Chapter 5
The warm yellow light from the living room spilled out behind Siya, then faded when she pulled the balcony door shut.
Judging by her outfit, she had just come home. A fitted navy blazer hung open over a soft blue blouse, the sleeves pushed back in that absentminded way she always did when she was knee-deep in work.
Anger flickered in her dark eyes as she walked across the tiled floor, and Kashvi felt her stomach tighten. She knew that look. The lecture was coming.
But then Siya surprised her by dropping a leather file onto the small wooden table before pulling her into a fierce hug.
A slow breath escaped Kashvi as the tension she had carried all evening finally eased. She wrapped her arms around her sister, her throat constricting when she felt Siya sniffle against her shoulder.
Kashvi knew how to handle her anger, but never her tears. Words failed her, so she simply held on just as tightly.
Siya cleared her throat and pulled back just enough to look at her. ‘Do you have any idea how impossible you are?’
Kashvi let out a soft huff. ‘Thank you. I like to list that as my best quality right at the top of my résumé.’
Siya smacked her arm. ‘What the hell were you thinking, Kashu?’
Kashvi winced, though the corner of her mouth lifted as she rubbed the spot. ‘Well, hello to you too.’
‘Stop that,’ Siya snapped, folding her arms. ‘I’m still really mad at you.’
‘What did I do?’ Kashvi asked, trying her best to look innocent.
‘Don’t you dare pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about,’ Siya warned, narrowing her eyes.
‘You’re just pissed off because you missed me. Usually you scold me first and hug me later,’ Kashvi teased, stalling.
‘Shut up. I hugged you to stop myself from strangling you!’
‘Whatever. You know I’m right,’ Kashvi laughed.
Siya pinned her with a glare. ‘I’m glad you think this is funny. Let’s see if you’re still laughing when I tell you there’s no birthday gift from me this year.’
Kashvi sobered immediately. ‘No. That is not a fair punishment.’
Siya pointed at her. ‘If you want your gift, you’ll tell me right now where you’ve been.’
‘I told you, I stayed over at Rhea’s place,’ Kashvi replied, keeping it simple.
She had to stick to her story, and she could trust Swayam to keep his word. He had only hesitated briefly before agreeing not to tell anyone, especially Siya. Only if she went back home with him afterwards.
But that was a problem for later.
Right now, Siya was watching her suspiciously. ‘Why were you avoiding my calls then?’
Kashvi cleared her throat. ‘I just lost track of time. You know how many projects I’m juggling. I forgot to check in, that’s all. I didn’t mean to worry you, Di.’
‘Well, you did,’ Siya argued, exhaling slowly. She tilted her head as she studied her more closely. ‘Have you been sleeping well?’
Kashvi hoped the concealer would hold because she’d applied it hurriedly in the car. ‘Work has been keeping me up, but it’s not too bad.’
‘Kashu… have the nightmares come back?’
There went all her effort. For a moment, she considered denying it, but the way Siya was looking at her made it pointless.
‘Just a few,’ Kashvi admitted in a whisper.
Siya went still. ‘How long?’
‘Just a few nights.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
Kashvi leaned back against the railing, crossing one ankle over the other, trying to appear relaxed. ‘Because I can handle it. I still sleep, just a few hours here and there. It’s not as bad as it looks.’
Siya didn’t look convinced. ‘Have you been journalling them? Maithili said tracking them helps identify triggers.’
‘I have.’
It still wasn’t enough for her. ‘Do you know what triggered them? Maybe I should talk to Maithili tomorrow—’
‘That won’t be necessary, Di,’ Kashvi cut in. ‘I’ve already seen her twice this week. It’s all good. I promise.’
‘Have the seizures come back too?’
Kashvi tightened her grip on the railing. She only shook her head.
Siya gave a sceptical hum. ‘What if they do? Maybe I should stay with you, or you could live here for a couple of weeks.’
Panic shot through Kashvi. She needed to shut this down, fast. ‘Di, I skipped our group dinner last night because I went shopping and clubbing with my friends. Do you really think I’d do that if I was worried about having a seizure?’
‘I don’t know… would you?’ Siya asked, doubt ringing in her voice.
Kashvi reached out, rubbing her arm gently. ‘Trust me. I’ve got things under control.’
Siya studied her intently, and Kashvi knew she was facing the lawyer in her sister now, the one who could spot lies like a neon sign. ‘You’re sure?’
Kashvi held her gaze. ‘Yes.’
Silence lingered between them for a moment before Siya sighed, ‘Still, I don’t understand what’s going on with you. I feel like you’re hiding something from me, and it’s driving me nuts.’
‘You worry too much over little things. Maybe you should pick up another project, or maybe a hobby…’ Kashvi murmured, pretending to think.
Siya took a slow breath. ‘You know, I try very hard to remember that I’m your sister, not your mother. But moments like these make me wish you were my kid so I could properly scold you.’
Guilt twisted sharply through Kashvi’s chest. She knew how complicated that word had become for Siya.
The horde of bitter memories rose with brutal clarity. The merciless fire, the violent crash of the car, the harsh glare of hospital lights afterwards.
They had survived, but the cost had been far too high.
Kashvi cleared her throat, dragging herself back to the present. ‘Well, when that day comes, I promise I’ll fulfil my sacred duty as the aunt and help your kid escape your lectures.’
‘You make me sound terrifying.’
‘You are terrifying, which is why I’ll have to save them.’
‘You sound very confident. That’s good, because that time might come pretty soon,’ Siya said, her eyes glinting. ‘Abhay and I have been talking about it.’
Kashvi turned fully towards her. ‘Wait, you mean you guys might finally…?’
‘Uh-huh,’ Siya said, a faint smile tugging at her lips. ‘We might adopt a baby soon.’
Kashvi clapped her hands before engulfing her sister in a hug. ‘Oh Di, that’s awesome!’ she exclaimed with joy that made her chest feel full.
‘Abhay made some very convincing arguments,’ Siya said with a hint of mischief in her eyes.
‘Which is why he’s perfect for you,’ Kashvi teased.
‘I let him win,’ Siya replied, patting her back. ‘Don’t get your hopes up just yet. It’ll still take time to finalise things.’
‘That doesn’t matter. The fact that you’re even considering it is huge. You’re going to be an incredible mother,’ Kashvi said, squeezing her hands tightly.
Siya hesitated. ‘You think so?’
‘I know so.’
‘Nothing is official yet. We’re still talking to Vihaan.’
Kashvi’s brows shot up. ‘Vihaan? Dhruv’s friend?’
‘Yes. We’re thinking that adopting from Lenora Home here in the city might make the transition easier for the child. Dhruv set it up.’
Kashvi scoffed. ‘Of course he felt the need to involve himself.’
‘He was just trying to be supportive.’
Kashvi exhaled sharply, her gaze fixed on the city below. ‘I don’t see why he needs to be involved at all.’
‘He’s friendly with the kids there. Having someone they know might help them settle in. And because Dhruv is… he’s our brother.’
‘Stepbrother!’ Kashvi snapped.
Siya gently rubbed her back. ‘I know things are still complicated between you.’
‘I wouldn’t say that,’ Kashvi said quickly.
‘Then what would you call it?’
Kashvi clasped her hands behind her back to hide their trembling. ‘I would call it having a very good memory of the past.’
Siya sighed, looking up at the sky. ‘I think he’s trying to make up for those bad memories.’
‘And what does he want in return, a parade?’
‘Kashu.’
‘You want me to pretend everything is fine? It’s too late for that.’ Kashvi counted to ten in her mind to steady herself. ‘Just forget about Dhruv for now, okay? You and Jiju are doing something wonderful. That’s all that matters.’
‘Adoption isn’t easy. I just hope it all works out,’ Siya admitted, fidgeting with her sapphire ring.
‘If anyone deserves to be parents, it’s the two of you,’ Kashvi said, her sincerity clear.
Siya turned to her hesitantly. ‘I want the same for you too.’
Kashvi bit the inside of her cheek. ‘You know how I feel about that, Di.’
‘Yes. You’ve told me many times that you don’t wish to get married. But every year, I keep hoping you’ll tell me why.’
‘There’s nothing to talk about.’
Siya didn’t let it go. ‘I’m not saying it has to happen tomorrow or even next year. But someday… I want to see you with someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved.’
Do I?
Kashvi shook the thought away. ‘I know you see a different future for me, but this is what I want. It’s simple. I don’t want to get married. Ever.’
‘You’ve been saying that since you were a teenager. I’m starting to think you might actually mean it.’
Kashvi met her gaze steadily. ‘Welcome to the party.’
Clearly unsettled, Siya went on, ‘You’re still young. People change their minds.’
Kashvi stood firmly by the decision her younger self had made. ‘Not about things like this. I’m sure about this choice.’
Siya rubbed her temple. ‘I don’t want you to spend your life alone.’
Kashvi gestured towards the men laughing in the living room. ‘I won’t be alone. I’ll have you, Jiju, and those cartoons out there to keep me company.’
‘That’s not the same thing as having a partner in life.’
Kashvi had spent years coming to terms with that truth. ‘It’s enough for me.’
‘But why?’
Kashvi thought for a moment, weighing how much to say. ‘Just because you and Mihu found two exceptional men doesn’t mean I will.’
‘C’mon, you don’t actually believe that,’ Siya urged.
‘I’ve seen what happens when the wrong man thinks marriage gives him control over your life.’
Siya’s tone softened. ‘Are you talking about Dad?’
Kashvi shrugged. ‘Take your pick. Dad, Mihu’s ex, half our relatives. They’re all the same.’
‘That doesn’t happen in every marriage,’ Siya reasoned.
‘It happens in enough of them.’
Siya pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose. ‘You’re letting fear make decisions for you, Kashu.’
‘I call it learning from experience. I’m never going to end up like Maa.’
‘Hey,’ Siya said, catching hold of her arm. ‘Is that what you’re worried about? You know that I would never let you get trapped her, right?’
Kashvi nodded. ‘I know. That’s why I’m eliminating the need to be saved by never getting married. I think it’s a genius plan.’
Siya smacked her lightly on the forehead, making her laugh.
‘So why exactly did you wait until after Dhruv knew to tell me about the adoption plans?’ The moment the words left her mouth, Kashvi winced inwardly. She’d been so off the grid.
Siya pinned her with a scathing look.
Great! Maybe I should also remind her that I failed math test in class five?
‘Sorry, I take it back,’ Kashvi said quickly, raising her hands. ‘That was a very stupid question.’
‘You’re lucky I’m in a forgiving mood,’ Siya said dryly, turning to pick up the leather file from the table. She held it out towards her. ‘This was another reason I needed to find you.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Read it.’
The leather felt cool under her fingers as Kashvi opened it. Inside were neatly clipped documents, the letterhead of their family’s legal firm printed at the top.
Inheritance Activation & Transfer of Chairmanship of Kashyap Foundation Trust.
Her stomach tightened as Siya nudged a pen towards her. ‘You just need to sign the marked sections.’
Kashvi took it, turning it slowly between her fingers as she gathered the courage to do it. With a sigh, she uncapped the pen and began signing through the sections.
‘I’m surprised you’re actually doing it,’ Siya said, relief in her voice. ‘You’ve been refusing that money ever since the lawyers first mentioned it.’
Kashvi kept her misty eyes on the page. She didn’t need reminding that she was breaking a vow she had once sworn to keep.
Every rupee in the inheritance her mother left behind was tangled too tightly with memories she never wanted to revisit. But the chairmanship of the family trust had changed things.
No more red tape. No more waiting months for approvals. No more turning away children because there weren’t enough resources. And she could direct that money where it was needed the most.
It was a win-win. At least, that’s what she told herself so she could live with it.
‘The foundation needs this money. That’s the only reason I agreed.’
‘So you’re going to put your inheritance into the foundation?’
‘Uh-huh. All of it.’
‘Why are you not keeping any of it?’ Siya asked.
Because it’s blood money.
Kashvi said, ‘I don’t need it. I earn enough to get by.’
Siya simply hummed in response.
Kashvi flipped through the pages quickly and handed the file back without another word. Unable to look at it any longer, she turned towards the city, watching the thin stream of headlights along the distant highway like drifting fireflies.
After a heavy pause, Siya asked, ‘Kashu, tell me honestly… are you really okay?’
Kashvi closed her eyes and tightened her grip on the railing. She knew the answer she should give, but she couldn’t force the words out.
There are only so many lies I can bear to tell her.
‘I’m trying my best to be okay. That’s the most honest answer I can give you right now, Di.’
Siya slipped an arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer. ‘I have a right to know if something’s bothering you. You’ve always been my first priority.’
Until her baby comes.
Kashvi pictured her sister months from now, holding a child, her world revolving around feeding schedules and bedtime routines. Her priorities would change, like it should.
And she would never demand space in that world.
‘I mean it when I say I’ll handle things. Just trust me, Di.’
The balcony door slid open, and Abhay leaned through the gap. ‘Hey, we’ve warmed the dinner.’
‘We’ll be out in a minute,’ Siya replied.
He blew her a kiss before sliding the door shut again.
She turned back to Kashvi, smoothing her hair the way she used to when they were younger. ‘I’m taking your word for it. But you can talk to me about anything, anytime. Remember, you’re my kiddo, so take better care of yourself. Got it?’
Kashvi nodded, blinking rapidly to hold back her tears. ‘I promise.’
Guilt sparked deep inside her soul, because she already knew it might become another promise she would break.