Chapter 3
Damien kept his gaze fixed to Alissende in the wake of his pronouncement, experiencing a kind of clutching sensation in his gut at the wave of vulnerability he saw sweep over her exquisite face.
It followed hard upon his very visceral awareness of the way she’d reacted to his speaking her name aloud.
He’d had the foreknowledge to brace himself for the moment, conscious of the fact that he had not uttered it yet this day—that in truth it was the first time the sound of it had passed his lips in five years.
Yet she said nothing in response.
“Six months?” It was her mother who broke the silence, her tone indicating how insulting she found his stipulation.
“Aye.” He readied himself for the challenges he knew would come now, not only from Lady Blanche but also from Father Michael, and perhaps even from Ben.
Whether or not Alissende would protest remained to be seen.
“Six months will provide time enough for you to find a more suitable and lasting spouse. One to whom Alissende can be married as soon as an annulment between us becomes official.”
“How can you be so sure that the Church will grant you an annulment, Damien, after a full half year of a marriage lived openly at court?” Ben argued. “Rescinding a sanctioned union is a complicated and holy process, and not as simple as wishing it so.”
“Arranging a proxy is normally complex as well, and yet it seems to have been expedited quite smoothly in this case.” Damien gave Father Michael a pointed look, drawing an answering flush into the young man’s cheeks.
“But if Alissende’s cousin is not able to exert his influence again, my second requirement should take care of any difficulty.
It is this: I will not perform the public oath and ceremony that is necessary to make me a husband in truth.
We will need to attest to society at large that vows were said, but that they were not in actuality will aid our cause to extricate ourselves from the union when the six months have passed. ”
He paused for a beat before adding quietly but definitively, “Also, I will not call Alissende by the title of ‘wife’ in public or in private, though I will do my best to ensure by my demeanor that none have doubt in considering her as such.”
Michael made a sound in his throat. “You cannot be serious about such a small matter,” he reproached, and it was clear that he thought the portion of Damien’s condition had sprung from spite, in retribution for the pain Alissende had dealt to him in their past.
But it wasn’t. Referring to her by that title atop the pretense of all else would simply be more than Damien could bear, and he knew it. He leveled his stare at Michael. “I assure you that I am in earnest about it.”
A stunned silence settled over the chamber again; it was so still, in fact, that Damien could hear the songbirds outside the castle walls.
Alissende remained quiet, turning slightly away from him to avoid his gaze.
That was just as well, he decided, for this was difficult enough without the complication of those old emotions—vestiges of long ago that had no bearing now, he reminded himself—pulling at him.
It was Lady Blanche who finally bridged the gap once more, exhaling with a sound of irritation and crossing with brusque steps to one of the mullioned windows.
She gazed out of it for a moment until she was seemingly able to bring herself into some semblance of control again, then she twisted her face to him, her expression sharp.
“You have quite glibly offered up countered terms, Sir Damien, but you have overlooked one key aspect that neither your best intentions nor the Holy Mother Church has the power to undo.”
He raised his brow, inviting her to continue.
“You have made no mention of the babe that might result from your six-month union.”
Alissende’s flinch in response to that sent a tingle of warning through him, but he had no time to contemplate its import as her mother finished, “Will you be able to as easily walk away from your own flesh and blood should Alissende find herself with child when the allotted time is up?”
Damien thrust that bittersweet image from his mind, subduing the twisting sensation it set off inside him. He had known from the moment he’d decided to stay that he would need to address this, but the reality of doing so suddenly seemed far more difficult than he had anticipated.
“Scoundrel that I am, my lady, even I am not so reprehensible,” he managed to say, somehow keeping his true feelings tightly reined. “There will be no child—because the marriage will remain unconsummated.”
That finally managed to draw Alissende’s gaze back to him, punctuated by her soft gasp, but he did not look fully at her until he had finished saying, “That is my fourth term of agreement, and as such it will provide even more compelling grounds for annulment when the time comes.”
Then he did allow himself to look at her, forcing himself not to react to the emotions he saw shadowing her eyes.
Disbelief had brushed her cheeks an enchanting pink, and her mouth was slightly open, inviting thoughts he could not allow himself to indulge.
She was angry now—and stricken too, unable to shield her expression from him before he saw the depths of her hurt.
And why wouldn’t she be? You know the truth as well as she. This term is a moot one, for your union with her was consummated long ago—sweetly, tenderly…and, ah yes, passionately too—many, many times over….
The mocking voice taunted him, pushing those delicious memories to the forefront of his mind. He tried to hold them back, but they came flooding through his resistance, making his gut clench anew and almost preventing him from standing firm before her.
He kept his gaze fixed to Alissende, to see what, if anything, she had revealed to her mother or the rest of the world about just how much they had shared during that sultry, enchanted summer.
But except for the delicate flush on her face, she remained stoic.
In fact, in the next instant, she seemed to undergo a transformation of sorts.
Her expression tightened—hardened, even—and the tumult in her eyes cooled; it might have almost made him feel a twinge of shame at what he’d just done.
Almost, but not quite.
He dragged his gaze away from her long enough to note the others in the chamber. Ben and Michael both seemed somewhat abashed at this latest of his terms, while Lady Blanche looked nothing less than relieved.
Alissende had not told any of them the full truth about his intimacy with her, then.
That realization sank like a fist in his belly; he couldn’t decide whether he felt annoyed or thankful that she’d kept silent.
It did not matter, of course, for her discretion in the matter was what was allowing him to proceed now with this damnable plan into which he had become so deeply embroiled.
He would learn more about the whys of her silence later, when they spoke in private.
Right now, everyone seemed to be waiting for her to make clear her decision about the terms he had imposed upon their potential alliance.
She did not disappoint. Just moments ago, her demeanor had shifted from that of the vulnerable, somber beauty she had seemed upon her arrival in this chamber to a woman of composure and cool detachment, even more breathtaking for the strength that seemed to radiate from deep within her.
Now she spoke with all the self-assurance of the noblewoman that she was, standing slender and elegant before him. “You have stated four terms, sir. Are there others?”
“Nay.” Damien met the challenge of her stare with the heat of his own. “They comprise all.”
“Very well, then. I accept your offer.” Her chin tilted a hair’s breadth—enough, he realized with amazement, for the regal impression she had cast moments ago to suddenly increase tenfold.
“For the space of six months you will act as my husband and protector against Lord Harwick or any other who may seek to coerce me. If you fulfill that duty with competence, then at the end of that term you will be released from all ties to me.”
He never broke his stare as he tipped his head mockingly, his voice resonating with dark promise as he answered, “Never fear, lady. When I have done with my part of this bargain, no man, knight, or lord will dare even to think upon you improperly without fear of the consequences. You will be well protected with me, I vow it.”
He thought he caught a flicker of something in her eyes once more as he spoke those last words, and he saw with certainty the way her lips tightened. Yet she did naught but offer him a clipped nod in response.
Father Michael, Ben, and Lady Blanche remained quiet, but it was impossible not to feel the almost palpable ebbing of tension that spread in the wake of this resolution.
Still, before another easy breath was taken, Alissende stepped brusquely toward the door, turning her head to call to him, as she reached the portal, “A servant will be sent to inform you when I am finished readying the lord’s chamber that is yours now by right.
Until then, there is time enough to call for some refreshment if you wish. ”
And then she was gone, slipping into the corridor and leaving him to do as she’d bid or not, as he pleased.
If he hadn’t been so conflicted about all that had just transpired here, he might have smiled in grudging admiration.
She was remarkable, turning the tables on him just now in what seemed little more than the blink of an eye.
With her calm, matter-of-fact manner, she had somehow shifted the power in their developing struggle for control firmly back into her own graceful hands.
For now, anyway.