11. Verena
11
VERENA
A few days have passed and I’ve successfully dodged all of Leo’s calls and texts. I haven’t spoken to him and as much as I want to keep it that way; I know he’ll come looking for me sooner or later.
The idea of whether or not I should leave him has been tossed around in my head since the abuse started. But lately, it’s been on my mind more frequently. Logically, I know I should. And part of me wants to, but a larger part of me is scared.
Scared of his reaction. Of what he’ll do to me in retaliation.
Do I really want to find out?
Will I survive if I try to leave him? Will I survive if I stay?
If death is the only way out, then hopefully once I’m six feet under, I can finally rest in fucking peace.
Sighing, I get out of bed and head to the kitchen to make some coffee. My phone pings and I open it, checking the notification that just came through.
Oh, fuck. My period is late.
He cannot know that my period is late. Leo doesn’t want kids. He loves nothing more than to be selfish with his possessions, especially his money. Where he used to dish it out on fancy dinners and wines, now I can’t even ask him for so much as an extra twenty dollars for groceries. Spending his hard earned check on useless shit is his specialty; he’d win a gold medal in that Olympic category. And after everything that he’s put me through, having his babies is not something that’s on my bucket list.
Clicking on the notification, the app opens up to show me that I am not one or two days late, but five. Five fucking days.
The room starts spinning and my vision blurs slightly. I grab onto the doorframe to steady myself, and bile rises in my throat. Grabbing the small trash can by the door, I hover over it and release the contents of last night’s dinner into it, the putrid smell filling the room.
I dart to my bathroom and rinse out my mouth, then dig in the cabinets underneath the sink. “Fuck. Where is it?! I saw it here just last week!” I whisper-scream, careful not to wake up the other girls. I rummage through haircare products and makeup just to come up empty.
“Fuck!” I hiss under my breath, afraid of what this may mean for my future.
It’s the asscrack of dawn and no stores are open yet, not to mention the trek to the store and back would make me late for class. A lightbulb goes off in my head and I’m racing to grab my slippers, keys, and phone. I always keep an extra test at Leo’s apartment. It’s hidden in the guest bathroom, stored in the first-aid kit. Checking the time, I know he’s at the halfway point of his shift and should be at work for a few more hours. The good thing about knowing his schedule, I can avoid running into him at a time like this.
Twisting the key into the lock, I quietly enter Leo’s place. Out of habit, I remove my shoes and make a beeline towards the guest bathroom.
Whipping open the cabinet doors, I spot the first-aid kit and swipe it from its place. I dump out the contents and reach for the pink box as soon as my eyes find it. Ripping open the box, I sit and begin to pee on the stick.
Popping the cap back on, I lean over and place the test on the sink. I remain seated for a minute, my leg bouncing at a quickened pace. I glance over at the test to see if the results are in, even though it's only been about twenty seconds. When I see that there is in fact no result yet, I rub my sweaty palms down over my pants while blowing out a puff of air.
A few minutes pass by and my patience is wearing thin. I reach for the test and close my eyes, afraid of seeing a positive sign on the little screen in front of me. After taking a deep breath and saying a silent prayer to whoever's listening, I slowly open one eye and see the bright blue horizontal line.
Negative. I’m not pregnant. Thank fucking God. Letting out a sigh of relief, I place the test back on the sink and run my hands through my hair, repeating the phrase to myself until my heart rate slows. I’m not pregnant. The test is negative.
I’ve been under a lot of stress recently, so it makes sense as to why I’m a few days late and continuing to worry about it won’t help my situation. I turn on the cold water and splash my face in hopes of settling my nerves. Reaching over to grab a towel to dry my face, I stiffen when I hear the front door close.
He’s not supposed to be home for at least another four hours. How am I supposed to get out of here without him seeing me? Crouching down, I scramble to put away the contents of the first-aid kit. Shoving the kit back into place, I stand and turn. The sight I’m met with has me freezing in place.
“I thought I heard someone in here. Where have you been?” Leo questions, stretching his neck to see what I’m doing. “Is that a first-aid kit? Did something happen? What’s going on, babe? Where have you been?” He asks again.
I need an excuse. Quick.
“Uh, we ran out of tampons and my period should be coming soon, so I came to grab some.” I reply nervously.
He steps into the doorframe and surveys the bathroom, his eyes landing on the pregnancy test box, then shifting to the test on the counter. His eyes meet mine again and I see the usual anger I know all too well within them. How could I miss the fucking box. I’m so stupid. He knows I’m lying.
Fuck.
Leo leans down, his face inches from mine. His breath fans my face and a lump forms in my throat.
“You mean to tell me that you disappear on me for fucking days with no explanation and you come back for tampons ?” he says, his voice gravelly. “Verena, one day you will be my wife and I will not tolerate being lied to. Don’t even think about lying your way out of this. Tell me now. Where were you and why is there a pregnancy test on my sink?”
Sighing, I reply with the same answer as always, hoping my lies will help me once more. “I’m sorry baby, this semester has been kicking my ass. I needed a few days to catch up on my assignments. My creativity has been slacking and my art is suffering the consequences. The stress affected my period, so I just wanted to rule out a pregnancy.” Little does he know, he’s the sole reason for my stress and anxiety.
He turns on his heel and storms out of the room. My brows furrow in confusion, but I sigh a breath of relief. Turning around, I pick up the box and test, disposing of them. Leo rushes into the bathroom and grabs my arm, spinning me towards him and pinning me to the wall. “Leo, what the hell?” I ask in surprise, my eyes widening when he roughly grabs a hold of my face.
“Well, I’m not taking any fucking chances. You disappeared for days. Who knows what or who you were doing. I can see it all over your face. You’re fucking lying. Open up and swallow, bitch,” Leo sneers.
His grip on my face tightens as he attempts to force my lips apart. Once there’s an opening, a pill is dropped in my mouth and his hands are on me. The right hand wraps around my throat while his other hand covers my mouth and nose. “I want to feel you swallow it. You will not breathe and you will not leave, until you do.”
My adrenaline is pumping, and my nerves are shot. Giving in, I reluctantly swallow the emergency contraceptive pill. Only when he feels the pill slide down my throat does he remove his hand from my face, but his grip around my neck tightens.
“Never fucking lie to me again. Should there be a next time, I won’t extend such kindness and grace, Verena.” With that, he releases my neck and rears his hand back. Leo musters up all of his strength and sends his fist flying straight into my stomach.
Once.
Twice.
Three fucking times.
Grabbing the back of my neck, he pulls me to the sink and slams my face onto the counter. My head throbs in pain and I yelp, pushing against his hand to put space between my body and the counter. He’s too strong, and he sends me straight into the marble a second time. Bending down, he growls in my ear, “You are mine. You do as I say and stay in your fucking place. You don’t want to find out what will happen if you choose otherwise.”
Tears form in my eyes because I know what’s coming next. It isn’t enough for him just to hurt me. He needs to piss on his territory like a fucking dog. He releases my neck and shoves down my pajama shorts. I hear the scuffle of his scrubs being pushed down, and he slams into me without warning.
“Leo, please no,” I cry, unable to handle his brutal force any longer. My voice is faint, but it needs to be heard. “Please, I’m sorry, Leo. It won’t happen again!”
His fists wrap around my hair, pulling up my torso until I can see his reflection in the mirror. He grunts and groans, a wicked smile spreading across his lips. “Damn right, it won’t. Try that shit again and I will fucking kill you.” With one final thrust, he releases inside of me. Tucking himself back into his scrubs, I slowly push off the counter and begin to walk away. He snatches my wrist, bringing his face just inches from mine. His finger traces my cheek and jawline. “I love you, Verena. I just want us to be happy. I want the best for you, and that’s me.”
Isn’t it funny how the ones who claim to love you are the ones who hurt you the most?
“That’s hard to believe when you just shoved a fucking Plan B down my throat after you saw the test was negative.” I deadpan.
A devilish chuckle leaves his mouth and his eyes bore into mine. “That smartass mouth of yours is what gets you into trouble, you know that? If for once in your life you could just shut the fuck up instead of making some sarcastic, bitchy comment, we’d all enjoy life a little bit more.”
I throw my head back and laugh.
I’m so fucking tired of being his plaything. I won’t allow myself to be for a moment longer. This is my opportunity to leave. This ends here. Now.
Throwing my hands out, I yell, “Okay, so I will make things a lot easier for the both of us. We’re done, Leo. I’ll come back for my stuff tomorrow.” Turning on my heels, I head to the front door to put on my slippers. Footsteps sound from behind me, and I turn to see Leo barreling toward me, his arms up and reaching out. I open my mouth to speak, but his hands wrap around my neck and he slams my back into his front door.
His grip tightens around my neck and my vision begins to blur. My hands fly up to his wrists, digging my nails into his skin, but he won’t let up. Tighter and tighter, he squeezes, dizziness overtaking me. My knees give out, and it isn’t until then that Leo loosens his grasp around my neck.
My body falls to the floor with a hard thud and a piercing tone sounds throughout the room.
“Fuck!” I hear Leo yell, and slowly my vision comes back. His phone is to his ear, and a man is frantically rambling on the other line. “Alright. I’m on my way.” He ends the call and shoves the device back into his pocket.
Leo runs his fingers through his hair in frustration and I start to think of how I’m going to make it out of here. Surely he won’t just leave me with the choice of staying or leaving. I really do belong to him now. Now and forever.
I close my eyes and slow my breathing, hoping he doesn’t notice that I’m still conscious. He paces around the living room, mumbling to himself about what to do with me.
“Shit. You should’ve just let the bitch go, Leo,” he says to himself.
His footsteps retreat and he’s gone for only a few minutes, but it feels like hours. The sooner he leaves, the sooner I can plan my escape.
Hearing his footsteps get closer, I try not to let my body tighten. He leans over and I feel a poke in my neck.
Fuck this shit.
I try my hardest not to react and remain relaxed, but he just fucking drugged me. How the hell am I supposed to break free now?
He scoops me up from the ground and carries me into his bedroom, placing me on his bed. Then stalks out of the door, shutting it behind him.
That wouldn’t have been the worst scenario, but a moment later, the click of the lock reverberates in my ears.
My stomach sinks at the realization that I’m stuck here. Is this kidnapping? Of course, the prick of all fucking pricks would leave me locked in his bedroom. Rolling my eyes, I pat my pockets in search of my phone. My hand grazes my back pocket.
Bingo.
Bringing the phone up to my face, the light shines in my eyes and my vision begins to fade.
Shit. I need to be quick about this. I need help and only one person comes to mind. The only one who can truly set me free.
Opening the text thread, I see our messages from the last night we spent together. I woke up in his bed, surrounded by his scent, and draped in his arms. It felt so right and every moment without him since then has been complete and total agony.
As much as I hate to admit it, I fucking need him.
My eyes begin to flutter closed, but I manage to reach him before sleep overcomes me.
Me
*Drops Location*
I'M HERE. HELP.