CHAPTER 27
Nick
“I disappointed you.”
“No, Jannie.” Nick pressed a kiss to Jannie’s forehead. “You could never disappoint me.”
Lying in his arms with her head on his shoulder and her leg draped over his thighs, she tried to get closer, even though it was physically impossible.
Nick’s gut churned. Tomorrow, she would have to leave since she was scheduled to work on Monday, and everything inside him rejected it with all he had. His gut also churned for another reason: her visit to his club, which ended up freaking her out.
Bad idea, Kent. Bad.
All the way home, she remained silent, wordlessly staring out the window. Unable to think of anything to say, at one point, he took her hand. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t respond with her usual warmth.
That hadn’t been the case when, after feeding Rolf and taking him out for the night, she gently shooed him out of the bedroom where he had followed her.
She closed the door behind the sad-faced dog, then turned to Nick, took him by the hand, and led him straight to the shower.
There, she quickly undressed him and herself, then guided him into the stall, making him sit on the built-in bench as she worked shampoo into his hair, drawing a groan from him at the feel of her fingertips massaging his scalp.
After thoroughly scrubbing his body, she nudged him under the spray, running her hands over his shoulders, back, and ass, helping clear the remaining soap. All the while, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she wanted to wash the evening and the club off him.
There was one part she didn’t wash. Passing him the soap, she nodded toward his groin, and he obliged her, lathering himself, his gaze flicking from his hardening length to her face, watching her watch him touch himself.
And when he was done, she handed him the shampoo, and he returned the favor, except he had her turn around and washed her there, too, his fingertips slick with soap, languidly stroking back and forth.
Under the spray, her palms pressed against the tile, she had a gentle, rolling orgasm that had her moaning softly, the sound echoing off the walls.
Later, in bed, she straddled him, taking his hands to place them on her breasts, her freshly washed silken hair grazing his chest as she bent to kiss him tenderly while she rode him, slowly, slowly.
She kept him on the edge for a long, long time, her gaze piercing him with a trace of sadness that made his throat go tight with the feeling that this was her goodbye.
He hoped to hell she didn’t intend it to be forever. Hoped that the side of him he had revealed tonight hadn’t completely put her off.
“What are you thinking?” he dared to ask.
She traced his pecs with a fingertip. “That I let you down.”
“You? Let me down?”
“Yes.”
He shook his head. “Impossible.” He was silent for a beat. “Tell me how you felt tonight.”
She stayed quiet for so long that he thought she wouldn’t respond. He wanted to kick himself for putting her through all that on their last night together.
“I … don’t know.” She swallowed. “Honestly. I don’t know how to put it into words.”
He nodded. “Maybe I should have started with something less intense.”
“Started?”
“Or maybe I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have taken you there at all.”
“Don’t say that.”
“That’s what I’m thinking.”
She smoothed a hand over his abdomen. “What does … that stuff… do for you?”
That stuff? She couldn’t even call it what it was.
He paused to consider carefully. Really think.
What had the lifestyle given him? He tried to find the words to explain but realized he couldn’t because his entire dive into it had been an exploration—a years-long search that had led to disappointment after disappointment, and then a dead end.
But what he’d learned along the way had opened possibilities that, with the right partner, could prove extraordinary.
And he couldn’t deny that was what he wanted. Deep down, he had hoped he could eventually share it with her.
“Don’t answer that,” she finally said. “I think I know.”
“Do you?”
She nodded slowly. “What I saw on that stage tonight …” She paused, her face taking on an intense expression, one that made his heart instantly beat faster. “It was …”
He watched her struggle to find the right words, hoping to hell they wouldn’t be the wrong ones.
“It scared me.”
Shit. Wrong words.
He managed to keep his face neutral, hiding his deep disappointment. “What scared you?” he asked, even though he really didn’t want to know. “The cutting? The fact that they were doing it onstage? The vibrating chairs?”
He had initially rejected those when he’d seen them on the plans, thinking they were in poor taste, but the other guys convinced him they’d be a unique feature that would generate word of mouth. They weren’t wrong. And people seemed to love them.
“Maybe all of that, maybe none of that,” she said.
Well, that didn’t say anything.
“I need some time to process it all.”
He only hoped she wouldn’t handle it the same way as before, shutting everyone out while she processed alone.
“Does that mean we’re still good?” he asked hopefully.
“That means—” she pinched his nipple hard, making him jump “—that I expect you to come visit me in Florida.”
He released a long, quiet sigh. “Beautiful girl,” he said, “I’ll be there as often as I can.”
“Good. Because I’ve become addicted …” she reached to grasp him then “… to this.”
Addicted to his dick. Not him.
Pushing away his disappointment, Nick closed his eyes as she stroked faster. Whatever part of him she was addicted to, he’d give it to her without hesitation.
As long as he could have a part of her.
·
Jannie
“And when did this start?”
iPad in hand, Jannie regarded her last patient of the day, who thankfully was her best friend. Today had been particularly taxing, in part because of the migraine she hadn’t been able to get rid of, despite taking three Advil with a cup of coffee.
Damn birth control pills.
Her mood had been affected too, to the point that she sensed a few dismayed glances from her staff.
One of them even jokingly asked if she needed a chill pill.
The worst part was that these side effects weren’t even worth it because she hadn’t seen Nick in five whole weeks.
FaceTime was nice, but it couldn’t compare to being wrapped in his strong arms. And kissed. And—
“Hello?” Sarah waved, then snapped her fingers. “Are you in Sin City again?”
Jannie gave her a sheepish smile. “I think I never left.”
“He hasn’t called you?”
“Oh, he has. He calls, he texts, he sends me flowers.” Jannie reached to caress a pale pink beauty from Nick’s latest delivered arrangement. He had sent a different bouquet every week, from some grower in Henderson named Dave, who grew the most unique and fragrant roses.
She would have preferred Nick. But his company had some new business dealings in Hong Kong, one of their pilots had quit to go to Delta (of course!), and Nick had been stuck flying the leadership team to Asia.
Though he had been pleasant during their chats and video calls, she could see and hear his stress every time they connected, which wasn’t nearly as often as she wanted.
And the damned devil on her shoulder whispered that he might just go to Sin City Dark, just to disconnect. Maybe to participate in … something.
He wouldn’t … would he?
He had no obligation to be faithful to her. They hadn’t discussed exclusivity. They hadn’t even discussed their relationship, and now she regretted not having done that in person before she’d left, because to bring it up over a device felt awkward. What if he needed to get off and—
“Jannie?”
“Oh! Sorry.”
“It’s OK.” A pause. “I’m worried about you, babe.”
Jannie tensed. “Don’t be. I’m fine.”
Sarah tilted her head. “Are you?”
“I’m not the one needing a doctor. Now, tell me what’s going on.”
“Maybe you do need a doctor. A different kind. Have you thought about talking to someone?”
“You mean therapy?” She hadn’t meant to sound put off.
She knew Sarah saw her psychiatrist every week, rain or shine, no matter what was going on in her life.
Jannie wouldn’t think to judge; everyone had their way of coping, but that wasn’t her, and it would never be.
She could handle her problems on her own, thank you very much.
“Hey, don’t knock it.” Sarah reached into her bag, a gorgeous Bottega Veneta Cabat, and pulled out a card. “Here. Take this. When it gets bad enough, you’ll thank me.”
“I think I’d rather have your bag,” Jannie muttered. She took the card, not wanting to offend her friend.
Sarah hugged the beautiful gold-flecked woven creation. “She stays with me. I stalked eBay and Rebag for a year to find her.”
“I’m not surprised.” Jannie was glad for the change of subject. “It’s a rare color. Looks brand-new, too. You did good.”
“I know, right? I got her at a good price, too.” Sarah leaned forward, her expression turning serious. “OK, about the pain. It starts right here and wraps around my back.”
“How would you describe it? Dull, sharp?”
A pause. “It’s achy.”
Jannie turned her attention to assessing her friend’s condition. Part of her was grateful for the distraction. The other part wanted to just go home to her dog.
And stay there.
Every day at the clinic was a chore, and it was only getting worse with every passing week. She thought about those blissful times with Nick. The flying, the camaraderie … the sex.
God, the sex …
More than anything else, she missed the feeling of contentment and peace she’d had when he was near. Paradoxical, because the man was fire, and somehow managed to excite her just by walking into a room.
“Jannie? Are you listening?”
Her gaze quickly shifted to Sarah’s face, now showing a hint of annoyance.
Crap.
Her distraction bordered on unprofessional. “Sorry about that.”
“Babe, if you love him, go get him,” her friend said with conviction. “Before someone else beats you to it.”
Jannie blinked. Did she love Nick Kent? After only spending a month with him? It was too soon to say, but she did care for him.
And she missed him something fierce. She also missed flying, which wasn’t something she could say for her work here.
In Vegas, she hadn’t given it a second thought, except to dread coming back.
Maybe she could fly to Vegas one weekend.
Yeah, that’s what she would do. She needed to see Nick.
Except she didn’t know when she could catch him in town because lately, he was hardly ever there.
She forced herself to refocus on Sarah, relieved when she finished the exam, documented her diagnosis, and sent her home with a script.
The sun was long past setting when she finished her endless paperwork and could finally go home. Jannie stepped into the humid night air, fishing in her bag for her key. She frowned. Where had she put it? It wasn’t in its designated pocket. She was uncharacteristically scatterbrained these days.
She finally found the orange fob and clicked.
Her Panamera chirped, its long taillight illuminating red in the distinctive sequence she loved, starting from the center and moving outward.
Jannie smiled. It was the little things these days that made her happy, and she did love her car.
She loved it even more when she sank into the tan leather seat, belted herself in, and turned the key on the dash.
Just as the Porsche roared to life with a satisfying growl, she heard the distinctive tone she had assigned Nick, the TAWS of a Boeing 767.
“Whoop whoop, pull up! Whoop whoop, pull up!”
Her heart skipping a beat, Jannie snatched her phone out of her bag, snickering. Pull up, indeed. How she would love to pull something up on him right about now.
“Hello, beautiful girl.”
His smooth voice washed over her, and it was everything she needed. Her body relaxed and tensed at the same time. “Hello.”
“Where have I caught you?”
“Just getting out of work.”
A pause. “It’s after 7:30.”
“I know.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” she replied automatically.
A pause. “How are you really feeling?”
She should have known he wouldn’t let her get away with platitudes. “You want the short version or the long version?”
“Whichever one you need to give me.”
How could she put a positive spin on her current misery? “Short version: I miss Vegas, flying, and you.”
A pause. “In that order?”
“Not necessarily.”
“Ah.” She could hear the smile in his voice, but something seemed off.
“I thought I’d catch a flight to Vegas,” she said.
Another pause, this one longer.
Had he moved on? Gone back to his old life? What?
“Vegas would get an instant upgrade,” he finally said. “I’m sure your brothers and their wives would be happy to see you.”
Her heart sank. “And you?”
He sighed. “I’m in Singapore.”
“Singapore?” She couldn’t conceal her dismay.
“The owners of my company have been negotiating with a large conglomerate for some time now. I was hoping the deal would fall apart, which is why I didn’t say anything, but …” A tense pause. “I’m afraid my news isn’t the best. They sold the company last week.”
Her stomach dropped. “And?”
“The new headquarters are here. All my flights will now be between Singapore, Hong Kong, and Tokyo, and they fired three pilots.”
She swallowed hard. “So that means …”
“Yeah.” His voice was grim. “I have to move here.”
“When can you come and see me?”
“I don’t know.”