Chapter 1
CHAPTER ONE
LILY
SIX WEEKS AGO
“Girls, I’ll catch you later,” I smile at them as I walk out of the coffee shop and towards the busy streets of London. The evenings are warm, summer is in full swing here and I am already feeling clammy from the warm sun.
My mind drifts back to the girls and how they've all found their happily ever after, and here I am, forty, a single mom and my love life is non-existent. I have tried online dating, tried speed dating, and even let the girls set me up with blind dates a few times, but they always fell short. I wasn't sure what I was looking for. I wanted someone that knew how to handle me. I can be a bit much, I knew that, but at the same time I was still deserving of love.
After my ex-husband left, well, I threw myself into being the best mum I could be for Callum, and when he became older, he didn't need me as much anymore. A few months after he left for college, I met the girls where Harper works, in Cakes and Roses, a small coffee shop turned book store. We were all down and out when it came to our love lives and after a few off the cuff meetings, we all came to find we had a strong love for the same thing.
Romance Books.
We were always guaranteed the happily ever after without worrying about getting it ourselves, but of course, all five of the girls found new boyfriends and here we are.
They're all loved up.
And I'm still alone.
Sighing, I hold my hand out when I see the black cab roll to a halt and I give him a smile before reciting my address and closing the door behind me.My phone pings and I know it's one of the many dating apps I am on, but I ignore it. I was in no mood tonight to even start looking into it.
I had got myself in a bit of a mood and it wasn't anyone’s fault but my own.I think I am a little envious maybe? Which I know is perfectly fine to feel, I am allowed to feel robbed of an experience.
My phone beeps again and this time I know it's the girls.Slipping it out of my bag, I read the messages as they try and pencil in our next week’s book club and wait for them to battle it out for the dates. It was no issue for me. I worked from home and could pretty much do what I wanted to, when I wanted to.
No one knew what I did for work, not even the girls.
Not sure why, but I think I just felt a little out of my comfort zone.It wasn't the normal thing, but it paid well.
Pushing my phone back into my bag, I passed the driver his cash and slipped out of the door and into my Kensington townhouse.
I built this home brick by brick, layering the foundation for my son.
He was to be left everything.
Slipping the key in the lock, I push the door and sag against it as I close it behind me then discard my bag to the floor.
“Callum?” I call out in the eerily quiet house and wait for his response but it never comes. Moving forward, I hook my bag on my coat hook and pace towards the large kitchen that runs across the back of my home.
The cooker hood lights are on and there are two bottles of beer sitting on the side, half drunk.
Ezra is here .
Ezra is Callum—my twenty-two-year old son’s—best friend. They met in the last year of senior school before going onto college together and well, they're inseparable.
Opening the fridge, I drag out a left-over salad dish and tuck into it at the dining room table.
Washing it up, I place it on the draining board and then make my way upstairs to the third floor, where no doubt the boys are gaming.The whole of that floor is Callum's gaming room. He streams on socials and earns money doing it, so I agreed to give him the space that he so desperately wanted.
Hovering outside the door for a moment, I give it a gentle knock before twisting the handle and there he is. My green-eyed boy.He turns to look at me, dimpled cheeks and a glisten in his eyes, whilst wearing a headset that is lost in his long, floppy blonde hair.
“Hey mum,” he slips them off and turns in his chair to see me.
“Hey bud, you okay?” I step into the room and only then does Ezra turn to face me.
Pale skin, ice blue eyes; messy, long, black hair and tattoos painted over his arms.
“Mrs Stanley,” the rasp of his voice has my skin pricking in goosebumps and my stomach coiling.
I don't know when it happened, but something seemed to have shifted between me and my son's best friend as he’s gotten older.
He was a little more attentive, seemed to be more interested in me and my day... but then again, he was probably just being polite. No doubt Callum has told him I am so up and down and to tread carefully.
I mean, he isn't wrong.
I am up and down.
I'm blaming hormones and my age.
I give them both a subtle nod before stepping back.
“You both okay?” I ask, eyes bouncing between the both of them and they nod.
“Yeah all good, got a late stream tonight so Ezra is gonna crash here, is that okay?”
“Course,” I smile softly at Ezra and then focus on Callum. “I've got some work to do myself so I'll catch you both at some point tomorrow, okay?”
Callum responds before turning his back but Ezra hovers is eyes on me for a moment and I don't miss the way they sweep over my body. My cheeks flame and I dip my head before he notices.
Pursing my lips, I step back and close the door behind me.
Moving downstairs, I reach for my phone and then lock the front door on my way back upstairs and only when am I in my room, exhale a shaky breath.
I shouldn't be affected by my son's best friend in this way.
Yet here I am.Burning for him.
But he must stay a fantasy. I could never go there with him.
Ever.