19. Chasing Ghosts
“We’re nearly there!”
“Yes, we’re nearly there,” I confirm, butterflies going wild in my stomach.
As nervous as I am, I still can’t take the smile off my face, especially when I turn off from the lane and the headlights illuminate the hulk of a man waiting for us on his porch, feet wide apart, hands in his pockets, and that smirk… that smirk that makes me feel things I didn’t think possible – want things I didn’t know I wanted.
I didn’t go up with him last weekend after his surprise visit. I’d promised to take Adam swimming since I had abandoned him with his mother the day before, and I didn’t want to disappoint my son by cancelling. Instead, I watched Trevor drive off on his own, early Sunday morning while the traffic was still slow.
I hadn’t planned on bringing my son on my first official date with Trevor, but when Adam sussed out that I was going up, he cried and threw a tantrum until I agreed he could join me to see his Rosie after school on Friday.
He’s out of the car like a rocket once I unbuckle him, and straight into Trevor’s arms. I take a moment watching, savouring the sight of the two of them. Then those eyes land on me and I swallow. I don’t know how to behave. What is the correct decorum? With my girlfriends, I was never in doubt – I gave them what I knew they needed: unreserved and unconditional devotion. But I’m not in charge here, I’m in uncharted territory. Do I play it cool and do a head nod, or does Trevor expect more? What if he expects a kiss. I’m not ready to do that in front of my son.
He must sense what’s going on inside of me, as the corner of his mouth lifts.
“Come here, city boy. You’re not too shy for a hug, are you?” His low timbre sends a shiver from my chest down low in my tummy.
“Dad loves hugs!” Adam states enthusiastically, letting go of Trevor with one hand, widening his embrace to let me join them.
Adam’s thin arm locks around my neck as Trevor’s strong arm pulls me in.
“You smell nice,” he whispers. His soft beard brushes my cheek and his hand on my hip squeezes ever so gently, possessively.
Oh, be still my crazy heart.
“Is Rosie on field?”
Trust Adam’s love for a cow to break the best double hug of my life.
“She’s in the barn, ready to be milked for the evening. Do you think you could give me a hand?”
“Yes.” Adam nods. “And I’ve eaten all my vegetables, almost all the time, so I’ve grown tall.” Then he gasps, his eyes wide in horror. “Dad, have I’ve grown so much that the farmer’s suit won’t fit me anymore?”
I try not to laugh, both at his blatant lie about eating his vegetables and his misconception of how much he’s grown. “I think you’ll be fine, son.”
* * *
“The end.”
“Can you read another one?” Adam is clutching Moo in one arm and Wallie in the other, his eyes barely open.
“Let’s save it for tomorrow, yeah?” He tries to argue but is too tired to put up a proper fight. I kiss his forehead. “Love you, Adam. Sleep tight.”
“Love you, Dad.”
“Good night, Adam,” Trevor says from the doorway.
“Love you, Trev’r.”
Trevor’s jaw goes slack, and his tone is hoarse. “Love you too, Adam.”
He laughs quietly as I close the door. “I didn’t expect a love declaration this early.”
“You shouldn’t be surprised. He adores you.”
Adam was Trevor’s shadow in the barn, asking a hundred and one questions and wanted to help with everything. I had to hold him back a few times, both to let Trevor get the job done and to avoid accidents.
“I adore him too. I never thought…”
“Never thought what?”
Trevor’s chest widens on a big in breath. “Never thought I’d have the opportunity to help raise a child. I’ve had hopes that one day Julie will have children and that I can play a part in their lives, but I never expected… I know it’s early days, but…”
“You never expected to be Daddy Trevor.”
“No.” The smirk is back on his face. “Although you may call me Daddy any time you like.”
I clamp my lips shut so I don’t burst out laughing, yet there’s heat low in my belly. There always seems to be heat in my belly when he’s close.
“Want to see where you’ll sleep, city boy?”
I stop breathing as he steps closer. He leans down, picks up the overnight bag by my feet and pauses for a second before he raises. He winks as I’m acutely aware of something else that has risen. I adjust my pants behind his back as he leads me down the corridor, past the guest room, past his room. He opens the door to his parents’ room.
“Trevor?”
“I thought it was time I chase some ghosts. Julie helped me clear it on Sunday.” He laughs awkwardly and drops my bag by the wall. “We had some good chats while clearing it… about Dad and our future and stuff.”
“That’s great, Trevor. And long overdue.”
“Well, yeah.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets and shrugs.
I don’t press him, it’s between him and his sister what they shared. “So, you’ve moved in here?”
“Ah, yeah. Spent the beginning of the week painting it, before Julie came back up yesterday with new curtains and bedsheets and um, we moved my bed in and the dresser and stuff. If you don’t like it, then take it up with my sister. I may be the gay in the family, but that doesn’t mean that I have any fashion or interior decorating skills.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“You like it?” His eyebrows rise while his shoulders drop. I almost laugh at his obvious relief. How can this man who is so sure of himself be insecure about something as trivial as whether I like the curtains?
“I love it. The dark blue against the dark wood is stunning,” I assure him and walk deeper into the room. The curved wooden end of the bed is smooth under my hand. “Is it antique?”
“It’s been around for a while, yes.” Trevor’s confidence is back with my approval, and that confidence is dripping with sexual tension as he steps closer. “It’s also been a while since it had a – how did you so eloquently put it? Fucktest, was it? Yeah, it hasn’t had a fucktest in a while.”
My mouth is dry yet I’m drowning in the intensity of his gaze. “Maybe I could help you with that?” I rasp while trying but failing to play it cool.
“You just may.”
My gaze flicks to the door, and Trevor, who is nearest, walks over to close it.
“He’s on the other end of the hallway. He’ll not hear us.” The big, blue-eyed man leans back against the door, his shoulders as wide as the frame. “Undress for me, city boy.”
My jaw drops, but no argument passes my lips as Trevor raises his eyebrows in challenge.
So I do it.
I should be embarrassed as I slowly drop my clothes, stripping, but the way the hulk of a man’s gaze devours every inch of my body that I reveal, makes me feel powerful, in charge. But the sense of being in control vanishes as he pushes off the door and stalks me. I’m nothing but a puddle of want and need, and my moan is shamefully loud when he grabs my shoulders, pulling me up to meet his demanding lips.
I try to take charge of the kiss, but I should know better. There’s only one man in this room, and I’m his boy, at his mercy and command. He holds my head securely in his palm while his other hand grips my hip, pulling my naked body to him. The coarseness of his clothes rubs against my sensitive skin. Trevor lets go of my mouth and my greedy intake of air falls on a gasp as he bites down on the crook of my neck.
“Even after two hours in the barn, you smell nice,” he mumbles, goosebumps erupting where his hot breath fans over my skin.
“Oh, just admit it, farmer, your favourite cologne is cow shit.”
Trevor chuckles and rises up to his full length, towering over me. “You and your cheeky mouth.”
“How are you going to punish me?” I sass, my heart picking up speed.
“By having you on your knees.”
My breath catches. “W-will that be punishment?”
“I don’t know.” He tilts his head to the side, that familiar smirk on his face. “You’ve never had a man in your mouth, have you?”
“Never.”
“So you’ll not know if you like it. Yet.”
I gulp. “I guess.”
Trevor whispers his command, “On your knees, boy.”
I hold his hooded gaze as I sink down to the floor. He pops the button of his jeans and my eyes drop. It’s all so surreal, my unhidden desire for him pointing up to my navel while his desire is pushing against his trousers, trying to break free. Slowly, he unzips. As if it has a life of its own, his anaconda wrestles out of the jeans, pointing at me, dark and menacing. I should feel small, insignificant, kneeling naked in front of Trevor’s towering, fully clothed frame, but I don’t. The submissive position ignites a surge of want so strong, I can’t help but eagerly open my mouth wide and wrap my lips around his large, swollen crown.
“Ah fuck, yes,” Trevor hisses.
The last months, I’ve thought a lot about what it will feel like, having a cock in my mouth. Any doubt I may have had about liking it vanishes. God, the taste of him, the softness of his bulbous head, how he fills and stretches my mouth so I hardly can breathe. It’s overpowering, addictive. I’m not able to take all of him, he’s too big. Maybe one day. He swears loudly as I use my fist on his length together with my mouth. I know what I like from a blow job, and I try to replicate that for Trevor, the pressure, the licks, the movement of my fists. Every moan, praise and threat fuels the fire inside of me. My cock is so sensitive, a drop of precum trickling down its length makes me moan deeply. Can I come from sucking someone off? Sucking Trevor off?
“Stop. S-stop…” he hisses, but I don’t want to. “Jamie.”
“Trevor,” I reply hoarsely and flatten my tongue and lick from the base of his cock, all the way up to the tip where the clear liquid teases my tastebuds.
He closes his eyes and groans, “I want the first time in this room to be together.”
My chest swells at his admission, and I let him help me up to standing. He all but attacks my mouth while stripping out of his clothes. He’s finally as naked as me, and we stumble onto the bed. I bury my fingers in his soft curls and my skin is on fire where Trevor’s strong hands roam my body. I’m lost in sensation as I rub my face against his chest, bite his shoulder, lick up the column of his throat, scrape my nails down his back. Our cocks rub between us, writing wet messages on our abs.
“I’ve never…” My words trail off on a moan as Trevor’s hand on my back forces me even closer to him.
“You’ve never what?”
“I’ve never been this turned on, never wanted anyone this much.”
The familiar smirk adorns his lips, but there’s tenderness in his eyes as he leans in and whispers in my ear, “I’ll let you in on a secret.”
“Yeah?”
His lips brush against my heated skin, goosebumps erupting in their wake. “I’ve never wanted anyone this much either.”
“Not even Gerard Butler?”
His low chuckle washes over me. “Not even Gerard Butler.”
If my heart swells any further, it will burst through my ribcage.
The big hand on my back glides further down and grips my ass. A thick finger trails down the crack.
“Are you going to take me?” I ask in nervous anticipation.
“I’d love to, boy, but if you haven’t noticed, I’m big.”
“I’ve kind of noticed,” I reply drily and rub my groin against his impressive cock.
I feel his smile against my skin before he nips at my earlobe. “You’ll need to practice with something smaller before I can take that cute ass of yours.” His tone is low and full of want when he asks, “Do you want to practice?”
I answer embarrassingly fast. “Yeah.”
Trevor growls and his hips rock against mine. “Have you ever had a finger up your ass?”
“No, never.”
Trevor knows I haven’t, but I think he gets off on hearing me admit it.
“Then let me take another of your firsts. Turn around.”
Without hesitation, I turn on my side, my back to him.
“So trusty and eager, my city boy.”
What does it say about me that his praise turns me on even further? I grip the sheet to keep still as I hear him open the bedside drawer. The click of a cap opening. I can’t help but arch my back when his hands again are on my glutes, now slick with lube, gliding up and down my crack. No matter how eager I am, I tense as his thick finger prods at my tight hole.
“Relax…”
I take a deep breath, and as I exhale, I force my muscles to go lax. His finger glides in easily. I’ve by equal measures dreaded and longed for this. It’s more strange than painful. Until Trevor adds a second finger. But I welcome the sting as he pushes past my tight ring – welcome it as it brings me one step closer to having Trevor taking me, owning me in every way.
“Ah God, yes…” The press against my prostate makes my toes curl and my eyes roll back in my head. “T-that’s so good.”
“I can’t wait to take you.” Trevor’s breath comes out in sharp puffs behind me, his cock gliding against the globe of my ass to the same rhythm as his fingers. He pauses, then the pressure increases with a third finger.
I hiss but push back, needing it deeper, wanting… “I want you to take me.”
“Christ, don’t say things like that.” The tempo of his long fingers increases.
“Please, Trevor.”
“Y-you’re not ready. I don’t want to hurt you.”
I reach behind me, find the solid column of his cock and squeeze it, and he moans deeply.
“Just the tip…” I beg.
“Jamie…”
“I want you to come inside of me,” I admit, meeting his gaze over my shoulder. He must see the need in my eyes. His growl reverberates through me, and I know I’ve got him.
His fingers slip out of me, and I guide the crown of his cock to my opening. Trevor’s hooded blue gaze never leaves mine as he flexes his hips, pushing, forcing my muscle to give way. I swear, but Trevor distracts me by grabbing my throbbing cock. His guttural moan as he enters me is the most erotic sound I’ve ever heard.
Trevor is inside of me.
It hurts, but at the same time, sparks fire from every nerve ending in my body, and with it is a sense of total completeness. It sets me ablaze. Sets me free.
While the tip of his cock is stretching me, I move my hand up and down his thick shaft to the same rhythm as Trevor’s fist pumps my cock. I whimper and tremble. I whisper his name, over and over, pleading.
“Trevor, please… Please…”
“It’s okay, boy. I’ll look after you,” he pants against my neck, his tone strained.
“Trevor!”
“Yes, together… Jamie! Come now!”
“Ah!” The world is spinning as I’m sucked into a vortex that explodes and sends me flying in thousands of pieces while Trevor roars to his own release. His cock pulse under my hand. Jets of cum shoot up his shaft and he comes inside of me. Claiming me as his.
* * *
I step out of the ensuite wearing Trevor’s robe. As the sex haze has settled, some of my shyness has returned. The corner of my lover’s mouth twitches as he rakes his eyes down my frame. Then he hands me a pair of boxers.
“Whenever you’re here on your own, I want you naked in bed,” he rumbles.
Heat fills my cheeks. “I’ll happily oblige.”
While I step into the boxers, Trevor opens the door to the hallway, leaving it ajar so we can hear if Adam wakes during the night.
Under the duvet, with the lights off, Trevor pulls me close. I’ve always been the big spoon, but I’m sure I’ll get used to being the little spoon.
“I hope you don’t snore, farmer,” I mumble in his strong embrace, my body heavy and sated.
“If I do, then you can wake me with your lips around my cock. It will make me stop snoring right away.”
I smile into the darkness. “I might just do that.”