Chapter 7 #2
The butler, resplendent in his dark blue livery, regarded her expectantly. Hopefully, he would not recognize her from her prior visits as Ellis Dangerfield, companion to Lady Minerva.
“I am Mr. Ellis,” she said in her deepest, most authoritative tone. “For Miss Barclay.” She had moved her hand to speak and now turned her head slightly as the butler opened the door and invited her inside.
“Miss Barclay is awaiting you in the drawing room. If you’ll follow me.
” He led her up the staircase, and Ellis recalled her other visits to see her friend Persephone, the Duchess of Wellesbourne, always in Min’s company.
Fleetingly, Ellis wondered if those women were only her friends because of Min, but that seemed silly.
She was seeing Pandora on her own without Min.
Surely that meant Ellis was their friend.
Ellis stopped cold as the butler moved into the drawing room. What if Min was there? What if Pandora had tricked Ellis into coming so that Min could see her?
“Mr. Ellis?”
The sound of the butler saying her name drew Ellis to blink and move forward. He gestured for her to precede him, then followed her over the threshold. “Mr. Ellis has arrived,” he announced.
Pandora jumped up from a chair, smiling broadly. “Thank you, Ralston.”
He departed, and Ellis walked toward Pandora, who kept grinning. “You’re not wearing the beard.”
“I despise it,” Ellis said. “I find it difficult to eat with it on. However, I’ve decided I don’t think it’s wise for me to stay for dinner.
You’d have to ask the footman to leave, and I don’t want to draw attention to myself or how I look.
” It had been bad enough when Keele had figured out almost immediately that she was a woman, and now Margot knew as well.
But Ellis wasn’t going to tell Pandora any of that.
“I understand,” Pandora said, though she appeared a bit disappointed. “I’m just glad you’re here. You’ll stay for a while?”
Ellis smiled. “I would like that.”
They moved to a settee and sat down, angling themselves so they faced one another.
“Are you thrilled to have your book published?” Ellis asked.
“I think I’m still in shock,” Pandora replied. “But yes. I wasn’t sure anyone would like it.”
“It’s brilliant,” Ellis said. “I’ve read it twice.”
Pandora glowed. “Have you?”
“Eagerly. I know what really happened to you two years ago with Bane, and there are many parallels in this book. I was not at all surprised when Dinah chose herself over either of the men who claimed to love her.”
“I assumed you and our other friends would not be surprised. Persey said the same thing after she read it.”
“You’re a skilled writer,” Ellis said. “I hope you plan to continue.”
“I do,” Pandora replied. “Writing A Season in Shadow was challenging, but it also healed me, I think. I hope the next book will be a bit more enjoyable to write,” she added with a laugh.
“I hope so too, but drawing on your personal experience is undoubtedly what has made A Season in Shadow such a compelling story.” Ellis paused as she studied her friend. “Does this mean you’ve chosen yourself forever?”
“I didn’t intend to.” Pandora shook her head with regret.
“When he said he loved me and that he wanted to marry me, I believed him. I don’t think I could ever trust a man again, nor do I want to.
Everyone knows how devastated I was, but I’ve come to accept my spinsterhood.
Indeed, I’m quite comfortable in it. Now I have my writing and an income.
I feel surprisingly satisfied overall.” She clasped her hands in her lap and smiled benignly, looking more than satisfied if Ellis had to describe her.
Ellis couldn’t help feeling a bit of envy. “I’m so happy for you. Will you continue to live with your aunt, or do you plan to set up your own household?”
“I’m quite content living with Aunt Lucinda. She’s the mother I always wished I’d had.”
Much to Ellis’s chagrin, her envy intensified. “That’s lovely,” she murmured.
“Someday, I imagine I’ll have my own household, but I don’t know when that will be. What about you?” Pandora asked.
“Like you, I’m quite satisfied with my work for now.” Though, Ellis would enjoy it more if she could be herself and stop sticking fake hair to her face.
“As a secretary in which you have to dress as a man,” Pandora noted wryly.
It was as if she’d read Ellis’s thoughts.
“I’m glad you’re happy for now, but I can’t think this is a permanent situation.
I do hope you’ve been able to work through some of your—well, I don’t know what emotions you were feeling when you found out the truth about your parents. Are you still struggling with it?”
“How could I not?” Ellis replied. She’d known this subject would come up, of course, but that didn’t mean she wanted to talk about it. “By the way, I wanted to thank you for ensuring I had to come tonight by telling your footman not to stay for a reply. I’m assuming you did that on purpose.”
Pandora pressed her lips together with what seemed like guilt.
“My apologies, but I needed to make sure you’re all right and that you’re truly in a situation that you chose and are happy with.
You can always come live with me and Lucinda.
That was her idea, by the way,” she added.
“She’s at a party this evening, which is why I invited you tonight, so that you wouldn’t have to see her if you didn’t want to. ”
“I appreciate that,” Ellis said softly. “Though I like your aunt very much. Please thank her for the kind offer.”
“We would give you much more than a roof over your head, though I daresay having that would be help enough so you don’t have to pay for lodging.”
“I don’t pay for lodging since I’m living in Keele’s house.” Too late, Ellis realized Pandora hadn’t known that. She’d only been aware that Ellis was his employee.
Pandora’s eyes widened. “You’re living at his house? Secretaries don’t typically live with their employers.”
“No, but he wanted someone who could work a great deal and who would be available at all hours.” She sounded almost defensive. Perhaps because their relationship had gone beyond employer and employee, at least briefly.
“And he knows you’re a woman?” Pandora didn’t wait for an answer, for she already knew he did. “This seems nearly scandalous. Is it?”
“No, because nobody else is aware that I’m a woman.” Except that wasn’t true anymore.
Shockingly, Ellis found she would rather discuss her parentage than her living situation with Keele. After their kisses earlier, she could not banish him from her mind for more than a few moments. Riding in the coach with him had been torture, particularly knowing her clothing aroused him.
This could easily become a scandalous situation unless they were very careful to avoid temptation. It seemed they would try after their discussion about where Ellis would work, but tonight, the attraction between them felt even more insurmountable.
“Let me assure you, I am well and content,” Ellis said.
“Whilst I’m glad to hear that, what about Min and Jo?” Pandora stared at her with an almost pleading expression. “They both care for you, especially Min. She was devastated that you didn’t come to her wedding.”
Ellis’s throat constricted. She hadn’t turned her back on them—at least not permanently. “I couldn’t risk the duchess being there,” she said weakly.
“She wasn’t there,” Pandora said. “In fact, she’s been banished from both Henlow House and Beacon Park, including the dowager house. She remains at her house in Bath, as far as anyone knows, for she has nowhere else to go.”
Ellis was glad to hear that she’d been ostracized.
Now she needn’t worry that she would encounter her here in London.
However, her presence in Bath meant living with Pandora and her aunt would be unacceptable.
Ellis didn’t care to inhabit the same city as the duchess.
“I do want to see Min—soon,” Ellis said carefully.
“When you speak with her, please tell her I’m well and that I miss her. ”
Pandora frowned. “Are you angry with her?”
“No,” Ellis replied without hesitation. “My feelings are…complicated. I’ve been at everyone’s mercy for so long, and I’m not who I thought I was.
I’m not even legitimate.” She tried to keep the bitterness from her voice and failed.
“Working for Keele and becoming independent is helping me to move forward, to determine my own fate instead of having it decided by others.”
“I think I understand,” Pandora said gently. “What about meeting your father? Jo is hoping to introduce you. As father and daughter, that is. She said you met him at her and Sheff’s engagement ball.”
That was true, though Ellis remembered little about him. He had blond hair like hers and was incredibly gregarious. She recalled him laughing and smiling, and he seemed to know everyone. “Does he know about me?”
“I don’t believe so. Would you consider speaking to Jo?”
“I would like to meet my father.” Ellis couldn’t resist the potential of having one parent who might care for her. “Perhaps it would be best if Jo coordinated that.”
“I know she would love to arrange that meeting and go with you.” Pandora smiled encouragingly. “Can I arrange for you to speak with her?”
“Yes, but not at Henlow House. I would certainly be recognized.” The more people who knew of her disguise and whom she worked for, the higher the risk she would be discovered.
She just wasn’t ready to face Min or Sheff—and definitely not their mother.
“I also can’t meet with Jo as a woman because I don’t have my clothing.
It’s at the boarding house where I was living before. ”
“I could fetch it for you,” Pandora offered.
“I would have to leave Keele’s house as a man, change my clothes, meet with Jo, then change back into my secretary clothing to return to Keele’s house.” She blew out a breath in frustration. “That sounds far too difficult.”