Chapter Twenty-Eight #2
She starts down, moving carefully and confidently. Frank hovers near the edge of the pit. “Careful now.”
“That’s it, sweetheart. Keep your weight even,” I say. “Good job.”
“Not too fast,” Frank says. “Watch it.”
Ellie stops and looks up with an amused expression. “Dad, I’m not made of glass.”
“Just get down there safely, will ya?” Frank snaps.
I stifle a grin, wondering if he realizes the fear he feels right now is probably what Ellie feels every time he does something risky.
“She’s doing great, Frank,” I reassure him.
“We’ll see,” he says tightly, watching her like a hawk as she touches down.
“I did it!” she calls up, and unhooks the rope from her harnesses.
“Awesome job, El,” I call down to her as Frank exhales with relief. I clap him on the shoulder. “You were right, Frank. She was born to do this.”
“That’s my girl,” he says.
“How does it look down there?” I call down to Ellie.
She looks around, then calls up to us, “Like it’s waiting for us to explore! Get down here.”
As Frank and I gear up, I notice his hands are shaking. “Nervous?”
He scoffs. “Not even a little.”
“You’re a stronger man than me. The first time I did this, I was sure I was going to break an ankle.”
I stick close as he climbs over the edge, and we descend side by side. Frank goes extra slow, his jaw tight, brow furrowed.
“You’re doing great, Frank. That’s perfect, slow and steady.”
“Good job, Dad!” Ellie shouts. “You’re almost done!”
When Frank’s boots hit the ground, he exhales like he’s been holding his breath.
“Nice descent, Frank.”
“Way to go, Dad!” Ellie cheers.
Frank stands taller, grinning proudly as he frees himself from the rope.
It’s easy to imagine him as a cocky younger man without any physical limitations.
As he and Ellie talk about our adventure, I wonder about that younger man, left by his wife of umpteen years, with two teenage girls to raise.
When Ellie’s mother left, I don’t think she took pieces of Ellie with her, but she wounded the ones that mattered most, shattering her sense of safety, her trust, and the fragile parts that believed in hopes and dreams and promises of forever.
I can only imagine the fault lines Frank has been living with.
We leave the harnesses by the ropes and head out to explore the grittier side of caving. We walk, climb, and GI Joe crawl, discovering various tunnels, cavities, and chambers. Some are too small to do more than stand in; others are much larger, walls streaked with mineral bands.
When we come to the magnificent chamber that marks the midpoint of our adventure, the one I’ve been excited to show them, their faces light up.
A shallow stream cuts across the ground, glinting in our headlamps.
Stalagmites rise from the ground in irregular clusters, some as thin as candles, others thick and knotted, reaching for stalactites that have formed above, like fangs in the mouth of a beast.
“This is…” Frank trails off. “Hell, I don’t even have the right words to describe it.”
“It’s perfection created from beautiful imperfections,” Ellie says. “Mother Nature’s never-ending sculpture, like a hidden cathedral carved by water and time that most people will never see.”
“I love the way you see things through your artist’s eyes.” Knowing she’s all about how things feel, I have to ask, “How does it feel to you?”
She takes a deep breath, looking around thoughtfully, and says, “Surreal. What about you?” Ellie asks.
“It feels sacred, and I feel humbled,” I say, reaching for her gloved hand. “As you said, nature and time created this magnificence. That puts our existence into perspective.”
“Yeah,” she says softly. “It does.”
“Christ, you two. Can you wax poetic someplace else?” Frank lowers himself to sit on a flat rock, catching his breath.
“No more of that shit,” I joke, and Ellie laughs. I shrug off my backpack and hand them water bottles.
Frank takes a long swig and says, “So how was Nuisance when you dropped him off at the shelter this morning?”
“You mean Barney?” Ellie says as she sits beside him. “I was wondering when you were going to ask about him.”
He grunts and takes another drink. “Just making small talk.”
“Uh-huh,” she says. “Barney was fine, but I was thinking, wouldn’t it be nice to have him around more? He needs a home, and you could use the company.”
Frank shakes his head. “Got enough headaches without a mutt messing up my house.”
“He seems to really like you, Frank,” I say as I lower myself beside Ellie.
Frank’s eyes narrow. “Just because my daughter’s falling for Trouble doesn’t mean I will.”
“Dad.” Ellie shakes her head.
“It’s okay, El. Want to feel something cool?”
“Hey now,” Frank warns. “I’m sitting right here.”
“Dad, what has gotten into you?”
Frank chuckles.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, Frank. Let’s turn off our headlamps for a minute.”
We turn them off, and darkness envelops us. Ellie grabs my leg, whispering, “It’s so dark.”
I put my arm around her, pulling her closer. “Remember how beautiful it was with our lights on. It’s just as beautiful now, only it’s more peaceful.”
It’s so quiet, it amplifies our breathing, the sounds of Frank worrying his hands, and the trickle of the stream.
“You know…” Frank’s gruff voice breaks the silence. “I used to think people who did this were crazy, which is one reason I wanted to do it.”
“And now?” I ask.
“Now I think they’re chasing this,” he says a little wistfully. “Can’t find this aboveground.”
“I can,” Ellie whispers, and rests her head on my shoulder.
Frank turns on his headlamp, blinding us.
“Dad!” Ellie yells, and buries her face in my neck.
He grins. “Just making sure you’re not taking advantage of our tour guide.”
“I think the cave air is getting to you,” Ellie says, and then she laughs.
By the time we make it back to the pit, Frank’s moving slower. I hook up the foot loop and the ascenders and send Ellie up first. She moves adeptly and makes it over the rim without issue. She smiles down at us and says, “Okay, send Dad up.”
Frank is flexing his gloved hands. “Think I might’ve overestimated these old joints. They’re stiff as boards.”
“That’s not a problem. We’ll go up together.
” I quickly run through our options and come up with a plan to get him out of the pit.
It’ll be a bit complicated to pull off, but I’m not about to let them down.
“You’ll have to put both feet into one foot loop.
Do you remember how to use the foot loops? ”
He presses his lips together, his brows slanted. “I told you my brain is fine, but we didn’t practice with only one loop.”
“We’re improvising. I need to work your ascender and mine, and that’ll be easier if you’ve got both feet in one loop.
Here’s how it’ll work. I’ll slide the ascender that’s connected to the loop as high up on your rope as I can.
That will pull your legs up, so you’ll need to move with it and bend your knees, tucking your legs.
Then you’ll extend your legs, which will propel you higher on the rope.
I’ll slide the ascender again, and we’ll continue doing that until we reach the top. Then I’ll help you out of the pit.”
Ellie peers over the ledge as I connect the equipment and says, “Are you sure this is safe? You have to slide your ascenders, too, to stay even with him.”
“It’s tricky, but I’ve got it. Don’t worry. He’ll be secure on the rope, and if this proves too difficult, I’ll pull him up if I have to.”
“Don’t you dare let me fall, Braden,” Frank warns, his hands shaking, from the cold or nerves I can’t be sure, but my gut tells me it’s both.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” I finish connecting the lines, and as I help him step into the loop, I try to lighten his mood. “Unless something grabs your leg. Then you’re on your own.”
Frank barks out a laugh, and Ellie grins down at me gratefully, her headlamp illuminating the pit.
My heart thunders as we start our ascent.
I reach over, trying not to pull on Frank’s rope as I take hold of his ascender.
“Frank, lift your legs to take some of the weight off.” He does, and I slide the ascender up.
“Good. Now extend your legs and let the loop take the weight.” He does, and I say, “Perfect.”
He exhales through his teeth. “One down, six thousand to go.”
“Not quite that far.” Bracing on my own rope, I ascend beside him, then take hold of his ascender again. “Okay, Frank, lift both knees up.” I push his ascender higher, struggling not to swing his rope or mine. “Good, now straighten. Let the rope do the work.”
He grunts, his shoulders shaking, his boots scraping against the rock as he extends his legs, rising high with the effort.
“That’s it,” I say, keeping my voice calm and steady. “You’re moving smoothly. You’ve got this.” I match the effort on my own rope, ascending to his level.
“You tell anyone about this, I’ll make you regret it,” Frank threatens between heavy breaths as I reach for his ascender.
“Why would I say anything that’d make me look bad?” I shoot back as we go through the motions again. “I should’ve thought to bring you heated gloves. That’s on me.”
He lets out a strangled grunt that’s as much pain as pride, and extends his legs, moving up the rope.
“You’re almost halfway, Dad!” Ellie calls down. “You’re doing great!”
“Tell her,” Frank pants out, “to save the applause until I survive this.”
“She heard you,” I say, reaching for his ascender again. “Knees up.”
He does, and we continue with the same rhythm, alternating like fine-tuned gears. Each push drives him higher; each pause lets me ascend to stay even.
When he falters, I reach across, steadying the back of his harness with one hand. “You’re locked in, Frank. You can’t fall.”
“I know,” he mutters. “I just don’t want to make your job harder.”
“Too late for that,” I tease, and then I slide his ascender higher. “Now stand. Almost there. Two more pushes.”
“I’m fresh out of pushes,” Frank says, panting.
“Then fake it,” I say, leaving no room for negotiation, knowing we’ve got to use his adrenaline while he’s got it. I feel Ellie’s eyes on me, but my attention remains on getting her father out safely. “Lift your knees, Frank.”
Teeth clenched, breath rough, he bends his knees as I slide his ascender up. “Excellent. Now push, Frank,” I say, and quickly ascend my rope as he groans through the exertion of pushing his feet down.
“Good, now one last time. You’ve got this, Frank.”
The death stare he gives me would be comical if I weren’t cursing myself for planning too big an outing for him.
“Buck up, Dad,” Ellie hollers from above. “There’s nothing you can’t do.”
That lights a fire under his ego, and as I slide the ascender up his rope, he pulls his trembling legs up.
“Now give it all you’ve got,” I say.
Frank’s face contorts as he straightens his legs, rising closer to the rim of the pit.
“Yes!” Ellie hollers.
“I knew you had it in you,” I say to Frank as I ascend my rope, and then I haul myself out of the pit, heart pounding, and unhook my equipment.
Ellie gives me a worried look. “What now?”
“Now I get him out.” I lie on my stomach and reach over the edge.
“Frank, I’m going to pull you out of there, but you have to use your toes for leverage on the wall and push up as I pull.
Once your arms are over the edge, you need to use everything you have to help me get you over. Now give me your hand.”
“Hand’s worthless,” he snarls.
“It’s not worthless.” I slide my hand past his and grip his forearm. “Grab hold of my forearm, hold as tight as you can, and use those legs. Ready?”
“Yup. Let’s do this.”
I grip the edge of the pit with one hand, pulling him up with the other. He groans and uses his feet, pushing up as I pull him over the edge, then grab his chest harness and haul him the rest of the way over.
Frank drags himself away from the edge and rolls onto his back, panting. “If this doesn’t prove I’ve still got some adventure left in me, nothing will.”
“Maybe this should be a warning that you’re trying to do too much,” Ellie suggests.
Frank scoffs. “Your old man’s not ready for the rocking chair yet, darlin’.”
“El, this one’s on me,” I say. “I shouldn’t have planned such a big trip.”
“That’s a load of crap,” Frank snaps. “My heart’s still beating. It’s just my fingers giving me trouble.” He sits up and pats Ellie’s hand. “You need to stop worrying. I may not be a strapping young man like Seth anymore, but I’m still kicking.”
“I know you are, Dad, but—”
“You hear me out, Taylor. It’s been a long time since you and I went on an adventure together. My hands might complain, but that’s a small price to pay for the smiles I earned today from the daughter who’s always yanking my chain. I wouldn’t trade this adventure for anything.”
Ellie’s smile is slightly reluctant but wholly real. “I’m glad we did this, too. But buttering me up is not going to stop me from yanking your chain.”
Frank and I laugh.
As he starts talking about our future adventures and bucket lists, Ellie rolls her eyes and Frank ups the ante, musing about underwater caving and skydiving.
Ellie’s laughter echoes around us, and I know Frank’s right.
The risk, the pain, and the worry are all worth it. These are the moments that matter.
If there’s a better way to measure a life than this, I haven’t found it.