Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
EMBER
Ilift the remote and switch the channel. There’s only so many episodes of Say Yes to the Dress I can stomach right now.
Cupid jumps up on my lap with a meow, knocking off the pile of tissues I was collecting there.
I stroke over his mottled fur, though no amount of stroking my pets this weekend has been able to soothe me. I can’t stop crying, and I just couldn’t face work today. Couldn’t face him.
Cupid tilts his head and paws at my stomach.
Cersei sits in the chair opposite with a judgmental glare.
“Don’t judge me Cersei, you slept with your brother.
” I settle on watching House Hunters, needing something that won’t remind me of my nonexistent love life, pull the blanket over my lap and open the discarded box of chocolates on the armrest only to find the strawberry ones left that I absolutely hate, but I need chocolate right now, so this will have to do.
My phone buzzes. It’s been buzzing all weekend, but I can’t look at his messages or I’ll start sobbing again. Daytime TV and tears don’t mix. I reach for the remote—until I see it’s the group chat.
Nikki McTrouble: You ok, Em? Haven’t heard from you all weekend.
Raine McNosy: She’s probably off having a dirty weekend with the DILF.
Nikita McBossy: Let us know how that’s going for you. Did he blow the cobwebs off with his hose?
…
Raine McNosy: Oh, she’s typing.
Nikita McBossy: Brace yourself girls… It’s about to get hot in here.
There was no hose. No cobwebs. Just heartbreak.
Nikki McTrouble: What?
Nikita McBossy: Wait—did he dump you?
Other way around.
Raine McNosy: Why? He looked like a man who could do dangerous things with a hose.
Because he deserves more than I can give.
Nikita McBossy: Right. Girls’ night. I’ll bring wine. When’s everyone free?
Nikki McTrouble: Can’t do tonight. Have the in-laws here. I think you need to send some of that wine to me. Or maybe something stronger.
Raine McNosy: I’m free tomorrow. Parents’ meeting tonight. If my son gets another detention so help me…
Don’t worry. I’m fine.
Nikita McBossy: Liar.
Raine McNosy: Are you crying into a box of strawberry creams right now?
Maybe. That’s all I have left.
Raine McNosy: I’ll fly by with an emergency chocolate drop-off and a drive-by hug after work.
Raine McNosy: And you’d better not be watching House Hunters in your dressing gown when I get there.
How did you know that’s what I was watching?
Nikita McBossy: Because we know you, Em. And we know you always put others first. Let someone take care of you for once.
I love you guys.
I drop the phone onto my lap and wipe my face with the back of my hand.
Cupid nudges my arm, purring harder, like he’s trying to convince me I’m not alone. But the truth is, I’ve never felt more alone in my life.
A knock at the door makes me jump. My heart races as I lurch from the sofa, the tissues scattering to the floor and the few strawberry chocolates tumbling with them.
I tug my dressing gown around me and tie it tight as I rush to the door, hoping it’s my grocery delivery bringing more chocolates and my date with Ben and Jerry.
I swing the door open, but I’m met with my brother.
Flint’s brow furrows as he takes in my appearance. “Are you ill?” He steps into the house, gaze roaming my messy hall with my work bag and shoes from Friday still haphazardly in the middle of the walkway.
“I’m not feeling myself, that’s all.” I walk past him in the hall, stepping over my bag, and lead him into the kitchen where a sink full of pots glare at me.
“Yeah, I heard you called things off with Drake.” He rolls his sleeves and fills up the sink with hot water. “What’s going on?”
I slide out a chair at the table and drop onto the hard wood with a sigh. Tears pool in my eyes and I bury my head in my hands.
It’s as if my cats sense my heartache as Fidget and Smokey curl around my legs. Robbie pounces onto the table and nudges at my hands.
“Everything was great and I jswentnruwendit…” Sobs burst out of me as I drop my face into my arms on the table, my shoulders shaking with every cry.
Flint’s hand rests on my shoulder. “Want to talk about it?” The chair scrapes against the tiles as he pulls out the one next to me and sits down, drying his hands on a tea towel.
I tilt my head and crack open one eye, taking in his furrowed brow. “Why does everything have to hurt so much?”
“It seems to me that you’re not the only one who’s hurting right now.”
My breath trembles. “He deserves to be with someone who can give him a family.”
“Not this again.” Flint runs a hand down his face and sighs. “When are you gonna realise you deserve to be loved, Em? Besides, not everyone wants to have a million kids. Look at me. You think I’m gonna have any more kids? One’s plenty, believe me.”
“But his daughter. She drew a picture of a family. One that I can’t give to them.”
“And did you ask Drake if that’s what he wants?”
“Yeah, I did.”
He raises his brow. “You told him about your condition? Because when I spoke to him, he said, you never gave him an explanation.”
More tears drip down my face. “Because I don’t want his pity, Flint. The only thing worse than breaking it off was having him stay out of pity.”
Flint leans back in the chair, crossing his arms, his gaze unrelenting. “So instead, you’d rather break his heart and your own along with it? Brilliant plan, Em.”
I sniff, scrubbing at my face with my sleeve. “You don’t get it.”
“Don’t I?” His voice sharpens. “I’ve watched Coleman these last few weeks. Man’s got it bad for you. He looks at you like you hung the bloody moon. You think that’s pity?”
My throat tightens. “You didn’t see his face when Sienna said she wanted a baby brother and sister. He lit up. He wants that. He deserves that. I can’t give it to him.”
Flint drags a hand through his hair, muttering under his breath before fixing me with that chief stare. “You know what pisses me off? You didn’t even give him a choice. You decided for him.”
I bristle. “What was I supposed to do? Tell him the truth and watch his whole expression change? Watch him swallow down his disappointment and pretend it doesn’t matter? I’ve lived through that before, Flint. I won’t do it again.”
He exhales hard, pinching the bridge of his nose. “So instead, you lie. You push him away and act like he meant nothing.”
Hot tears spill down my cheeks. “He’ll move on. He’ll find someone who can give him everything I can’t.”
“Or,” Flint says, voice low, “he’ll never forgive you for not trusting him. For not even letting him try. You think you’re protecting him, Em, but all you’re doing is torching something good before it’s had a chance to grow.”
I stare at the table, hands trembling as Robbie nudges at them again. My chest aches as if I’ve swallowed glass.
Flint’s voice softens then, his hand warm and heavy on mine. “You’re my sister. I’ll always back you. But don’t confuse fear with wisdom. You think you’re sparing him, but I think you’re just scared shitless of being happy.”
I choke on a bitter laugh. “Happy endings aren’t for me.”
“Maybe not,” he says, standing. “If this is how you treat someone who cared for you, then you’re right. You don’t deserve a happy ending.”
He drops the tea towel on the counter, shakes his head, and stomps towards the door. “You can hide from him all you want. But you can’t hide from me.”
A horde of cats follows him towards the door, but I bury my head in my palms, knowing everything he said was right.
“And Em,” he shouts from the from door. “For goodness sake, take a shower.”
The door clicks shut behind him, leaving me with nothing but the sound of my cats and the echo of his words.