Chapter 5
five
Charlie
T hat kiss in Hawaii changed everything. He was no longer the Cash from my childhood who got embarrassed whenever I teased him. Or who glanced away if I caught him watching. My cheeks hadn’t stopped blazing since the moment he saw me on stage—and it was all because of the way he was looking at me. Smoldering better than Flynn Rider ever could.
My gaze flashed sideways to see if he was still doing it. Yup. Thirty feet away, he held my stare, no shame, even though he was surrounded by half a dozen college-aged girls, four of our guy cousins, and my brother Theo. Cash hadn’t let me out of his sight since the moment I’d walked into it.
Even here in Honeyville, with cars spewing gas fumes as they exited the gigantic parking lot, it still smelled like home. I squeezed my eyes shut and inhaled. Humidity and fresh-cut grass. Most people hate humidity, but after not experiencing it for so long, it felt like a warm blanket wrapped around my entire body.
Mom tipped my chin, forcing eye contact. “Hey, why are you so skinny?”
I tugged my chin loose and jerked my eyes downward, landing on her pregnant belly. It felt like a punch to the stomach. Mom was pregnant again. At thirty-eight. “Another baby, huh?”
“A girl.” Mom’s smile was soft. “A happy accident.” Great. She’d be another blond-haired, blue-eyed reminder that I didn’t belong in this perfect family. I was just a kid my Mom got by default when my biological dad sexually assaulted her.
I looked at Ashton, my adopted dad, from whom my three half-siblings had inherited their Scandinavian genes. “Happy accident?”
He chuckled under his breath. “Don’t worry.” He winked. “There won’t be any more of those. I took care of that.”
“Charlie,” Mom said, ducking to force eye contact again. “Why are you so thin?”
Ashton slid his arm around her waist and pressed a kiss into her hair. “Let’s let her be tonight,” he said gently. “She’s here now and she’s not going anywhere, right?” His eyebrow raised in question.
I chewed my bottom lip. “Right.” Where would I go? I was flat broke and too tired to run.
“I’m so happy you’re home,” Mom said. Though they hadn’t asked, they had to be wondering where Lorne was. Mom had glanced at my ring finger half a dozen times since I arrived. “Let’s run by Chick-fil-A on the way home. Get you a twelve-count nugget meal and a cookies and cream shake. How does that sound?”
My gaze skittered to Cash again, still watching me. “I’m going to ride home with the guys,” I said in a hush. I didn’t want to hurt her. But I couldn’t ride the hour home in the van with them, dodging the question-grenades she would undoubtedly lob at me the entire way. “I want to spend some time with Theo. They said we’re stopping at Five Guys.”
“You can’t all fit in the same car,” Mom protested. “We’ll come to Five Guys too.”
“Actually.” Dad chuckled. “Liam switched cars with Holden and Christy. They’re riding home in the minivan. Just like old times.” My cousins and I had taken many road trips in that van. Midnight McDonald’s runs, floating down the river, going to Uncle Ford’s beach house in Sandbridge. Dad squeezed Mom against him. “Let her go. We’ll see her at the house.”
They wouldn’t, but I wasn’t going to tell them that right then. Mom was struggling enough.
Dad kissed my forehead, his scratchy beard instantly taking me back to my childhood. “Do you need some money for food?” He already had his wallet out.
“Yeah,” I whispered, curling my shoulders in, hating myself a little. I was twenty-four years old, I shouldn’t be borrowing money from my parents. “I’ll pay you back. Gramps said he’d hire me to muck out stalls.”
Dad shivered like that was offensive. “You don’t need to pay me back. Stop that nonsense.” He shoved twenty dollars into my hand.
“Sweetie.” Mom smoothed a hand over my cheek. “You don’t need to exhaust yourself. Give it a few days.”
But I shook my head. “I need to work.” I couldn’t sit still. I didn’t deserve rest.
Dad pulled me into his arms. I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes, breathing him in. Aftershave and books. That’s what he smelled like. Always. And Mom’s perfume because he still, even after all these years, couldn’t keep his hands off of her.
Which is probably how she ended up pregnant again.
The thought of another baby made my eyes water. Or maybe it was being in my dad’s embrace. “I missed you.” It came out in a whimper.
His chest shook and for a second, I thought he was laughing. But then I realized he was holding in a sob. “We thought you might be dead.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I sniffed. “So sorry.”
“Why’d you stay away so long?” Mom asked behind me, her voice ripped with pain. I hid my face in Dad’s shoulder. When I didn’t answer, she wrapped her arms around Dad and me, making me the nucleus in the atom.
I’m sure concertgoers walking by thought this was weird. Awkward. Something to be done behind closed doors. They were probably right. But I couldn’t care just then. I was finally home. Even if I didn’t deserve to be.
“Chuck!” Theo called. I glanced over my shoulder to look at him. “You coming with us?”
I stepped back, breaking the three-way hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I didn’t give them a chance to respond—I turned and made a beeline for the guys.
I darted past Cash and followed the others. But Cash’s legs were longer than they used to be and in two strides, he caught up. He gripped my left back pocket like I was a skittish colt that might take off the first chance I got.
I gave him a look that said really ?
His gaze burned into me, sending an unspoken reply. Yes, and don’t fight me on this because you’ll lose.
I wish Lorne had loved me half as much as Cash apparently did.
Had I known Cash loved me before Hawaii? No. Hadn’t even occurred to me as a possibility. I told myself it was just a charged few minutes and he probably regretted it. Or maybe he only kissed me because he was mad I’d married Lorne. But the fourteen love songs he’d written and posted on his social media over the past year left no room for doubt.
Cash didn’t loosen his hold even as we came to the van and all the guys could see what he was doing.
“Bro, she’s not going to bolt,” Bowen said. Half his face was hidden under his wavy, dark hair that was cut into a style that should’ve been pulled into a man bun. But that was Bowen. Broody and mysterious.
They all chuckled awkwardly. But I couldn’t. It was taking all my effort not to combust from Cash’s unrelenting smolder. Or the way they were all gawking at his possessive behavior.
“Shut it,” Cash breathed. “I haven’t seen her since Hawaii.”
“None of us have,” Bowen said.
“It’s different for him, Bozo,” Griffin said. “You know it is.”
“We missed you, Charlie,” James said in a placating tone.
Liam tossed his head up, knocking his blond surfer bangs out of his eyes. “Facts. It hasn’t been the same with you gone.” He folded his arms, making his massive biceps bulge.
Theo clamped my shoulder and held my gaze. “We’re glad you’re back.”
“Let’s get one thing straight. I missed her the most,” Cash said in a tone that dared anyone to try to one-up him. “Even more than you, Theo.”
“Mkay,” Theo said on a chuckle, but I could see his hurt. No matter what scary stuff happened in our lives—and there’d been a lot—Theo and I always stuck together. But I’d disappeared on him too.
My eyes burned and my chest squeezed. What must they think of me? Not coming home for four years, even when my parents begged. Dodging all of their texts and calls. Completely disappearing for the last year.
“It’s good to be here,” I said, though the words seared my throat.
Finally, Liam unlocked the doors. He cranked the engine before I was even inside. Everyone sat exactly where they always did, like I’d never left. Liam in the driver’s seat. Theo rode shotgun. The three brothers—James, Griffin, and Bowen—in the front bench seat. Which meant Cash and I were in the back.
He held onto my pocket almost until the moment my rear end connected with the upholstery. Then and only then did he let go. But only so he could put on his seat belt. As soon as that was done, his arm wound around my shoulder, tugging me against his side. That was new. Back in the day we didn’t touch unless we were poking or prodding, trying to get under each other’s skin.
I shouldn’t have let him. He was getting the wrong impression. But the internal pull to be close to him was even stronger than his physical pull. And I needed him right then.
I hooked my legs over his left knee, slid an arm around his waist, and buried my face in his neck. His scent was familiar and different at the same time. He was wearing a new cologne, maybe? Something spicy, with hints of amber and pepper. Whatever it was, it was the smell of confidence and masculinity, and it left me with a buoyant, peaceful feeling. I was safe here in his arms.
Protected.
He cradled my head, his strong guitar-picking fingers gently massaging the base of my neck. “It’s okay,” he whispered, his voice low and husky. “Nothing’s ever going to hurt you again.” He leaned his cheek against my hair. “I’ll make sure of that.”
It was so Cash. I hadn’t said a word. Hadn’t told him that the last four years had nearly killed me. But he could tell.
With me, he always could.