Chapter 8 #3
The last part was spoken with a darker edge, as if it left a bitter taste in his mouth, and Alissende’s heart twisted.
Damien paused again, looking away, and her agony intensified.
Naught could be gained by revisiting the sordid details of that awful day, she reminded herself.
Naught but more misery and regret. It would change nothing, and—
“The past is over, Alissende,” he continued quietly, breaking into her troubled thoughts, “and only the present need concern us. I can manage the old shadows as well as the impending dangers, as long as I can trust that you will not act as an adversary to me for these months we are constrained to live together.”
The subtle shift of tension in his voice startled her, and she met his gaze, feeling breathless at the piercing look in his blue eyes.
“It is one of the subjects about which I desired to speak with you when I asked you to meet me here in the solar,” he went on. “Now that the first confrontation with Hugh is past, I believe we should try to approach what is to come from a position of strength. Of one mind, if such is possible.”
“I do not consider you an adversary, Damien,” she admitted softly.
Far from it, in truth.
Those additional words echoed in her heart, but she forbore speaking them aloud.
“That is good,” he murmured. He seemed as if he would say something further, but instead he silently reached out to brush his thumb over her cheek with a gentle touch, startling her enough by his action that it was all she could do not to tip her head into the caress of his palm.
In the next instant his fingers swept back, cupping her face and taking, in effect, the very action that she had longed to commit herself.
This could come to naught, a voice inside her whispered.
Sweet heaven, it couldn’t, but his touch upon her felt exquisite, sending a tingle of sensation from the back of her head down to her toes.
Of their own volition, it seemed, her hands lifted, one of them coming up to rest lightly against his ribs and the other moving up his arm to his shoulder, as she slid by memory into the familiar contours of his embrace.
They both paused, then, holding very still, and Alissende wondered if Damien was as surprised as she was at how easily they had fallen into this pose again.
He had not lowered his hand from her cheek, and though it filled her with guilty pleasure to do so, she closed her eyes, soaking in the feeling and not daring to look at him for fear that she would be lost completely if she did.
For a long moment neither spoke; they just stood there, with no sounds audible other than their gentle breathing.
When she could bear it no longer, she at last opened her eyes, only to feel the heat inside her bloom anew with the realization that he was staring down at her with that same expression she had seen in his gaze on the night of their feigned wedding feast.
Heaven save me from a certain fall…
“As long as the terms of our temporary union require us to spend this time together,” Damien finally said, “behaving by all appearances as a newly married pair, perhaps we should endeavor to try to…enjoy each other’s company more fully than we have been doing.”
“As a newly wedded pair,” she echoed, mesmerized by the delicious tension winding ever tighter between them.
“Aye, that is what we are supposed to be.”
He ceased speaking then, but his head lowered a bit, and then a bit further, his chin tipping down as if he was readying to kiss her, by all the angels and saints…
Through the flood of sweet confusion that knowledge unleashed inside of her, Alissende somehow retained sufficient awareness—and spirit—to slow his progress by whispering, “We are supposed to appear as such to others, is that not correct?”
“That is the idea,” he murmured, his mouth hovering so close to hers, now, that she felt the teasing warmth of his breath on her lips as he spoke.
“But there is no one in the chamber now, Damien. Except for us.”
That made him stop altogether. Frozen to a halt, with his lips so close to hers that she could almost taste his kiss.
Ah, but she yearned to press forward, to accept without question that tempting caress. But her doubts and bruised emotions begged her to be strong, to resist him if she could. Her heart was pounding so that she thought it might leap from her chest as he pulled back just enough to look at her.
Another bolt of heat shot through her at the frustrated passion smoldering in his gaze. Yet in the space of another few breaths, amusement softened his expression, followed hard upon by reluctant acquiescence.
He would not pursue this further. For now, at least.
The phrase echoed in her mind, reminding her that Sir Damien de Ashby had never been the type of man to give up anything without a fight. And she knew that she would need the aid of more than heaven’s angels or saints should he decide to make her the focus of his attentions in this way.
“I concede your point, my lady,” Damien said at last, though his husky words sounded like anything but surrender.
His mouth quirked into that sensual half smile that never failed to make her stomach feel as if it were dropping to her toes.
“Instead, I will raise the second topic I wished to discuss with you here today.”
Alissende found that she needed to swallow before she could speak, to ease the dryness in her throat.
“Is it tied, perchance, to what you were saying just a moment ago?” she asked a bit croakily.
“For if it is, I must ask you to release me before we continue—lest I be unable to continue,” she added under her breath.
“In a way it is connected, aye.”
He still looked as if he was up to something, though he stepped away from her after a few more delicious moments and moved back toward the window.
She waited for him to expand on this second topic he’d mentioned, studying him through slightly narrowed eyes as she attempted to determine where he was going with this and why.
“It involves the two of us working together toward the common goal of thwarting Lord Harwick. However, our success will require you to undertake what many would consider an unorthodox pursuit.”
Well, if that didn’t sound like something she should avoid as if her life depended upon it. Knowing Damien, it likely was, and she couldn’t quite prevent the flare of excitement that swept through her at the prospect of hearing his proposition.
“What is it?” she asked, with as much caution as she could muster.
“It is to engage in a special kind of instruction with me. The sort that will aid you in protecting yourself against Hugh’s intimidation, should the need arise again. You and I will both rest easier knowing that you possess some means to defend yourself in the future.”
After you are gone from my life again, only this time forever.
The words taunted Alissende, but she pushed them aside, focusing on her initial reaction to his suggestion.
“Such a thing is not possible, Damien. I do not possess the strength to oppose any man in a physical battle of wills, let alone Hugh, who is as well trained and nearly as powerfully built as you are.”
“When I have finished with you, you will be able to use the skills you have learned against even me, should you wish it. Though of course you would only be successful if I was not prepared for your attempt…which, I must confess, will never be the case. It is only proper to give you fair warning.”
His eyes twinkled as he spoke, and she was caught in a rush of sweet emotion at being offered this glimpse of Damien’s playful side again after so long.
Smiling with him, she shook her head, impressed at his seeming ease in shifting her mood away from her earlier pensiveness, while at the same time unable to subdue her skepticism concerning his idea.
“What?” he asked in response to her dubious expression. He placed his hand over his heart in mock injury. “I am wounded to know that you doubt me, lady. Truly.”
Now she did laugh. “Ah, Damien, you cannot honestly believe that you can teach a woman to free herself from the grasp of a warrior who has been trained almost from the cradle to capture, fight, and kill. I have heard of women leading garrisons in defense of their lands in their husbands’ absence, but I never knew of one who boasted the ability to meet a man successfully in an individual confrontation. Where did you get such a notion?”
“In Egypt, when I and a score of other Templar Knights passed through the Beni Hasan region.”
“What?”
“In that place, there are those who practice an ancient form of defense that includes several hundred forms of holds, strikes, and escapes. The techniques are fundamental and very useful, and the men there have taught many of those skills to their women, for their protection in times of war.”
Alissende looked at him in disbelief. “You are in earnest about this, aren’t you?”
“I am, for I know it can be done.”
She did not answer again right away. But the idea he was proposing had begun to work its influence on her, as he’d likely known it would.
She had abandoned anything that had even hinted at impetuousness in the past five years, but Damien no doubt remembered well how she used to relish spontaneous and sometimes outrageous actions when she was younger.
And this would have a pragmatic use, at least, if it proved as fruitful as Damien seemed to think.
“So, Alissende, what say you—will you agree to let me instruct you in this?” he asked. “It will require a daily commitment at first, as you become accustomed to the movements and positions.”
In that moment she knew that she would do it, though it would look more than strange to any who might happen to stumble upon them in the process. However, that could be addressed easily enough.
She met his gaze. “If you wish it, Damien, then I will attempt to learn these unusual skills you are advocating. However, I think it would be best if we undertook the training somewhere private, away from curious eyes and meddling tongues.”
“I am relieved, lady,” he said liltingly, “and pleased as well, to have your accord in this, though I am afraid I cannot comply with your request for privacy.” Damien shook his head in a show of regret as he spoke the last, though the effect of it was ruined when he grinned at her.
She was still coping with her astonishment at his response when he turned and began to leave the chamber.
“Wait! Where are you going?” she sputtered, managing to pull herself together enough to glare at him and call more loudly to his retreating back, “and why in heaven’s name are you unable to comply with my request?”
He paused, half-twisting to face her when he was near the door. “To answer your first question, I am going to ready what we will need to commence your training. And in answer to your second question—I am not unable to comply with your request for privacy during the activity…I simply refuse to.”
Once again, Alissende was left speechless, choking out little more than a gasp, when he concluded his rude comment with an additional statement that, to her horror, made that first bit seem harmless by comparison.
“I intend to undertake your training quite out in the open, Alissende. Directly before the gazes of those ‘others’ for whom we are supposed to appear as a newly married pair, in fact.” He winked and grinned again. “I’ll leave you to make your own judgment as to why.”
And then he turned and strode out the door…leaving her standing in the solar with her mouth agape, her pulse hammering wildly, and her ears echoing with the faint yet unmistakable sound of his whistling, drifting back through the stunned silence he had left behind.