Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Chance
I jogged up the back stairs at the brewery a little after five p.m. Friday, still digesting the implications of my meeting with Holden and Chloe.
As I rounded the corner on the second floor, I could tell the light was still on in Rowan’s office. Like always, anticipation pumped through me, and I had to shut down my involuntary eagerness to see her.
Over the past three weeks, we’d established a professional friendliness between us, an almost comfortable rapport. Almost. It’d be more comfortable if I could keep my mind from going where it shouldn’t. From remembering flashes of New Year’s Eve. From fantasizing about another hookup.
With Holden and Chloe hurrying off to pick up their daughter for some family event in the city tonight and Mateo on the road, the only other person in the building was Kemp, who was in the brewhouse. Rowan and I practically had the place to ourselves.
Which meant nothing at all.
I prepared to smile, wish her a happy weekend, and walk past her open door toward my own office. Except when I peered in, I stopped in my tracks. She had her head down on her desk, face buried in her arms.
“Rowan?” I said from the doorway.
She raised her head and blinked sleepily. “Hi.”
I stepped inside. “Are you okay?”
She inhaled as if assessing, then nodded. “I didn’t sleep much last night. I put my head down to rest my eyes for five minutes.”
“It’s almost five thirty. Weekend time.”
“I told Chloe I’d stay late to prep for tomorrow’s tour since she gave me the morning off.”
“She said you had a last-minute appointment in Nashville this morning.” I couldn’t help prying. I’d noticed Rowan’s absence and been relieved when I heard her voice in the hallway early this afternoon.
She eyed me tiredly. Assessing me. For what, I couldn’t guess.
“Is everything okay, Rowan?”
She didn’t respond, seemingly deliberating with herself. I took another step toward her desk, confused, my concern growing.
“Yeah.” She flashed a tired smile. “I’m good. What are you doing working late?”
“Just got done with a meeting. I’d ask you if you read Chloe’s email yet, but I’m thinking you haven’t checked lately.” I grinned to make it clear I wasn’t judging her for resting. I couldn’t help but notice the shadows beneath her eyes.
“Email about what?”
I sat in the chair facing her desk. “She has too much on her plate, and she knows it. Holden convinced her to hand off everything marketing related to you.”
Her eyes locked on mine as the ramifications sank in.
“Marketing,” she repeated. “You’re the marketing director.”
“Chloe’s been in on everything as we’ve developed the brand. But that’s pretty much established now. The next thing will be rolling out the event venue campaign.”
“So I’ll be working with you,” she concluded, not smiling.
“I’ve been told I’m decent to work with.”
“You all realize I know nothing about marketing, right?”
“You’ll do fine. As long as you can work directly with me?”
For the first time, I wondered if she was more uncomfortable than I’d realized because of our history. She’d seemed to handle working for the same company okay, as if our night together had been almost nothing. That sucked for me, but it was better than the opposite extreme. I did not need a clinger.
When she didn’t reply, just continued sizing me up, my concern grew.
“Rowan? What’s going through your head?”
She averted her eyes and bit her lower lip, then straightened as if making a decision. “Could you close the door?”
I frowned, unease exploding in my gut. Instead of mentioning there was no one left in this part of the building, I stood and did as she asked. Retaking my seat, I said, “What’s going on?”
Rowan leaned her elbows on her desk and ran her hands over her face. As she lowered them, she nailed me with intense but tired brown eyes.
“There’s no way to ease into this,” she said, sitting up straighter. “And this isn’t the right place for this discussion, but I’m not sure there is a right place. I’m pregnant, Chance.”
That explained why she was so tired, and maybe why she’d had a last-minute appointm?—
Wait.
Hold the fucking phone.
Was she suggesting…
“How pregnant?” I stupidly asked.
Rowan glanced at her desk calendar. “Twenty-four days.”
The chair flew backward as I stood abruptly, unable to remain calm as her implication became clear. “It’s… I’m… From New Year’s?”
She nodded. “From New Year’s.”
I paced the narrow width of the room. “That’s not possible. We used protection.”
She let out a laugh that had an edge of hysteria to it. “You don’t even know the half of it.”
I pivoted to her, confused. “What do you mean?”
Rowan inhaled deeply, glancing at the ceiling before meeting my gaze. “I have endometriosis. My ob-gyn told me when I was twenty-six years old it would be highly unlikely I’d have children, at least not without a procedure, which I haven’t had.”
I tried to puzzle through that. I’d heard of the condition but didn’t know a lot about it. My feet carried me back to the chair in front of her, and I sat down hard. “So you aren’t likely to conceive. We used birth control. And still?—”
“I’m pregnant. My doctor confirmed it this morning. I was able to get in on someone else’s cancelation.”
“Jesus.” I absently rubbed my jaw as I tried to get the storm in my head under control. “For sure New Year’s?”
She tilted her head and shot me a fake, sugary-sweet grin. “Only time I’ve been with someone for more than two years.”
“Sorry,” I said, realizing that was an insensitive question. “I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around this.”
“You and me both.”
“I’m guessing, since you told me, you’re planning to keep the baby?”
“Yes,” she said with no hesitation. “The timing is terrible, but this could be my only chance to be a mom.”
I nodded and tried to imagine having a baby again. A baby . For fuck’s sake, I was in way over my head with the teenager I had.
She picked up a pen and tapped the end on the desk. “If you don’t want to be in the baby’s life?—”
“I didn’t say that.”
“I know. I’m just acknowledging how awkward this is.”
“I…” I shook my head, leaned forward, elbows on knees. Let out a hollow laugh. “This’ll take a bit to sink in.”
“Tell me about it.”
I glanced up at her again, struck anew by those shadows under her eyes. I pulled my thoughts away from myself for a minute as I studied her more closely. “This is why you didn’t sleep much last night.”
“Yep.” Her lips fluttered upward briefly in a smile attempt that didn’t quite work.
In that moment, she looked so young, so vulnerable. I was overcome by the urge to go to her, pull her into my arms, and tell her everything would be okay. That could be stretching the truth though, because who knew how any of it would turn out?
“Does anyone else know?” I asked.
“Chloe and Presley were with me when I tested.”
My eyes went wide. Our boss hadn’t even hinted that something was off.
“They don’t know it’s you,” she added in a rush. “That’s a whole different mess.”
Mess, indeed.
“We’ll get to that eventually, huh? How are you holding up?” I asked.
“Life is weird.” She shrugged. “I have a lot to figure out. Everything from health insurance to a place to live to my career. My due date is September twenty-third. Just in time for back to school.”
“Shit,” I said.
“In spite of all that”—she smiled, and it seemed only a little forced—“this baby’s a miracle I was told I might never have.”
I might not know her well, but in that instant I had zero doubts she’d be one hell of a mom.
An image of her holding a newborn, gazing at him or her with love, popped into my head, and damn if that didn’t shake me on multiple levels.
A baby. A child. Rowan was getting her chance to be a mother. And fuck me running, I was going to be a father again.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, relieved for the distraction. It was from my daughter.
Sam: Can we have Humble’s tonight?
I stared at the words, unable to remember the last time Sam willingly reached out to me. And about dinner, no less.
“Is everything okay?” Rowan asked. “I mean, excepting our situation, of course. With the message?”
I managed a half smile. “Excepting our situation. It’s my daughter, Sam. She wants me to bring pizza home with me. She doesn’t normally even want to talk to me.”
“You should get home to her.”
Inviting Rowan to join us crossed my mind, but I dismissed it. Last night had ended with my daughter opening up to me in a small but significant way. Bringing a stranger home for dinner was a surefire way to ruin that progress.
Fuck. I’d eventually have to come clean to Sam about Rowan. That I’d gotten her pregnant. There was no way that would go over well.
One night of fun, and we’d fucked ourselves well and good and created one hell of a tough situation. I couldn’t fix it tonight. I couldn’t even comprehend all the pieces of it tonight.
Pizza first. I could handle pizza.
I replied to Sam.
Chance: Pepperoni and mushrooms?
Sam: Yes.
Chance: I’ll order one and pick it up on my way home. See you soon.
“You said your daughter’s fourteen?” Rowan asked.
“Right.”
She cringed. “A baby could make her feel threatened.”
Threatened, pissed, insecure, betrayed… Telling my daughter would be one of the hardest things I’d had to do in my life.
“Yeah,” was all I said. “I need some time to think. Then you and I need to have some conversations.”
Rowan nodded. “Yes.”
I didn’t know how anything was going to work out, but the one thing I was damn sure of as the facts began to sink in was that, if there was a kid with my genes and my blood, I would do my best by him or her. “I want to be in this baby’s life.”