Chapter 14
14
GRANT
“Looks like an infection,” I said, tossing the tip in the garbage and rehanging the otoscope. “I’m going to write you a prescription. Twice a day for ten days. Make sure to take them all, even if you feel better, okay?”
“Of course,” the woman—Mallory—a patient of my father’s I’d only recently started seeing, said.
“Do you have any questions or is anything else bothering you?”
She shook her head, smiling. “No, I appreciate your help.”
“My pleasure,” I replied. “Diana will be back here in a minute with your prescription, okay? Stay right here. It was nice to see you again. I hope you feel better.”
Mallory nodded, sniffing once but smiling again, her blonde curls bobbing. I stepped out of exam room two, letting my fingers trail the wall as I walked to the nurses’ station, feeling the spot halfway down the hall, where the wallpaper didn’t quite meet correctly. It was a habit I’d developed in the days since I’d kissed Tessa, pressed against that very spot. That moment was now tucked away among my favorite memories, most of which featured Tessa.
We hadn’t had sex that night. Not that I hadn’t considered sitting her on top of my desk, stripping her naked, and spreading her thighs wide to taste her. I’d also considered sitting down in my office chair and letting her ride me until we both fell apart.
Instead, I kissed her. I kissed her pressed against the wall and sitting on my desk and a thousand stops in between. Pretty much every moment we weren’t in front of those damned windows I was kissing Tessa, pulling her in and wrapping her up in my arms and losing myself in her like we were horny teenagers.
I should’ve been worried. I wasn’t growing the least bit tired of Tessa. On the contrary, I spent all my time trying to figure out when and how I could see her next. It was exactly what I’d been afraid of, but now that it was happening, it felt too good to worry about it.
I glanced at my watch, already knowing I had a half hour before my next patient, but not sure if Tessa’s lunch break had started yet. Slipping my phone out of my pocket, I swiped to my texts and opened my conversation with her.
Grant: Interested in dinner later?
The reply came quickly, meaning Tessa was already eating lunch. I frowned down at the words as they popped up on my screen.
Tessa: Already have plans
Grant: Okay. Maybe another time.
She sent a laughing emoji, which only made my frown deepen.
Tessa: I’m going to your parents’ house. Aren’t you going to be there?
My parents’ house? I hadn’t heard anything about it. I swiped to the call screen, but hesitated before calling Mom. What the hell could I say that wouldn’t make it obvious I’d been talking to Tessa? I hit the button.
“Hi, sweetheart. Is everything okay? Don’t you have patients?”
“Yeah, Mom. I was just grabbing lunch.” I unwrapped my sandwich while I spoke, more out of a need to eat quickly than because I hated lying to my mother. “I was thinking about my Christmas tree, though, and I could use a few more ornaments. Do you have any extra?” In reality, I hadn’t bought a tree, but I was willing to get one if it meant seeing Tessa tonight.
“Oh! I absolutely do. I gave some to Ethan and Nora, but I didn’t figure you’d want any. I’m so sorry, dear.”
“Don’t be sorry, Mom,” I said, feeling just the littlest bit guilty she’d known me so well and was now being made to feel she didn’t. “You didn’t know. I can pick them up after work.”
“Isn’t tonight your late night, hun?”
“My last patient is at 6:20. It’s not too late. I don’t mind stopping by.”
“Well, in that case you should stop by for dinner. The Davises are coming. We’re eating at 6:30, but I’ll save a plate for you.”
I felt the grin spit my face. “You don’t mind?”
“Mind seeing you? Of course not.”
“Great, then I’ll be there. Thanks, Mom. Love you.”
“Love you, too,” she said as she hung up.
I switched back to my conversation with Tessa.
Grant: I am absolutely going to be there, but tonight is our late night at the office, so I won’t get there in time for dinner.
The phone rang in my hands, and I was surprised to see Tessa’s name. I swiped the call on. “Hey. Everything okay?”
“Of course,” she replied cheerily. “I’m just sitting at my desk grading papers and eating leftover pasta. How much trouble could I have gotten into since my last text?”
I chuckled, picking up my own sandwich, liking the idea of sharing lunch with Tess, even if it was through a phone. “I just thought you hated phone calls. That's why I always text you.”
“Oh,” she said, the word a slow and perplexed syllable that took the smile off my face. “I do.”
I hesitated, feeling like I’d said or done something wrong even though I couldn’t put a finger on what, but Tessa spoke again before I could decide on the right thing to say.
“I always hate phone calls,” she began slowly, then quickly added, “but I really wanted to call you. So let’s not examine that too hard.”
Easier said than done. I licked my lips, my mind racing with all the possible inferences one could make following such a statement. “Works for me. I like talking to you, and it’s easier to eat this sandwich talking than texting.”
“Exactly!” she said triumphantly, as if this were, in fact, her reasoning as well. “I need both hands for my spaghetti.”
“Glad to be of service, then,” I agreed, taking a bite of the sandwich I still held. “How’s your day going?”
She hummed thoughtfully. “Not too bad. A kid told me my hair looked bad this morning.”
“What the fuck? That kid’s an asshole, your hair is amazing.”
She laughed, and I smiled, the anger I held toward the random ten-year-old dissipating. “I got a haircut. For all you know, it could look terrible.”
I was filled with an urgent and mysterious need to see Tessa’s new haircut. “I’m sure it’s beautiful.”
“Guess you’ll see for yourself tonight,” she said with a laugh. “Which reminds me, why are you coming by if you can’t make it until after dinner? Did your mom ask you to come?”
“Actually, I didn’t know there was a dinner until you mentioned it, but I was going to stop by to get an extra box of ornaments for my Christmas tree. I need more.” I knew why I’d lied to my mother, but wasn’t really sure why I was repeating the lie to Tess. Still, the moment the words came out of my mouth, I felt too stupid to change course.
“Bullshit,” she said with a tinkling little laugh.
“What?”
“I said that’s bullshit,” she repeated, and I could hear the smile in her voice. “You would’ve put ten total ornaments on the tree in your office if I wasn’t there. There’s no way Grant Dupree has a shortage of ornaments.”
“If you want to know the truth, Tess, I have zero ornaments.”
“Zero?” she asked skeptically. “Do you like a bare tree—just white lights?” I was poised to answer her when she gasped. “You don’t have a tree at all, do you?”
I’d never met a single person who saw through me like Tessa did. “I don’t.”
“What is the matter with you? Did you have a bad experience with a mall Santa as a boy?”
“I did not, no,” I replied with a laugh.
“Then why are you such a grinch?”
“I’m not a grinch. I like buying gifts for people. That part of Christmas is fun. I just never cared about the decorations.”
“You seem to think it’s about a tree , Grant. It’s not about a tree.”
“What’s it about, Tess?”
“A symbol. You can put it up and remember the people you love. The people you’ve shared Christmas with before.”
“Like the gap in the wallpaper,” I murmured.
“What?” she asked, but I didn’t reply, and she kept talking. “We should get you a tree.”
I’d been the only nine-year-old to never give a damn about the Christmas tree, yet when Tessa described it, it sounded good. But maybe that was just the prospect of spending more time with Tessa. I was preparing to say yes, when she swore.
“That’s my alarm. I’ve gotta go pick up my kids from the lunchroom. I’ll see you tonight, Grant.”
“See you tonight,” I replied, looking at my own clock as I set the phone down. I had only three minutes until my next appointment. Finishing the sandwich in two oversized bites, I smoothed my shirt and pants, heading out of my office.
“Grant!” Mom exclaimed as I walked in. The whole group remained seated at the dining room table, though they’d clearly finished eating. I smiled at Mom even as I found Tess in my periphery. Her hair was shorter—brown waves that reached only to her shoulders— a detail I’d completely forgotten about until now.
“Hi everyone. Good to see you.” My gaze slid over the table’s occupants, offering a silent hello to each, but stopped on Tess. “Tessa, you cut your hair. It looks lovely.”
She smiled warmly, her dark green eyes full of mischief. “Thank you, Grant. Glad to hear someone likes it. Earlier, I was telling everyone that one of my students said it was ugly.”
I shrugged. “Kid probably wanted an excuse to talk to you and couldn’t come up with a better line.”
She hummed thoughtfully. “I guess I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. I do really like the kid most of the time.”
“Grab a plate, honey,” Mom said, standing from her spot and bustling around the table to where I stood.
“I’ve got it, Mom. I’ve got it.” I took the plate from my mother, reaching across the table to fill it as I sat. My seat was directly next to Tessa tonight, and I indulged in a brief fantasy where the seat was saved because the whole damn world knew she was mine. I would walk through that door and kiss the hell out of her as I sat down. We could be at this table together, sharing a life and a family.
Tessa glanced in my direction, shooting me a quick smile. Warmth spread through my chest, and I looked down at the schnitzel on my plate quickly, keeping my face as neutral as possible so as not to give us away. These feelings I had were getting more dangerous by the day, and if I were smart I’d put some distance back between Tessa and me. When I looked up again Tess was frowning, and I lay my napkin across my lap, squeezing her knee once under the table.
I had never claimed to be smart where Tessa was concerned.
“We were just talking about Christmas, Grant.”
I paused cutting the schnitzel. “What about Christmas?”
“How we should do it, now that Ethan and Nora are married.”
I wasn’t sure it mattered, but Mom seemed very serious about it, so I stayed quiet.
Juliet piped in, saying, “Once they have kids, we’ll want to have a spot for everyone to open presents. It only makes sense to establish those traditions now.”
I wasn’t sure I agreed, but there was no point arguing with Mom or Juliet. “Sounds great,” I said, trying to muster enthusiasm.
Mom rolled her eyes. “Ignore him. He’s never loved Christmas.” She turned her attention back to Juliet, and they proceeded to ignore me as they continued their discussion. I shifted my attention to my plate, watching Tessa from the corner of my eye while I ate.
I couldn’t tell what she was looking at, but she was on her phone, tapping away furiously. A moment later she set her phone facedown on the table and resumed eating. Our mothers were still talking about Christmas, and I looked at Tess with open curiosity. “Later,” she murmured, smiling in a way that felt wholly for me, even while we were surrounded by our nosy family.
“It’s settled, then,” Juliet said, and I watched as Ethan, Dad, and Charles perked back up, glad to hear the conversation was over.
“Forgive me for not following that whole discussion, but what is it you've settled on?” I asked.
It was my mother who answered. “Christmas Eve at the Davis’, Christmas morning at our own homes, then meet up for Christmas Day here.” She nodded matter of factly. “But, of course, Grant, you could come here for Christmas morning if you want.”
I didn’t bother telling her I wouldn’t be doing that. We both knew I’d take the extra few hours to relax at home.
“Grant, honey, when you’re done, the boxes you wanted are upstairs by my bed, okay? I don’t want to forget, but I’m going to grab dessert now.”
“I can help, Mom,” I said, standing up to follow her.
Mom waved me away while Tessa and her mother stood in unison. “Sit, Grant. Finish your food. Tessa and I will help your mother,” Juliet said.
I wondered if Juliet hadn’t volunteered Nora simply because Tessa had already stood, or because she was more used to taking advantage of Tess. I worried it was the latter. Either way, Tess smiled serenely as she always did, smoothing down her knee-length skirt and collecting the dishes from the table without comment. Nora leaned her head against Ethan’s shoulder, done eating, but not bothering to stand. Not that I could blame her. Neither Charles, my father, or Ethan moved a muscle either.
I finished what was on my plate hastily and picked it up along with the remaining platters from supper, then I made my way into the kitchen.
“Grant, you didn’t have to rush,” Mom scolded as I came into the kitchen.
I leaned in close enough to kiss her head as I set the dishes down. “What can I say? Years of residency made me a fast eater.”
“Tess,” Juliet scolded, “I thought you were picking up the dishes.”
Irritation flashed across Tessa’s face, but was gone so quickly one might’ve imagined it, and I hurried to speak before she was forced to either defend herself or apologize. “She got everything, Juliet,” I said. “I just grabbed these last couple things.”
“Thank you, sweetheart, and thank you, too, Tessa,” Mom said, wiping off her hands and turning to look directly at me. “You must be tired. I know your dad was always exhausted after his late night at the office. Are you staying for dessert or should I wrap some of this up for you now?” she asked.
I desperately wanted to know Tessa’s plans for the evening, but I couldn’t look at her, not directly at least. I glanced at Juliet instead, then mom, and then finally Tess. It was just a quick look, but Tess gave a tiny twitch of her head I took to mean don’t stay. God, I hoped I wasn’t misreading that minuscule gesture. “I am tired,” I lied. “I’ll probably just grab the bin you set aside for me and head out.”
“Okay, hon. Go get the bin from my bedroom and I’ll pack you up some dessert.”
“Actually, I’m going to head out, too. I’m beat and I have work tomorrow,” Tess said.
“You drove with us,” Juliet said, frowning.
“I’ll walk, Mom. I’m fine,” Tess replied airily.
“Don’t be silly,” I said. “I can drop you off.”
“Oh, Grant,” Juliet said with a smile. “You don’t mind?”
Behind her mother’s head, Tessa rolled her eyes, and I fought a smile. “Not at all. Tessa lives so close.”
“Alright, I’ll wrap you both up dessert,” Mom said, pulling an assortment of plastic containers out of the drawer in front of her.
“Tessa,” I said, and my voice must’ve surprised her, because she started, standing a little taller as if she’d been caught slouching. “Can you grab the desserts? I’m going to get something from my mother’s room.”
“Of course,” Tessa replied mildly.