Chapter 17 #2
“That’s not all there is to it.” He looks uncomfortable and doesn’t want to say what the next part is.
“Then what happens?” I have another bad feeling about this.
He looks away, his voice barely audible. I’m not sure I hear correctly. “You die.”
"I die?" My voice barely reaches a whisper, repeating his words horror ears away at me, but in a sick sense it makes everything they were telling me make sense. I’m horrified. They have to kill me if I’m going to be like them.
"We will make it quick," Tobias continues, like the pain is what I worried about.
Make it quick? Who the fuck is he kidding? I’m not willing to make that sacrifice. What if it doesn’t work? Then I'd just be dead. Who in their right mind would agree to die to be with someone?
"No," I say, shoving him away, gathering my strength.
"No? That's your answer?" Tobias asks, stepping out of the shower behind me and grabbing a towel.
"Exactly what I said. No." I can't believe how fucked up this is. Either way, I die. If I don't change, I die. If I change, I die. I can't believe they expect me to be okay with any of this.
"Either way, the options are death. Just choose the one where you get to come back, Imogen, be reasonable."
Be reasonable? Is this fucker for real? There is nothing reasonable about dying. Once you're dead, you're gone. There isn't meant to be a way back from death. If there was, my mother would still be here.
I stalk out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
The sun breaks through outside, and the bedroom does not even need the light on to see anymore.
Looks like there will be no sleep for me now.
I pull on a sweater dress before walking downstairs.
Tobias follows behind me. If it wasn't for the situation, I'd chuckle that he was being a loyal dog.
Going to the kitchen, I flick the kettle on before grabbing some mugs. I grab three out before Tobias speaks.
"Don't bother making Theo one. I'm not sure when he will be back."
I wonder where he went, to think he told me not to run from confrontation, yet he has left the place entirely. Hypocrite. I make my coffee before leaving out the back. The morning sun has turned the sky orange and red as the light filters between the mountains surrounding the place.
"You want to talk about it?"
"Nope, I have given you my answer, Tobias.
We don't need to talk about anything." I state before walking over to Mom's rose bush.
Tobias goes back inside before I sit on the concrete path.
What would Mom think about all this? I wonder, staring at the blooming bush.
I know she would have told them to get fucked, probably even smacked them one.
I smile just thinking about it. She was a tough woman.
She never would have allowed me to get into this mess..
I lay down on the concrete and peer up. The red and orange streaks across the sky now, fighting to be the dominant colors, but soon blue will rule it all.
It's beautiful, but in a way, lonely. Is it a preview to what my life will be? Regardless of what I want, will those two dominate me and force me to submit? The silence around me is oppressive.
I have a mindset that challenges everything, including myself.
Every decision I make, everything I have ever said, everything I have done.
The mind can indeed be a dangerous place to be trapped in.
Perhaps that is why mom never woke up? Had she been lost, trapped in her own thoughts and unable to fight her way back to me?
These were the same thoughts that used to play through my mind after the accident.
I wasn't enough for her to come back, for her to stay.
I sniffled, hot tears running down my cheeks, and onto the ground.
I close my eyes. "Tears won't bring her back, tears won't fix anything, they are weak, don't let anyone see you're weak.
" I mentally scold myself. My tears dry up as I become angered by my own weakness.
I stare up at the sky blankly, clearing my mind of everything, just focusing on my own breathing.
I was never one for quiet and calm. My thoughts out here are already becoming as destructive as my life. They are going to send me to insanity.
I pick myself off the hard ground, sitting up and wiping the remains of the tears away.
What am I doing getting lost in my thoughts like this?
I need to get out of here before it’s too late.
There has to be a way away. Tobias hasn't checked on me in ages. Can I walk away right now and slip out of this prison? I’m going to die if I don't, so what do I have to lose if I don't try?
Maybe I can fool them, make their guard drop.
I have to do something. But first, time to check on my captors.
I walk inside. Tobias is in a blue suit, gathering his things but not paying too much attention to me. I focus on the love I have for my mom, this will be a test. "Work?" He nods. I walk over and do up his tie. Maybe this is my chance. I don't ask about Theo, that would be too obvious.
He puts his hands over mine, studying me. "Are you up to something?" I shake my head. I’m not, yet. "You need to get some rest, and before you ask, no you can't come to work with us."
Us, so Theo is already gone, good to know. "I think we need to have a talk about everything when you get home." I raise my head, staring into his eyes. "I haven't changed my mind, but I want us to be honest with each other about all of this."
I’m prepared for him to be angry at me, but instead he grabs his keys and gently kisses the top of my head. "Sleep, Imogen. We will talk when we get back." He heads out the door and I trudge up the stairs, pretending to obey.
He turns at the door, calling out to me. "What are you thinking about right now?"
"Going to bed. Why?" I focus harder on the love I have for Mom, letting it flow over me like a shield.
"Nothing, your emotions are all over the place. I can stay if you like."