Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
W e arrived at Gimmelwald in the Jungfrau region of Switzerland midmorning on a Wednesday after an early four o’clock start. The Swiss Alps are beautiful any time of the year, whether they are covered in snow or lush green grass.
August had been cool to start with, but a cold change had come in, dialing it down even further. According to the weather report, the last three nights had been cold enough to blanket the top of Jungfrau Mountain with a good foot of snow—not unheard of in this region, but not usual either.
The hotel we stayed at had nailed the typical Swiss-chalet architecture and looked every bit as quaint and cozy as it was. Adaline, our host, would already have the fireplaces going and the butterscotch schnapps ready to hand out as we walked in the door.
“Okay, ladies and dirtbags, this is our home for the next two nights so you can unpack your things and make yourself comfortable. We have the entire hotel to ourselves. The bar will be open until two in the morning for those of you who are gluttons for punishment. I know the bar and log fire will be the main attraction, however, if anyone is interested, the Schilthorn cable car leaves from the top of the street and will take you up to Piz Gloria at the peak of the mountain. I can highly recommend checking out the spectacular views over the Alps.”
Several guests nodded, including Laura. With each passing day, the sadness that’d been plaguing her had gradually dissipated. And after Roman had worked his magic with her at the banquet, I’d even seen her laugh along with a couple of the ladies.
“The revolving restaurant at the summit is expensive but absolutely worth it. Any James Bond lovers here?”
A few hands were raised.
“The Bond film, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, was filmed here. If you decide to take the cable car, you also get free entry to Bond World 007 up there. For those of you who want a bit of exercise, there’s a second viewing platform halfway up the mountain and several fantastic hiking trails start there. But whatever you do, don’t get lost. We don’t fancy rescuing your asses off the mountain. Right, Roman?”
“Unless it’s a cute ass.” Roman flashed his cheeky smile as he looked up to the rear-view mirror.
“He can rescue my ass any day.” Belinda, the Californian beauty in the fourth row, was loud enough that everyone laughed. She chewed on her lip as she checked out Roman’s reflection.
“Right, now that Roman and Belinda have sorted that out, grab all your valuables. Gimmelwald is a no-traffic town, which means we have to walk from here. And Roman will have to take the bus to the parking lot down the street, so you won’t have access until we return on Friday. Let’s go. We’ve got a mountain to explore. But be careful—it’s a bit icy out there, so it can be slippery. ”
Once inside our hotel, Adaline, being the super-organized woman she was, managed to give everyone a delicious shot of schnapps along with the room keys and instructions in record time. Nearly everyone departed to their rooms, and I was chatting with Belinda and her room buddy, Elouise, also from America, when Roman returned from parking the bus. His expression as he approached the glass doors was gloomy. However, the second he entered, it shifted to something extraordinary—beaming smile, glowing eyes. Hello, Mr. Runway Model.
“Hey, ladies, do you need some help with your bags?” His gaze played over the two young women.
“We’re okay. Thanks, Roman,” Belinda said. The women fluttered their lashes, turned, and lugged their suitcases toward the lift.
“Don’t forget to call me if you get lost out there,” Roman called out to them as they stepped into the elevator.
“We will.” They giggled as the doors closed.
I should have been happy for him, being his wing-woman and all, but damn, if my stupid brain wasn’t jumping through some unprecedented jealousy hoops.
He was meant to be looking at other women.
But ever since our night dancing together, he’d barely looked at me. Oh, God. Maybe that’s it. He saw how much of a dork I am and wants nothing to do with me.
I didn’t blame him.
But why did it hurt so much?
Roman turned toward me.
“So,” I said.
“So,” he said right back at me.
My gut churned at how awkward we’d become. As usual, I’d taken something good and wonderful and turned it into something painful. Though I didn’t exactly know how.
“Are those my keys?” He reached forward .
“Oh, yep. You’re in room 211.”
“Great. Thanks.” He lowered his gaze to the floor.
“I’m in the room next door if you want me.” Oh, wow. Totally lame, Daisy.
“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” He strolled away, and my heart began to bleed.
In my room, I unpacked a few things and then stood at the window admiring the spectacular view. Down below, a few of the girls and guys from my group were having a snow fight. The girls, although squealing, were giving as much as they were getting.
A huge pang of jealousy whipped through me.
Why couldn’t I have fun like that? What was wrong with me?
Every time I had something good happening in my life it was yanked out from beneath me.
Maybe I should go home to Mother.
Oh, God, just the thought of it had a wave of darkness shrouding me. I sat on the bed and sent a text to Zali. ‘
Hey, babe, how are you going?
She didn’t respond, and I checked the time. Damn. It was about ten at night over there—she’s probably asleep.
I flipped open my suitcase and plucked out my toiletries bag. My notebook plonked onto the floor. I picked it up and strolling to the bed, I flicked to all the firsts I’d done last month. I reread the list. When I got to Pierre, I wanted to grab a pen and scrub out his name. He’d ruined it all.
Damn him. Damn him to hell for doing that to me.
Stop it, Daisy.
It wasn’t my fault. I wanted to scream.
I have punished myself enough. He used me. He. Used. ME .
But what Pierre had done solidified why I didn’t believe in love.
Love always had an ulterior motive—sex, power, someone to take out the rubbish.
A throb in my head started at the base of my neck and pounded behind my eyes.
The walls crept in, smothering me. I had to get out of there.
Grabbing my coat, I shoved my room key into my pocket and strode for the door. Without any idea where I was going, I raced through the lobby, only half aware of the rowdy group already at the bar, and out the front door.
The cool air hit me like a forcefield, but it was a welcome relief to the blaze burning my cheeks. I strode up the hill, a woman on a mission. Every step was like stomping on all the shit I grew up with. I needed a lot of steps.
Ten minutes later, I reached the entrance to the cable car ride. I bought a ticket and went to the station. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Roman. It died a second later when I spied Laura with him. She was smiling up at him, glowing.
Laura saw me and easing back from Roman, she looked at me in a way that suggested I’d interrupted something.
Maybe I had. After all, based on the non-existent queue, they were about to have the entire cable car to themselves until I’d ruined it.
I felt like a teenager again on the first day of school. I’d done that enough times in my life to remember the feeling. “Hey, Laura, how are you?”
“I’m okay. Thank you.” Laura had a scarf around her neck and a pink beanie with a white pom-pom on her head. Her cheeks were flushed, and she’d glossed her lips with a delicate shade of pink. She looked so cute and happy; it was impossible to believe she was the same woman I’d met on day one of our tour.
It suddenly hit me. The other night at the banquet, I’d been paying attention to Susan flirting with Roman, but maybe it was Laura I should have been watching.
A bell shrilled to announce the arrival of the cable car.
“Say, you know what?” I made a show of checking my watch. “I’ve got to, ummm, do something. I’ll leave you two to head on up.”
“Come on, Dais. It’ll be fun.” The tone of Roman’s voice suggested that he really wanted me to say yes.
I hadn’t expected his invite, and by the way Laura was blinking up at him, I think she was surprised too. “Please, Daisy,” she said. “Come with us.”
Maybe my ability to read people wasn’t as finely honed as I’d thought because Laura’s request was upbeat and seemed genuine.
“Oh, um, are you sure?”
“Yes, of course,” they both said in unison, and the two of them burst out laughing.
The cable car spun around the turnstile, giving me barely five seconds to make up my mind. At the very last second, after Laura and Roman had stepped in, I joined them. Roman and Laura sat on one side, facing up the mountain. I sat on the other. Each car could seat eight people, but being low season, we were able to depart with just us three.
The car clunked and wobbled as it pushed through the mechanism securing it to the wire and the car swung back and forward as we released from the station and began our ascent up the mountain.
Laura slid toward the window. “This is so beautiful.”
“It sure is.” Roman stared at me as he said it.
Butterflies in my stomach took flight .
I was no expert on men, but the way Roman was looking at me, like he wished it was just the two of us sharing a romantic ride up the snowcapped mountain, gave me the impression he was interested in me. And not just interested—really, truly keen.
But it was pure rubbish. It had to be.
I’d seen him look at several women like that. Roman had just mastered the I’m-so-into-you look that had women melting in their panties. Me included. If Roman asked, I’d tear my underwear off in a heartbeat.
Oh, God! I have officially gone insane.
Then again, Daisy and sanity had been living on different planets since I’d met Roman.
Laura turned her gaze from the window, rescuing me from my delusional bubble. “I want to thank both of you,” she said. “This holiday has been much better than I thought was ever possible.”
Thankful for the distraction, I smiled at her. “You’re welcome.”
“I’m glad you’ve managed to have a good time,” Roman said.
“I contemplated not coming. But both of you helped me realize that what Richard did, leaving me like that, was a blessing in disguise.”
Roman nodded. “I think you’ll do just fine.”
She nodded and a frown drilled across her forehead. “Also, I’ve, ahhh . . .” She cleared her throat. “I’ve decided not to keep my baby.”
“Oh.” My stomach dropped. I had no idea she’d even been contemplating that decision, but when Roman started nodding, it confirmed she’d been discussing it with him.
“As long as it’s the right decision for you.” Roman tapped his hand on her arm. “And you’re not doing that because you think that’s what everyone else would want. ”
I blinked at Roman. How much had they talked about this?
“Thanks. Oh, I know this is what everyone wants. Especially Richard. And his horrible parents. They never liked me. Richard made it clear that he’d never be a real father for the child.”
Laura was so calm, it was a bit surreal. I would be a blubbering mess if I was in her shoes.
“But that’s not why I’ve chosen this decision,” she continued. “This holiday has made me realize how much I’ve been missing. Before this, I’d never even left my hometown. There’s a whole world out there . . .” She waved her hand at the snowcapped mountains in the distance. “. . . waiting to be explored. I’m only twenty-two. I mean, what was I thinking . . . getting married at my age.” She shook her head. “Crazy.”
Roman nodded and grinned at me. “You have a point there.”
“And to be a mom. I am so not ready for that.” She rubbed her belly. “Somebody will love him though. Or her.”
“Oh, you’re giving the baby up for adoption.”
“Yes, oh sorry.” Her eyes bulged. “Did you think I was having an abortion? God, no. I’d never do that. This little guy was made with love—the love just faded away, that’s all.”
It took all my might not to drop my jaw. The love didn’t just fade away. It wasn’t there in the first place. Not if he’d treated her like that when he found out she was carrying his child. That wasn’t love. Then again, I had no idea what love was.
Roman turned to her and gave her that little sister look that I’d foolishly thought he only reserved for me. “I’m pleased you’ve reached a decision.”
“You helped.” She smiled up at him then at me. “So did you, Daisy.”
“I did? ”
“Yes. Look at you—your life is amazing. You have so much fun. You’re not tied to anyone. You’re free. That’s what I want.”
Free?
If I was free, then why did I feel so trapped?