Chapter 6
Lacey
I t’s official. I hate first dates.
It took me twenty years to figure that out, I know , but I’d never really been asked out on a date before now—high school me would just hook up with guys running in the same social circle as I did, no first date involved.
And it’s not Aaron’s fault. He’s been a perfect gentleman so far. He’s opened every door for me, offered to pay for my coffee, and he’s been giving me his undivided attention for a half hour now.
So why do I hate dating so much?
Blame it on the question he just asked.
“Why don’t you tell me about yourself?”
Sounds simple enough, right?
The problem is I have no idea where to start.
I chuckle. “Are we talking favorite color or tragic backstory? Both can be arranged, but I might need something stronger than coffee for option number two.”
He laughs. “That bad, huh? Now I just have to know.”
“Long story short, my parents got a divorce when I was young. I was raised by my mom and stepdad, while my biological father had kids with someone else. I’ve always been close with him and my half-siblings in spite of my mom trying her hardest to turn me against them. When I turned eighteen, my biological father died in a car crash. My siblings had no one to take care of them. Just me. So, I took them in and became the legal guardian to two kids right out of high school.”
His eyes widen, the shock oozing out of him telling me he didn’t expect me to be responsible for one kid, let alone two .
“So, you’re practically a parent, then?” he asks.
I can’t seem to decipher the look on his face. Is he totally freaked out? I wouldn’t blame him if he were. I don’t know many college sophomores who would be willing to date a single mom.
“Sort of, yeah. Granted, they’re sixteen and twelve, so it’s not like I’m going around changing diapers every half hour or anything. I don’t know what I would’ve done if they’d been infants. You know, with all the crying and fussing and…” I manage to stop my rambling, TJ’s advice rushing back into my mind.
3, 2, 1.
“Anyway, that’s my story. What’s yours?”
He doesn’t seem like he’s ready to move past my confession just yet, a thousand questions lingering in his eyes. “Wait… so you gave up your entire life for your siblings?”
“I guess I did,” I confirm.
He doesn’t speak for a short moment. It’s as though he’s trying to put his feelings into words.
“You’re incredible” is all he says.
“What?” I can’t hide my surprise.
“It takes an incredibly courageous person to step up like that. Your parents did a hell of a job raising you.”
His praise stings a little. I know it might look like I’m some sort of altruist for taking care of Sierra and Oli, but just because I made the right decision about them doesn’t mean I lived a life Mother Teresa would approve of.
“If I’m being honest, I was a bit of a spoiled brat growing up. I was the popular girl, captain of the cheerleading team, and my friends were professional mean girls. I wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination.”
I went from a rich, nasty little bitch to a struggling college student with five dollars to her name.
Becoming a caregiver for my siblings while dirt-poor humbled the hell out of me, but it took my dad’s death, a dose of reality, and a truckload of self-work in order for me to realize I’d been living in a privilege bubble my whole life.
We forget about the little things when confronted with what matters the most. Nothing is as important as the people you love, something we only realize once those same people are gone.
“Still. In the end, you did the right thing.”
I force a smile. “What about you? You got a tragic backstory for me?”
“Oh, man. Do you want the long or short version?”
“The long version, obviously.”
He smiles. “Just remember you asked for it.”
I never thought I’d say this, but…
I regret asking for the long version.
TJ did mention it never hurt to be a good listener on a date, but Aaron’s been dominating the conversation for over forty minutes. I haven’t been able to get a word in, except for a few “ Oh, reallys? ” every now and then.
“That’s when my mom and her fiancé decided to stay in England. The two years I studied abroad were a blast, but I missed my friends and my dad’s side of the family, which is why I moved back home,” he explains.
God, I hate myself for saying this.
But he reminds me a little bit of me.
The girl I used to be.
A rich kid who’s out of touch with reality.
His mom married a successful businessman when he was five, and even though his family didn’t come from money initially, he grew up traveling with his mom and her husband.
Then there’s his dad, who owns a women’s clothing brand.
“Shit, am I hogging the conversation?” he asks ten minutes later.
At least he’s self-aware.
I’m being too harsh, aren’t I? He just got carried away telling me his story. And he did ask me about myself earlier.
Still, I can’t help but wonder if this is what dating is always like. Are we just expected to sit there in silence? To listen for an hour without ever really being part of the conversation?
“Oh, no, not at all,” I say to be polite.
He takes it as a sign to keep going.
He talks about his signed baseball collection for another twenty minutes, and then he excuses himself to the bathroom. TJ’s voice pops into my head from the moment Aaron walks away.
Watch out for the bathroom trick.
I didn’t even know that was a thing until TJ told me some people use it to bail before the check comes—usually, this applies to dinner dates more than coffee dates.
They say they have to use the bathroom but go straight for the exit when you’re not looking. And it’s not always to get out of paying. Sometimes it’s because the date is going so horribly they’re desperate to leave.
My phone ringing in my pocket interrupts my overthinking, and I grab it to check the caller.
It’s my brother’s best friend’s mom.
I dropped both Oli and Sierra off at their friends’ places for the afternoon, but not without telling their friends’ parents to call me if anything happened.
Damn it, Oliver.
What’d you do now ?
“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” I scold my brother from the driver’s seat.
I’m not going to lie, when I was in high school, I did some stupid things in the name of impressing my friends, and Oli’s always been an impulsive kid, but voluntarily eating some wild mushrooms growing off a tree?
Now, that’s a whole other level of stupid.
I glance in the rearview mirror. Oli’s lying on his side in the back seat of my car, clutching his stomach as though his organs are about to burst out of his body.
The unbearable stomach pain started just minutes after he ingested the mushrooms, and now, here we are, on our way to the emergency room after I bailed on my date with Aaron to go pick up my two-brain-cells brother.
He must think I made the whole thing up. Little does he know Oliver really is that dumb . At least as far as his friends are concerned.
“Dude, why is that skunk looking at me?”
And now he’s hallucinating.
“She’s so fucking rude, bro. Stop staring at me!” he yells.
“It’s fine, Oli. You’re hallucinating.”
He starts punching the air. “I’m telling you that bitch wants to fight me.”
To say I’m driving with a lead foot would be an understatement. I’ve never been so worried about him in my life. And I’m not the only one.
His best friend’s mother looked like she was going to sob when I got to her house. The poor woman felt horribly guilty. She sent the boys out into the backyard, thinking she’d get started on dinner while they hung out. She took her eyes off them for five minutes, tops, and the next thing she knew, Oliver was crying out in pain and vomiting into a bush.
“You better pray they can fix it,” I scold him, my heart climbing up my throat.
“I think I’m going to puke,” he whimpers.
“Use your bag,” I remind him. I gave him an old shopping bag I had lying around in my car.
I hope he does throw up. He only threw up once. It would probably be better if he got everything out of his system.
We’re rushing into the emergency room just five minutes later. We’ve barely reached the front desk when Oli starts vomiting again.
The woman at the reception bounds out of her seat and rounds the counter. “What’s wrong with him?”
I explain it all to her, the words blurring together as I hold my brother up, keeping him from collapsing. They immediately direct us to a nearby room to check his vitals.
I dropped him off at Steven’s house specifically so that I would know he was safe while I was out with Aaron.
I can’t take my eyes off him for a second, can I?
“You had to leave because your brother ate what?” TJ’s laughter drowns out his question, the sound making my teeth clench.
That’s what I get for confiding in him.
To be fair, he asked me how the date went, and I thought he might have some helpful insight as to why I haven’t heard a peep from Aaron all week.
I obviously forgot who I was dealing with.
“Poisonous mushrooms. He’s fine now, thanks for asking .”
TJ bites down on his bottom lip, trying—and failing—to contain his laughter. “I’m sorry, I guess I thought you’d be the one fucking it up. Not your brother.”
Did I fuck things up?
I’m not sure.
It’s not like I was having the time of my life with Aaron. I actually felt a little bored listening to him drone on and on, but I told myself that’s a pretty normal phenomenon for a first date.
First dates are for scratching the surface, telling the other a few fun facts about yourself. It takes much longer for a real connection to take root. And when it comes down to it, that’s what I crave most of all.
A connection.
The kind Dia and Aveena have with their men.
How much can I really tell about the possibility of forming a connection from one date?
I was willing to give it another shot, which is why I texted Aaron two days after they pumped my brother full of meds and I was allowed to take him home.
Lacey
I’m so sorry I had to leave. Thanks for the other day. I had a great time.
He left me on read.
“Did you text him after?” TJ asks as we amble toward Theo’s place together.
We were supposed to have our calculus lesson at his house, but my car’s dashboard is covered in check engine lights, so I’m trying my best to keep my driving to a minimum. TJ suggested that we use Theo’s place while he and his roommates are in class. It’s right on campus.
“Yup. He never replied,” I say as TJ inserts the key into the lock and opens the front door. I didn’t know he still had a key to the party house. But then again, he and the guys are close enough that they wouldn’t worry about him keeping it.
“Are you sure it’s okay we’re having our lesson here?” I ask.
“Yeah, Theo’s cool with it.” TJ leads the way into the kitchen. “You should text Aaron again. Maybe he forgot to reply.”
I laugh at that.
That is such a boy thing to say.
“Bullshit. He’s just not into me.”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all those years I’ve spent being obsessed with Theo, it’s that when a guy wants you, you’ll know. I promised myself I’d never chase anyone who doesn’t care ever again.
TJ drops his backpack on the coffee table in the living room. “If you ask me, it’s just as well. Aaron’s not right for you.”
I drop onto the couch pushed against the far wall. “Why’s that?”
I unzip my bag and shove a hand inside, searching for my math textbook. I’ve just found it when TJ drops next to me on the couch. He’s so close our thighs are touching.
“Does Aaron look like the type of guy who eats you out until your legs start shaking?”
My brain short-circuits.
I stare at TJ, who’s flipping through the pages of his own textbook, cool as a cucumber.
Only then does he notice the look on my face, his lips twitching into a smile. “Oh, come on. Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it.”
Does he mean… have I thought about him and I…?
“You and Aaron. What it would look like.”
Right, that’s what he meant.
“Aaron’s such a proper, good little boy there’s no way he could get you off. You need someone who can ruffle your feathers. And it’s been so long for you it wouldn’t hurt if the next guy taught you a thing or two.”
I clear my throat, feigning indifference. “What makes you so sure it’s been a long time?”
He smirks, his know-it-all attitude grinding my gears. “I’m guessing at least six months, or you wouldn’t be this uptight.”
I swallow hard, fidgeting with my textbook.
Then I look up to see his face fall.
“Holy shit,” he whispers.
“What?”
“It’s been longer, hasn’t it?” he deduces.
My cheeks start to heat. “Of course not.”
TJ drops the textbook at his side. “Don’t lie to me, Mattson. You’re fucking blushing.”
I clear my throat. “Can we just get back to it?”
“A year?” he says quietly, as though the mere thought of going that long without any action is blasphemous.
“Will you drop it?” I fume, my pulse increasing when he scoots even closer to me on the couch.
“Fuck me. It’s been more than a year?”
He’s not going to let it go, is he?
“Lacey…” My name on his lips just might be the most disarming sound I’ve ever heard. It makes me want to spill all of my darkest, deepest secrets to him.
“Fine. But if you give me any shit for it whatsoever, this thing we’re doing is done, you got me? You can forget about me helping you stay on the team, and I’ll never?—”
“I promise,” he gives in quickly.
I might regret this .
“A year and a half.”
It’s not that big of a deal. To me, at least. But to him? You’d think I just told him his entire family’s been put on death row.
“How?” is all he says.
“What?”
“Just… fucking how ?” he repeats, dark eyes assessing me like I’m some sort of anomaly science should study further. “Look at you. You’re so…”
“I’m so what?”
He hesitates for a little while.
“So—”
The front door opening interrupts him.
“Aaron! Stop! We’re not even inside,” a high-pitched voice squeals.
“Who cares?” a deep voice, probably Aaron’s, answers.
What sounds like passionate kissing travels through the house. TJ and I make eye contact, and I know we share the exact same train of thought.
Well, this is awkward .
TJ clears his throat to alert Aaron and his girl of our presence and then opens and shuts the textbook in his hands as loudly as he can. There’s a wall between the entrance and the living room, so they can’t see us.
That seems to do the trick because the kissing stops on cue.
“I thought no one was home,” I hear Aaron whisper.
He appears in the doorway just seconds later, Heather standing behind him with smeared lipstick and disheveled hair.
Aaron’s eyes find me in an instant, but his brain seems to need a few minutes to catch up because his expression changes drastically once he realizes what’s happening.
The girl he went on a date with and then ghosted just heard him making out with the girl he chose over her.
We’re not dating or anything, so he doesn’t owe me an explanation, but man, I can’t remember the last time I felt this disappointed.
He manages to get a grip long enough to say, “Lacey? What are you…” His focus drifts to TJ sitting next to me. “TJ?”
I don’t miss the venom in his voice when he says TJ’s name.
“We’re just?—”
“She’s helping me study,” TJ cuts me off.
There’s a long pause.
Then he adds, “My girl’s nice like that.”
His what now?
I don’t even get a chance to protest. The next thing I know, TJ’s arm is wrapped around my shoulders, and he’s clutched my body to his. I only realize what he’s doing when his large hand drops to my thigh and gives my leg a squeeze.
Color spills from Aaron’s face when he takes in the scene, and I know I’m going to hell for this, but damn if this isn’t the most satisfying view of my entire life.
“Y-You’re dating?” Aaron spits out.
TJ flashes a cocky smile. “You don’t mind, right? You only went out one time.”
I’m going to kill him later.
Right before I thank him.
“I… Of course not.” Aaron offers us a tight smile. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, man.” TJ pulls me closer to kiss the side of my head, his lips pressing against my temple for a fleeting moment.
“I didn’t know you and Heather were dating. You make such a cute couple,” I chime.
That was unnecessary. What can I say? I’m petty.
“Oh, we’re not…” Aaron’s words trail off. “We haven’t…” I notice Heather waiting for his answer with bated breath. “It’s not like that.”
I don’t blame him. He’s fresh meat around here. He’s got girls throwing themselves at him left and right. Of course he’d want to play the field before committing to someone.
Only he didn’t have to ghost me.
Just like he didn’t have to pursue me in the first place if he wasn’t interested.
Heather is staring daggers at him now, and I realize she thought otherwise. Or maybe she knew where they stood from the start, but she was hoping it would become more.
“Anyway, we’re just gonna…” Aaron leads the way to the staircase.
He and Heather hurry up the stairs, and his bedroom door closes in the distance. My common sense comes rushing back, shoving the jealous girl in control of my body into a cage I’ll never let her escape again.
“What the hell did you do?” I go off on TJ.
“What’s it look like? I helped you save face.”
“No one’s going to fall for it, you know?”
“Why not?”
“Gee, I don’t know. Maybe because you’ve never had a serious relationship in your life.”
In the year and a half I’ve known this guy, I’ve never seen him commit to anyone. It’s common knowledge that jocks aren’t the relationship type. Safe to say Mathias Jacobs is no exception.
He shrugs. “So? We’ll just say we’re dating casually.”
That’s when it hits me.
We’re still cuddling. We haven’t moved. I try to wiggle out of his embrace, but he doesn’t budge, watching me struggle to untangle his arm from my shoulders with a smirk on his face.
“How am I going to find someone if everyone thinks we’re dating?”
He shrugs. “Men want what they can’t have. You’ll either have Aaron’s sorry ass crawling back to you, or you’ll attract someone better. It’s a win-win situation.”
TJ might be bonkers to think this is going to help me find the connection I’m craving, but one thing is certain.
Whatever twisted game he’s playing…
It’s one we can’t afford to lose.