Chapter 36
36
I pride myself on good customer service. As the old saying goes, I leave my problems at the door when I come into work.
Right now, though, I’m ready to poison a customer’s coffee.
Cernach’s hateful eyes are glued on me while he orders his coffee at the front counter. He asks for it black, plain.
I dump five sugar packets inside his cup.
After he collects his coffee, he takes a seat at the table Damien normally sits at. I narrow my eyes at him, and a hint of satisfaction rumbles through me when he takes his first sip of coffee.
His face twists in disgust as he swallows it down. He whips his head toward me and glares.
I check my watch.
Fifteen minutes until my shift ends.
The asshole timed it perfectly.
He came in before Julian arrives for pickup, so he wouldn’t see him. But late enough where he wouldn’t have to wait long.
I’m shaky for the next fifteen minutes.
I spill two coffees and have to throw one out after realizing I used creamer instead of soy milk .
When my shift ends, I move to him with hesitation.
He’s here for me—that much is obvious. Knowing him, he won’t let up until I speak with him. Might as well get it over with in public.
“Pippa,” he greets when I approach him. “Fancy seeing you here.”
I plop down on the chair across from him and cross my arms. “What do you want, Cernach?”
“I thought I’d pay you a visit.” He forces an exaggerated smirk. “Check on my favorite niece.”
I scoff.
“You no longer live in your shithole apartment.”
“Stalking is illegal, you know.”
“It’s funny you believe I mull over what’s legal or not.” The gold rings on his fingers slide against each other as he levels his elbows on the table. Seconds later, he raises them at the realization that it’s sticky. “Your mother said you’re living with Damien now.”
I glare at him, choosing not to answer.
“I found your father.” He says this with too much smugness.
“Did you do something to him?” I hiss, leaning in closer.
He studies one of his gaudy rings. “Ask your little roommate, Damien.”
“Excuse me? I don’t appreciate mind games.”
“Damien knows what happened to him,” he tells me, boredom in his tone.
I flinch.
“Paul has a weak pain tolerance. I don’t know if you knew that.” He stretches out in the chair, pulling at the sticky syrup residue on his shirt. “He bled for a day before I eventually put him out of his misery.”
“Why?” I dig my nails into the bottom of the table. “He did nothing to you. ”
“Untrue.” He clucks his tongue. “He tried to blackmail me and your mother. I did it for her. For you . Be appreciative.”
I rear back. “You want a thank-you for murdering my father?”
“A thank-you. A box of chocolates. Your submission. All will do.”
“What will it take for you to get out of our lives?”
“Pippa, I’ll never be out of your life.” He scrubs the top of his lip. “Now, I got in contact with Vincent Lombardi, your little boyfriend’s boss. I wanted to discuss a contract between our families.”
I open my mouth, but he holds his hand up and continues speaking. “Vincent will only sign a contract with me if Damien agrees to marry you, which he declined. I want that alliance, and I won’t let you ruin it for me. Make yourself useful, spread your legs like a slut, and convince him to sign those papers.”
My hand burns to smack him across the face.
“Let’s make this simple, shall we?”
I give him the deepest death stare I’ve ever given anyone.
“We both know I have a tremendous amount of power over you, your mother, Lanie . If I want something, I get it, and I want you to convince Damien to marry you.” He taps the table three times. “Don’t make me force you. I’m never gentle.”
I jump up from my chair, my lungs feeling like they’re collapsing.
“You’re half a Koglin,” he rushes out. “Remember that. Women do what they’re told in this family.”
I hold my purse against my chest and dash out of Brew Bliss. Behind me, I hear Jane calling out, asking me if I’m okay.
I’m dying.
Hyperventilating.
Can’t breathe .
“Pippa? What the hell?” Julian asks when I swing open the door and jump inside his car.
“Go!” I scream at the top of my lungs before shoving his shoulder. “Go now!”
“What happened?” His attention darts to Brew Bliss, his hand moving to his gun in his waistband, as if he’s waiting to murder the next person who exits.
I loosen my shoulders, knowing I need to calm myself. “Nothing …” I swat at my shirt. “I started my period and need to get home.”
The tension in his face eases. “Should I stop and get you something?”
If I wasn’t in panic mode, I’d laugh. This Mafia killer is asking if we need to make a tampon pit stop. Maybe Damien is right about them caring about me and seeing me as their family.
Does he also know Cernach murdered my father?
“No,” I say quietly. “We don’t need to stop.”
I’m quiet as he drives me home. He collects his phone from the cupholder and texts—my guess is, he’s telling Damien something is wrong with me.
My phone vibrates in my purse, confirming my suspicion is correct when I read the text.
Damien: Julian said you’re upset?
I reply to him.
Me: Just started my period. Not feeling well.
Damien: Want me to come home?
Me: No. I’ll be okay. Probably take a nap.
When we’re home, I head straight to the bedroom. Luckily, my period story checked out because Julian didn’t ask any more questions.
As much as I want to collect my belongings, throw them in a bag, and leave, I can’t. With Julian downstairs, there’s no way I’m walking out the front door. Unless I jump out of a two-story window and dodge the perimeter cameras, I’m stuck here.
It doesn’t take long for Damien to step into the bedroom and softly shut the door behind him. He’s not wearing his blazer, and he loosens his cuff links as he strolls toward the bed.
“Did you know Cernach killed my father?” I ask coldly.
His expression remains unreadable as he comes closer.
“Did you know?” I bite out.
“Yes.”
My heart drops in my chest. “You didn’t think to tell me?”
He scrubs a hand over his jaw. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Oh, you didn’t want to hurt me?” I repeat around a long swallow. “You, out of all people, should know how bad it hurts for a parent to die, let alone have someone hide it from you.”
He jerks back, my words hitting him like a punch in the gut. “If there was a way for me to erase the hurt of losing my parents from my fucked-up brain, absolutely, I’d want that. No questions asked. It’s a never-ending pain.”
“You shouldn’t get to make that choice for me.”
“You’re right,” he says, his voice mellow. “I’m sorry.”
My heart shatters with sadness.
It’s also searing with anger.
Flip-flopping with which emotion is the strongest.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I whisper.
This isn’t what I want.
But it’s what needs to be done .
“Don’t say something you’ll regret,” he bites out, sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.
I choke back tears. “We need to end this. ”
Turning, he snatches my pillow and tosses it back into the same spot. “Go to bed. We’ll talk about this in the morning when our emotions aren’t so high.”
He’s being calm with me, something not of his usual nature.
“I’m serious,” I say, holding my ground.
“Go to bed,” he finally roars, his patience dwindling. “We’ll talk in the morning.” He sprawls out his legs, hanging his head between them, and lowers his voice. “Everything I do is to shield you from pain. Everything . You said it yourself. You thought your father was gone for good.”
“Gone for good but still alive.”
He shakes his head.
“Do you love me, Damien?”
He raises his head. “You know I do.”
“Break up with me, then.” Tears flood my eyes.
He jerks back. “Absolutely fucking not.”
“Please,” I plead, grabbing at his sleeve. “Cernach won’t stop until he gets his way. Until he gets a contract and you .”
“I took care of that. Vincent declined his request.”
“He knows Vincent only declined because of you. Cernach needs to know I can’t marry you because you don’t want me.”
He pulls away and stands. His nostrils flare. “I do fucking want you!”
I stare up at him in anguish. “Let me go. Don’t make me run.”
“I’ll kill Cernach, then. If you need him dead to make you happy, then that’s what I’ll do.” Spit flies from his mouth.
“You kill him, you start a war with the Koglins. I won’t let you do that. If you love me, do this for me. Don’t make me flee New York.”
“You’re giving us up, just like that?” He snaps his fingers with the last word.
I stand, inches from him, and place my hand over his cheek. His breathing is so hard that I’m waiting for his lungs to fly from his chest. I stare at him with the most heartache I’ve ever experienced in my soul.
“In another life, we’d be perfect together,” I whisper. “He killed my father. I’ll do nothing for him. Tell him you don’t want me, that you got tired of me and decided I wasn’t worth it.”
He violently shakes his head.
“I’m sorry, Damien.”
“You’re not sorry,” he grits out. “You’re being selfish.”
“If you’re not with someone when Cernach dies, maybe things will change.”
“I don’t want anyone else!” he screams.
“I’ll move my things back into my apartment,” I sob.
He walks away from me, moving away from the bed and snatching a bag from the closet. When he returns, he’s tossing his shit into it. “You’ll stay here.”
“I can’t?—”
His intense stare narrows on me. “I’ll crash at Antonio’s, and you’ll stay here until I get you a new apartment. You might be leaving me, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop protecting you.” His eyes are glossy as he throws the bag over his shoulder and kisses my forehead. “You’re making a mistake, but it’s your mistake to make.”
He leaves the bedroom, and I collapse to my knees, falling apart.
Removing Cernach’s control from my life means breaking my heart in the process. But I’ll sacrifice that happiness to make sure my father’s murderer doesn’t get what he wants from me.