CHAPTER 28
Claire
“Talk.” She didn’t want to talk. “What about?”
“We can start with what was bothering you so much that you were crying over my eclairs. And don’t tell me you were horrified by all the calories.”
“Aren’t you going to have one?”
His thumb gently stroked the underside of her wrist. “Don’t change the subject.”
She shuddered even though he’d barely touched her. “I don’t want to go there right now, Ian.”
He let go of her wrist and sighed. “We’re long overdue for a discussion, Penny. We both know that.”
A deep conversation was the last thing she wanted. She wanted him to take her to bed and make everything better, the way he always did. She looked up at him, trying to communicate it with her eyes, but he was staring across the room and out the window at the darkening afternoon sky.
She dared to touch his leg again, and this time, he didn’t stop her. The leather of his pants felt smooth as she’d known it would, with the bonus of warmth from the heat of his body.
She squeezed his thigh. “Look at me.”
He still stared straight ahead, almost imperceptibly shaking his head as if struggling with some internal dilemma. “You know what happens when I look at you.”
She couldn’t hold back a little smile. “And why is that so bad?”
“Because.” His quad tensed under her palm. “I take one look at you, and I’m a goner. From the first time I saw you in that bar downstairs. I can’t—” He swallowed hard. “Remember what I told you? We had just met.”
She nodded. “You said I was your kryptonite.”
“Yeah. I said it jokingly because I was so attracted. That never happened to me before.” He shook his head. “I had no idea it was a prophecy.”
What was he saying? She looked at him in question, and though he only viewed her from his peripheral vision, she knew he still could read her.
“I’m saying”—he swallowed hard— “that I think I made a mistake when I told you to use me for sex.”
Her throat constricted. She’d never heard him sound like that before, as if the words were painful to get out.
Something coiled within her, so strong that she shook with it. “You don’t mean that.”
Slowly, he turned his head. The usual veil of self-assured seductiveness in his blue eyes was absent, revealing so much raw emotion that a lump rose in her throat.
He turned his gaze to stare pensively out the window again. “Do you know why I left Orlando, Penny?”
“No.” It came out sounding breathy.
“Did you even ask yourself?”
She hadn’t wanted to face it, so she’d shoved it to the back of her mind, refusing to dwell on him or his reasons, thinking his leaving was for the best. “You said you needed to help your brother.”
His beautiful mouth curved in a wan smile. “And you believed that.”
Not really.
“I didn’t know what to believe. We were having fun in the Bahamas riding Jet Skis and … and the mirror …”
His jaw tensed.
“… and then something changed. You were different. Next thing I knew, you were leaving.”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah.”
Claire waited for a beat, but he did not explain. She shifted, pressing her knees against his thigh, and reached up to place her hand on his cheek to turn his face to hers.
His chest rose and fell in a heavy breath as if he had to brace himself before he looked at her again.
At last, he let her see his eyes. So very blue, full of emotions as deep as the ocean.
She stroked his cheekbone gently with her thumb. “Why did you leave Orlando, Ian?”
“I needed an escape.”
“From what?”
A pause. “From wanting all of you.”
Oh, Ian. Part of her felt elated that he should want her so much. Another part of her felt undeserving and ashamed.
For a few moments, she didn’t dare speak or move. Such a tenuous connection between them, a gossamer thread so fine that she feared she’d break it if she so much as breathed.
“I missed you,” she whispered. She cradled his face between her palms, her heart hammering wildly as he allowed her to draw him closer, closer, until his lips were just a breath away. “Ian…”
Heart squeezing, she closed the space, gently brushing her lips to his in invitation. She felt the rush of his exhale, his muscles corded with tension as if a battle raged within him, but she sensed that he was close to giving up the fight.
“Kiss me,” she whispered, “please.”
She waited, but he didn’t make a move.
“Are you still seeing that doctor guy?” His voice was rough.
She shook her head. “No. No, I’m not.”
He pulled back and studied her intently.
He leaned in. His lips parted over hers. And then, he opened wider, his tongue plunging into her mouth to claim it with a hunger that robbed her of breath. She pressed her hands to his face again, keeping him in place, and when he made a move to break the kiss, she held him fast and kept it going.
Her mind began that slow, dizzying spin that always happened when he took her mouth this way.
It was complete possession, and she moaned softly into his mouth.
That triggered something. Whether his groan was one of arousal or surrender, she didn’t know.
All she knew was that she had to have him back.
When she finally broke the kiss, her eyes were stinging.
Her hands moved to his shoulders, down his arms, and lower.
Gently but firmly, he captured them. “I’m not a masochist, Penny. And I’m not one to beg. I’m going to ask you the same question I asked on our first night. Are you ready to take more of me?”
Her heart responded before she could form the word. She nodded.
He grasped her chin to lift it. “Because if you’re still not ready, there’s nothing more for us to discuss. Or do.”
“I have something to ask you first.”
“OK.”
She tried to find a way to phrase it.
One brow rose. He waited.
“Angie,” she blurted.
“Angie?” He blinked, and then a hint of amusement glinted in his eyes. “What about her?”
Have you been fucking her? Or any other woman?
She looked away, unable to bring herself to pose the question.
“No.”
Her gaze snapped to his. “No, what?”
His lips twitched. “You are so easy to read, Claire. You’re asking if I fucked her.”
She nodded.
“The answer is yes.”
Something inside her plummeted.
“Two years ago. She made herself available, and I didn’t say no.” He paused to look her in the eye. “This time, I did say no. To her and anyone else who propositioned me.”
“Anyone else?”
“Everyone else.”
Her shoulders sagged, and she felt such intense relief that she roped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest, drawing in his essence.
“You’ve ruined me, Penny. The only thing I’ve been fucking for the last three months is my fist.”
He sounded so disgusted and dismayed that she burst out laughing.
He smiled against her hair. “You think that’s funny?”
She tried to stifle her laughter but snorted.
“Did you just snort?”
She nodded and let her hands drift up to thread into his hair. It felt as good as she remembered, and she felt her face split into a wide smile. No one had touched him. He was still—
Mine.
Her eyes widened at that thought. She’d never thought of him as belonging to her, but now that she’d crossed that self-imposed line, she admitted that the idea of him with someone—of another woman, even touching him, made her physically ill.
“You still haven’t answered my question,” he said.
“What question?”
“Are you ready to take more of me?”
She nodded slowly, burying her face in the crook of his neck.
No one touches any part of him but me.
“Say it.”
“Yes.” She felt his chest expand. He stroked her hair.
They stayed like that for a few heartbeats.
Claire kissed his neck. “But I need something from you.”
“What?”
“You have to take it slow and let me get used to the idea.”
He ran his hands over her back. “A slow burn, huh?”
“That’s one way to put it.”
“That I can do.”
“Good.” She nipped his neck. “Now, show me what else you can do.”
·
Wrapped in Ian’s arms, Claire pressed languid kisses to his chest, tasting salt on his warm skin.
She’d lost count of the times he’d made her come apart under his mouth and hands and body. She’d been to bed with him so many times yet hadn’t thought it possible to experience more. More intensity, more erotic coaxing, more mind-blowing orgasms. More passion, and this time, far more tenderness.
Then again, nothing was impossible with Ian. He always found a way to surpass himself.
He nuzzled her hair. “What are you thinking?”
She smiled. “You tell me.”
“Let’s see… You’re wondering how this thing we have between us could be even better than it was.”
“How…?” She lifted her head to stare at him and found him grinning, that wicked grin that set off the devastating dimple at the corner of his mouth.
“I’m wondering the same thing. Maybe it’s because we’ve had some practice sessions.” He fingered the side of his neck. “I’m covered in bites, woman. I have to go to work in a couple of days. People will see, and trust me, they will talk.”
Good. Let Angie see them. Ha.
Tracing lazy circles over the contours of his muscled abs, she encountered the long, thin scar she’d seen so many times. She ran her fingertip over it. “Who did this to you?”
“A doctor. Appendix surgery when I was a kid.”
“How old were you?”
“Twelve. I was at camp. I started to get nauseous, and the counselors thought it was food poisoning. By the time they figured out what was wrong with me, my appendix had ruptured.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah. I’d never experienced such pain and haven’t ever since. But I got to ride in the ambulance with the sirens blaring, which was cool. The coolest part was when my dad burst through the double doors as they wheeled me to the OR. Just knowing he was there made me feel a lot less scared.”
His dad. Claire’s mind immediately went to thoughts of her own father and all the years he had been absent from her life. Only to come back now and turn her life upside down.
“Your turn.”
“My turn?”
“Yeah. Your turn to show me your scar.”
“I don’t have any.”
“Everyone has scars, Penny. Not all of them are visible.”
When she said nothing, he quietly added, “Sometimes the scars we carry on the inside can be removed.”
He pressed a soft kiss to her temple. “But only if you open up.”