9. Aria
9
ARIA
W as there a world record for hiding in bed? If so, I was determined to break it on Saturday morning. Normally, I would have been up with the sun, determined to enjoy every last minute of the trip. It was another gorgeous day, with sunshine reflecting off the snow and filling my room with light. I wanted to be out there.
Some things were more important. Like avoiding Miles. What the hell had I been thinking? One minute, he had landed the plane, and I was fighting to get a handle on the adrenaline still coursing through my veins. The next?
I didn’t want to think about what happened next. Throwing the blanket over my head didn’t help me hide from the memory of how I had humped him like some deranged, horny teenager. The word embarrassed didn’t begin to describe the way my soul withered every time I recalled the taste of his lips and the deep, throaty groans that had turned my pussy into a throbbing, wet mess.
And for him.
For him!
Not only my stepbrother but someone I didn’t trust. I had lost sight of that somewhere along the way. It had to be the adrenaline rush. The danger. I was out of my mind with it by the time we landed. All I knew was I wanted to do that again.
And then I basically lost my mind and decided it would be a good idea to disgrace myself.
By the sounds of it, most of the house was awake. There was noise coming from the kitchen—pots and pans, the clanking of silverware. The girls would have breakfast ready soon, and I would only look suspicious if I didn’t join everybody when it came time to eat. I was hungry as hell, too, and could’ve used an entire pot of coffee after spending most of the night tossing and turning, berating myself, regretting how easy it was to forget what I knew to be true.
I could not trust Miles. He had never bothered taking back those shitty comments he first made at the penthouse. I couldn’t believe he didn’t mean them any more than I believed he hadn’t meant to look at me with so much contempt all those times I had noticed him watching me.
I read once that women tended to ignore their instincts and talk themselves out of following their gut. We liked to make excuses for people’s bad behavior and, in some cases, would end up regretting it.
I refused to be one of those people.
That didn’t mean it would be easy to look him in the eye now that he knew what my boobs felt like and how little it took to turn me into a mindless idiot searching for an orgasm.
Christ, how embarrassing.
I had done it to myself when I knew better. There was no escaping him either, here or back home. Could I not have controlled my raging hormones for a little while longer? It would’ve been smarter to come back here and take care of myself. Alone. In bed. I wouldn’t have to dread showing my face downstairs.
“Hey! You better get down here and eat before it’s all gone!” I would’ve known my sister’s strident voice anywhere. Knowing she would only come in and physically drag me from the room, I got up, pulled on a robe, ran a brush through my hair, and eased open the door.
What had been a dull roar became a much louder one. That was one thing about the cabin. There wasn’t much to dampen sound waves with so many hard surfaces and so much space.
Creeping up to the railing, I looked down to find everybody gathering. The air smelled of coffee and bacon. What a shame I was too busy hating myself to look forward to eating.
“There you are!” Valentina wore a worried, motherly look when she spotted me. “Get your ass down here or risk Lucian eating everything.”
“It’s only my second helping,” he retorted around a mouthful of food.
Something was missing. No. Somebody. I didn’t want to come straight out and ask where Miles was for fear of making it look obvious how much I cared. “Tell me you at least left some coffee,” I warned on my way down the stairs.
There was no sign of him anywhere.
“I just made a second pot, but the espresso maker is on too.” Rose nodded toward the machines as she sat with a loaded plate.
“Thanks.” There were still two mugs sitting on the counter, one of which I assumed was supposed to be mine. I called out, “Who decided today would be a good day to quit caffeine?”
“Oh, that was supposed to be for Miles,” Sienna explained, sitting at the breakfast bar and munching a piece of bacon. “But he texted Noah saying he had to go back to the city. Something about looking at an apartment at the last minute. He said he might stay down there to catch up on some work.”
“Getting his offices set up,” Noah finished explaining.
That should’ve been a relief. I didn’t have to spend the rest of the weekend avoiding him, reliving every stupid mistake I made last night every time I looked at him. I could have the weekend I’d been looking forward to all this time without complications.
What a joke. The complication was already there in the form of memories vivid enough to make my pussy moisten even now as I plated my breakfast.
One thing was for sure. Once I returned to town, I had to talk to him as soon as I could get him alone. I sure as hell couldn’t go on like this forever.
“What do you think?”
I looked away from the window, pulling myself back from the daydream I was drowning in as Mom swept into the room wearing a dark blue gown with a full skirt and intricate beadwork across the bodice. For somebody against asking Ari for help finding something for the gala, she sure seemed to be enjoying herself now.
I loved seeing her looking so confident that she strode across her bedroom, admiring her approach in the full-length mirror. “You look incredible,” I told her. “I think that might be the one.”
She tapped her chin with one finger, turning to look at herself from all angles. “I don’t know. There are others to choose from. I don’t want to pick the first one without trying the rest.”
“Good point.” I tried to inject a little enthusiasm into my voice, but I had a feeling it wasn’t enough.
Turning away from the mirror, she focused on me. “What’s wrong? You seem off.”
Dammit. The last thing I needed was for anyone suspecting a problem and connecting it to Miles. And wasn’t that funny, considering how prior to Friday night, I would have gladly admitted I was concerned about him? Then I had to go and make out with him in a fucking Cessna, making it a bad idea for anybody to pay close attention to the way we interacted unless I felt like getting my ass chewed by my parents. They were big on the whole stepbrother angle. Technically, it wasn’t wrong, but there were still implications I didn’t feel like getting into.
“Long weekend, lots of skiing. I tired myself out.”
“It’s just a shame Miles had to leave early,” she mused, crossing the room so I could unzip her. “Your sister told me. It was nice of the guys to invite him. Make him a part of things.”
“Yeah, they are real gems,” I muttered with more than a little irritation. Things were exponentially more complicated now than they would’ve been if he had never shown up.
She retreated to her dressing room, and I turned my attention back to the skyline outside. Where was he? I hadn’t seen him since we parted ways at the cabin on Friday night, with me practically fleeing to my room before I could do anything stupid like asking him to join me.
What was it about him that got me so mixed up? He had a grip on me whether I liked it or not. Ever since we’d set eyes on each other at Skye Worthington’s class, he had taken up space in my brain. Space that was getting larger all the time and crowding out all of the logical thoughts I needed to focus on.
Kissing him, being kissed until every ounce of resistance melted. God, I loved every second of it, knowing it shouldn’t happen and being powerless against it. For the first time in maybe my life, I had let myself get carried away and look where it had gotten me.
“What about this?” Mom appeared again in a dark red strapless dress with a dramatic train attached to the lower back. “I can take the train off if it’s too awkward, but I sort of like it.” The hem swished across the floor like a whisper as she approached the mirror and checked herself out.
My jaw dropped. “I know I said the first one was great, but this is drop-dead gorgeous. Honestly, I wouldn’t even waste your time trying on anything else.” I hoped to look half as good as she did by the time I reached sixty-five. She worked hard at it, though, that much I knew. She exercised religiously, ate well, the whole nine yards.
“How do you feel? That’s the most important part.” I went to her, admiring her up close while she posed and made faces in the mirror.
“I feel… really good,“ she admitted with a soft laugh. “Sometimes it still amazes me.”
“What does?”
“You wouldn’t understand because I made it a point to remind you and your sister of how gorgeous and spectacular you are every day of your lives.” She caught my chin on the tips of her fingers and pursed her lips in an air kiss. “That isn’t the same for everyone. I spent three decades convinced I was ugly and useless. There are still moments, all these years later, when I expect to see that girl in the mirror.”
This was one of the reasons Mom had started her nonprofit in the first place. To help women who’d grown up the way she had and needed to believe there was something better they were capable and deserving of. Kissing her cheek, I whispered, “I love you. I’m proud of you. And you should definitely choose this one.”
“Right. I will.” She clapped with excitement, and I did the same, helping her with the zipper. By the looks of it, she would only need minimal tailoring over the next two weeks.
I couldn’t believe it was already so close. I would need to take time to try on a few dresses myself. My attention was all over the place nowadays, making it difficult to stay on top of things.
“And you’re still okay to help with the event on Wednesday?” Mom confirmed. I had almost forgotten about the little carnival they were holding at one of the women’s centers run by the nonprofit. Hell, I had helped plan it, but the date had crept up on me while I was too distracted by Miles to notice.
Assuring her I’d be there bright and early, I retreated from the room, planning to finish unpacking the bags I had left in my room after returning earlier. That was until the sound of footsteps coming from the foyer drew me to the top of the stairs. I caught a brief glimpse of a pair of black boots and a black leather jacket before Miles disappeared from sight, having just returned from a motorcycle ride from the looks of it.
Knowing he was here, under our roof, got my nerves jangling and my heart racing. This couldn’t continue. I needed him to know we could never mess around like that again. Dad would lose it, for one thing. He liked Miles so much and wanted us to be one big family. I hated the idea of disappointing him, not to mention Mom. Meanwhile, Valentina would never let me live it down after all the bitching I had done about him.
More than anything, I wanted to respect myself again. He was my stepbrother. On top of that, I had basically told him from the beginning that I would never trust or accept him. I’d gone against all of that and betrayed myself in the process. I needed to prove I was in control of this situation. I had to. How could I look at myself in the mirror otherwise?
I was trotting down the stairs before I knew it and speed walking down the hall so I didn’t lose my nerve. Light shone from beneath the door leading into his suite while the sound of footsteps reached me by the time I knocked. I regretted it immediately, but it was too late to turn back now. He was already headed for the door, his footsteps getting louder until he swung it open.
For some reason, he didn’t look surprised to find me standing in before him. He only stepped aside and ushered me inside with a sweep of his arm.
And even though I couldn’t shake the feeling of walking into the lion’s den, I accepted the challenge and entered.