20. Marcus
20
MARCUS
I checked the time on my watch. Emma should be out of her presentation any minute, and I hoped she’d come tell me about it.
We had too many patients for me to just be able to leave the emergency department, even for just fifteen minutes. Fortunately, none of the current cases were heavy trauma or life-threatening injuries. Every time I heard feet walking down the hall, I looked up, hoping it would be her.
It felt like all the anxiety she had clearly been feeling when I spoke to her earlier had transferred to me. If something like that were even possible, I would have taken all of her doubt so that she could present in a calm manner.
I wasn’t a big fan of doing those kinds of presentations in front of non-medical personnel. Give me a room full of med students, doctors, or nurses, and I had no problem. But put me in front of a room of executives and command structure, and I always felt like I was speaking a different language to them.
I stopped by the nurses’ station as my shift came to an end to make sure everything was all right and that they wouldn’t need me to stick around.
“You’re fine, Dr. Walker. We’ll see you later.” Rosa Hernandez waved me off.
I hadn’t seen Emma yet, so I asked, “Has Dr. Chen been put back on the schedule or come down here at all today?”
“No, Dr. Chen hasn’t been down here at all today,” Rosa said.
I hummed, biting my bottom lip. I should probably go find her, then.
“Thanks,” I said with a brief wave as I walked away.
“See you later, Dr. Walker,” Rosa called after me.
Instead of going directly to my office, I headed toward Emma’s. I hadn’t even turned onto her hallway before I saw her walking in my direction. Her shoulders were rounded, her gaze fixed on the floor. I stopped and watched her for a moment. Then she lifted her head, and our eyes met. She wiped at her cheeks, and I could tell by the dark pink rim around her eyes that she had been crying.
I took one step toward her, and she ran into my arms. She crushed her face against my chest and fisted my white doctor’s coat in her hands as she let out a muffled sob. Instinctually, my arms went around her, and I stroked her back, making the same soothing sounds I made when either of my kids had cried against me.
Her entire body shook as she cried out her emotions. She felt so delicate and fragile in my arms. I would have fought a bear and a lion at the same time in that moment to protect her. I thought I might have a better chance against the wild animals than I would against the hospital administration, who I was fairly certain were responsible for this outburst.
“Do you want to go into your office? It’s closer than mine,” I suggested after letting her cry for a bit.
I didn’t carry a handkerchief when I wore scrubs, so I didn’t have anything to hand her to wipe her tears. Without anything else immediately available, I pulled up the hem of my shirt and dabbed at her cheeks.
She held still as I wiped her tears.
“Better?” I asked.
She nodded, and I gently guided her back toward her office. As soon as we were inside, she sat on the first chair she reached. I knelt down in front of her so she wouldn’t have to look up at me and so I could be close by in case she needed my shoulder again.
She took several shaky, deep breaths before locking gazes with mine.
“It was a goddamned setup. He did it on purpose,” she said. “He must have gotten wind that you and I were both working on this, and yet I was the only one invited to the presentation. He was relentless in his questions and didn’t let me speak at all. His first question was why you weren’t there when he was under the impression this was a project we were both working on. I tried to point out that he hadn’t even mentioned you in the original email and that for a meeting of this nature in the middle of a typical workday, our department would have needed much more notice so that the two of us could be gone at the same time.” She sniffled.
“He undermined everything. He stacked the deck against me and made assumptions about what my speaking points were. It was an absolute shit show.”
She started gulping air as she spoke, and I quickly looked around her office for a water bottle. Fortunately, there was one of those popular large thermal drinking mugs on her desk. It sloshed as I picked it up, so I was confident it had something in it. Hopefully, it was water and not day-old coffee.
She closed her eyes as her lips wrapped around the straw and she pulled on the liquid. She took a few long drinks before handing the mug back to me.
I listened as Emma continued to rant about her disastrous presentation and what she really thought of Kevin, “a snake with legs,” as she put it. I nodded, made confirming sounds to let her know I was listening, and clenched my jaw involuntarily at the injustices she had endured because her ex was on some kind of power trip at her expense.
I wanted to offer suggestions on how to fix this. I had to fight the urge to jump in and make it right. Unfortunately, there really was nothing to fix this side of Kevin’s attitude, and Emma didn’t need me to fix anything. She needed me to listen.
When she finished, she just sat there, blinking up at me, her eyes wide and with tears still welling in the corners.
“You don’t have to go down to the department, do you?” I asked. She was in no shape to take care of someone else’s acute trauma when she was clearly in the middle of her own emotional battle.
She shook her head. “I managed to get the whole day scheduled for office hours.”
“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off and come home with me?” I held up my hands and shook my head, realizing after the words were out of my mouth that they had come out all wrong. I didn’t mean I wanted her to come home with me so I could hold her in my arms and soothe away her troubles with my body. That’s not what she was open to hearing right now, anyway.
“Come home with me,” I tried again. “I have blankets, a couch, and a large screen television where you can put on any mindless entertainment you want, or sit in the quiet if you prefer. But I don’t know how quiet it’ll be. My kids will be home, and I’m sure Jason would be delighted to babble on at you all about his video game. I can make you a hot cup of tea and dinner, or even a cocktail, and you won’t have to think about anything else for the rest of the day. I even have a guest room if you don’t want to go home.”
She scrunched up her face, the tip of her tongue poking out between her teeth. “Are you suggesting that I come to your place and you’ll get me drunk?”
I must have had shock all over my face because she let out a small chuckle at my expense.
“No, not at all. I thought you could use a friend and some company,” I admitted.
“A part of me wants to say no and go home to wallow in my misery alone,” she confessed. “But another part of me really doesn’t want to be alone. And I think that part is winning. So yes, I’ll take you up on your offer of the corner of your couch and a warm blanket. But I think I’ll pass on the cocktail. Alcohol and high emotions are not a good mix for me.” She paused and looked down at the floor for a bit before meeting my eyes again.
“Do you think maybe Jason will let me play his video game with him?”
I smiled at her question. “I think Jason would let you do almost anything. You really impressed him the first time he met you.”
I looked down at myself, still in my scrubs and white doctor’s coat. “I need to change. Why don’t you stay here and rest? I’ll come back for you when it’s time to leave.”
As I stood, Emma grabbed my wrist. “Don’t take too long, okay?”
I nodded and practically ran down the hall so I wouldn’t be away from her for more than a few minutes.
She was rigid and professional as we left the hospital together, but she melted as soon as we were alone. She leaned against me in the back of the cab on the ride home. As she quietly curled up on the couch in my living room, she looked like she belonged there. Jason was more than happy to keep her entertained and her thoughts off her disastrous afternoon.