Chapter 14 #2
She was animated, noticeably excited. “It sounds like you’re legitimately considering going into business with her,” I said.
“I don’t know. It’s…scary.”
“It’s outside your comfort zone. That’s often a good thing. It means you’re stretching. Growing.”
“It’s so far outside of my comfort zone.”
“Why is it?”
“Business owner? Me?” she said, her voice pitching high. “I told you I don’t know a thing about running a business.”
“You have a unique product line in your jewelry. Plus ideas for other lines. Business is something you can learn. I’m betting Cambria has some business acumen, or she wouldn’t be looking to open a store.”
“I don’t really know. We’ve sort of fallen out of touch as adults.” She went thoughtful and quiet again, then asked, “It would be crazy to pursue this, right?”
“Maybe it’d be crazy not to.”
She laughed as if she thought I wasn’t serious.
“Harper, you told me barely twenty-four hours ago you needed to find purpose. Something that excites you.”
She sighed. “You’re going to use my words against me, aren’t you?” she said.
I laughed quietly. “You’re going to fight what’s right in front of you, aren’t you?”
She leaned her head back into the cushion, peering at the ceiling fan on the overhang that sheltered this part of the deck.
“Tell me what scares you about it,” I said.
“Everything,” she said without thought.
“Let’s break that down.”
She lifted her head to frown at me. “You’re going into teacher mode now.”
“It’s what I do. It seems like you showed up tonight to talk through this, right?”
“Maybe I came over because you called me hot.”
“If that were the case, you wouldn’t have told me about this business opportunity. You would’ve avoided it by kissing me. Again.”
With an adorable pouty look, she said, “You don’t have to call me out.”
“Just calling ’em like I see ’em.”
“It’s not too late for me to go the kissing route.” She said it like a threat.
The way my body reacted, it was anything but a threat.
“We had our one date last night,” I said as if I wasn’t tempted to lean over and kiss her this time. “Besides, you’d still have the same problem weighing you down afterward.”
“Logical people are annoying,” she said, but the fact that she didn’t kiss me told me she really did want to talk out her decision, regardless of acting grumpy.
I held myself back from touching her in support. “If you went into business with Cambria, what’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“I could fail,” she said with zero hesitation.
That quick response took me aback. “People fail all the time.”
“I don’t.”
“You’ve never failed?”
Harper bit her lip, thinking. She scrunched her nose up and said, “Not really. No.”
I tilted my head and gave her a skeptical look.
She shrugged. “You can’t fail if you don’t really try.”
“You haven’t tried at anything? Ever?”
That was so opposite of my life in sports that I couldn’t fathom it. And school… I’d always strived for good grades and graduated with a four-point-oh average.
“Just ask my dad. It frustrates the hell out of him.” A ghost of a grin tugged at her lips for a second then disappeared.
“Wouldn’t he be happy to see you take a chance on this?”
She covered her face with both hands, then slid them down to her mouth.
“Speaking as a parent,” I continued, ignoring the inner voice that said I had no idea what I was doing as a parent, “I’d think he wants you to find success and happiness, whatever that might look like.”
With her hands still in front of her mouth, she tapped her index fingers together repeatedly, agitated, not meeting my gaze. Then with a gusty exhalation, she spit out, “It’s not about my dad. It’s a me thing.”
She was obviously struggling, and I could no longer resist touching her. I spread my palm over her lower thigh, above her knee.
“I’m scared of failing,” she said in a quiet voice.
“Of embarrassing myself. Always have been. I know my dad just wants me to be happy. I’ve tried to make myself believe I’ve been happy all these years drifting along, but deep down, I hate that I’m a scaredy cat.
I hate that I can’t seem to put myself out there and do anything meaningful.
” She squeezed her eyes shut tight. “Hate it.”
“You do meaningful things. Look at the gala last night. You had everyone tearing up.”
“That was for Naomi.”
“That was meaningful.”
Her hand landed on mine, but it almost seemed incidental. She was clearly lost in her thoughts, and I’d bet they weren’t kind toward her.
“Harper. Give yourself some credit.”
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “You don’t understand.”
“Why don’t you explain?”
Though she hadn’t shed any tears, her breath in was shaky.
“Come here.” I lifted my arm and made a place for her to sit in the crook of it.
Her short skirt made shifting awkward, but she settled in next to me, her legs stretched out on the perpendicular side of the sectional, and rested her hand on my thigh.
“Tell me what I don’t understand,” I said.
She trailed her finger back and forth on my leg, over the fabric of my sweats. Her eyes tracked her movement as her strokes went from short ones to longer ones. I’d already been struggling to ignore the effects her nearness had on me. But with her finger inching farther up my thigh…
I caught her hand in mine and wove our fingers together. Her gaze shot up to my face.
“Getting a little too close,” I told her.
Her brows shot up, as if she was considering a full-on diversion tactic.
“We’re talking about important stuff. You’re not going to distract me,” I said, meaning it.
She slumped back against my side, not talking but not trying to pull her hand out of mine either.
After several minutes ticked by, I felt her take in a deep breath. Then she said, “My family is a bunch of high achievers.”
“Yeah?”
“Every single one of them. My sister is a junior partner at a big law firm in Boston. My brother makes a boat load of money as a stock analyst in New York and is happily married to Brian. Both my siblings were straight-A students. Ashley played volleyball and basketball. Jon played varsity soccer and went to State on the swim team. My dad, well, you know him. Everybody respects him. He’s all about achievement, grades, activities, volunteering.
My mom lives in San Francisco, and she’s an interior decorator who caters to high-profile clients.
Apparently small-town ranch homes and lake houses weren’t enough for her. ”
“That’s a lot to live up to, huh?”
She scoffed. “You think? I grew up hearing all about how Ashley aced her government test and got voted class president. Jon was the valedictorian. My dad earned his doctorate when I was in grade school. I remember in first grade, Ms. Tanney raved about both my siblings. In front of the entire class, she said she expected great things from me.”
I grimaced, guessing Ms. Tanney must’ve meant it in a positive, encouraging way, but obviously that wasn’t how Harper had taken it.
You never knew, as a teacher or a coach, how things might land with any particular student. Every kid was different. Every kid was motivated by different things. There was no one-size-fits-all in teaching.
“I figured out early on it was easier to not try,” she continued. “I already knew I couldn’t do better than my older siblings on grades, so why try? I guess it stuck.”
I pulled her to my side a little tighter.
The teacher in me hated to hear that, but I’d had students over the years in a similar position.
Add Harper’s overzealous, well-meaning dad to the mix, and I could begin to understand how she’d taken the road that had worked for her.
It was a shame she’d felt like less before she’d even gotten started.
“So yeah,” she said. “I don’t have a lot of experience going after things I want.”
“But you might want this.”
“I don’t even know. Maybe? I don’t know the first thing to do.” She hesitated, then asked, “What would you do?”
“I’d get more information,” I said easily. “Talk to Cambria. Find out what she’s thinking. Discuss possibilities with her. Did she ask my sister too?”
“Yes, she was talking to both Dakota and me.”
“The three of you should meet then. You can’t decide on anything until you understand more of the variables.”
“You’re using math words,” she said, acting disgusted.
I laughed. “Math people do that sometimes. It fits though. You need more information.”
“Yeah.” She was still for a few seconds. Then she stood abruptly, walked to the railing, and looked out toward the lake.
I missed having her against me the second she stood.
Leaning forward, elbows on my knees, I watched her in the darkness, her back to me.
A few strands of her hair rustled in the breeze.
My eyes were drawn to the silhouette of her body, the womanly curves of her hips, the inward dip of her waist, the sexiness of her long legs and bare feet.
I knew her toes were painted in a magenta polish even though I couldn’t see it from here.
Now that she was at a safer distance, I couldn’t deny how much I wanted her. I wanted to know more of her secrets.
What kind of panties was she wearing under that short skirt?
How sweet would her nipples taste?
What kind of sounds did she make when she came?
My blood pounded through me as my dick grew hard. I stood, acknowledged I was making a poor decision, and went to join her at the railing anyway.