Chapter 20 #2
As the call ends, I set my phone down on the balcony ledge and hang my head in my hands. Squeezing my eyes shut, I blow out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding as I run my fingers through my hair.
My father wants me to be happy. He’s willing to accept me being with a man if it means I’m happy.
And while my world has felt like it was falling apart around me, here in this house with Brooks over the past several days, I can’t deny he’s made me just that—happy and content beyond what I thought I was capable of feeling.
Brooks makes me feel cared for—fuck, adored even.
I’ve leaned on him and opened up to him more than I have anyone else.
I told him about Abigail and how my family has struggled since we lost her.
I’ve shared my fears about what comes next and how I don’t know who I’ll be beyond baseball.
Though those fears are slowly subsiding when I think about what it might be like to have someone to share my life with, not to be alone when that time comes.
And that weird fluttering ache appears in my chest again when I think of the possibility of it being Brooks beside me when that time comes.
What would that be like? Would we spend our off season soaking up time here on the beach, or would we travel together? Does Brooks want something serious? Marriage? A family? Does he envision himself as a dad someday? Do I seriously want those things?
I could see us building a life together, but I’m not sure what to make of these feelings. I need time to sort through them. Time to ask him what he wants. Before we can do that, I need to ask him something else a bit more pressing.
The patio door slides open behind me, and within moments, strong arms wrap around my waist, Brooks’ chest presses against my back, and his lips brush against the crook of my neck.
“Missed you,” I murmur so quietly I’d think he missed it if it weren’t for the stillness that takes over his body as my words sink in.
I clasp my fingers in his and turn in his arms to face him.
He looks at me with eyes full of incredulity. “You missed me?” he questions, his mouth turning up at the corners.
Nodding my response, I bite down on my bottom lip to stop myself from blurting out something I’m not sure we’re ready for.
Giving myself time to think over what I’m about to ask, I bring him in for a kiss that is meant to be tender, but I quickly get caught up in the feel of his soft lips on mine.
The pads of my fingers trail over the days-old scruff lining his jaw as one of his hands finds purchase at the nape of my neck, with the other grasping my lower back to pull me impossibly closer.
He lets out a groan when I lower my hand to grip around his throat, the sound going straight to my already thickening length.
The feel of his fingers threading through my hair and tugging while his others simultaneously dig into my back so hard I pray he’ll leave marks is driving me wild with lust and need for him. God, because only he can make me crazy.
Without breaking our kiss, I push him back against the glass door and thrust my hips into his, reveling in the way his bulge brushes against mine.
Moving my lips from his, I kiss a trail down his jaw and suck his neck before clamping down on his collarbone.
“Fuck, Will. I want you.” He trails his hand down my bare chest, but I grab hold of it before he can dip it beneath the waistband of my athletic shorts.
Chest heaving against his, my nipples harden as they brush against the fabric of his shirt. “I want you too. But first, I need to ask you something.”
He chuckles. “Okay, well, make it quick.”
I stare into his eyes with conviction, but I’m not sure Brooks knows what to make of that because he whispers, “Is everything okay?”
Clearing my throat of the nerves clogging it, I tell him, “Yeah, everything is good. I just, uh, well I wanted to ask if you’d come to Abigail’s gala with me?”
His gaze rakes over my face for so long I take a weighted breath in anticipation of his rejection.
“Of course. If you want me to come, I’ll be there to support you in any way I can.”
My brows crease. “No. Shit. I don’t think I said that right. I want you to come with me.”
“With you?” A smile teases the corners of his mouth.
I lick my lips, and on an exhale I clarify, “As my date.”
His teasing smile turns radiant. Fuck, the happiness displayed on his face right now is magnificent. I have the sudden urge to do everything in my power to keep it there.
“Are you sure you’re ready to make things public?” he questions, and my stomach churns with anxiety thinking about what the headlines will say about us. I quickly shove it down, not letting it get the best of me this time.
“Are you?” I echo back. “I just got off the phone with my dad. We had a good conversation.”
“Really?” He does a poor job of tamping back his surprise.
“Yeah. I came out to him. He was . . . shockingly supportive. It really threw me for a fucking loop at first. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. But it’s a good start.”
Brooks holds me closer, squeezing his arms tight around my middle. His happiness for me is radiant, rolling off of him and straight into my soul. It feels fucking good.
I pull back slightly, holding his eyes with mine. “And he said he’s excited to meet you. If you’re ready?”
“I’d love nothing more than to be able to hold your hand in public. To be able to kiss you whenever I want. But it’s not just about me. Is that what you want?”
Is it? A swell of warmth spreads from my chest to my stomach when I think about being able to openly hold each other and show our affection in public. It’s terrifying, but imagining Brooks on my arm makes this whole thing a lot less scary. He makes me believe it’s something I can do.
And if not for him, I’ll do it for me.
“Stepping outside of our bubble obviously leaves us vulnerable to criticism from others, but you’ve proved to me over the past several days that I need to stop worrying about what others think and put my wants and needs first and forget about the noise.
” I grin, brushing my nose against his. “So yeah, that’s what I want.
To be able to be with you out in the open.
Exclusively,” I add on, waiting with bated breath for his reaction.
He pulls my neck down and rests his forehead against mine. “There’s no way anyone else could captivate my attention the way you have, Pretty Boy. I’d love nothing more.”
My chest rumbles with soft laughter, and I close my eyes to soak in this moment before whispering, “Be patient with me. I don’t know what to make of everything I’m feeling just yet, but just know I’ve never felt such conviction for anyone else before.”
“Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere, Will.”
“Thank you.”
With everything falling apart around me, Brooks has been my anchor, keeping me grounded when all I want to do is drift away. I’ll do my best to give him all the reassurance he needs from here on out.
Speaking in poetry isn’t something I’m capable of, so instead, I pull him in and show him how I’m really feeling in the way we communicate best.