Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Wilder
T he anticipation of seeing Delilah again and spending the next few days in Vegas with her has me sweating through my shirt before we even walk into the airport. I hitched a ride with Tripp since Waylon and Harlow road-tripped it there and Noah's too pregnant to fly, so her husband, Fisher, drove them a few days ago. But Magnolia talked and sang to the radio during the entire drive so I couldn't even clear my mind before we arrived.
And I really need to because I’ve been spiraling. More than usual and it's brought me back to the days when I’d get so trapped in my head, I couldn’t find a way out until I released the pain.
The overactive thoughts, the feeling of dread, the anxiety attacks.
Like I have no control of my life at the moment.
Some of this was my own doing, like hitting Wesley in the face, but I don’t regret it. Every Thursday at anger management and every weekend at the shelter are worth it to have put him in his place.
Working with Jonah the past five days has kept me busier than usual, and although it's helped distract me a little, I'm still not a fan of him. Every time we took a break and he'd smile down at his phone while texting Delilah, I wanted to clock him.
She claims they're just friends, but if that's the case, what the hell does that make her and me?
Regardless, I'm looking forward to the break. Jonah's working under Ayden—the stables manager— and with the rest of the ranch hands that are staying behind, including Mallory and her boyfriend, Antonio.
This past summer, she begged Dad to let him work with her on the ranch after school and on the weekends. Originally he said no, but after some begging and crying that he needed to save money to buy his own horse for his future rodeo career, he caved.
Mallory’s been learning how to barrel race so now she’s on the ranch side more than normal and loves getting on my nerves.
After Landen began volunteering at the local 4-H Club two years ago, he started training Antonio on riding and roping skills and has since been practicing for when he can focus on it full-time after he graduates high school.
Which means the two of them are always around—touching and kissing—and grossing me out.
Admittedly, I don't like the little shithead. Haven't since I found them making out in the barn two years ago. When I saw his hand cupping a certain area, I pinned his ass to the wall and threatened his balls if he ever touched her again. I was ready to knock him out until Landen and Tripp showed up, demanding I let him go.
Mallory didn't speak to me for a month after that. She's never been afraid to express her opinions, and her anger toward me is no exception. Knowing how hotheaded she can be, I might find a little joy knowing Jonah's stuck there with them because I'm pretty sure she tolerates him less than I do.
Ruby, one of Noah's ranch hands, is already in Vegas with her husband, Levi, who's competing in the pro team roping events. The NFR takes place over ten days but since we couldn't take that much time off, we're arriving on day eight and will hopefully witness Ellie win the barrel racing championship on the final day.
"You only brought one bag?" Magnolia asks when I lift it onto the scale.
"Yeah? We're only going for a few days. How many did you bring?"
Tripp snorts. "Three. And one's just for shoes."
"Your boots are in there, too!" She swats his chest. "Plus, I needed clothes for the rodeo and some for the evenings when we go out."
"Oh yeah, me too," I mimic in a high-pitched voice. "My day shirts and my night shirts."
"Oh shut up." Magnolia laughs. "I'd be surprised if you remembered a change of underwear."
I snap my fingers. "Dammit, that's what I forgot."
Once we get through security, my palms sweat even more as we walk toward our gate. The moment I spot Delilah sitting next to her mom, my heart rate spikes.
"Hey! I'm so excited y'all are comin' too!" Magnolia wraps her arms around Delilah when she stands.
"Me too. Never been to Vegas before," Delilah says, avoiding my gaze.
"Oh my God, you're gonna love it. Last year was a blast. Watchin' Ellie win was an adrenaline rush I haven't felt since that day."
Delilah giggles. "Can't wait."
Magnolia drops her carry-on next to Tripp's seat. "Time to hit the bar."
"Dude, it's like eight in the mornin'," I mutter, wanting a moment with Delilah before she's pulled away.
"We're on airport time, which means it's never too early," Magnolia says over her shoulder.
"C'mon, Mom," Delilah tells her and she goes too.
"And y'all said I was bad." I snort.
The girls link arms, practically skipping away.
I sit next to Tripp and pull out my phone to check my messages.
Six from Mallory.
Mallory
This guy is a bonehead.
Why'd you leave me here with him?
OMG he HUMS. He's a hummer! Red alert!
Even though it's the middle of the school week, she's stuck working a couple hours before class since we're not there. I wouldn't be surprised if she texts me every morning to complain until we return.
Mallory
Oh and now he's whistling. I'm in hell.
I chuckle because I know how much she hates that.
Mallory
Can I kill him, please?
I'll even clean up the blood.
Shaking my head, I type out my reply that she’s gonna hate.
Wilder
Suck it up, buttercup. If I have to work with him ALL goddamn day, you can manage a few hours.
Mallory
I didn't sign up for this! I was forced against my will!
I roll my eyes at her dramatics.
Wilder
Join the club.
When I hear Delilah laugh, I glance up and stare at her.
"Doin' okay?" Tripp nudges my arm.
"Uh...yeah. Fine," I reply, keeping my gaze locked on her.
"Really?"
"Mm-hmm. Why?" I try reading her lips but I can't tell what she's staying.
"Because by that drool on your chin, I'd think you’re in love..." he taunts, smacking my jaw.
I push him away, finally breaking my trance. "We haven't talked much lately."
"Well, go up and say somethin'."
"It's not that easy."
Tripp shifts toward me, inching closer. "Don't tell me after all these years dancin' around each other, you fucked her and then screwed it up..."
"No." I shift my gaze again. "She wanted to, but I shot her down."
Tripp furrows his brow, the corner of his lips tilting up in a mocking grin. " You shot her down? Ain't no way."
"Believe it or not, I haven't had sex in over a year. Part of my therapy and gettin' my head on straight was to stay celibate."
"Wow. I'm impressed." He smirks. "Who knew you could resist Delilah after all this time?"
"Trust me, it wasn't easy. She flipped out because she thought I was rejectin' her. But then she thanked me for stoppin’ it because she claims the timing’s all wrong and is still havin’ a hard time with her dad’s death."
"That's valid, especially since Harlow was kidnapped on the same day it happened. She's been through a lot."
"I didn't even know she wanted me like that, so I was surprised. All this time, I assumed she could hardly stand me. Turns out she's been fightin' her feelings just like I have."
"So what happened after?"
I scratch my cheek, contemplating how much to tell him.
"She asked me to forget about what we did that night and go back to being just friends, and I told her I couldn't. Then I said I needed some time apart to get over my feelings for her because being around her was too hard."
"Oh shit. You really like her." He widens his eyes. "I had no idea you were so down bad."
I roll my eyes at his Taylor Swift reference. The curse of being married to a Swiftie.
"No one did, really."
Since I never told my brothers how I called a crisis hotline and talked to her for six months before meeting her as Waylon's new girlfriend, there was no way to casually bring up why I've felt something for her all this time. Something deeper than attraction.
"Did the time apart work?"
I breathe out a humorless laugh. "Not even close. Actually, it made it worse. Not talkin' or seein' her made me want to talk and see her even more. When that article about Jonah came out, I asked her why she helped him and then we argued a little. Later that night, I picked her and Mattie up from the Mexican restaurant and they were drunk off their asses—with Jonah. I made sure they got home safely and texted her the next mornin' to check on her, but that's it."
"Sounds like you need to use the next few days to decide what you're gonna do. If you can't get over your feelings but you don't want to stop hangin' out, you're gonna have to learn how to suffer in silence. And trust me, I did that—for years. I had to watch Magnolia with her douchebag on-and-off again boyfriend and wait for the right moment."
"And what was the right moment for you?"
"It doesn't exist, man. There's no one right moment to tell the woman you're secretly in love with her that you love her. When I thought she was crushin' on some random dude, I snapped. Ask Landen. Nearly kicked his ass until he told me I was the dude she was crushin’ on. That was the big aha moment. Not necessarily the right moment because I made a fool of myself for makin' assumptions, but it was the moment that made me realize if I didn't do somethin' now, I could lose her forever."
"But Magnolia jumped all in with you. How do I convince Delilah to at least give us a shot? Or a chance to prove myself?"
Tripp contemplates it for a moment. "You show her. She thinks she's not ready because she's scared and protectin' her heart. If she's been into you for a while, it's understandable why she's hesitant. She's had to watch you hook up with girls for years and never make a commitment. Prove to her you're ready by your actions."
"Okay." I nod, swallowing hard. "And how do I do that?"
Tripp grins, staring at Magnolia from across the gate. "Never give her a chance to doubt your intentions. Lay everythin' out so she knows exactly where you stand."
I'm stuck sitting next to someone I don't know since I'm the third-wheel. Delilah and Mrs. Fanning are a few rows in front of Tripp and Magnolia who are ahead of me. Less than two hours later, we land in Dallas for our layover.
And this time I'm determined to speak to her since I didn't get the chance to before we took off. Magnolia hogged her the entire time and then when we boarded, Delilah walked on with her mom.
"How were the airport cocktails?" I ask from behind while she stands in line for coffee. Mrs. Fanning is sitting at a table while Tripp and Magnolia walk around, so I take the opportunity to get her alone for a few minutes.
She turns until she faces me. "Expensive, but good. Definitely helped the pre-flight anxiety."
"Yeah, that was a bumpy ride."
When the plane hit turbulence, a chorus of gasps echoed throughout the cabin, and I had to hold onto the seat in front of me until it stopped.
"Shoulda had one with us," she says with a genuine smile, and I consider that a good sign. "Unless you're waitin' for Vegas before drinkin'?"
Stuffing my hands in my front pockets, I shrug. "Didn't wanna interrupt your girlfest."
With a snort, she turns and moves through the line. Her blue eyes meet mine over her shoulder. "Since when do you care about interruptin'? You love being the center of attention."
"That's not true..." With my arms pulled back behind me, I draw closer. My lips brush the shell of her ear as my voice drops to a whisper, "I love being the center of your attention."
Her spine stiffens and the hair on the back of her neck prickles. But before she can respond, the cashier's voice cuts through the air, calling for the next person.
Delilah swallows hard and then walks until she’s in front of the cashier.
After she orders, I move next to her and add in my drink, then pull out my wallet.
"I could've paid," she says softly, watching me.
"But then I couldn't call this a date." I wink, then hand the cashier my card.
A look of confusion spreads across her face. I probably shouldn't have said that before we had a chance to discuss the situation between us, but it's too late now.
Once we move to the end of the counter and wait for our drinks, we both start talking at the same time.
"Sorry, go ahead," I tell her.
"No, it's fine. You go."
I shift my weight uncomfortably, trying to come up with the words I want to say without scaring her away. Being in the middle of the airport where it's loud and chaotic isn't helping either.
"Uh, well..." Licking my lips, I scrub a hand across my jawline. "I wanted to tell you that takin' time apart didn't help me get over my feelings. Not that I truly thought it would but..."
I'm interrupted by the barista handing us our drinks. "Thank you."
Delilah grabs the two drinks for her and Mrs. Fanning, and I grab mine. Then I follow her to the table where her mom's waiting.
"Hi, Wilder." She smirks suspiciously at me, grabbing her coffee cup.
"Hello, Mrs. Fanning. How're you?"
"I'm lovely, thank you." She takes a sip of her chai tea, then shifts her gaze to Delilah. "I'm gonna walk around the gift shop and find a new book to read. I'll meet you back at our gate, sweetheart."
"Oh, are you sure?" Delilah looks panicked but her mom puts her at ease.
"Of course. That way you and Wilder can talk in private." She flashes her a wink before she leaves.
"That was...interestin'," I say, then bring the cup up to my lips to stop myself from asking if she talked to her mom about us.
"Very."
"I don't think I was supposed to see that little gesture she made, but I'm pretty sure she likes me." I waggle my brows and she rolls her eyes.
"Where do you wanna talk?" she asks.
"I'm sure there's an empty gate somewhere."
"Or we could find one of those private nursin’ rooms and find out why they call it breast feeding ..."
"Wilder Hollis!" She burst out laughing, playfully shoving my chest, but I don't budge. "You're not slick."
"What?" I feign innocence. "I can't be curious?"
"Mm-hmm...I'm sure you're so curious."