30. Aspen
The wind knocks out of me, a distinct ringing in my ears as Caden leans forward on the couch to reach for my hands. They’re already trembling as I expect what he’s about to say.
Oh, why didn’t I see it? It all makes sense now…
“Ryker and Alexandra… they were very close to us,” Caden explains gently. “Just like you’re close to us.”
Sweat forms at my brow, but Caden holds fast to my hands as the others move closer.
“We cared for Alexandra,” Pike pipes in. “But Ryker loved her, and he didn’t want to share her anymore.”
I inhale sharply. “You were okay with that?” I ask coldly, trying to imagine any of the three simply allowing me to leave with one. They all appear perplexed by my question.
“Of course,” Flint replies. “They were in love. It was what Alexandra wanted. They were our friends, our family.”
Baffled, I look at all their faces, but I can see no lie on any of them.
“It hurt,” Caden jumps in. “We thought we had something special going with Alexandra. But ultimately, it was their decision, and we wouldn’t stand in their way.”
Again, I scan their faces, trying to imagine which one of them I would choose if I had to. I shake my head. “I couldn’t do it,” I mumble. “Choose between you.”
“You never met Ryker,” I joke. “He was a remarkable guy.”
“The best of us,” Caden agrees, but I find it hard to believe that anyone was better than the three men before me, even with all their flaws.
“That’s why they entrusted us with Lily,” Caden continues. “Because we’re more than just old school friends. We have shared a deeper connection.”
I think of Zoe subtly telling me she has been down this road before and all three of their attachment issues. There were signs, but I willfully ignored them.
A fusion of hurt and sorrow twines in my gut. “Why didn’t you just tell me before?” I ask. “You can tell me anything!”
“We didn’t want to scare you off,” he tells me, stroking my hair gently.
My head swivels to stare at him sadly. “We’re a team, a family. I’ve never felt safer or more secure anywhere than here. Nothing you could tell me would make me want to leave. I thought you understood that about me.”
“We underestimated your feelings for us,” Pike sighs.
“Obviously!” I bite on my lower lip, unsure that the knot in my gut will ever subside now. I’m not put off because there was another woman. It’s depressing that they hadn’t told me.
Zoe tentatively steps into the kitchen, poking her head around the threshold. “Lily’s in her bedroom,” she announces.
“We should go tuck her in,” I sigh, rising.
“Aspen, are you going to leave?” Pike demands.
I whirl around and shake my head vehemently. “Have you not heard a word I’m saying?”
“Not even if we lose Lily?”
Everyone freezes with Pike’s blunt question, the blood draining from my face. “We’re not losing Lily…” I whisper.
“Stop,” Flint snaps. “Lily is waiting for us to tuck her in.”
Silently, we form a single file line and head up the west side staircase toward Lily’s room. She’s already tucked in her unicorn canopy, her dark hair brushed and spilling around her small shoulders as she sinks into a pile of pillows.
“You’re all here!” she squeaks excitedly, and my heart swells with love for her.
We can’t lose her. We won’t.
“Who’s going to read me a story?” Lily asks.
“All of us are,” I decide, picking her favorite book from the shelf and perching on the edge of the bed. “I’ll start, and then I’ll give it to Papa Caden, and he’ll hand it to Papa Pike?—”
“And then Papa Flint!” the child concludes.
“You got it,” I say, trailing off as a lightbulb goes off in my mind. I blank out for a moment, my eyes darting toward each of the men, tongue darting nervously over my lower lip.
If I’m right…
“Mama Aspen, are you going to read?”
“Yes, honey, I’m sorry.” I clear my throat. “Once, in the wooded woods, there were seven angry goats…”
I barely manage my part, my mind still whirling before handing the book to Caden as my heart hammers wildly.
“Are you okay?” Flint whispers in my ear.
I nod, knowing this isn’t the time, but I can’t wait until we’re all alone again.
The book seems to go on forever, but eventually, Lily’s dark eyes grow heavy, and the excitement from the party kicks in. She’s asleep, her chest rising and falling softly as Pike tucks the unicorn duvet around her chin.
I can barely contain myself as we pile out the door and secure the little girl inside. I turn to confront them in the hallway upstairs, stopping them in their tracks.
“You say that Alexandra chose Ryker,” I breathe excitedly the second I’m sure we’re out of earshot. “How quickly did they get married after?”
He stares at me for a moment, trying to read my expression.
“Almost right away,” Caden replies and looks away, confirming what I already suspected in my gut.
“And how soon after that was Lily conceived?” I press.
“What is all this about, Aspen?” Flint asks tersely.
“How soon?!”
“They were married… six months? Seven months?” Pike guesses.
I feel a small spark of disappointment, but I’m not convinced it’s over yet.
“And she never went back to any of you after she committed to Ryker? Not once?”
No one answers me, and I exhale as if I’ve won the jackpot. Guilt shadows all three of their faces, but they don’t look at one another, and I realize that none of them knew about the other.
“It was one time,” Flint confesses first. “Once. She missed me and wanted?—”
“Closure,” Caden concludes, his eyes bulging as he gapes at Flint. “You too?”
“She told me the same thing!” Pike almost yells, and I press my hands together.
“When was it, guys?” I demand. “Think really hard because this could be relevant.”
“It was close to the time that Lily was conceived,” Flint admitted. “I considered she was mine, but it only happened once. The chances seemed so slim.”
“Yeah, it was before the holidays,” Caden recalls, rubbing his chin in thought. “In the fall sometime.”
“Same here.”
I could cry. “You know what this means, don’t you?”
“No, Aspen, don’t get your hopes up,” Flint warns me. “It was one time?—”
“For each of you,” I interject. “The chances that Lily is one of yours just went up three times.”
They all stop and consider my position.
“It’s still a long shot—no pun intended,” Caden mutters. “But if she’s right…”
“If I’m right, Raya’s hearing is void because one of you is Lily’s biological father. She won’t have a leg to stand on in any court in the country, no matter how much noise she makes.”
“We need to get a DNA test—pronto!” Flint chokes.
* * *
As much as I dislike Flint’s attorney, Julian takes charge of handling the DNA matter. He’s a prick, but he’s an efficient prick.
At first, none of the men wanted to know the truth about Lily’s paternity if the test proved Ryker was not her father, but Julian put an end to that fantasy in his usual, snotty way.
“How do you expect to deal with that in court?” he demands. “Of course you need to know who the father is.”
In the end, we decided we would learn the truth but keep it from Lily until she was old enough to handle it.
“It changes nothing,” I reiterate to all of them. “You’re still her parents. All of you, no matter what that test tube says.”
I witness all the terms, but I know these men won’t betray one another. Lily’s paternity doesn’t make any difference to them. It doesn’t change the way they feel about her. This pact makes me love them more, but the few days of waiting are unbearable. Like Caden, Flint, and Pike, I don’t care who her father is, except that I truly hope it is one of them.
The hearing date approaches, and the DNA test still hasn’t arrived.
“Dammit, how long do these things take?” Pike explodes at Caden.
“You’re asking me?” Caden demands, blinking in surprise. “I’m not running the test.”
“You’re supposed to be a doctor, aren’t you?” Pike growls back.
“Okay, that’s enough,” I interject, standing at the breakfast table. “Everyone’s getting tense.”
“The damn hearing is coming up,” Pike reminds me as if I don’t have it marked on my calendar.
“I have good hearing,” Lily informs us, and I arch an eyebrow at Pike.
“Yes, honeybee, you do. You have the best hearing in the world,” Pike agrees, appearing sheepish, as if he forgot that Lily is sitting with us at the breakfast table.
“More coffee, Aspen?” Zoe asks.
“Yes, please,” I tell her gratefully, but as the words leave my mouth, the sound of Flint’s office door banging open echoes through the house.
“He’s got it! He’s finally fucking got it!” Flint yells, rushing into the kitchen. Like a cartoon character, his feet screech to a stop when he sees Lily. “Good morning, darling.”
“Papa Flint, put money in the swear jar for Disneyland.”
“You’re right, lovey,” he says, his smile wide and bright as he yanks his wallet out of his back pocket and drops a hundred-dollar bill on the table. “Why don’t you put that in there for me?”
With no sense for money yet, Lily shrugs and picks it up off the table, sliding off her chair to do as he requests, leaving the beaming real estate mogul in our wake. “The results are back,” he whispers. My heart hammers in anticipation.
“And?” I squeak. “What do they say?”
His blue-gray eyes lock on mine, shining with gratitude and happiness as he waves his head. “They say that you’re a damn genius, Aspen Palco. One of us is the father.”