Chapter 7 Cole #2
His apartment is stunning. Beautiful decorations adorn everything, from the couches with matching pillows and blankets to his all-teal kitchen.
Hell, he even decorated the entryway from his front door to the living room.
He has a reddish-brown shoe rack up front that has an enormous glass bowl with candy in it and some pictures placed on top.
The candy caught my attention right away because I figured his apartment would have candy all over it.
Seeing it as soon as I walked in made me laugh so hard before I quickly stuck my hand in to grab a few pieces and shove them into my pocket.
“To be honest, I don’t invite many people over. It’s more of a space for me, so I usually go over to other people’s places. That way, when I get overwhelmed, or my social battery dies, then I can make an excuse to hurry and leave.”
My fingers drag along the back of the couch as I walk around it. “I love that. Knowing that you have a space that’s just yours and you want to honor it.”
“Is it hard having a roommate?” Bash asks, taking a seat on his leather couch.
I plop down on the space beside him, shaking my head.
“No. I swear it’s like Oak and I are two halves of one whole.
I never get tired of him. Actually, no, that’s a lie,” I laugh, thinking of our argument over his shoes.
“There are a few things he does that irritate the shit out of me, but never enough to make me not want to live with him. I’m pretty sure I have a few annoying habits to him too, but never something so bad that either of us would want to move out. ”
Bash turns to face me, tapping my knee in quick succession. “Can I ask you a personal question? And you can one hundred percent tell me to shove it, and I’ll drop it.”
“Shit,” I chuckle nervously, “you’re worrying me.”
“Oh, it’s nothing bad. I was just wondering something.”
He smiles softly, and I can guarantee that I already know what he’s going to bring up. It’s the same thing that everyone always has to say at least once.
Oakley.
Or rather: me and Oak.
“Go ahead,” I tell him, getting comfortable on his couch.
“Now, I know you’ve said time and time again that you and Oak aren’t dating or anything, and I know I’ve already asked if anything was going on between you, but have you ever thought about it? Every time I see you two together, I can’t help but think how good you would be together.”
“Thought about it?” I repeat like an idiot. To be honest, have I ever thought about it? I don’t think I have. “Um. No. At least I don’t think so.”
“I mean, you have to agree that you both seem to do things that most couples do.” He chuckles as though I should be easily following what he’s talking about.
“Like what?”
He stares at me with wide eyes, his hands moving around as he talks. “Uh, holding hands? The forehead kisses? That’s like peak relationship territory.”
My heart races as I try to think about what Bash is saying. “We’ve always been this way. For as long as I can remember. Hell, I’m pretty sure we held hands the first day we met. We’ve always been close. I’ve never seen it as anything else but friendship. I thought most best friends were like that.”
Bash snickers, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Not any best friends I’ve had. Okay, let me ask you this. What would you do if I kissed you on the forehead?”
Wrinkling my nose, I’m already shaking my head before the words even leave my lips. “Nah, that’s not the same thing.”
Bash laughs loudly, and I chuckle alongside him. “Okay, why not?”
“I don’t know. We haven’t known each other as long as Oak and I have, so that just sounds weird as hell. I mean, you’re not like going to try it or anything, right?”
“No.” Bash blows a raspberry, closing his eyes. “I’m sure you hear this over and over. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry.” I lean forward, placing my hand on his knee. “Trust me, you’re not the only one who has asked.”
“So, do you have a girlfriend or something? I would hope not, since I’ve never met her and you’ve never talked about a girlfriend, so hello to hiding her if you are.”
Fucking Bash. I swear this guy can make me laugh so much. Even when he’s not even trying, I tear up from laughing so hard. “No, there’s no girlfriend.”
Bash leans back on the pillow, turning his head to face me. “Have you ever had a girlfriend?” he whispers, my heart stopping at his question.
“A couple,” I tell him honestly, pulling at the small thread on his throw pillow. “But, uh, they didn’t last long. I don’t know whether it was them or me.” I take a deep breath before quietly adding, “Probably me.”
“Can I ask you another personal question?”
“Jeez,” I chuckle, leaning back against the couch. “How many personal questions do you have?”
“Oh, honey, I have a ton. But I won’t ask them all tonight. I promise.”
Waving one hand in a go-ahead gesture, I smile and say, “Okay, ask away.”
“Are you sure you’re straight? I mean, if you are, that’s good, but I don’t know… I just get the feeling that there’s more to you than meets the eye.”
I think about what Bash is saying and how his words echo what I’ve told myself plenty of times in the past. Feeling safe in his presence, I start talking, “Saying I’m straight is a lot easier than saying I don’t know.
I mean, growing up, it’s always been either you like girls or you like boys, or you like both.
But I don’t know. I’ve never really felt that way with anyone.
From what I’ve been told, you look at someone, and you just have a gut feeling that you’re attracted to that person or that you want to fuck them.
I don’t know what that feels like, so when people ask, it’s just easier for me to say I’m straight since they need the label. ”
“Hmm,” Bash replies, sitting quietly. My mind races, wondering what he’s thinking when he finally speaks again. “Ya know, what you feel is completely normal.”
A record scratch sound fills my head as I stare at him. “What?”
“Yeah, not everyone has an attraction that way. Some people don’t even feel attraction until they’ve gotten to know a person on a deeper level. There’s no rulebook to this, Cole. Everyone is different.”
“Wow.” I’m speechless. I’ve always just assumed you have to feel a certain way, and I’ve never felt that. And I haven’t wanted to open the door and say I don’t feel the same way that others do.
“That’s why I was asking about Oak. I’ll say it again: you guys act like a married couple. Without the kissing and sex, of course. Have you ever thought of him that way?”
“Um, I mean, there have been times when I’ve thought that Oak is my soulmate. Like I said, he’s my other half, but that’s it.”
“Hmm, try to kiss him.”
“Bash!” I laugh, grabbing the throw pillow and smacking him with it. “What the hell?”
He shrugs, laughing loudly. “I’m just saying to try it. Maybe it will change things.”
Exhaling deeply, I fall back down on the couch. “I wouldn’t want things to change with him, though. And a kiss would definitely change things.”
“Maybe,” Bash mumbles. “I get it, though. With everything you’ve told me, maybe there are some things about yourself you don’t even know.”
“Seems as though there is. Thanks for that,” I deadpan.
“Hey, I said it was a personal question. I probably should have added that it would make you question all of your life choices as well.”
“Well, now it’s my turn to ask you a personal question.
” I don’t even care to know the answer to this question, but I want to get the spotlight off me.
My heart is beating way too fast, and all I can think about is what would happen if I kissed Oak?
Would I actually feel passion for someone?
Or would it be like every other kiss I’ve experienced, where I hyped it up in my head only for it to be bland or unexciting?
He grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly. “You can ask me anything. I have nothing to hide.”
“How many boyfriends have you had?”
“Phew, I thought you were going to get even more personal than that,” he laughs loudly, me chuckling alongside him. “I’ve only had a handful. Way too much drama.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
“Once,” he whispers, he turns to face me, his eyes going from sad to angry in the blink of an eye. “Fuck him, though.”
“Ended badly?” I ask, secretly hoping he gives me more details. I feel no shame in admitting my desire to know more. Being extremely nosy, I can tell a juicy story is behind this. Bash stays silent, and I quietly scoot closer, giving him puppy-dog eyes.
“You could say that. He was my stepbrother. But as I said, fuck him.”
“Oh,” I reply, not knowing what else to say.
His stepbrother? Oh shiiit, I can tell he doesn’t like to talk about it, but dammit, I want to know so much more.
Like, who is he? How long did it last? Where’s he at now?
But instead of saying any of the million things that are running through my head, all I say is, “I’m sorry, that sounds tough. ”
“It’s whatever. Fuck him.”
“Yeah, fuck him.”
Damn, what I wouldn’t give to know that story.