Chapter Twenty-Eight Barrett
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Barrett
As a distraction technique, it was effective.
My hands dove into her hair, and I took control of the kiss in the span of time it took for my heart to expand in my chest. Her tongue, soft and warm and wet, twisted around mine, and I groaned into her mouth.
I tightened my fingers, and Lily let out a short whimpering sound as I gripped the strands of her hair to tilt her head. Her legs wound around my hips, tugging me flush with her center, and I rocked against her mindlessly, shocked at how quickly we’d arrived here.
I shouldn’t have been.
This woman had the stunning ability to bring me to my knees with nothing more than the crook of her finger, and I wasn’t even sure she was aware of it. She bit down on my bottom lip, and I untangled my fingers from her hair, cupping her face to roll my forehead against hers.
“Are you kissing me just to shut me up?” I asked, unable to keep my hands from sliding along her waist and back, down to the curve of her ass, keeping her tight against me. Even if she said yes, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop.
Lily’s cheeks were flushed pink, and her hands slid underneath my shirt again, palms coasting over my sides, up over my chest. “Baby, if I thought that would work, I would’ve done it the first night we met.”
I laughed against her mouth, and she pulled back. After a slow, dazed blink with her eyes locked on my lips, she surged up, kissing me again with a helpless sigh. I wound my arms around her and held her tight to my chest.
“It drives me crazy when you laugh,” she moaned, gripping my hair in tight fists as she rolled her hips over my blood-draining hard-on. “You don’t even know.”
“Yes, I do,” I breathed, pushing my hands under her T-shirt, finding her braless again. God bless her hatred of that particular undergarment. “What do you think it does to me when you smile? When you laugh? When you tuck yourself against my chest, all soft and sweet? You’re no better.”
Lily leaned her head back, and I kissed down the line of her neck, sucking on her skin, driven by a throbbing urge to mark her.
Not once in my life had I felt that way, the desire to leave a bruise or a bite mark.
But with her, it was all different. Better.
Heightened in a way that should have been frightening.
Everything about her had me off-center, and I couldn’t find my way back to solid footing.
She was leaving. She’d taken another job. Six fucking months. And instead of making me want to pull away, I simply wanted her more. Because no matter what she said, Lily Townsend wanted this with me as much as I did with her.
If I had to single-handedly dismantle the towering wall of her fear, tearing it down until my hands were bloody, I’d do it. One day at a time. Even if it took weeks or months or years.
“Barrett,” she said in a breathy voice, gently pushing on my chest. I pulled back, heaving breaths in and out while we stared at each other with only inches between us. “What if I can’t?” she said again.
I shook my head, brushing her hair off her face. “What if you can? And what if it’s amazing? Then what?”
Her eyes were huge, her lips red from our kisses, and it was clear she didn’t know what to say. “I’m not very nice,” she blurted out. “I’m not . . . friendly. I don’t really have friends.”
I held her gaze. “Neither do I.”
Lily blinked. “You don’t?”
“No. I have my kids and my parents. I can’t tell my brother he’s one of my only friends, because it’ll go to his head. Bridget would say she is, but she scares me too much for me to call her that.”
Her lips twitched, hands twisting absently in my shirt as she tried not to smile.
“And I have you,” I said quietly.
Lily’s eyes flew to mine. “What?”
“I have you.” I smoothed my hands up her arms. “I like having you around, Lily Townsend. You don’t talk just to hear your own voice.
You’re funny without trying. Smart as a whip.
You are thoughtful and kind with my kids, which says a lot about who you are as a person.
And I think, if you let yourself, you’d be an incredible friend. ”
“I’m selfish,” she said, tilting her chin up.
A challenge to argue, maybe. “I’ve only lived for myself for a long time.
I’d be the worst girlfriend. I’d hog the bed and the remote because I’ve never had to share.
I’d tell you to turn down the TV because I’m used to quiet when I read.
I’ll probably get restless. I’d be terrible at football games with all these people expecting me to be perfect and sweet and outgoing. ”
“I’m a perfectionist,” I countered. “I work too much. Bridget had to put up Christmas trees in my office so no one thought I was a Grinch.” Her lips twitched again.
“And during the season, I have no downtime. You would hardly see me during the week.” She stared down at where her fingers were twisted in my shirt.
The tips of her thumbs rested on my skin, but she didn’t move them.
“Everyone tells me I’m too serious. That I wouldn’t know fun if it bit me in the ass. ”
Her eyes lifted again, wide and serious. “I’m terrible at dealing with my feelings.”
“You don’t say,” I said dryly. She let out a quiet laugh, sobering again as she stared into my face.
“Remember what I said to you at practice the other day?” As her brow furrowed, I sucked in a deep breath.
“I care what you think, Lily. How you view me as a person—and not because I need to be perfect, but because you matter to me. Your opinion matters. Your respect is something I want to know I’ve earned.
” I cupped her face again, chest constricting when she didn’t drop her gaze in this nerve-racking moment of vulnerability. “That probably scares you, doesn’t it?”
“Sort of,” she whispered.
“That’s okay.” My thumbs swept over her cheeks. “What else?”
“I might try to run if I’m afraid to get hurt. Just for a little while.”
My heart swelled, affection almost taking me out at the knees.
“Then I will always be waiting when you come back,” I told her fiercely.
“You need to go to Florida for six months to warm your stubborn ass up after this winter? Do it. We can talk on the phone. I can charter a flight to come see you. Take the kids, too, if I’m feeling like sharing.
” My hands slid over the sides of her neck.
“But I don’t know that I will. I’ve never been possessive of a woman in my entire life, but I think I will be with you. ”
Her eyes welled up, but no tears fell.
“I am not scared to wait for you. To give you time to be ready.” My fingers wound through her hair.
“And we could sit here all day talking about all the shit we’ve done wrong, the ways we’re not perfect, but I’m not scared of that either.
” I kissed her once, a sweet, lingering kiss.
“I have waited my entire life for someone who feels like my best friend. My partner. I’m not giving that up so easily now that I’ve found it. ”
I kissed her again, the resistance melting from her frame. I pulled back, nose brushing hers while I spoke against her lips.
“Fight for this with me, baby. Even if it’s hard. Even if we have to piss each other off from time to time. Fight for something good, Lily, because you deserve that after being alone for so long.”
A tear slid down her cheek, and I brushed it away with my thumb. “So do you,” she whispered. “Maybe . . . maybe we could stop being lonely together.”
If there was a sound to falling in love, then it was buried somewhere in the sweet sigh she let out when I kissed her again. I wanted to hear it every day for the rest of my life.
I deepened the kiss, warmth flowing through my veins as her hands roamed over my chest and tugged at my shirt. I broke away to yank it over my head. She stared hungrily at my upper body.
“God, look at you,” she breathed. “A man who sits at a desk should not have a six-pack like this.” Her fingertips dragged over my arms, her eyes following their path. “Or arms like this. How?”
I dipped my head and kissed the skin just beneath the line of her jaw, letting my lips whisper over the shell of her ear when I said, “All the better to fuck you with, darling.”
Lily was practically panting as she tugged my face to hers, our mouths clashing in a furious kiss. The barriers—emotional and otherwise—were gone, and my hands tugged at her shirt, trying to peel it over her head before I had to break away from the decadence of her lips on mine.
“Bed,” she begged against my mouth. “Bed, now.”
I gripped my hands under her ass as she wound her legs around my waist. I couldn’t kiss her and navigate through the house at the same time, and when I tried to ascend the stairs with her in my arms, she tugged on my earlobe with her teeth and I bit out a growled curse, spinning to press her back against the wall the moment I cleared the landing at the top.
With her back braced against the wall, I could free one hand for more important things.
With a groan, I sucked her tongue into my mouth, filling my palm with the warm weight of her breast. Lily rolled her hips against my stomach, and I wanted those leggings gone. Wanting everything between us fucking vanished with nothing but a flick of my fingers.
Our kiss was a fight for dominance, and I loved that she didn’t just let me take control. I didn’t want to tame her. I wanted scratches on my own skin in the same way I wanted to leave marks on hers.
Then she pulled back, staring at me with a delectable flush over her chest and neck. “Wait.”
“What?”
She stared at my mouth, then seemed to gather herself. “Let’s move this to a bed first. I have something to show you.”
I grinned, ducking down to tug on her bottom lip with my teeth. “Is it something I get to put my mouth on?”
Lily let out a breathy laugh, her eyes bright, pupils blown wide with desire. “Technically, yes.”
“Then tell me where you want me.”