14. Marcus
14
MARCUS
I nviting Emma over for dinner had been a decision I agonized over more than I should have. What if it went sideways? What if she felt awkward and never spoke to me again? Worse, what if the kids hated her?
To my relief, none of those fears came to pass. Dinner wasn’t just good—it was fantastic. Even Lily, who was perpetually carrying a storm cloud these days, seemed to enjoy herself for a moment. It wasn’t a full breakthrough, but there was a flicker of light, a moment where I could see my daughter, the real her, breaking through the pain.
Jason, on the other hand, was all in. He practically glued himself to Emma’s side, asking her a million questions about being a surgeon, what kind of tools she used, and if she ever saw "cool" injuries like in superhero movies. Emma handled him with the kind of patience that made me suspect she’d be an amazing mom one day. She didn’t just answer his questions—she engaged with him, asking him about his favorite superheroes and telling him how, as a kid, she used to imagine herself as a real-life Wonder Woman.
I hadn’t expected my son to turn into my unintentional wingman, but he’d learned more about Emma in one cab ride to our house than I had in the several weeks we’d been working together.
We stood side by side at the sink, the rhythm of washing and drying dishes creating a quiet intimacy that I hadn’t felt in a long time. It felt… natural. Easy.
“You know, I don’t do this very often,” Emma said, breaking the silence.
“Do what? The dishes?” I asked, glancing at her.
“Dinner at someone’s house. The whole… family thing.”
“Why not?”
She shrugged, her expression guarded. “My folks moved to Florida, and the only family I have that’s local is my grandmother. I don’t have any cousins, so this feels a bit like something out of TV or a movie. And work doesn’t exactly leave a lot of room for a social life.”
“Sounds familiar,” I said. “When Blair and I were first married, I spent more time deployed than I did at home. The military isn’t exactly known for fostering close-knit family dynamics.”
“I appreciate the invitation to the ball game and the company,” she said. “I know I can be standoffish at the hospital.”
“I don’t think I’d call it standoffish,” I admitted. “You’re maintaining a professional distance.”
“Yeah, but I don’t have to be a complete bitch about it,” she said with a dry laugh.
I laughed at her choice of words because, well, she had been a bit of a bitch—not that I’d ever admit it to her face. But then again, there were plenty of surgeons who were the same way. It was almost a professional expectation.
“Being a surgeon comes with a certain amount of ego,” I said. “And that sometimes comes across as a potential character flaw in both men and women. Hazard of the profession.”
“Even so, thank you,” she repeated.
“My son hasn’t smiled this much in a long time,” I admitted.
“It’s none of my business,” Emma started, “but… their mother?”
I swallowed. I knew this was going to come up eventually. I couldn’t avoid it forever.
Emma glanced at me, curiosity flickering in her eyes. “How long were you married?”
“Fourteen years,” I said, my voice softening. “She passed away three years ago. Breast cancer.”
Her hands stilled for a moment, the plate she was holding hovering over the drying rack. “I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice sincere.
“It’s okay,” I said, though it wasn’t entirely true. “I mean, it’s not okay, but… we made the most of the time we had. And now, it’s just me and the kids trying to figure things out.”
“You’re doing a good job, you know,” Emma said, breaking the silence.
I raised an eyebrow. “You think so?”
She smiled. “Jason’s a sweet kid. And Lily… well, she’s got a lot going on, but it’s obvious she cares about you. Even if she doesn’t always show it.”
“Thanks,” I said, feeling a warmth I hadn’t expected. “That means a lot.”
We finished the dishes in companionable silence, and when Emma dried her hands and turned to face me, there was a softness in her expression that made my chest ache.
“I should probably get going,” she said, glancing at the clock. “It’s getting late.”
“You don’t have to leave so early,” I said. “You could stay, maybe watch a movie with me and the kids.”
She hesitated, her lips curving into a small smile. “Tempting, but I think I’ve overstayed my welcome.”
“Not possible,” I said.
“Well, thank you for dinner,” she said, her voice warm. “And for letting me crash your family time. It was… nice.”
“You’re welcome anytime,” I said, meaning every word. “Do you need me to call you a cab?”
“I’m a big girl,” she said with a soft smile. “I’ve lived in the city for a while. I can get myself home.”
“Well, at least let me call you a cab,” I insisted.
“That, I’ll let you do.”
I stepped outside with her to wait for the cab I’d called. The night air was cool, carrying the faint scent of the city and the distant hum of traffic. We stood there in silence for a moment, the space between us charged with something unspoken.
“Goodnight, Emma,” I said as the cab pulled up.
“Goodnight, Marcus,” she said, her eyes meeting mine.
I watched as the cab drove away, a strange mix of hope and longing settling in my chest. Whatever had happened tonight, it felt like the beginning of something.
But not everyone in the house shared my optimism.
As soon as I stepped back inside, I was met with Lily’s glare.
“I cannot believe you invited that woman over here,” she said, her tone dripping with accusation.
“Lily, it was just dinner,” I said, already bracing for the argument I knew was coming.
“Just dinner?” she repeated, her voice rising. “You invited her into our house, Dad. How could you do that?”
“Lily, listen?—”
“No! You don’t get to tell me to listen!” she shouted. “You’re betraying Mom, and you don’t even care!”
“Lily, that’s not fair,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. “This has nothing to do with betraying your mom. Emma is a colleague. That’s all.”
“Don’t lie to me!” she snapped. “She’s not just a colleague. You like her!”
I hesitated, unsure of what to say.
“I can’t believe you,” Lily said, tears welling in her eyes. “You’re just… replacing her.”
Her words hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. “Lily, that’s not true,” I said, my voice heavy with emotion. “No one could ever replace your mom.”
“Then why are you doing this?” she demanded.
“I’m not doing anything, Lily,” I said, my voice almost breaking. Lily’s accusations hit hard. I missed Blair every single day, and I was doing the best I could to keep it all together. But I was still alive, and lonely, and Emma sparked something in me that I thought had died with Blair. I couldn’t tell Lily any of that. It wouldn’t be fair to dump my burden on my child. It was my responsibility to take hers from her shoulders. I was the parent and Lily was my child, not my therapist or confidant.
Lily stared at me, her expression a mix of anger and hurt. Then she turned and stormed up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door behind her.
I stood there for a long time, the sound of the door echoing in my ears.
Jason poked his head out from the living room, his expression cautious. “Dad?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
“Are you okay?”
I forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. Go back to your movie.”
He nodded, disappearing back into the living room.
I sank onto the couch, running a hand over my face. The evening had started so well, and now it felt like everything was falling apart.
But despite the tension with Lily, I couldn’t ignore the way my heart felt lighter after spending time with Emma. She had a way of making me feel like myself again, like the man I used to be before life had knocked me down.
The rest of the weekend passed in a blur of awkward silences and strained interactions with Lily. Jason seemed oblivious to the tension, chattering away about superheroes and asking when Emma would come over again.
By the time Monday rolled around, I was more than ready to escape to the hospital, even if it meant dealing with the usual chaos of the ER. But as much as I tried to focus on work, I couldn’t stop thinking about Emma. I practically stalked her to her office.
“I was looking for you,” I said as I stepped in.
“You were?” she asked, a grin spreading across her face and lighting her entire expression.
“I just wanted to let you know we really enjoyed your company the other day. Jason hasn’t stopped talking about you.”
“Well, I very much enjoyed dinner,” she said. “Thank you for having me over.”
“I’d like to extend that invitation again,” I said. “You’re welcome anytime.”
“Well, that might depend…” she said with a shrug. “Your kids might have something to say about that.”
“Jason would say, ‘How soon are you coming over again?’” I said.
“And Lily would say, ‘Don’t come back.’” Emma filled in.
“Sounds like you know my daughter well.”
“She’s not particularly subtle in expressing her emotions,” Emma said.
“No, she’s not,” I agreed.
“Well, I wanted to be clear,” I said. “And Lily’s feelings notwithstanding,” I said, distracted momentarily by Emma’s lips, “I very much enjoyed seeing you in my house. That could be something…”
Before I finished the thought, I lowered my head and captured her lips with mine.
The kiss was soft and warm. Her mouth was everything I remembered it to be.
I groaned against the kiss, losing myself a little too much. After all, we were at work, and we were supposed to be keeping this… whatever it was between us… professional.
But there was nothing professional about what I was feeling at that moment.