16. Hate and Love
16
Hate and Love
T hey were seated at the dining table. Banana pancakes, waffles, forest fruits, maple syrup, bacon, and tea lay before them. Ryu sat next to her, his hand resting on Roselin’s upper leg. It almost felt… domestic, and she hadn’t decided what to think of it.
From the corner of his eye, he watched her. He put down his fork on his plate. “Who are you, Rose?” he asked. She raised her brow at him, and he smirked. “Just want to know who you are.”
“I thought we didn’t need to get acquainted.”She stuffed another strawberry into her mouth. Ryu’s jaw twitched, almost unnoticeable, but she did. “There’s not much to know. I paint and throw drinks on people I don’t like,” she said, and Ryu laughed at the memory. “And I’m not always handling my emotions very well.”
He shook his head, a smile on his lips before his expression pulled together in seriousness. “What about your mum?” he asked.
Roselin froze in her seat. She told him a bit before, but had no intention of sharing more. “What do you mean?”
He observed her, and she cursed herself. Ryu must read her like an open book. “You once asked me where I was when your mum—” His eyebrows furrowed as she held her breath. “Was killed?” He brushed a strand of her hair out of her face. “Do you still need help with that?”
She shook her head. “No. Not anymore.” She gave him a faint smile as she clenched her hands together under the table. Biting her tongue, she fought back the sudden anger and tears. “It wasn’t fair.” She met his eyes. “I should’ve died. He came for me.”
His fingers wrapped around her chin. “Don’t say that. You won’t die anytime soon.”
“But he was my ex,” she breathed. A sour taste filled her mouth. “The police did nothing. He stalked me for months and threatened me…”
Ryu wrapped his arms around her as a safety blanket and kissed her head. “I’m sorry, Rose. You don’t have to tell me more.”
They sat against each other for a while, giving her heart a break before Ryu spoke again. “I have to leave for a moment this afternoon.”
She looked up at him. “I would like to go to the midday class I have.”
Ryu’s lips formed a thin line. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”
“I’ll be around other people. No one will attack me. Why would they? I’m not a threat.”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm?” She put on her puppy eyes, and he kissed her lips. His tongue slid into her mouth, making her clench her legs together. She leaned into the kiss before he pulled back. “Is that a yes?”
“Fine, but the Richters will shadow you,” Ryu said. She rolled her eyes, and he seized her chin again. “Don’t roll your eyes at me.”
She smirked at him. “Yes, Mister Botan.”
A few hours later, she stood at the tram stop. The Driver offered to take her, but she wanted to ride the tram to clear her mind.
A flock of people joined her as she stepped in. She navigated through the tram, but all the compartments were full. Great, she had to stand. Was the Driver’s offer still on the table?
Her eyes scanned along the passengers, searching for the brothers’ Richters, but she didn’t seem to find them, which explained why it was called shadowing. She wasn’t even sure if they're in the tram with her or followed from outside. Crap, she hated this. Her mind kept flashing back to the blood on the floor.
Her ears rang as her heartbeat quickened. A dizzy spell hit her, and she felt small among the crowd. The tram stopped. She dashed out of the tram with the flock of people. Once out, she inhaled a gulp of fresh air. Before she had the chance to go back in, the doors closed. Fine! She was going to skip.
She looked around her. The Rome inspired architecture of the city centre surrounded her. The art shop wasn’t that far out, and planning out a painting would keep her mind off things. It was a perfect day to shop, and more people decided the same.
The trees lining up sheltered her from the sun, and the walk with fresh air helped against her racing thoughts. Roselin stepped into the art shop. Her muscles immediately relaxed, a sigh leaving her lips.
Her eyes glided over the array of beautiful paint colours, and she had to stop herself from buying them all. Instead, she took some blue ones, a new canvas… and maybe these pretty black sparkling brushes. She still had the money Ryu gave her for the painting. She could treat herself after all that had happened.
Shit. She grabbed her phone. She should’ve told the Richters she didn’t go to school. But if they were decent at their job, they would’ve followed her out of the tram, right?
The ground trembled, causing everything to shake violently. The phone dropped out of her hand. Roselin’s heart skipped a beat, and she wasn’t sure how much more it could take. A faraway sound she couldn’t place made her look up. The woman behind the counter and Roselin shared a glance, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary except for some stuff fallen out of their display.
She shook off the strange moment and picked up her phone. Scrolling through the numbers Ryu verified, she noticed the no-connection icon at the top. With a frown adorning her face, Roselin walked over to the counter.
The woman smiled at her kindly while Roselin rummaged through the purse, searching for her wallet. The woman held up her hand. “Oh no, that’s not needed. Mister Botan will settle the bill.”
Roselin blinked at the woman and the art supplies. “No, it’s okay. I can pay.”
The woman waved her words away. “Mister Botan was very clear.”
Should she put some back or insist on paying herself? But before she could respond, the woman packed a bag and handed it to her. Guess Ryu was paying.
The bell above the store’s door clinked. A girl with tears staining her face ran in holding her child, her eyes wide and her hands shaking. “They’re dead.”
Roselin tilted her head. The child was definitely alive.
The register woman furrowed her brows in confusion. “Who’s dead?”
“It exploded,” the girl said, and the child began to cry. “The tram… it—”
The blood drained from Roselin’s face. The girl was kidding, right? Or talking about a TV show?
A man rushed in. “It’s not safe out there.”
With trembling hands, the woman grabbed her laptop and turned on the news. At the same time, Roselin took out her phone, but she still didn’t have reception. “Fuck,” she whispered under her breath. A news item popped up on the laptop. The newsreader on the screen spoke. Multiple dead and wounded by exploding tram. Her heart seemed to stop. Her ears rang. It was the tram she was meant to be on.
They stood there in silence, watching the news, but Roselin couldn’t. She stared out of the window; the chaos dying down as the streets became quieter, except for first responders.
Grabbing the bag, she ran out of the store. The man called out after her. “It’s not safe out on the street.” Even so, Roselin sprinted as fast as she could.
Sirens came and went in the opposite direction. People watched out of their windows, afraid. Roselin stood at the crossroad, unsure which road to take. Her muscles cramped up—she should really exercise more. She ran in one way, only to run back and choose another. Shit, which direction led to the Dutch district? Her eyes darted around, trying to find a landmark to show her where to go. Where did Ryu live? She halted, squatting on the ground with her fingers buried in her hair. Her lungs ached, and her heart pounded in her throat.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” A doorman grabbed her arm, startling her back onto her feet. “You should go inside. The streets aren’t cleared yet.” He pulled on her.
“No, I can’t. I need to find Ryu,” she stuttered. Another siren passed them. Her fingers raked through her hair. She needed to let Ryu know she was alright. Yet, she allowed someone to drag her indoors. People looked at each other, scared. Nothing happened in the city. At least nothing where citizens could see, but like Ryu said, a lot happened below the surface.
She stood in the corner, trapped. Time ticked by so slowly.
Why was it so hard to breathe? Why was the room spinning?
“Ma’am?”
Someone handed her a cup as another seated her in an uncomfortable chair. Roselin gratefully gulped down the water, her fingers trembling around the glass. The world had gone crazy, and there was nothing she could do. She took a deep breath, grabbing her phone once more. Ten missed calls and even more missed messages. Somewhere along her run, her phone reconnected to a network. For a second time, she tried to call Ryu, but the reception was out. Again. Great.
“It’s overloaded right now,” the doorman said.
Her hands found her hair once more. All the curse words she knew flew through her head. If the Richters had shadowed her to the store, they would’ve been here. A sharp breath left her—did that mean they were on the tram? “I need to go to the windmill in the Dutch area—the baker, not the one out—could you please point me in the right direction?”
“I could drive you if the roads are cleared?” an older man offered.
“Thank you.” She wasn’t sure if it was wise to step into a stranger’s car, but she needed to find Ryu. A lump formed in her throat, and tears brimmed in her eyes. She couldn’t be responsible for another death.
The older man—Rufus with a husband, two kids, four grandchildren, and three pet children—was the slowest driver she had ever seen, but it was better than running around on the street. Surprisingly, the usually busy roads were cleared, the good citizens of New Arcadia clustered to the news and listened to stay inside.
The car stopped in front of Ryu’s house, and she gave Rufus less gratitude than she should, but she was in a hurry.
She tried to burst through the door, but it was locked. Her finger pressed the bell over and over until the entrance swung open. No one was there except for some shadows lingering. She dashed inside.
The broad statue in the office jerked around. Two brown eyes set on her. A visible breath of relief left Ryu’s lips. His fingers clenched around the strands of his hair.
“Ryu,” she said as her bottom lip trembled. She ran towards him, but he held up his palm, stopping her in her tracks. “Ryu?”
He closed his eyes. A subtle tremble shook his hand as small shadows danced around his fingers. Roselin’s gaze shifted, realising the abnormally huge shadows on the wall, smothering out the light. She stood still in the middle of the living room, frozen to the ground, until Ryu opened his eyes.
“I thought you were dead,” he said with a low voice that cut like blades. Ryu laughed a dark laugh, sending chills through her body. “I thought—” He closed his eyes again. A shadow curled around his hand, forming a second skin, and he shut his fist.
“I’m not.” She stepped towards him, swallowing away the lump in her throat.
He locked her gaze once more and bared his teeth in a smile. “I can see that.” He hung his head, the corners of his lips twitching. “Everyone is looking for you. The Driver is driving around the city. Gunter and Nick are checking the hospitals.” His fingers twitched in the darkness. A laugh pushed out of him as his hand rubbed his face.
“Three…” Ryu said, and her brows furrowed in confusion. “I killed three people today,” Ryu said. Her face fell, and her stomach dropped. It was only now that she noticed the red stains on his shoes, his sleeves, and spots peeking through the black of his suit. “Because I thought you were dead.” He raised his voice, yet it still held a sharp calmness that cut into her heart. She’d rather have him yell at her instead of these faint shimmers of emotions coming out in tangled restrictions.
Roselin wrapped her arms around herself. “You can’t put their deaths on me.” She never asked for it. Hell, she wasn’t even sure what was going on.
“Are you not asking me if they’re innocent?”
She wished he’d stop smiling. “I thought you didn’t kill innocent people.”
His face fell, the muscles of his jaw twitching. “I don’t.” Ryu wiped his tears away and watched the wetness on his hand as if it was the first time he noticed he was capable of crying. She wrapped her fingers around his as her own tears ran hot on her cold cheeks.
The sudden realisation made her stomach twist, and her heart hurt in a way she didn’t think was possible. “People lost their lives,” she whispered, as if the dead were listening. “They’re dead, Ryu?” The words came more rapidly after each other. “Why are they dead? How did the tram explode? They think it wasn’t an accident…”
“It wasn’t me,” he rushed out.
She squeezed his hands. “I know. You don’t kill innocent people.” Her lips trembled. “But…” Her mum always told her there were no coincidences. It was like she finally saw the thin line between the two worlds in the city, and they were crossing each other. Still, she didn’t understand. “Why would anyone do this?”
“To prove I’m a danger to this city?”
A laugh pushed past her lips, surprising herself. Were they both going insane? “But you didn’t do this. You would never do this.”
“To kill you.” His words swiftly wiped her smile from her face.
“No.” Her hands fell from his. “I wasn’t even on the tram.” But she was supposed to be. “How did they possibly know…”
“They must have followed you.” His lips twitched, showing his teeth. He hung his head, his face pulling together as he tried to control his emotions. “Murder you, hurt me, get rid of me.”
The room spun, and she leaned on his arms. “It doesn’t make sense.”
He laughed again, and she had to fight the urge to cover his mouth with her hands. The darkness in his smile, his piercing stare—it shook her to the core.
“Doesn’t it?” Ryu said. “They kill the people I care about, so I won’t have anything left.” No matter how hard he tried to hide it all, the tears in his eyes betrayed him.
She stepped away. Her foot stomped on the ground, and her hands balled into a fist as anger filled her veins. “Well, order them to stop,” she said, as Ryu averted his gaze. “Make them stop.” All this death. Pain. “Tell them you don’t care about me.” They didn’t have to do this.
She didn’t need to get acquainted for the relationship they have.
“I can’t.” His teary eyes met hers. She held her breath until she was forced to inhale again.
He loved her.
She blinked at him, and Ryu took her chin into his icy hand. The shadows disappeared like smoke being wiped away. His lips joined hers in a soft tenderness she leaned into. He rested his forehead against hers.
“I’m thirty-one years old. I come from the city but was born on the side below the surface. My sister was forced into prostitution—I’m not even certain if she’s my biological sister—or if my guardians were my parents. I knew I was Mageía from a young age and couldn’t control it. Everything was kind of a blur. I got into too many fights until I realised I had the power to protect people with it. I started as a bouncer and climbed my way up. And when I went to you—the day after we met—I wasn’t sure what to do with you. But the painting, the look in your eyes—God, do you have any idea how addicting you are? I wanted… no, I needed more.” He smiled, but it didn’t reflect in his eyes as he answered all the questions she once asked.
“You broke my heart when I couldn’t take you to the hospital—when you left me the messages. Rightfully so,” Ryu continued. “And you broke it again when I wasn’t allowed to call you Rose anymore and once more when you returned the dresses. And you were right when you called me a coward, because I didn’t know if I was able to face your disappointment.”
She cupped his cold cheeks, bringing his mouth to hers.
“I’ve been falling in love with you,” he whispered against her lips.
“Good.”
“Is it? I’ve never been scared like this.”
Kissing his lips again, her hands rubbed his chest, making sure he knew it was a good thing. She grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs. The warm water flowed into the bathtub. Little bubbles filled the surface. She took his clothes off. Blood stained his wrist, and she washed it off in the sink.
“My darling Rose.” He kissed her neck.
“Only yours.”