Chapter 1 Heron
Present day—
Rebel hated me.
She didn’t have to say it. I felt her emotions, and they churned inside her. A volatile mix that threatened to consume her from the inside out. Worse, she seemed at war with herself about it. I sensed that, too. Like she didn’t want to despise me; she just couldn’t help it.
The reason? I had no fucking idea.
Was it the way I could read her like an open book? Maybe.
Or how I could rile her up with only a few words, a look, or a grin? Yeah, definitely .
I got off on that shit when she tried to pretend that I didn’t affect her. She couldn’t suppress or hide her emotions. They were raw, palpable, and so obvious I could sense them from across the room.
We both knew this little game we played wouldn’t last much longer. The tension between us continued to climb higher, and when it reached its peak, I intended to be right there, getting her off since she wanted to deny we had any chemistry. Twelve goddamn months. I’d never met a woman as complicated, beautiful, or stubborn as Rebel.
The worst part? I couldn’t seem to get her out of my head. The more she denied me, the more determined I became.
Everyone noticed.
Living at the clubhouse only seemed to magnify the situation. My club brothers gave me shit and bet on my failure. The ol’ ladies sent curious glances my way. But it was the constant battle of wills that increased the tension the most. Seeing her every damn day was unavoidable and a curse as well as a blessing. Bella, Crow’s ol’ lady, became Rebel’s closest friend, which meant they were inseparable.
Like right now.
Bella stood beside Rebel as they faced a dartboard, taking turns while they played. I observed from my seat at the bar, leaning back against the wood’s smooth surface while my gaze swept the room, returning to Rebel often enough to ensure no one fucked with her. Not that anyone here would try.
I’d already finished three beers in less than twenty minutes, and now my focus rested on the blonde directly across from me. Rebel wore a pair of tight jeans that hugged her curves from hips to ankles while also molding to the thick swell of her ass, black boots, and a thin silver chain that wrapped her waist. I could only see it because the tiny tank top she wore ripped along the bottom half, showing off her tanned stomach and the ink on her bare skin.
Roses, thorns, ivy, and several skulls intertwined as they spread from her left shoulder to her wrist. On the right, a woman’s face surrounded by long waves of dark hair dripped blood, forming the wings of multiple butterflies. They flew above several tombstones, one with a date. Since the first day I noticed these, I wanted to ask her about them.
In my experience, ink was personal. I chose mine for specific reasons, and I had a strong feeling that the tattoos on Rebel’s right arm were symbolic to her. There was a story there, and I wanted to hear it.
Rebel picked up a dart. She paused before launching it, her hand poised to throw as her gaze cut across the room to mine.
I winked. Couldn’t fucking help it. Irritation and lust swept through her. When she didn’t turn away, my lips widened into a grin. Come to me , I called in my head. Not that she would.
Rebel appeared annoyed. Did I sense that? No. Her emotions seemed to become more inconsistent than usual, flipping so fast between them that I almost wasn’t sure which one she settled on. They nearly overwhelmed her, but one finally stood out above all the others: Yearning.
Fuck, baby. I’m right here.
She blinked several times, turning her head to focus on the game before pulling back her arm and releasing her dart, waiting until her arm extended in front of her to let go. A little snap of the wrist proved she knew plenty about the game. Her dart landed with precision—a perfect bullseye.
Rebel glanced back at me, a triumphant smile tugging at her lips.
I see you, Spark.
She bristled as I mouthed the words, no sound necessary to convey my meaning. Anger flared as she ignored me, finished the game, and headed outside with a beer.
I followed her. Of course, I fucking did. She knew I would. It wasn’t hard to predict.
Crows landed on the roof of The Roost as I entered the lot, hopping around and cawing as if to alert the world of my presence. It stopped being strange long ago, but I still wondered why they habitually felt the need to announce where I went.
Rebel’s delicate scent, a combination of orange zest and an earthy, woody, sweet perfume, alerted me to her location before I found her. She stood with her arms crossed, tapping her foot as I rounded the corner of the building and nearly bumped into her.
“Love, if you wanted to get me alone, you could have followed me down the hall to my room.”
Did I know my words would ignite a fiery response? Hell yeah.
“Don’t call me that,” she spat.
I lifted my hands, slowly moving closer. “I’m just trying to figure out why you act like you don’t want me around, but then you lead me outside to a dark corner where we can have privacy.”
“That’s not,” she paused, sighed, and dropped her arms. “You’re not getting the message.”
“What message is that, darlin’?” Moving closer, I caged her in as she retreated, bumping into the exterior wall. I left her room to escape if she wanted, but Rebel didn’t duck under my arm or retreat. My palms rested against the stucco facade as I lowered my head, dropping close enough to whisper into her ear. “You say one thing, but you mean another. Your body is sending me signals, and I know what they mean, Little Spark.”
I swear she fucking growled. “You’re delusional. You don’t know anything about me.”
“I would if you dropped those walls and let me in.”
Her hand pressed against my chest. I thought she’d push me away. She didn’t. The warmth of her touch heated the material of my shirt and sank into my skin. Instant arousal pulsed through my groin.
“Stop it.”
“Stop what?” I asked, grazing my nose across her jawline, forcing myself not to kiss my way to her soft lips.
“You’re trying to seduce me.”
“Am I?” I asked with humor, backing away enough to stare into the azure color of her eyes. So fucking pretty.
“Heron.”
Goddamn. My name on her lips was sweet fucking torture.
“Tell me the problem so I can fix it,” I murmured, holding her gaze.
“You can’t fix what’s broken beyond repair.”
That was an odd thing to say. It confused me. Worry, a hint of fear, and something close to regret leaked through as she turned her head, breaking our connection.
“Rebel.” I used her name, hoping she could hear the sincerity in my voice. “I don’t understand what you’re telling me.” My hand seemed to move without my permission, and I cradled the side of her face. “Don’t shut me out.”
Maybe it was all the dreams I’d had of her or how she dominated my thoughts almost every hour of the day. Or perhaps it was the pain I could feel she held back. But my thoughts shifted, and my past decided to force its way into the present. Memories of another young woman with the same innocent aura and pretty blue eyes lingered like a ghostly reminder of my regrets and failures. Cerys. Fuck.
This wasn’t the time to remember my ex or how fucked up I had been during the breakup. We ended our relationship a long time ago.
Rebel pulled away from me, and my hand dropped. “I’m asking you to leave me alone. Stop staring at me. Don’t follow me. Pretend I don’t exist.”
The fuck?
“Why? What the fuck is going on?” Yeah, that pissed me off. Concerned me, too. This wasn’t right.
Fear dominated her emotions as she shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Babe, you’re not making any sense. I’m not going to fucking pretend you don’t exist. You want me to keep my distance? Fine. I’ll give you space, but I’m not going anywhere.”
I felt a sliver of hope push through. She didn’t want what she said. So why say it?
“I’m here if you want or need me. And yeah, I don’t just mean my cock. You want held? I’m your guy. You need a shoulder to cry on? Come find me. Someone to talk to? I’ll drop whatever I’m doing to listen. That offer doesn’t have an expiration date.”
She blinked, turning her head to stare at me like she couldn’t believe the words. “Heron?”
“Yeah, Love?”
“It’s better if you walk away,” she whispered, blinking back tears.
Shit. In the year I’d known her, I never saw her cry until now. I fucking hated it. Someone hurt her, and I couldn’t help her move on if she didn’t give me a chance.
“Not happening,” I vowed. “Whatever this is,” I paused, gesturing between the two of us, “It’s more than just a fling. I can’t walk away.”
As quickly as the tears surfaced, they disappeared. She shoved all her emotions away, hiding the glimpse of the truth I’d gotten. “You’ll regret it. Lust is fogging your brain.”
Lust was only a tiny part of this.
I saw no point in denying I wanted her. Rebel turned me on with nothing more than a swish of her ass and a glare from across the room. I liked her sass. Hell, I wanted a woman with a bit of hellion in her blood.
But this? Knowing she’d been hurt in the past and it prevented her from giving me a chance annoyed and pissed me off. But I had to strangle those emotions because that only made me a selfish prick. I let that rule me in the past, gave into those emotions, and I lost someone I loved because of it. Cerys had been my whole fucking world before it fell apart. I didn’t want to make the same mistake again.
“Sure, I can’t wait to fuck you so hard that your thighs shake and you scream my name, but that isn’t my only motivation, Rebel.” I almost reached for her and decided I wouldn’t touch her again without her permission. Something kept tickling my senses, an awareness that she’d been harmed in a way I didn’t want to acknowledge. If she’d been hurt like that, I’d fucking lose my shit. “I want to know all about you. So when you’re fucking ready, you tell me. But you can be damn sure I won’t stop staring or being your shadow because I don’t know what the fuck happened, but I won’t let anyone else hurt you.”
A strangled sound left her throat before she launched herself into my arms. For about five seconds, I held her in my embrace, shocked that she sought comfort from me, even if it was brief. I dared to brush my hand down her spine and press her closer, hoping she understood that I wasn’t forcing myself on her—just the opposite. I wanted to be her champion, her protector. The guy she ran to when her world felt like it was caving in.
“If there was anyone, it would be you.”
Her whispered words gutted me as she sniffled and backed away, rushing from the spot where I had just lost my heart. Beside me, a crow landed. A deep kraa left his throat before a rattle shook his feathered chest. His emotions felt as conflicted as mine. Concern leaked through the bond we shared.
Rebel didn’t hate me. I’d been wrong. But she was hiding a dark secret, and I planned to do everything I could to gain her trust, expose the pain that held her back, and help her heal.
I came to The Roost to find out about my past. But now I understood that I was also led here for my future.