Chapter 9
9
GRANT
At war with myself, I moved slowly to the table. Tessa sat quickly, in the same spot I’d seen her take many times before, and I watched as people filled in casually. I imagine none of them were engaged in a mental battle trying to decide whether to keep their distance or get closer. Finally, only three seats remained. Two were directly to Tessa’s right, and one was across from her and down a seat. I wanted to take the space right next to her, but Claire and Hudson were on their way, so I chose the single seat. Tessa looked down at her plate, fiddling with her fork, avoiding eye contact. I stared at the turkey, because that was wholly acceptable and it sat directly between Tessa and me.
“Time for thanks, everyone,” Juliet announced, standing up from where she sat. “Any volunteers to go first?”
My eyes widened, and I trained them on the turkey so no one would see. We had to stand and give thanks? Risking a glance up, I found Tessa looking directly at me, her lips pressed together as if trying not to laugh.
Fortunately, the sound of the door distracted everyone. “Hello!” Claire sang delightedly as she came through and made her way to the dining room. Hudson was close behind. The table stood to greet them, and I followed suit.
“Claire,” Juliet said grandly. “Perfect timing. We were just beginning our thanks.”
“Perfect. Hud and I will go last this year.”
I groaned internally, my shoulders sagging, and heard a little laugh. “Hoping to go last?” Tessa whispered, having slipped in next to me for her turn to greet Claire and Hudson. Her voice was low enough to be all mine.
My parents were hugging the couple, offering their congratulations on the engagement, which put us near the end of this impromptu receiving line. “This is a real thing?”
“Every year,” Tess murmured. My parents returned to their seats and Nora took over hugging her sister. I tried to think of thanks, but my mind kept filling with bad ideas. I was thankful to have gotten to know Tessa, thankful the plan to set me up with Claire had gone nowhere, thankful Mr. and Mrs. Davis had never discovered we’d had sex in their hotel room. None seemed like good options.
Emily stepped in to hug her sister and, in an effort to keep the line moving, I reached out a hand to Hudson at the same time. “Congrats, man,” I said genuinely. Hudson’s eyes darted between me and Tessa, who stood just behind me—a reminder that, where Tessa and I were concerned, this table had layers upon layers of terrible secrets we didn’t want coming out.
“Thank you,” Hudson said, pumping my hand a couple times. I shifted over to Claire, offering a polite handshake instead of the hugs she’d been getting from everyone else. I needed it to be clear I wasn’t fawning after Claire Davis. “Happy Thanksgiving and congratulations on the engagement,” I said. Next to me, Hudson was hugging Tessa, and while I didn’t give a shit about him and Claire, I had a jealous urge to pull Tessa back from this hug.
“Thank you,” Claire said coolly. Tessa stepped in to hug her sister before things could get too awkward, and I returned to my seat, sitting down once more.
“I can go first,” Mom said, and for a second I’d forgotten what she was talking about. Then she stood. “Richard and I are so thankful that Ethan has found someone to spend his life with who is as beautiful outside as in, and we are also thankful to sit here with you all today. We haven’t just gained a wonderful new daughter-in-law, but a wonderful new family as well.”
Nora stood next. “Ethan and I—” I realized then that only one person from each couple had to speak. Shit. Any chance Tessa planned to stand up and speak on our behalf? My lips twisted wryly. Unlikely. I tuned back in to Nora, who appeared to be wrapping up. “—and for all the support you guys gave us during the wedding. We really appreciate you.”
“I’ll go,” Tessa said quietly, and she stood. “I’m thankful for my family, both old and new. It’s wonderful to have the Duprees—” Tessa’s eyes caught on mine and held for a second before drifting on to the rest of the family. “—here at the table to celebrate with us.” She sat down, and her mother smiled gently.
“I’ll go ahead,” Juliet said, and I realized only Emily and I remained before Claire’s request to go last, and I still didn’t know what to say. I cursed my sister for staying at college for Thanksgiving instead of being here to put one more person between me and this task. “Very much like Agatha said before, I’m so happy to have finally, officially joined our families. The Duprees have been such dear friends to us for two decades, and we’re thrilled to have celebrated the wedding of Ethan and Nora this past year.”
“I’ll go,” Emily said, standing before I had a chance to speak. “I’m thankful for my fellowship. It’s rare that people get the excitement and satisfaction I get from my job. I can’t even imagine spending all day in an office.”
I assumed the dig was meant for me, since I was the only one at the table Emily actively hated, but most of the family looked uncomfortable. “Thank you, Emily,” Juliet said, though she was frowning. “Grant?”
I stood, catching Tessa’s eye but letting it go just as quickly. “I wanted to say thank you for inviting me tonight, Juliet and Charles. Just like everyone, I’m really thankful for the big things—moving home, getting to spend time with all of you, being a part of my dad’s practice. But being back home has me thankful for the little things, too, like finding refuge in a beautiful mossy tree on a warm summer evening.” I didn’t look directly at Tessa, but as my eyes scanned I saw her blush and hoped she remembered the clunky attempt to praise her eyes. If I didn’t make sense to anyone else, I was okay with that.
“Thank you, Grant,” Juliet said, and I sat, risking one more glance at Tessa, who smiled warmly.
“Weird, though,” Emily mumbled under her breath.
Claire stood up. “Of course you know how thankful we are for our family, especially since the week we visited for Nora’s wedding brought Hud and I even closer.” Claire glanced back at Hudson and they shared a smile. “And you know how thankful we were to fall in love and get engaged, but what you don’t know yet is why I’m most thankful.” The whole table was wide-eyed, sneaking glances at each other and Claire’s slender frame, on the edge of their seat to hear about grandbabies. “I’m not pregnant, you guys. We’re moving back home. Well, to Cranberry Falls. We signed the lease this morning.”
The table erupted with noise and all the Davises leapt from their seats. And while they all looked excited, even Tessa, I noticed a hint of sadness in her eyes as well, and I wondered what about Claire moving to Hudson’s hometown twenty minutes east of Bridgeport would make her sad.
“Juliet, this meal was amazing. I cannot thank you enough.” It wasn’t late yet, but I didn’t feel like sticking around for the games portion of the evening. I’d made a showing, tolerated the glares from Claire and Emily, and now I was going home to watch football highlights.
Juliet smiled as she held out a paper grocery bag filled with Tupperware. “I packed you some,” she said, and a quick glance in the bag told me she packed me far more than just some of dinner.
“It’s too much,” I protested, but she was shaking her head.
“Grant, you are a single man and you work all the time. Take it. Enjoy some home cooking this week.”
There was no way in hell I was eating Thanksgiving leftovers all week, but I offered her my best fake smile, the one everyone believed, and accepted the bag. “Thank you.”
“Grant,” Mom said, “do you want your dad to drive you home? He can zip over there and back.”
“I don’t want him to miss the game, Mom. I can walk.”
Mom frowned. “Are you sure?”
“I can take you.”
My eyes shot up, finding Tessa immediately. “You’re leaving?”
“The games portion of the evening is never my favorite, and I’m pretty tired anyway, so I was going to head out, yeah.”
“Oh, wonderful,” Mom said, not waiting for my reply. “I’ll tell your father.”
It was chaos, saying goodbye to everyone, like an elaborate square-dance of hugs and well wishes, but I never lost sight of Tessa in the crowd, my eyes drawn to her over and over.
And then we were outside, and the quiet was absolute. “Thanks for giving me a ride home,” I said, slipping into the passenger side of the car.
Tessa glanced at me, put the car in reverse, then looked at me again when she’d pulled all the way out. “I’m not,” she said, putting the car into drive and lifting her foot off the brake. “I’m giving you a ride to my house. You live close enough to walk home from there. Or…”
I was perfectly still, waiting for her next words. But they didn’t come.“Or?” I prompted.
Tessa’s hands tightened on the wheel, which emitted a little squeak of protest. “Or you can stay at my house,” she said finally.
Desire warred with logic. “I want to, just to be clear. I really want you, but it’s a bad idea, Tess,” I said.
“No, it’s the only idea. Your plan to stay away from each other isn’t going to work. You saw our families—today we’re doing major holidays, and before you know it it’ll be family birthdays and weekend getaways. My parents have always liked spending time with your parents. Nora and Ethan getting married gives them a reason to anytime, all the time.”
She wasn’t wrong, but every alarm bell in my body told me I should resist. Whatever plan she had, unless it was making her completely mine, it wouldn’t be good enough.
Tessa saw my reluctance and powered forward, undeterred. “Grant, you’re not even good at avoiding me. You’re terrible at it, in fact. I bet you’ve listened to the song ‘All of Me’ more than once since that wedding, right?”
“I haven’t sought it out, I’ve just run into it a few times. It’s a popular song.”
“It always was, but you’re noticing now. I Baader Mienhoffed you.”
“I don’t think you can turn that into a verb,” I replied.
One eyebrow winged up high on Tessa’s forehead. “If, in conversation, you can understand the meaning of a person’s sentence, you don’t have to question their grammar. Only real twats do that.”
I laughed, unable to help myself. This wasn’t the time to tell Tessa I liked her a dangerous amount, but I really did. “I apologize,” I said simply. “Continue.”
“Do you know how to get rid of the Baader Meinhof Effect?”
“I think it’s a phenomenon—Baader Meinhof Phenomenon,” I corrected automatically, then said, “I’m sorry, go on,” when I saw her expression.
“I take it you’re familiar with the Baader Meinhof Phenomenon?” she asked, emphasizing all four syllables in the word phenomenon . I smiled.
“The phenomenon where, after being introduced to a new concept or word, you begin to see it everywhere.”
“Exactly. Except in this version you become aware of another person, and you begin to see reminders of them everywhere.”
“I understand.”
“Do you know how you get rid of the Baader Meinhof Phenomenon?” she repeated.
“No.”
“Saturation,” Tessa said simply. The word hung between us as she pulled up in front of her house. “If I’m thinking about you night and day, I’ll always see reminders of you, but if we let things run their course…” Her voice trailed off. “I mean, for all I know, sex with you would be terrible and this…infatuation would be done tonight.”
It was a cheap shot, an adult’s triple dog dare you , and I should’ve ignored it, but I didn’t. “Sex with me will not be terrible.”
She shrugged. “You don’t have to get defensive. For all you know, sex with me could be terrible.”
I sighed. “I can safely attest that sex with you felt extraordinary,” I grumbled, knowing she would wear me down. I couldn’t say no to her, and I didn’t want to.
“Grant.”
“Tess,” I replied, but the word came out almost as a whine. She leaned across the console, her eyelashes fluttering, lips turned out in a natural pout, and she was so close. I hit the button to release my seatbelt and buried my hand in her hair, tugging her closer to land a savage kiss on her mouth. There was nothing soft or sweet about that kiss, it was needy and punishing, but Tessa responded, her hands finding my shirt and fisting it tightly.
“Come inside or we’ll be the talk of Bridgeport.”
Fuck. She was right and I’d forgotten. I forgot everything when I had Tessa like this. It was how I’d ended up in a compromising position in her parents’ hotel room. That wouldn’t have happened with any other woman. I let go of her, smoothing my hand over her cheek. She lifted her foot, sliding the car into the garage smoothly, and my eyes widened in horror. She hadn’t even had the car in park and I’d been ready to haul her across the console. What if I’d hurt us both? Why didn’t I have any control where this woman was concerned?