Chapter 39
Chapter
Thirty-Nine
“The meaning of life is that it stops.”
― Franz Kafka
Jade
21 years old
Nine years ago
“Happy birthday, Jadie!”
I smiled, leaning over to blow out the candles while keeping my hair clear of the flames—a precaution born from my thirteenth birthday disaster when half my hair went up in smoke. Let’s just say the night ended with a burn on my neck, a chunk missing from my head, and the title of Worst. Birthday. Ever.
“Can’t believe my baby’s twenty-one,” Mama said, hugging me with enough force to crack ribs. Tears streamed down her face. “Time sure flies, don’t it?”
Uncle Jake, a walking beer advertisement in his forties, let out his signature wheeze of a laugh and popped open another can. “Twenty-one, darlin’! Now I can take ya to my spot and teach ya how to drink like a real lady!”
Before I could respond, Aunt Krissy swooped in with a grin that could only mean trouble. Her bleached-blonde hair defied all odds by still existing, and her bedazzled teeth caught every light in the room.
“Well, honey,” she drawled, “now that you’re legal, it’s time to make some real bad decisions. When I was twenty-one, I?—”
Sparing myself and everyone else, I scooped up a forkful of cake and stuffed it in her mouth before she could regale us with the saga of her tequila-fueled stadium streaking.
She laughed, still chewing, and handed me a foil-wrapped gift. “Happy birthday, birdie. Just don’t expect me to bail you out.”
Inside was a $100 nail salon voucher. “Thanks, Aunt Krissy,” I said, grateful her mischief had come with a practical upside.
The room hummed with chatter as everyone settled in with their cake, but my focus drifted to the window. For the sixth time, I scanned the empty street.
“She’s coming,” Mama reassured me, catching my gaze. “Thomas and she had a fight last night, but they’re meeting to talk it out.”
Uncle Jake snorted, swirling the amber liquid in his glass. “Told her that boy wasn’t good enough, but she doesn’t listen.”
Mama’s glare could’ve melted steel. “Leave Stella alone, Jake. She’s young and in love.”
Stella. My little sister, and polar opposite. She was all golden hair, hazel eyes, and rosy cheeks—a walking fairy tale—while I played the dark-haired witch lurking in her shadow. We spent most of our childhood either fighting or plotting each other’s doom, but she was still my favorite person.
Until I left for college, anyway. Somewhere between studying marketing and bringing home my first boyfriend—a mistake as regrettable as my bangs phase—we’d drifted apart.
She had cried when she met him. “He’s going to take you away!” she’d wailed. Spoiler alert: he didn’t. He’d cheated three months later—with multiple girls.
Over time, Stella came to me for advice, but then Thomas came along. A charmer from her math class who turned her life into a loop of teenage chaos. Mama let her date him at sixteen, claiming it was a “good age to start.” Sure, if constant breakups and tearful reconciliations counted as “good.”
Two months ago, she’d dumped him in a melodramatic tear-fest after he’d forgotten their anniversary. She’d cried in my arms until she’d fallen asleep, only to forgive him the next day when he’d showed up with flowers. The cycle was as predictable as the sunrise.
But today had felt different. When she left earlier, her eyes had been glassy, her smile brittle. My stomach had twisted in a way it rarely had.
The empty street mocked me, and I snapped. Muttering an excuse, I escaped to my room, phone already in hand.
Flopping onto my bed, I dialed her number. It barely rang before she picked up.
“Where are you, Stella?”
Her sniffle cut through the line like a knife.
“At Lake Kendrick,” she whispered, her voice fragile. “Thomas left me here. He’s gone.”
My heart dropped.
I bolted upright, head spinning. “What? What? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I just... I wanted to think,” she said, sniffling again.
Oh no.
When Stella said she needed to think, it usually meant she was sinking—spiraling into that dark place where self-loathing, doubt, and unrelenting disgust with herself took over. A wave she never seemed to able to outrun.
“How long has he been gone?”
“I don’t know… maybe ten minutes?”
I groaned, already storming out of my room and down the stairs. “Don’t move. Stay right where you are. I’m coming.”
“Okay,” she murmured, her voice barely a whisper before the line went dead.
I grabbed my sneakers from the hallway, yanking them on, and threw on my coat.
As I rushed out the door, I shouted over my shoulder, “I’m going to get Stella! Don’t even think about finishing all the cake!”
Mama called something after me, but I wasn’t listening. I snatched her car keys from the kitchen counter and pushed open the door.
The November air hit me like a punch to the face, cold enough to freeze my breath mid-air as I rushed to the driveway. My fingers went numb on the car door handle, but I yanked it open and climbed into the driver’s seat.
The drive there was silent and fast, the only sound was the hum of the engine and the rush of my thoughts.
When I finally pulled up near the entrance to Lake Kendrick, I was expecting to see Stella sitting by the water, waiting for me. But instead, I stopped short, staring in surprise. A huge chunk of trees around the lake had been cleared, and in their place were bright yellow warning signs—“Private Property” and “No Trespassing.”
The area that used to be peaceful and untouched was now marked off with harsh, glaring signs.
I cursed under my breath, staring at the barricades, unsure of what to do.
But I wasn’t about to let a few signs stop me.
I threw the car in park, slammed the door, and walked toward the entrance. I crawled under the yellow tape, my heart pounding as I glanced around.
The area was eerily quiet, the kind of stillness that felt off.
I kept walking, determined, until I reached the old picnic area at the edge of the lake.
There, just where I expected her to be, was Stella. Sitting alone by the lake, her back to me, looking like she was trying to disappear into the scenery. Like the world could swallow her whole, and she wouldn’t care.
I stood there for a second, taking in the scene, trying to swallow down the lump in my throat.
Seeing someone you love in pain was a kind of agony that gnawed at your soul. It was the kind of ache that stretched deep, because you knew, no matter how much you wished it were different, there was nothing you could truly say or do to make it better.
I took a step closer, my voice barely a whisper as I called out, “Stella?”
She didn’t answer, just stared out at the water, the tears still there in her eyes, even though she was trying to hide them.
I sat down next to her, the cold of the ground seeping into my jeans.
“I messed up, Jadie. I thought he was different,” she whispered. “I thought he was it. And now… he’s gone. I feel like I’m falling apart.”
I let out a dramatic sigh, flipping my hair over my shoulder, playing the part of the older sister who had everything figured out—which, let’s be real, I totally didn’t. “Look, honey, love is like high heels. You think it’s going to be all elegant and fun, but then your feet start hurting, and you realize you're just doing it for show. And I’m sorry, but sometimes the guy you thought was the perfect fit turns out to be the guy who’s about to break your toes.”
She chuckled a little, but the weight in her eyes didn’t go away.
I leaned in, tapping the butterfly pendant around her neck. The one Mama had gotten her for her birthday a few years ago. “You know, you’re like this little butterfly,” I said, my voice softening, but still laced with that biting edge. “You’re meant to fly, not be stuck in some boy’s messy web of drama.”
Her eyes flickered up at me, confused, unsure.
“You can’t wait for someone else to make you happy,” I continued, tracing the curve of the pendant. “You control your own wings. You control your own flight. No one else can cage you, not unless you let them.”
She looked at the pendant, her fingers brushing over it. “What if I don’t know who I am without him, Jadie?”
I sighed, my voice a little softer than usual. “Stella, you’re sixteen. You’re still figuring it out, and that’s okay. You’ll have a lot of versions of yourself—some you’ll love, some you’ll hate, and some you’ll barely recognize. But that’s part of growing. This boy? He’s just one tiny piece of the puzzle. The rest of it is all you, and it’s yours to figure out.”
Stella let out a soft sob, her blonde hair sticking to her tear-streaked cheeks as she suddenly launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug.
“Happy birthday again, Jadie!” she choked out between sobs. “I’m so sorry I missed your cake, and I haven’t even given you your present.”
I squeezed her back tightly. “It’s okay. Let’s go home.”
We walked around the land, bulldozers not too far off, trucks scattered around like forgotten toys. It was a Sunday, so the place was ghostly empty.
Stella stopped dead in her tracks, her hands flying to her hips. “Did you know?” she said, her voice dripping with disbelief. “A big company from New York bought the whole damn lake—and the twenty acres around it! They’re turning it into fucking useless hotels, casinos, tourist traps. Everything I love about this place? Gone.”
“Language, Stella,” I muttered.
She whipped around, practically on fire. “Sorry, Jadie, but I’m so fucking mad! I hate billionaires and how they don’t care about anyone but themselves! All they care about is more, more, more—taking and taking until there’s nothing left! They can’t even let nature be!”
I stood there for a second, watching her rage, and honestly, I couldn’t blame her.
We’d spent so many summers here—swimming in the lake until our fingers were pruny, tossing together picnics on the grass, riding our bikes through the forest, and pretending to be explorers.
This place was us . It was everything.
And now it was getting sold off, like some meaningless piece of property.
“You know—” I started, trying to say something to calm her down, but before I could finish, a shout cut through the air.
“Stella! Please, I need you! Stella!”
We both froze.
My heart skipped a beat.
I knew that voice.
Stella’s face went pale, like she’d seen a ghost.
It was Thomas.
“Help! Please!”
I glanced at Stella, and I saw it—the panic flashing in her eyes.
Before I could even blink, she was already running toward the voice.
I froze for a second, cursing under my breath, watching her blonde hair disappear behind the trucks. It felt like the world stopped moving for a moment.
Then, like a switch flipped, I snapped out of it. My legs moved before my brain caught up, and I shouted her name again, my voice tight with fear.
I ran, each step through the mud slowing me down, my sneakers slipping with every move. I cursed under my breath but didn’t stop.
“Stella!” I screamed again, my voice hoarse, but there was no answer.
Finally, I reached a big white truck with a name starting with a C. I slammed my hand against the cold metal, gasping for air, trying to steady my breathing. My ears rang, the world muffled as I looked around. All I saw were bright yellow warning signs—“Private Property” and “No Trespassing”—taunting me, telling me to turn back.
But then, I saw her.
She stood still, just a few feet away from Thomas, her hands at her sides like she couldn’t move. Thomas was the same, frozen, his face drained of color.
When his eyes met mine, they widened in shock.
“Jade! Don’t move! Stay where you are!”
Stella’s face snapped toward me, tears streaming down her cheeks as she sobbed uncontrollably. “Jadie, don’t move! Please!”
I stood there, confused, wiping the sweat off my forehead, my heart pounding in my chest. “What’s going on?” I called out.
Stella’s hand flew to her mouth, and she cried harder, the sobs shaking her entire body.
I took a step toward them, but before I could move any further, Thomas screamed, his voice raw with panic, cracking through the air like a gunshot.
“I stepped on a mine! Stella too! Everything’s going to explode!”
My blood went cold.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. It was like time had frozen around me. All I could hear was the blood rushing in my ears, the deafening silence that followed, and then the absolute terror in Thomas’s voice.
The ground beneath me suddenly felt like it could swallow me whole.
I forced myself to speak, my throat tight. “A mine? Are you sure?”
“Yes,” he choked out, his voice shaking. “I—I called Stella to come help me, to get the cops here, but… but she… she stepped on one too. I didn’t—I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m so fucking sorry, Stella. So sorry. Please, I’m so sorry…”
His words broke off into a sob, raw and guttural, like a piece of him was being torn apart. His hands were shaking as he ran them through his hair, his face twisted with guilt.
“I swear to God, baby, I never wanted this. I should’ve kept you away. I should’ve—” He stopped, his voice cracking, tears streaming down his face.
Stella cried harder, her hands pressed to her sides like she was holding herself together, but it wasn’t enough. Tears streamed down my face too, feeling completely useless.
She looked at Thomas, her eyes wide with pain—so much pain—that it felt like my heart was breaking for both of them.
“Stop… Stop, Thomas. The police—they’re gonna help us. They’re coming, okay? It’s gonna be okay,” she whispered between sobs, trying to hold herself together.
Thomas shook his head. “I’m so sorry for lying, Stella. I never should’ve dragged you here… I—I love you, baby. Please, forgive me.”
I couldn’t watch them anymore. It felt like I was falling apart.
I snapped. “Stop! Stop talking like that! Nothing is gonna happen. The police are gonna come and help you, and everything’s going to be okay!”
“Jadie, please,” Stella sobbed, her voice so small, so broken, it didn’t sound like her anymore. “Tell Mama I—I love her, okay? Tell her I’m sorry for everything?—”
My chest tightened. “No! No, Stella, I’m not doing that! You’ll tell her yourself!”
“Jadie, I’m so sorry. I love you too—so much, so much.”
“Stop it, Stella! Stop!” My own voice cracked, and I didn’t even care anymore that I was crying. “You don’t get to say goodbye! You don’t get to quit on me, do you hear me?”
She whimpered, her whole body shaking. “I don’t want to die, Jadie. I don’t want to die!”
“You’re not going to die!” I screamed, my nails digging into my palms. “Neither of you are gonna die! We’re gonna get you out of this! But you have to stay still—do not move, Stella, not a single move, do you hear me?”
Her sobs were louder now, broken gasps that shattered every word. And all I could do was watch, my hands useless, my heart in pieces. I wanted to grab her, hold her, shake her, make her believe me—but I couldn’t.
I was stuck here, on the edge of a nightmare, watching my sister crumble before my eyes.
Stella’s breath hitched, and she looked at me, her face pale. “Jadie… do you remember when I was five, and you taught me how to ride a bike after school?”
I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my throat. “Yeah… yeah, I remember.”
Her lips trembled, and she let out a shaky laugh, her voice cracking through her tears. “I fell, like, a hundred times, and you said… you said that when a little star falls from the sky, she becomes dust and shines on everything she touches. You made it sound so magical, like falling was just part of something bigger.”
“Stella, don’t. P-Please don’t do this.”
“You are my star, Jadie,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “You always have been. You’ve always been the one shining on me, even when I messed up, even when I fell. You made everything better.”
“Stop it,” I begged, my voice barely audible, knees threatening to give out under me. “You don’t get to talk like this. Not now. You’re gonna tell me this later, okay? You’re gonna tell me this when we’re sitting in the kitchen, eating the rest of my birthday cake, and opening the gift you got me. You hear me?”
But she just shook her head, her wide, shimmering eyes breaking me, piece by piece. “I’m so scared, Jadie… I don’t wanna die. I don’t wanna leave you. I’m not ready.”
“You’re not going anywhere!” I shouted, my hands trembling as I pressed them to my mouth, trying to choke back the sobs clawing at my throat. “You’re not gonna die, Stella! I swear it—I swear to God, you’re staying right here!”
Her mouth opened, like she wanted to argue, but the words caught in her throat. And all I could see was the little girl who used to follow me around, her wild blonde hair and those big brown eyes full of trust, looking at me like I could fix anything.
And now, for the first time, I couldn’t.
Stella let out a hollow, broken laugh, the sound rattling in her chest. “Jadie… your birthday present, the one waiting at home,” she whispered. “It’s a photo album. All the pictures we’ve taken over the years. Mama helped me put it together. I wrote under each one—where we were, what happened that day, all the stupid little memories. I wanted you to have something to remember everything.”
“Stella, stop!”
She paused, her voice faltering as she forced a smile. “And I got you a new keychain, too. With our initials on it. ‘Cause you’re always losing your keys. Thought it might help.”
“Good way to spoil the surprise, Stella.”
A heavy silence stretched between us, the kind that made the world feel impossibly quiet, even when everything inside you was screaming.
“Jade,” Thomas rasped, his voice shaking, “tell my mom that I love her, and?—”
“No!” I cried out, cutting him off, my voice breaking as tears poured down my face. “Not you too, Thomas! Please! You’re going to be fine, both of you! Stop it! Stop talking like that! I swear—nothing is going to happen!”
But the thing about promises is that they break as easily as hearts—quietly, suddenly, and completely.
The sirens howled in the distance, slicing through the thick air like cruel knives. Closer. Louder. Mocking us.
Stella froze, her tear-streaked face turning toward me. For one fleeting moment, her eyes met mine—full of fear, love, and something else I couldn’t bear to name. Something I didn’t want to understand.
Then another siren blared, so loud it rattled my bones.
And in that single, devastating instant, it happened.
A tiny, terrified step back.
“No!” My scream tore through the air, but it was already too late.
A blinding flash swallowed everything—a force so violent it tore the breath from my lungs, the ground shattering beneath me. The air erupted in chaos, in heat, in nothingness.
And then—silence.
The ground, the air, them—gone.
Just gone.
Forever.