13. Nova
13
NOVA
B ryan kissed me and I panicked. I wanted to kiss him back. I had let myself be swept away by the feel of his body and the press of his lips. It would have been so easy to melt into him. I had wanted to.
But I couldn’t. I was supposed to be a cook, the help, part of the woodwork, not someone he noticed, certainly not someone he kissed. At least for two more weeks.
If I could just survive this temporary job, then maybe I could come back and we could date. But not right now. I shouldn’t do this. I ran.
The cold air hit my lungs hard, and I started to cough as soon as I got outside. I sat in my car, struggling to catch my breath around the coughing fit. I hadn’t even bothered to put my coat on. I dumped it on the seat next to me. I couldn’t believe I had let Bryan kiss me like that. I couldn’t believe I had kissed him back.
It had been a moment of weakness. I didn’t know if I could keep doing this, knowing that he was there in that house. Knowing what it felt like to be in his arms and pretending that I could be completely professional and unaffected by him. Because that was a lie. Could I hold out for two weeks? I needed to go home and think about whether I was ever going to come back.
My little car sputtered to life. I drove entirely too fast back to my equally little apartment. My small collection of rooms felt stuffy. I opened the kitchen window to let some cool air in. My choices in this place were either entirely too hot and closed in or no heat at all. At the moment, the cold air felt refreshing and soothing to my jangled nerves once I got over the coughing.
I picked up my phone and texted my best friend back home. ‘ Can you talk? ’ I asked. I needed something to take my focus off the whirlwind in my head.
Not even a minute later, my phone was ringing with a video call.
“Are you okay?” Veronica asked immediately.
I could see the top of her forehead and the ceiling in her bedroom as she walked around.
“Hey, I’ve been better,” I admitted.
“Your mom said you weren’t coming home. You finally told her.”
“You talked to my mom?” I asked.
“She and your dad came into the restaurant for dinner tonight.” Veronica worked a second job as a hostess at a local restaurant. “She was really upset that you couldn’t manage to get away.”
If I had been smarter, I would have done that too. Instead, I thought I would be able to survive with a single job.
“You’ve known you weren’t coming home for months,” she scolded me.
“I know,” I whined. “I had really been holding out for the Christmas bonus.”
She laughed. “The grocery store coupon?”
“It was a voucher. But yeah. That was supposed to have been enough bonus cash for a flight home. At least that’s what they made me believe. Veronica, this school has been a disaster.”
“So quit and come home.”
She was right. I should leave and go home. But Amelia… Bryan…
“I can’t. I got a job over break,” I admitted.
“Are you serious?” She stopped moving around and set the phone down. Now my view of her was directly up her nose as she put makeup on. I set my phone down and flopped on the threadbare couch I had scrounged off the side of the road.
“It’s just temporary.”
“What did you find to do? You sound stressed.”
“I’m cooking for a rich man and his small daughter,” I said.
“Cooking, huh?”
“I tried to get a job with a caterer, and this happened instead. It’s for while his full-time cook is on vacation.”
“You’re working for a man with a full-time cook? Damn, he must be rich. What’s his wife like?” she asked.
“No wife, just him and his daughter. And occasionally, his mother.”
“Is he old?”
“What? No, he’s probably later thirties, early forties.”
“Is he hot?”
“Veronica!” I was not about to admit to her that he was sex on legs hot.
I hadn’t told her about our little hookup after the disappointing Christmas bonus situation. Typically, I told Veronica everything, but I was still reeling from David’s betrayal and not feeling like sharing my disaster of a love life.
“I guess. I don’t know. I spend most of my time with the kid. We spent the day putting up a Christmas tree.” And then Bryan kissed me and…
“I thought you were supposed to be a cook. Since when do cooks put up Christmas trees?” Veronica laughed.
“I’m a cook, a nanny, and now apparently, an interior decorator.”
“Make sure you get all of these listed on your resume,” Veronica said. “You never know what job skills they’re going to want at the next school you apply to. You are applying to another school next year, aren’t you? You aren’t planning on staying there?”
I couldn’t imagine staying at Wentworth another year. “Absolutely not. I plan on coming home,” I said. “But I do have to finish this year.”
“Why? Break your contract and come home. What are they going to do?”
I lay back and propped my feet on the opposite arm rest. “I don’t know what they would do, but I bet it would be something. They already backed out on other promises, and when I tried to point out in the contract where their offer was supposed to include housing, they countered with some legalese text that basically covered their asses. I’m not a lawyer, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they had it in the contract that I’m supposed to cover all incurred expenses if they have to hire someone to replace me. I can suck it up through the end of the school year. In the meantime, I’m on a mission to save Christmas for this kid.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Veronica asked.
“Either this kid has a good sense of the dramatic or she’s had a pretty tough time. Her grandmother is a real ball buster, and this is like the first time they’ve ever had a Christmas tree,” I said.
“What?”
“Yeah, apparently, they’ve never had a Christmas tree before. It’s really fun to see Christmas through the eyes of this little girl. It’s all magical.”
“Christmas is nothing but a bunch of work and shopping,” Veronica said.
“That’s what I always do. That’s what I’ve thought too. When you’re six, it’s like magic happening all around. She’s giving me a new perspective.”
“That sounds like you’re getting attached.”
“She’s a cute kid. I’m not getting attached. Are you heading out with the secret boyfriend?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Don’t change the subject on me. I see what you’re doing. Don’t fall for the kid, and don’t fall for her father. We all know how that worked out for you last time,” she said.
I groaned. David had been my manager at the childcare center I worked at before I graduated with my teaching license. Falling for the boss was a bad move. Falling for Bryan… That was out of my control.
“Okay, now change of subject. This guy is turning out pretty good. He’s taking me to a Christmas party,” she admitted.
“Do I get to meet him?”
Neither Veronica nor I had particularly good luck with men. Veronica’s last few boyfriends had been nothing short of spectacularly bad. She stopped introducing them altogether to save herself the judgment and disappointment. The idea was that as soon as the current guy seemed worthy enough, she would introduce us.
Considering how bad everything with David had gone for me, I did not blame her. I wish I hadn’t introduced him to anyone. In a similar fashion, I wasn’t going to tell her about Bryan. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He was my boss, and just because we had a very intense encounter, it didn’t mean I needed to tell her about him.
“Maybe,” she said. “Let’s see if he doesn’t mess up Christmas.”
“So, based on your Christmas present, I get to meet him?” I asked.
“Didn’t you once have a boyfriend buy you raw steak for a birthday present? I think a major gift-giving holiday is a decent litmus test. If this guy gets me something weird and generic, bye, boy. If he gets me something thoughtful, well, that might be impressive enough to let him meet some people.”
“Oh, my God. I had successfully repressed that memory. They hadn’t even been high-end Wagyu steaks or anything. Just grocery store sirloin cuts.”
“Now that’s something you can use your grocery store coupon on.”
I laughed. I hadn’t thought there had been anything worse than expecting a bonus and getting a grocery store voucher, but those steaks had been pretty bad. “Right now, I think steaks as a bonus would have been better.”
“I’m gonna have to go,” Veronica said.
“Real quick.” I stopped her from hanging up. “Show me what you’re wearing.”
Veronica set her phone up and danced a few feet back. She wore a form fitting, sparkly red dress.
“You look amazing. Have a good time.”
“Love you, sweetie. Sorry you’re not going to be home for Christmas. Miss you. Bye.” She made kissy lips at me.
I made a kissy face at her, and then we ended the call. Everything in my apartment went silent. Damn, I missed her.
I thought about what I had said, how Christmas through Amelia’s eyes was completely magical. How could I even think of not going back simply because Bryan had kissed me again? No, I wasn’t going to ruin that child’s Christmas. If anything, I was going to make it her best Christmas ever because I wanted to have those memories too. If I was going to make this year Amelia’s best Christmas memory, then I needed to pull out all the stops, and that meant we were going to need to build and decorate a gingerbread house.
I immediately began making a shopping list. They probably had the ingredients at the house, but I didn’t want to risk it. I’d stop off at the store on my way to work in the morning.