25. Sean
TWENTY-FIVE
sean
“All hail the king.”
Rían bent forward and tried to kiss the ring on my pinky but I nudged him in the forehead before he could, not finding his joke funny. I took a seat in what my father called the throne room, hidden behind a sliding wall in the library of the O’Sullivan headquarters—the only place we ever congregated with members of the mob who weren’t family.
Becoming the Boss meant being here all fucking day while everyone came to swear loyalty.
My grandda and da had gone through the same initiation process. It was more about seeing who showed up promptly and who took their time.
I didn’t care for this part and Rían was well aware of it.
Nevertheless, I appreciated being able to put eyes on him for longer than the short FaceTime calls we had since I moved back to New York.
“Where’s Cian?” I asked, glancing at the door then Rían.
“G wanted to stop and buy you a gift,” he said, eyes slowly taking in the sparse room. “Finn and Violet are out front. I saw grandda before coming in here.”
Our eyes met and he frowned.
“Y’all keeping shit from me?” he asked. “He’d only be here if something serious was happening.”
I sat back, wondering if he really wanted to know.
Rían had more freedom than the rest of us and part of me wanted him to be able to keep it.
“Not on purpose,” I told him. “Needed all four of us together and the other day wasn’t appropriate. Finn had already sacrificed part of it for the family.”
He nodded.
“You and Blair alright? Did you forgive her yet?”
“Do you think I should?” I asked, curious if he still felt the same.
My family really fucked with Blair.
That meant something to me and I knew it meant something to her, too.
“Of course you should,” he said, tossing a look my way that almost made me laugh. “It’s Blair. She’d never do anything to hurt any of us, especially you. Don’t be treating her all crazy either.”
I couldn’t contain my laughter once his finished.
My baby brother had a little crush on my wife from the ages of eight until about twelve. He’d expressed it in the form of standing up for her whenever he felt it was needed. But even after he’d grown out of it and into more available prospects, Rían protected her all the same.
“Fuck is so funny?”
He had his face scrunched up.
“You,” I finally said. “I forgave her already. We’re good. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt your first love.”
He scoffed and my lips spread.
Fucking with Rían had always been easy and I enjoyed watching him get a little flustered about being teased.
He parted his lips to speak but stopped when Blair entered with Finn, Violet, Cian, and Gianna in tow.
“Who’s his first love?” Gianna asked, looking around the room as Finn and Cian started to laugh. “Oh it must be something good. You been keeping secrets? I thought we were besties?”
Rían sighed.
“You’ve been wrong all this time though,” he said, cutting his eyes at me. “It wasn’t a crush but appreciation. She came along, you were better and I got a sister out of the deal. Of course protecting her was important.”
Blair’s head whipped in his direction.
Even I was a little taken aback by the confession.
“You see me as your sister?” she asked, hands stuffed into the pocket of her knee length coat.
He nodded as Cian said, “We all do. Thought you knew.”
“Hold up,” Finn ordered, stopping two street soldiers from entering. “Shut the door and don’t let anybody in until I say so.”
Blair glanced at me and I beckoned her, understanding the expression in her eyes all too well. She sat on my left leg and faced my brothers.
“Your actions told me so,” she said, placing one hand palm side up behind her back for me to take. “But none of you have ever openly said it. Guess I was surprised to hear it.”
I slipped my fingers through hers, gaze focused solely on the tiny semi-colon tattoo etched into her wrist.
Mmm. Wonder when she got this.
“We’re your family, B,” Finn told her as I brushed my finger over it and she shuddered. “Let’s get shit straight now, you can rely on everybody in this room for the good, bad and chaotic.”
They were in the middle of a moment Blair needed for a lot of reasons. But all I could think about was if there were any more tattoos I hadn’t noticed.
“I’m still learning to accept that there are people who love me other than Sean,” she said, pulling our hands forward until they were against her stomach. “The feeling is mutual.”
Two hard knocks at the door, signaled the end of this pow wow.
“We can finish this conversation later. Open the door…” I tapped Blair’s thigh and she stood, walking away without looking back. “Gianna, let me talk to you for a second.”
I moved off to the side, irritation churning in my gut out of nowhere.
“What’s up?” Gianna asked, frowning up at me. “You look upset.”
I shook my head, relaxing the strain in my eyebrows.
“Do me a favor and let Cian take you back to Philly,” I requested, ignoring the question I didn’t have an answer to. “I appreciate you wanting to follow family customs, but your loyalty isn’t in question.”
She took a second but eventually I got a slow nod of agreement.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Every day, I became more and more unsure about a lot of shit.
“I’ll get back to you on that.”
Cian walked up and draped an arm over Gianna’s shoulder, his gaze bouncing between us.
“Y’all good?”
“Better than good,” Gianna said before I could respond. “Sean agreed we should go home after this.”
My brother gave me a pointed look, as if he knew I’d put her up to it. But after a few seconds, he conceded.
“If that’s what you want, beauty,” Cian said, cutting his eyes at her. “Let me feed you.”
They walked away and I felt a little of the pressure mounting my shoulders disappear. I needed to keep as many of them out of the red zone as possible and spent the rest of the night strategically moving pieces to execute exactly that.
Cian and Gianna were heading back to Philly with Anessa.
Siobhan was knee deep in her marriage scam and off grid until further notice.
I forced Niamh and Aoife together, not wanting either operating alone.
“I don’t need security,” Yasmine argued, still trying to make her point ten minutes after my announcement. “We can manage on our own.”
Every time she opened her mouth, my patience dwindled.
Blair had been avoiding me all night and I could only attribute my lack of giving a fuck to that.
“Yas, you’re leaving here with security,” I said slowly, looking her directly in the eye. “We aren’t debating or negotiating my decision.”
I moved on, speaking to and dismissing anybody on the route to my intended destination.
“Let me have a word with you…” I took Blair’s hand, pulled her from the library and into the bathroom at the end of the hall. “Fuck is your problem?”
She looked up and took a deep breath before responding.
“I don’t have a problem.”
Liar.
I backed her into the door and flipped the lock.
“Tell me why you mad, baby,” I murmured, slipping my hands around her waist. “Tell me what I did.”
She started to take her watch off.
“I don’t want you to think I’m still hiding things from you,” Blair said, twisting her wrist to show me the semicolon tattoo. “This was a random choice in the middle of the day like six months ago. I like what it symbolizes.”
“You were upset because you thought I was.”
Her dark eyes met mine and I couldn’t help but steal a kiss.
“I’m not upset,” I murmured into her lips. “But, I do need you to strip later and let me look at you. Now stop avoiding me. I need you by my side for the rest of the night.”
“I’ll strip right now.”
I chuckled.
“Work first, play later.”
At least that’s what I tried to tell myself but made no attempt to release her. Instead, I brought her wrist to my lips and pressed kisses to the tiny but significant ink.
“You’re upsetting the women in your family today,” she said softly, dropping her forehead to my chest. “I understand protecting everyone is on your shoulders but try not to be so impatient with them. Everyone is adjusting.”
I understood what she was trying to convey, but it was easier said than done.
“I’m exhausted, Amoy.”
It wasn’t about the guns, or fucking Meechie, or even my grandda being back, though I felt myself consciously avoiding him.
But everything else.
That little voice in the back of my head warning me not to let Blair too far out of my reach, even though she was heavily protected.
“I love you, Oisin…” she reached up and brushed her thumbs over my furrowed eyebrows to smooth them out. “Be exhausted and I’ll pick up the slack until you feel up to it.”
I held on to her and we stayed like that for a while, invested in the moment of reprieve. Only she could calm my spirit, make me feel like I’m not failing at this already.
We both sighed when three hard knocks followed by Finn’s voice reminded us staying like this forever wasn’t an option, at least not today.
“Aye, wrap this shit up,” he said, thankfully not yelling for everybody to hear. “There’s still people waiting to see you.”
“Heard you,” I replied hastily to get him away from the door.
I savored my wife for a little longer, kissing her neck, then below the ear and smiling at the little shudder it ignited.
“I love you deep,” I murmured, lips brushing the shell of her ear. “Don’t respond to anything else I’m about to say, just listen and when I’m finished, nod and we’ll get to work…” I pulled back and looked down at her, smiling a little at the curious expression in her dark eyes. “You’re my everything and I need you to know… to understand I’d give all this up for us in a heartbeat. None of it, the money or power, means shit to me without you. But, I’m glad you’re my partner in this fucked up business and I accept you picking up the slack for the rest of the night.”
Her lips, slowly and all for me, spread into a satisfied smiled. She needed this, too.
I think we both did.