Chapter 12
Ellis was shaking as she tried to press the beard back to her face. It wouldn’t stick. She was nearly out of the adhesive and hadn’t used as much today in order to preserve what she had left.
Roman had probably dislodged it when he’d kissed her. She cursed her stupidity and weakness for allowing him to do so.
It took every fiber of her being not to jump up and flee the library—or perhaps the house. She was going to have to do that anyway. She could not continue in Roman’s employ.
Mr. Lacey eyed Roman. “Did you know your secretary was a woman? Forgive me, but you don’t seem surprised.”
Roman sent Ellis a look of apology and sympathy. “I did know, and I acknowledge a female secretary is unacceptable to most people. However, she’s extremely qualified, and I’m incredibly satisfied with her work. In fact, I would ask that you don’t discount her because of her sex.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t,” Mr. Lacey said, sounding slightly insulted, which surprised Ellis. His brow creased as he regarded Roman. “Surely you know me well enough to realize I wouldn’t object to your hiring whoever you think is best for the position.”
Roman blinked, appearing bewildered. “I do know that you are more forward-thinking than most gentlemen, however the topic of women working in clerical or secretarial positions hasn’t ever come up in our conversation before. I suppose I didn’t even think to talk to you about it.”
“All you need do is see how much I’ve encouraged Margot to participate with Lacey and Company, and even Harriet.” Mr. Lacey smiled at both his daughter and wife.
Now that Josiah pointed that out, Ellis could see how he would not be bothered by Ellis’s position. She felt a great relief.
“I say she should just be herself.” Mr. Lacey turned his gaze on Ellis. “And who is that exactly?”
Ellis’s relief was short-lived as panic overcame that emotion. She wasn’t going to tell them who she really was, of course. She glanced toward Roman, who also appeared tense. He watched her expectantly, clearly waiting for her to answer as she wished.
“I am Mrs. Daniel Ellis, a widow,” she said far more calmly than she felt.
“My husband left me without funds, and I don’t have any family, so I needed to find employment.
As you know, that’s difficult for a woman unless she wants to go into domestic service, which I did not.
I’m afraid my skills do not lie in that domain.
” She summoned a self-deprecating smirk to sell the lie, though in truth, she would not make a very good housemaid.
“My husband was a clerk to a barrister. I learned many skills from him, and I had hoped to find that sort of work. However, I was unable to do so as myself, and so I disguised myself as a man, and Lord Keele was kind enough to hire me and allow me to prove myself.”
“Which she has done beyond my expectations,” Roman said firmly.
Ellis was incredibly grateful for his support.
He continued to surprise her with how vehemently he supported her, even championed her.
She’d had allies before—Min, Sheff, the duke, her friends—but she hadn’t had a partner who not only saw her value but made sure others saw and appreciated it too.
All of this kept her from completely losing control.
“Did you know she was a woman disguised as a man when you hired her?” Mrs. Lacey asked. Ellis couldn’t tell how the woman felt, but she seemed less enthusiastically supportive than her husband. Then again, Ellis had observed that she was overall more reserved.
“I confess I did not at first,” Roman replied. “However, I saw through her disguise relatively quickly. By then, I’d already decided she was too valuable to let go.”
Ellis slid her attention to Margot, who’d been quiet through the entire exchange. She met Ellis’s gaze and brightened.
“I think Mrs. Ellis is brilliant, and it would be wonderful to have another woman working at Lacey and Company, even though she doesn’t actually work for Lacey and Company.
” Margot gave Ellis an encouraging smile.
“I like working with her. And thank you, Papa, for giving me the chance to work with Lacey and Company. I can’t think of any other fathers who would allow that. ”
Ellis couldn’t either, and she found herself envying Margot Lacey. She had two wonderful, supportive parents. It was no wonder Roman had continued to maintain a close relationship with them after his wife’s death. Especially since he didn’t have parents of his own.
“I have no issue with Mrs. Ellis’s employment,” Mr. Lacey said. “In fact, it would be a shame if she were to leave. It’s clear she’s an exceptional secretary.”
“Can she now dress as a woman and simply be Mrs. Ellis?” Margot asked, her brow creased with concern.
“I have no problem with that.” Roman slid his attention toward Ellis, his eyes glittering with anticipation.
She could tell he was eager to see her dressed as a woman, and she could not deny the relief that coursed through her at the prospect of no longer having to dress as a man or wear this horrible hair on her face.
However, much as she wanted to dress as a woman, she needed to think about the consequences of doing so.
The servants in the house would know she was a woman, and the more people who knew, the higher the risk that some member of the Henlow household would find her.
She wasn’t worried about facing any of them anymore—she’d already decided she wanted to see Min and Sheff soon.
She never wanted to see the duchess again, but since it seemed she was not in London, that was not in danger of happening.
The problem with discovery now was that she was secretary to the Marquess of Keele, and she wasn’t a widow.
She was a young, unmarried woman, and her position in Roman’s household would be viewed as scandalous.
Whilst Ellis didn’t care about her own reputation, she wouldn’t allow this situation to reflect poorly on Roman, or on Min or Sheff if her identity as Min’s former companion was revealed.
Ellis realized the others were watching her expectantly, and with kindness and encouragement.
She felt surprisingly emotional. Why? Because, like Roman, they wanted her for who she was and what she could offer.
“Thank you. I appreciate your support and understanding. I’ll have to think about whether I want to give up my disguise.
” For now, she removed the rest of the beard as it was failing anyway.
“I do understand,” Mrs. Lacey said sympathetically. “There will be people who are scandalized by Keele having a female secretary, especially since you live here. I confess I will need to become accustomed to the arrangement.”
“But she’s a widow,” Mr. Lacey argued. “There’s no need for her to protect her reputation.”
“Not in the same way,” Mrs. Lacey pointed out. “However, there will be some who think it’s inappropriate, and Mrs. Ellis won’t wish to be shunned.”
Mrs. Lacey was right. If Ellis was going to be a woman, it might be best if she returned to the boarding house. The thought of leaving Roman’s household made her surprisingly sad.
“I like that she lives here,” Roman said. “We have a highly professional relationship, and that’s all that should matter. Shall we return to business?”
Ellis was grateful to him putting an end to the conversation. They continued with the meeting, and Ellis tried not to think too much about what would happen next. But when the meeting concluded, her anxiety returned.
After the Laceys departed, she stood in front of her chair and put her head in her hands.
Roman came to her and tried to wrap his arms around her. She backed away from his embrace. “You can’t do that.” She glanced nervously toward the open door of the library. “I need to go to my chamber. I can’t have Graham or anyone else seeing me without my beard—not until I determine what to do.”
Roman took her forearms and turned her so that her back was to the door. “Now no one can see you if they come in, all right?”
Giving her a caring smile, he clasped her hands and massaged the backs with his thumbs. “Don’t fret, Ellis. All will be well. You saw how the Laceys reacted, and I’ve told you my retainers are discreet. They will not share your secret. Besides, the Widow Ellis story is a good one.”
“I shouldn’t have used the name Ellis when I came here.
If the Laceys or one of your servants mentions the name ‘Mrs. Ellis’ in reference to your secretary, who happens to lodge here, that might draw someone’s attention.
And if they share that I have blonde hair, it would be easy to make the connection that I am Ellis Dangerfield, former companion to Lady Minerva Halifax. Now, Lady Minerva Pierce.”
“Who would know any of these things?” Roman asked with a slight chuckle.
“You put it all together,” Ellis replied, and Roman grimaced faintly.
She took her hands from his and clasped them in front of her.
“Presumably, the employees at Lacey and Company will also come to know who I am, as well as those working at the New Bond Street library. The circle grows wider, and so does the risk of my being found.”
“What if you continue to wear a wig over your blonde hair?” Roman suggested. “You could be a brunette.”
Ellis blinked. “That’s a good idea. I don’t have one, however.”
“Then we’ll procure one,” he said.
“I also need my clothes from the boarding house.”
“We’ll go there too.”
“And what about the servants?” she asked. “You’re just going to tell them I’m a woman?”
“Leave it to me.” He held her gaze and looked quite serious. “You said you trusted me.”
“I do.” The tightness in her chest loosened. Her fear and anxiety diminished, and it was all because of the man in front of her. He’d done so much to give her a safe place. That was it—she felt safe here. With him. She’d never experienced that before.
“This will work,” he assured her. “I promise. Now, let’s be on our way. I find I’m most eager to see you in feminine clothing.”