CHAPTER 18 #2
Ian swam faster, breathing every fifth stroke.
He had accompanied Claire on this trip, expecting great sex, yes.
As always, she hadn’t disappointed. But spending an entire weekend with someone inevitably uncovered things about them, and although most of what she’d revealed about her personality delighted him, one thing he had realized about her disturbed him.
He knew that attending weddings could pull emotional strings and bring out things usually buried deep in the part of the brain that desires companionship for life.
His parents had drilled it into him since he was old enough to comprehend: marry, make babies, and be happy in a family with love and security.
Had they set the bar too high? Look what had happened with Tina. He had been so sure about her but couldn’t have been more wrong. Then again, Adam had found his soulmate in Eve, so Ian guessed marital bliss wasn’t impossible.
He reached the end and executed a swift flip turn.
What had become crystal clear was that someone or something had broken Claire enough not only to make her reluctant to enter a relationship but also to render her downright commitment-phobic.
That had been unmistakable fear he’d glimpsed in her eyes when he had mentioned needing to find the right woman.
And when he sang to her, instead of a positive response, he’d felt her body tense, even as she effortlessly followed his lead around the dance floor, though he’d done his damnedest to make some intricate moves to distract her.
And then there were the tears in her eyes.
She’d tried to hide them, but he had seen them.
He switched to the butterfly mid-lap, aggressively taking on the water with all his pent-up frustration.
The realization had hit him like a slap to the face: Claire didn’t want him. Not the way he realized he needed to be wanted.
As he saw it, he had two choices: stay and fight or give up and go home. Neither of those appealed to him.
He wished like hell for a third choice.
He slapped his hands on the tile and stopped, tossing his head and sending water droplets everywhere.
Yesterday, during the ceremony, he’d slanted a few glances at Claire.
Her jaw was set, her face a mask. Even so, he couldn’t help picturing her on that altar, a vision in white, looking up at him adoringly as she took his hands and pledged her life to him.
That he had gone there had shaken him to the core. After Tina, he’d first been enraged, then bitter, and finally, indifferent. Women had existed in his life for one thing, and one thing only.
But all it had taken was one look at Claire and …
He exhaled a frustrated breath. He’d wanted to fuck her as soon as he’d laid eyes on her, but by the night’s end, that changed, though he hadn’t wanted to admit it. Hell, he couldn’t even think of being with her as fucking without the word seeming all wrong, and that alone spoke volumes.
He had accepted her weekend invitation to this place to see how things could be with her, needing some answers about how she felt and whether he should continue this. Instead, he’d come out more confused than ever.
And then there was that Jake guy calling and texting.
Ian had tried to question her about him in a roundabout way, but she was too bright and realized what he was doing, so she’d immediately shut that down.
It was the same with his question about alcohol.
The woman refused to open up except in one way.
Fuck.
He turned and pushed off on his back, squinting at the sky, now streaked with more blue than pink.
He rotated his arms and kicked hard, smoothly rolling through the water.
He didn’t want to go back to Fargo. He’d retreated there from Vegas to wallow way too long, and he was done with that.
But going back to Orlando and waiting by the goddamn phone for Claire to summon him for a fuck no longer had appeal.
Jesus, he hadn’t counted on becoming even more messed up than he already was.
He looked up and spotted the slash of a contrail, growing longer and longer as an unseen plane streaked across the sky.
As always, he squinted at the white line and wondered where those passengers were going and for what purpose.
Sometimes, he envied his brother for his freedom in what he did for a living, jetting from place to place.
Yeah, Adam worked himself ragged, but he wasn’t stuck in an office, chained to a desk and buried in endless legal papers.
His brother.
Adam had repeatedly asked him to fly right seat for him, and judging by his latest emails, he was more strapped for pilots than ever. And suddenly, the solution seemed obvious.
Adrenaline rushed through Ian’s body. Why hadn’t he thought of this before?
He made his way to the steps and climbed out of the pool, water streaming off his body, then strode to his lounge chair to briskly towel off. Finding his phone under his T-shirt, he picked it up and quickly thumbed to Adam’s contact.
As usual, it only rang once.
“Larssen.”
“Hey.”
“You never call me from this number.”
“Yeah. My personal phone took a bath. I haven’t replaced it yet.”
He’d dropped it in a public toilet. No way was he going to reach in there to retrieve it.
“No wonder you’re not answering texts. What’s up? I thought you were in paradise banging your new conquest.”
“Funny.”
The line went silent for a few seconds. “What do you need, Buck?”
Ian smiled a little at the affectionate childhood nickname. “Is the FO job still open?”
“Wide open. Why? You interested?”
Ian threw the towel into the dirty laundry bin as he passed it. “I might be. When would you need me?”
“Yesterday.”
“OK.” He couldn’t keep the amusement out of his voice at his brother’s uncharacteristic enthusiasm. He sounded like he used to on Christmas Eve when they were little kids.
“All right, then pay me for yesterday too.”
Adam laughed. “Well, I just might. This will help get me out of all kinds of shit. Where exactly are you right now?”
“Still in Nassau. Our flight doesn’t leave until this afternoon.
” Ian wasn’t looking forward to having to check out and wait around for hours until it was time to go to the airport.
And he was dreading things becoming awkward with Claire, especially when he told her what he’d decided.
He didn’t even know what to say except to tell her he was leaving.
He’d always thought the explanation of needing some space was lame, yet here he was.
He grimaced.
“You still there?” Adam asked.
“Yeah.”
“Listen, I’m going to try rearranging some things, and I’ll get back to you, OK? I might be able to swing by and pick you up.”
Ian’s brow furrowed. “It’s not only me you’d need to pick up.”
“I am aware of that. We can drop her off in Kissimmee, refuel, and fly on to Vegas.”
“Sounds good.”
“You OK with staying at the penthouse?”
Ian hesitated. That bedroom.
“Or you can stay with us for as long as you need,” Adam added quickly. “Whatever you want. Just let us know.”
“Whatever I want? How about you let me drive that S63 as a company car?”
Adam snorted. “You are hilarious, you know that?”
Ian chuckled. “Mom always said it never hurts to ask.”
“She also said the worst they can say is no. So, no.”
Ian laughed.
“I’m pretty sure I can come get you,” Adam said. “I’ll text you the details.”
“All right.”
“And Ian?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks, man.”
“Yup.”
Ian ended the call, thinking it was he who should be thanking Adam.