17. JOEY
JOEY
I never saw myself as a liar, but I told lies to protect those around me, knowing the truth would tear them apart. There was no way in hell I could look Antonio in the eye and tell him who I was when he went to sleep. I’d never sought validation before, but I wanted it from him—a kid I was starting to think of as my own, our bond growing by the day. It felt like looking at a younger version of myself, and I wasn’t gonna tell him that I’d joined the Mafia, committed crimes without a second thought, and became so numb to it that I couldn’t even recognize myself and The Shark as the same person.
At eighteen, after a childhood full of trauma, and finally finding a family, whether they were in the Mafia or not, it was family. The only family I had. The only one I knew. They told me there was one way in and one way out. That if I wanted to become a made man, I could never go back. I still felt the Virgin Mary burn in my palms, a blood pact, an oath. I was reborn. At the time, it felt like the only thing I wanted.
Now, seventeen years later, sitting here with Antonio, I wasn’t so sure I’d make the same choice if I could go back. But that was okay. I was a man, and a man had to live with his choices. But I would protect Antonio. I could rewrite my wrongs with him.
When Antonio and I walked through the front door after playing baseball at the park, the sound of Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock greeted us, spinning on the record player perched on the kitchen counter. Adriana stood at the stove, stirring a pot of sauce while swaying to the beat. She sang along, her voice light and carefree, twirling between stirs. The scent of simmering pasta sauce filled the air, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was beautiful like this.
Antonio caught my gaze and snickered. I leaned against the doorframe, smirking at both of them before calling out, “Didn’t know dinner came with a show.”
Adriana spun on her heels, startled, the wooden spoon clutched in her hand like a weapon. Her wide eyes met mine, and her cheeks turned pink. “Joey!” she exclaimed as Antonio stifled a laugh beside me.
I grinned, folding my arms over my chest. “Don’t stop now. I think you were just getting to the best part of the whole performance.” Truth be told, I just enjoyed watching her dance—the way she let herself go without a care in the world. How her hips swayed. My hands were nearly ready to leap forward to grab them.
“I thought I locked the door!” she said, her blush deepening.
I shrugged. “Guess you’re starting to get comfortable. Don’t worry—I don’t mind surprise performances.”
Antonio tossed his baseball glove onto the coffee table, still grinning. “Mom sings Elvis every time she cooks.”
“Antonio!” Adriana groaned, her eyes darting toward him. “You weren’t supposed to tell anyone that!”
I laughed, shaking my head. She held her hands over her beet-red cheeks, playing bashful. But I loved every second of this. “Don’t be too hard on the kid. I think it’s cute. And for the record, you’ve got a great voice.”
She bit her lip, too flustered to respond, which only widened my grin.
“So, Joey, are you staying for dinner?” Antonio asked.
Adriana’s eyes snapped toward him. “Antonio! Joey probably has plans?—”
I cut her off, smirking. “Actually, I don’t. If the chef doesn’t mind, I’d love to stay.”
Adriana sighed. “Fine. But don’t expect me to dance while you eat.” She tried to stifle the smile threatening to show. But I could see it. Even if it were faint. Even if I had to work harder to get a real smile from her. That was okay.
“No promises,” I teased. “I might start requesting encores.”
She turned back to the stove, but I caught the faint smile she was still trying to hide. “Sit down before I change my mind,” she muttered.
Antonio practically flew to the table, pulling out a chair. “You’re gonna love Ma’s meatballs and sauce, Joey.”
As I sat down beside him, I glanced back at Adriana and smiled. “I think I already love everything that goes on in this kitchen.” She shook her head, her cheeks pink, but we both knew what I meant. I wanted to get lost in her, and there was no use in hiding it.
Adriana placed our plates in front of us, the hint of a smile still lingering. I looked at her and said quietly, “It’s good to see you like this. Happy. Carefree. Smiling. I’m liking the new version of you.”
She didn’t say a word, but she didn’t try to hide her smile this time, either. So that was a win enough for me.
The three of us sat around the small, cozy kitchen table; plates piled high with meatballs and the best homemade pasta sauce I’d ever tasted. A single candle flickered between us. My attention was fixed on Adriana, though I tried to keep it subtle while Antonio carried most of the conversation. She wasn’t immune to my gaze, either—I caught her stealing glances at me. Her unsuccessful attempts to suppress a smile didn’t go unnoticed, either.
“And then Joey told Coach Artie I should bat third when I get on the team, because I’m better at hitting fastballs than curveballs,” Antonio explained with a mouth full of food.
“Oh, did he now?”
I smirked, leaning back. “Hey, I just call it like I see it. The kid’s got a good arm. All that practice delivering newspapers must’ve paid off.”
Antonio beamed. “And it worked, Ma! I hit a double—and Joey said I could’ve gone for a triple if I pushed harder.”
“I’m proud of you, Antonio.”
“Every great player started somewhere,” I said, nudging his arm with a grin. “We’ve got the next DiMaggio sitting right here.”
Adriana turned back to me, a playful glint in her eye. “So, what are you now—his agent?”
I chuckled. “Nah, just his biggest cheerleader. But I’m telling you, the kid’s got potential.”
“See, Ma? Joey knows baseball!” Antonio said eagerly, glancing at her. She shook her head with a smile, avoiding my gaze—but I wasn’t letting her off the hook that easily.
“This sauce and these meatballs?” I said, taking another bite. “Easily the best I’ve ever had.”
“I told you, Joey!”
Adriana’s cheeks turned pink again as she waved off the compliment. “Oh, it’s nothing special. Maybe you two just worked up an appetite.”
“Nah,” I said, meeting her eyes. “This is one of those meals you remember and think about eating again. It’s that good, Adriana. I’m a tough critic, trust me.”
“You should come over for dinner more often, Joey! ”
Adriana gave Antonio a mock-stern look. “Only if he brings dessert next time.”
I laughed. “Done. I know just the spot for the best cannolis in all of Staten Island.” Her lips curved into a reluctant smile.
After dinner, Antonio headed to his room to prepare for school the next day. Adriana walked me to my car parked in her carport, her arms folded across her chest. She stood close—so close that I could’ve reached out, grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her against me. Every instinct in me screamed to do just that, but I held back.
“Thanks for spending so much time with Antonio,” she began, “and for talking to Coach Artie. He’s been happier lately with you around.” She shifted her weight anxiously.
I slid my hands into my pockets to keep myself grounded. “You’ve got a great boy, Adriana. I’m lucky you’ve let me spend time with him. It’s been good for me, too.”
Her lips curved into a small smile. “I appreciate it, but you don’t have to go out of your way like this. I know you’re a busy man.”
My gaze locked on hers, and my voice dropped low. “I’m not too busy for you two.”
Her weight shifted again. “Why? What are you getting out of this? I’m not going to sleep with you.”
I stepped closer, the space between us shrinking. “Not everything has to be about getting something. If you think I’m that kind of guy, you’re wrong. I don’t want anything from you.”
Her eyes flicked up to meet mine, confusion and hesitation battling in their depths. “I don’t know what to think.”
I moved in close enough to brush her arm with my fingers. “Then stop overthinking,” I said. “You’re allowed to let someone in. Whatever happened before me is over now.”
She looked up at me, her guard still up, but I could see beneath it. Even if it were just a peek. She wanted to let me in.
“What if something goes wrong?” she whispered .
I smiled, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “What if nothing does? You’ll never know unless you give it a chance.”
Her breathing hitched, her hands curling against her sides. “Joey…”
“You’ve been through hell, but you still wake up every day and do everything you can for your son. That’s admirable. You deserve to let someone take care of you now, Adriana.” I leaned closer, my voice dropping lower. “Tell me to back off, and I will. But I don’t think you want that.”
Her breath caught as her gaze softened. “No, I don’t want that.”
That was all I needed. I closed the distance between us, my hands finding her waist as I pulled her closer. Her palms pressed against my chest, but not to push me away. “Then stop fighting against this,” I murmured. “Just let it happen. Whatever happens, happens.”
I dipped my head, ready to claim her lips, but she stepped back, her arms wrapping around herself like armor.
“Joey, I can’t,” she said, shaking her head. Her voice wavered as her eyes darted away. “You're in a relationship. I can’t be the other woman.”
I sighed and nodded, creating distance between us. How could I forget? Renee .
Her gaze flicked toward me briefly, her voice soft. “Goodnight, Joey.”
I studied her for a moment longer before getting into my car. “Goodnight, Adriana,” I said.
As I drove away, I saw her lingering on the porch, her silhouette framed by the flickering carpool light. My grip on the wheel tightened. I’d wait as long as it took. She was meant for me. And I promised myself in that moment I’d do whatever it took for her to be mine.
Years ago, I’d asked Paul how he knew Florence was the one for him. A pretty girl from a good family ending up with Paul? Paul was a good guy. My best friend. My brother. But what he did, what we did when the city went to sleep, wasn’t understood by many—only those of us who were wrapped up in the streets. He told me, “When you know, you know.” I thought he was full of shit. I figured Florence must have been the greatest lay of his life.
But standing across from Adriana, I got it. I knew exactly what Paul meant. Because I didn’t know shit about love, but suddenly, I wanted to learn. I wanted to be everything Adriana wanted, to figure out how to break through all the walls we had between us. But I had no damn idea how to make it happen yet.
What the hell was I thinking? This was dangerous. The kind of thing that could ruin everything I’d built, every connection I had. But damn, the way she looked at me, the way she made me feel. Her and that kid. It was like nothing else mattered.