for her.” That much was true. I didn’t want them to know we’d already almost let her get taken by the Knights of Pride. Something told me Lilith would be a lot less accommodating if she found that out.
You’re assuming she doesn’t already know.
A little shiver shot down my spine at the thought. Lilith seemed to know everything, but since she hadn’t brought it up, I sure as shit wasn’t going to. I was afraid of very little—godlike being that I was—but this creature in front of me held one of those places, right next to facing my true death.
She met and held my stare, and while her lips were still curled in a playful smile, her voice was pure ice. “I’ll let you feed from one of my girls. You can have your choice, but”—she held up a slender finger, the pointed tip of her nail stained black—“there’s an expiration date on my generosity. Every second you are here is one less opportunity for you to accomplish our shared goal. I didn’t work this hard for everything to all come crumbling down around me. Figure your shit out, Sinclair. Do what you were made for.”
It took every ounce of bravado I possessed not to shrink into my seat as my fucking balls threatened to shrivel up under her glare.
“If it were up to me, she’d already be in the family way, Lil.”
Her lip curled up in distaste at my use of her shortened name, and I swallowed, speaking quickly to distract her from my faux pas. “She’s not interested in fucking any of us. I don’t take what’s not freely offered.”
“Have you never heard of seduction?” Crombie crooned.
This motherfucker.
I glared at him.
“Of course I have,” I snapped.
“Well, you can’t be very good at it.” He trailed his knuckles down Lilith’s arm. “If you were, your little problem would already be solved.”
“I’m the fucking king of seduction, you wingless firefly.”
Lilith had to tug on the chain connecting Crombie to her to stop him from going for my throat at my insult.
Undeterred, I continued. “She wants love. She needs it.” That was my takeaway from our little heart-to-heart the other night. It didn’t seem pertinent to mention that she was also terrified she was going to kill anyone lucky enough to bury themselves inside her. That problem would be easily solved, the other matter...not so much.
“And?” Lilith prompted.
“That’s not something any of us are capable of giving her.”
One dark, perfectly shaped eyebrow lifted as she assessed me. “Aren’t you?”
“What the hell do we know about love? We exist purely to raise chaos and destruction. We’re the walking antithesis of love. I mean, come on, Grimsby can’t even fucking touch her.”
“Hmmm,” she mused, but didn’t elaborate. For some reason, that only made the urge to squirm in my seat stronger.
“Just let me feed and I’ll get out of your hair, okay?”
Again with that twist of discomfort in my gut. I knew what I wanted, but Merri had to be willing and ready to be with me. Even if we were only feeding. With her camming situation off the table, that meant I couldn’t participate any longer. We’d been explosive even though we weren’t in the same room. I’d left our chat completely sated. Satisfied. Fulfilled. Without the ability to engage with her in that way, I needed to supplement. I didn’t have to enjoy it, though.
Plenty of creatures fed themselves without particularly enjoying their meal. This would be like that. A dry, tasteless sandwich instead of a mouthwatering feast.
“Are you certain?” Lilith asked.
I nodded.
She slid out of the booth and rose to her full height, Crombie following immediately after. Her blue eyes sparkled as she leaned down and whispered, “As you wish, darling.”