Chapter 20
twenty
Cash
T he sun had been up for a while now but I didn’t dare move a muscle. Not with Charlie asleep in my arms. There was no maybe about it. I had separation anxiety. Just the sixty seconds of thinking she was leaving had sent me into a tailspin—and when we got home, I refused to let her go to bed anywhere but right next to me.
Begging her to sleep by me seemed like a great idea last night but this morning, it left me with a few problems. There was a strict No Girls in the Bedroom policy at our house. I wasn’t sure how I was sneaking her out and down the stairs once she did wake up. Also, I couldn’t feel my left hand. Her head, propped on my left bicep, had cut off the circulation to my fingers an hour ago. I probably should’ve been worried about permanent nerve damage at this point, but I couldn’t care about that. I couldn’t care about anything but the fact that Charlie, who I’d promised to be just friends with, had let me spoon her all night.
But my biggest problem? Holding her close was a reminder of what I’d lost, and what I still ached for. A teaser of what was not to come.
I studied what I could see of her from here. How could there be so much beauty in one single person? Every tiny part of her lit me up inside. Her earlobes? Were the most attractive earlobes I’d ever seen. Her cheekbones? Curved at exactly the right angle. The brown of her hair was almost the same as mine, but it looked infinitely better on her.
I dropped my forehead to her shoulder, breathing her in. I decided that how she smelled right now—vanilla with a hint of my aftershave—was my favorite smell in the world. I pressed a kiss to her shoulder blade poking through the shirt.
Shoot. I shouldn’t have done that. Friends don’t kiss each other. Not even in the smallest, most innocent ways.
Friends.
I never thought I would hate that word. But now? I despised it. At least when it came to Charlie. How was I supposed to snuff out my feelings and just see her platonically? I didn’t know if I could.
If she were any other girl, I’d just be done. Delete her contact from my phone. But the guys were right, Charlie was family. She was part of my life, stitched into my past and, whether I liked it or not, my future.
I didn’t know how to let go of my dreams. Of a wedding where she’d roll her eyes because she didn’t get a new last name. Of waking up next to her like this, raising kids with her, living the life I’d always seen so clearly in my mind.
Would I have to watch someone else take my place?
I’d already been through that once. I wasn’t sure I’d survive it a second time.
I lay there, breathing through the ache. I wasn’t ready to let her go.
If anything, last night made me want a reason to hold on.
“Wait till Cash sees,” Addie’s hushed voice floated in from the hall. “He’s going to be so excited. I told you miracles are real.”
Mom laughed quietly. “We’re not going to wake him if he’s not up yet. He got home pretty late last night.”
“But Mooom,” Addie whisper-whined as they opened my door and walked in.
I was already prepared, a finger to my lips, an apology on my face.
Addie’s eyes grew round as quarters, like she’d walked in on something much more scandalous than Charlie and I fully clothed. Mom cocked her head, lips pursed in a tight line.
I know , I mouthed. I’m sorry .
Addie grabbed my shoulder, so excited to tell me…something. She started pantomiming—her tongue hanging out, panting, fists by her ears. With Charlie still sleeping soundly on my bicep, I smiled but scowled. I had no idea why we were playing charades so early in the morning.
I held up a finger to indicate that I’d be right there. Addie tiptoed out but Mom was still standing there, lips pressed together, staring at Charlie with intense disappointment.
It’s my fault , I mouthed but she just shook her head and ghosted out of the room.
Charlie must’ve been exhausted because she hadn’t so much as twitched. I eased my arm from under her, rolled off the bed, and crept out of the room.
As soon as the door was closed, Mom started in. “Cash. No girls in your room. Not even Charlie.” She nodded at Addie. I got it. I needed to be a better example.
Addie tugged me down the stairs.
“I know. I’m sorry. We had an emotional night.” I scrubbed the sleep from my face. “I just…” My chest heaved. “I’m having a hard time letting her go.”
“You don’t need to let her go, silly,” Addie said, pulling me down the stairs. “You’re going to marry her. Have a fancy wedding. Make a bunch of babies. Can I be the flower girl?”
This was not helping. “Mom, make her stop, please.” We stepped onto the foyer floor.
“I don’t know, bud.” Mom’s laugh was light. “I’m starting to think Addie is a prophetess.”
“I am.” Addie pulled me toward the kitchen.
I glowered over my shoulder at Mom. She’d just given me a lecture the night before last that I needed to respect Charlie’s wishes and learn to be her friend.
Lula, our chocolate lab, loped toward me, tail wagging.
“Morning, Lula.” I gave her a scruff on the head as we rounded the corner.
“Ta-da!” Addie gestured at Dad who sat on the floor, back against the wall, with three black and white…puppies on his lap? Though they were so tiny they almost looked like hamsters.
“Morning, son.”
“Hey, Cash.” Anna was next to him, feeding another little ball of fur from a small bottle.
“Lula had babies!” Addie squealed. “It’s a miracle!”
My mouth fell open. “What is happening?”
Lula dropped down next to Dad and rested her head on his thigh. One puppy crawled over and licked her nose.
“Lula didn’t have babies,” Dad said. “Lula brought somebody else’s babies home.”
“One at a time, probably between her teeth,” Anna said, impressed.
Addie put her hands on her hips. “You don’t know that. Did you see it happen? No, you didn’t. She might’ve pushed those out of her lady parts. You never know.”
“Addie.” Dad chuckled as one of the puppy’s little tongues lapped at his knuckles. “We had her lady parts removed.”
“He’s right, cutie. I took them out myself,” Anna said. “It’s impossible.”
Addie crossed her arms and scowled. “Bet Moses thought there was no way that sea was parting either.”
Anna snorted. “Fine. I’ll give you that. And you’re right that Lula now has puppies. Who knows how that happened but they appear to believe she’s their mom.” As was evidenced by the fact that now two out of the four were curled against Lula’s belly trying to suck from her empty nipples.
Addie beamed, so proud of herself.
I lowered myself to the floor, legs criss cross, and picked one up. His eyes were hooded, struggling to stay awake. Correction, her eyes. “What kind are they?” I asked Anna.
“Maybe a hound-border collie mix. But they’re too small to tell for sure. Probably a week old.”
“They look cold. I’m going to get them a blanket.” Addie skipped from the room.
“Not one of your nice ones!” Mom called.
Anna watched Addie go. “Probably some hunter who didn’t get the momma spayed,” she said in a hush. “And dumped them on the side of the road because he didn’t want to take care of them.” She patted Dad on the leg. “Either way, you might want to start finding homes.” She looked at me. “They told me about Addie’s ‘prophecies.’ First, Charlie comes home the same week Addie said she would—and now this? I don’t think you can deny it, Cash.”
My mind was reeling. Was Anna right? Was this some kind of sign?
Hadn’t I just said I needed a reason to hold on?
Dad caught my eye. “There’s no such thing as coincidence.”
“They can’t stay in the house,” Mom said. Having one indoor dog drove her crazy.
Dad raised his brows. “We could always hire another housekeeper.”
Our old housekeeper, Flora Mae, had retired last year to move to Arizona and be closer to her daughter. Mom kept insisting she had things under control. But Lula’s messes and hair made her crazy as it was.
“I’m doing fine as long as we don’t add any more dogs to the mix,” Mom said.
“You could keep them in the barn,” Anna suggested.
Dad’s eyebrow arched. “Gracie hates Lula.” Grace Note was Dad’s favorite horse.
“Maisy and Lula are besties. Let’s keep them at the barn by my house,” she said. “I’ll keep an eye on them. Belle will help.”
“No!” Addie cried, running in with a ratty pink and white plaid flannel blanket. “They need to stay here. With me.”
“We’ll go visit them every day,” Mom said.
“Five times a day,” Dad added.
“This way, you can hang out with Belle more,” Anna sang.
Addie’s shoulders fell but she smiled. “Okay.” Addie idolized Anna’s daughter. Kept asking Mom if she could have surgery to get dimples like Belle.
“What’s going on in here?” Charlie walked into the room and my pulse quickened. Her eyes got huge. “Puppies?” She gasped. She dropped to her knees next to Lula and picked up the one still snuggling its new mom. The puppy nestled into Charlie’s chest, tiny paws curling against her shirt. “Oh my gosh.” She giggled. “They’re so cute. How did this happen? I thought Lula was fixed.”
“Oh, you know,” Addie said. “Just God showing off.”
Dad winked. “Giving hope.”
“Making the impossible, possible,” Anna added with a knowing look. Mom squeezed my shoulder. “Letting us know that sometimes, when something is meant to be, it finds its way home—no matter what.”
I chuckled, my insides settling for the first time in weeks. Telling me it’s not over, I didn’t say out loud. Not yet.
Charlie looked at each of us curiously. “Puppies told you all of that?”