Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chance
One of the cool things about having a former NFL quarterback in our dad group was that Max could afford man toys and liked to share.
Harper, his fiancée, had taken two-year-old Danny for a sleepover at her apartment with Dakota so Max could host us this week. All five of the rest of us had shown up—Knox, Ben, Luke, West, and me—and we’d gravitated toward some cutthroat foosball and pool first thing.
Max had smoked a shit ton of ribs, made a slow cooker full of baked beans, mixed two pans of corn bread, and stirred up some cole slaw just like a regular Martha Stewart. Between the food and the toys, it was no wonder his house was our favorite place to meet.
After our initial breaking-in of the game tables, we sat around in his basement that felt more like a high-class men’s club, minus naked women, stuffing the damn good food in our faces and shooting the shit.
“So Danny’s hanging out with the pretty girls tonight, huh?” West said as he leaned over a rib.
“If by pretty girls you mean his future mommy and her friend,” Max said. “We started the adoption process last week. It should be official shortly after the wedding.”
“Congrats on getting it started,” Ben said. “We’re going through that times two. Or four, depending on how you look at it.”
“There’s gonna be an awful lot of little Holloways running around this town,” Luke said.
“That’s just the four they’ve already got,” West joked. “How long till you and Emerson increase that population yet again?”
“We’re not in any hurry,” Ben said. “We both remember how much work infants and toddlers are.”
“Nothing quite like potty training,” West agreed, shaking his head. “I’ve heard boys are easier.”
“Built-in target shooting,” Luke said. “Addie was pretty easy. Just had to bribe her with Skittles, and she was all over it.”
“I suspect Danny’s gonna be a project,” Max said. “His latest trick is stripping down naked and streaking around the house—or my mom’s house if he happens to be there.”
“Naked?” I asked. “Diaper and everything?”
“Diaper and everything.” Max laughed. “I haven’t found any good advice on parenting sites for this one.”
“Maybe potty training will be easy with him,” Knox said. “Could he be ready now? Just throw him on the toilet every time he gets naked?”
“He’s barely two, but it’s worth a try,” Max said, eyebrows raised.
“Juniper’s got a while before we start,” Knox said. “We’ve currently got our hands full with tantrums.”
“She’s not even two yet, is she?” I asked.
Knox shook his head. “She’ll be two in May.”
“You got a precocious one there,” West said.
Knox held up his bottle of Rusty Anchor. “I’m very afraid of my future.”
We all laughed—with him, not at him. We each knew our time would come for all the “fun” stages. I’d always thought I was done with the infant and toddler ones and taunted these guys with teenage ones. The joke was on me apparently, though none of them knew it yet except for West.
I got up for more ribs and a handful of paper towels, knowing I needed to tell them my news but unsure how to start.
Someone’s phone rang.
“Hell,” Ben said as he wiped sauce off his hands. “I’d rather not have an emergency tonight.”
As the town vet, he’d had his evenings out interrupted plenty of times before.
“It’s Emerson,” he said when he saw the screen, relaxing and accepting the call. “Hey, Ems.”
I carried my plate back to the table where we were eating. Either we were all nosy or just busy stuffing our faces because no one except Ben spoke, allowing us to hear his conversation.
“What do you mean Esmerelda won’t let you into the stall?” he asked his wife.
Emerson was emphatic and emotional on the other end, loud enough we could get the idea there were llama shenanigans, even though we couldn’t quite understand her words.
“Just another day at the Holloway house,” Knox joked.
“You’re sure it’s not one of the barn cats?” Ben said into the phone.
“Only a couple dozen of those to keep track of,” Max said, grinning.
“It’s not Pixie, is it?… Ah. Right.” Ben stood and took several aimless steps away from the table. “Can you get Esmerelda out of her stall?”
“Things must be desperate if he thinks letting that llama out would be a good thing,” Max said.
The five of us not on the call cracked llama jokes and brought up some of Esmerelda’s previous stunts. Max had helped capture her multiple times and probably deserved some kind of honorary veterinary designation. Llama capture specialist?
“I have to go,” Ben said to us as he came back to the table. “As soon as I finish my beans and this last rib.” He sat back down and spooned in some beans as we waited.
“The escape artist llama won’t come out of her stall now?” Knox asked.
“It seems Esmerelda is adding protective services to her llama resume,” Ben said between bites. “A stray cat got into her stall and is curled up in the back corner. Emerson suspects the cat has an injured leg, but she can’t be sure, because Esmerelda won’t let anyone get close to the cat.”
“She’s not planning to eat the cat, is she?” Max asked with a chuckle.
“She’s a vegetarian.” Ben finished his beans, as unbothered as could be. “Emerson tried to slip past Esmerelda, and the llama spit at her. My wife is threatening to make llama sausage.”
That spurred laughter all around. Emerson might talk tough, but she’d never hurt her husband’s beloved llama.
Once Ben had stuffed his food down the gullet, he stood, took care of his plate, and said, “I’m off to battle the beasts and see if I can help a stray cat.”
“That one’ll end up adopted,” Max said to the rest of us. “You watch.”
“You’re a cat household now,” Ben said to him, pointing at the duo of kittens asleep in the center of the pool table while we took a break from it. “I’ll get Harper on my side, and soon you’ll have three instead of two felines.”
“Not gonna happen,” Max called out to him.
Ben left, and the rest of us joked about his situation while we finished eating.
I needed to spill my news soon. Once the food was cleaned up, they planned to go into video game mode, and my chance would be lost. I wanted these guys to know before word got out all over town. Now that Sam knew, it was a matter of time.
“So,” I said, standing at the bar where the food had been served. “Before the games begin, I’ve got something to say.”
West already knew everything, and he seemed to sense that’s where I was going. For once he didn’t crack any smart-ass comments. He stood next to me, as if in support. I nodded at him in thanks.
“What’s going on?” Knox asked as he tossed some trash in the waste basket.
You’d think I’d have a plan for what to say, but I still hadn’t figured it out. To hell with easy. I opted for blunt.
“I’m going to be a father again,” I said.
All movement in the room halted as three heads turned my way. I saw West nod out of the corner of my eye.
“I don’t know which question to ask first,” Luke said.
“You got a girl pregnant?” Max asked.
“I’m not planning to give birth myself,” I said dryly.
“Who?” Knox asked.
“What the fuck?” was Luke’s question.
“Did you know about this?” Max asked West. “You must have for you to be able to keep quiet right now.”
“Fucker,” West said to him with a grin. “I knew.”
“Your roommate hasn’t been there long enough for you to get her with child, has she?” Luke came up on the other side of me and stopped, looking like he was doing math in his head.
“The timing is suspect,” Max said.
“You gonna put them out of their misery?” West asked me.
“Once they shut up and listen,” I told him lightly.
“I’m listening.” Knox stood on the opposite side of the bar, his attention fully on me.
“I hooked up with someone on New Year’s Eve,” I said.
“It was your roommate,” Knox said, sounding sure of it. He’d been at the inn’s party.
“Was it?” Luke popped the lid off another beer.
“She wasn’t my roommate then, but yes. It’s Rowan. The night we got together, I thought she was just in town for a short stay. She ended up getting a job from Chloe.”
“At the brewery?” Luke asked.
“What are the chances?” Max said.
“Chloe and Rowan have a friend in common,” I explained. “But I didn’t know any of that until Rowan’s first day on the job.”
I explained how I hadn’t seen her since our hookup and hadn’t expected to ever see her again. How we’d then agreed we could work together without a problem.
“And then she found out she was pregnant,” I said.
“Shit.” Luke stared at me with his beer halfway to his mouth.
“That was pretty much my thought too,” I said.
Max reached to the upper cabinets and took out a bottle of whiskey.
“Good call, amigo,” West said as our host distributed highball glasses and filled them with the top-shelf liquor.
“So now Rowan’s living with you?” Knox asked. “You didn’t mention you were involved with someone.”
“I’m not,” I said. “Ben would appreciate this part of the story. Rowan was having a hard time finding a place to live, so I told her I had a spare room. She eventually agreed. We just told Sam about the baby a few days ago, so the secret’s out now.
I wanted you guys to hear it from me, not the Tattler. ”
“Shit,” Luke said again. “How’re you doing with this?”
“I’ll let you know when I figure that out.” I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to release the tension.
“But you and Rowan aren’t involved?” Knox asked.
“That depends on how you define involved,” West said. “If you’re living together and having a baby together, you’re involved.”
“But not romantically,” I said emphatically. I raised my glass to my lips and swigged the whiskey.
“She’s not the type you’d want to have a relationship with?” Max asked.
I took a few seconds to find the right words. “If I was open to a relationship, Rowan would be the type I’d want.”
“Why aren’t you open to a relationship?” The expression on Luke’s face said he thought I was a dumbass.
Letting myself get further involved with Rowan would be the true dumbass move.
“We’re planning to share parenting duties,” I said. “That’s eighteen plus years. We don’t know quite how it’ll look, but I don’t want to do anything to fuck up that co-parent relationship.”
“Who’s to say it would fuck it up?” Knox asked.
“What are the chances this woman I spent less than one night with and I could make it work for the long run?” I countered.
“But what if you could?” Luke asked. “There’s a risk, sure, but there’s also a big potential payoff if you make it work. That baby would be better off with a real, cohesive family than some kind of shared custody arrangement. A mom and a dad, a sister, a stable home.”
“That’s true,” Knox said.
That thought had done more than cross my mind. It’d gotten in and camped out, making it harder to know which was the bigger risk and what would be better for the kids.
“You have to look at the other side too,” West said to the others. “What happens if they make a go of it and it doesn’t work out? The kid loses.”
“You’re coming from a string of relationships that didn’t work out,” Luke said to West. “No offense, man.”
“None taken. My track record’s shit,” West said with a humble chuckle. “Which is why I won’t get serious with anyone anymore. Chance is smart to keep his heart out of it.”
“Chance’s history is different from yours,” Luke pointed out. “He’s been married once. No breakups. Just a tragic end.”
“That tragic end fucked with my head,” I said honestly. “I know Erin was an addict, but what if I was what made her so unhappy she needed to numb herself?”
“I thought you said she got hooked after a medical procedure,” Max said.
I shrugged. “Who really knows? I don’t know how long she was on the pills. Did she start them because of physical pain like I thought? Was she already hooked when I met her? Addicts hide shit. She never came up to me and said, honey, I think I took one too many pills, and now I can’t stop.”
“I can’t imagine what you went through,” Knox said, “but Erin has nothing to do with Rowan and your current situation.”
“If there’s some chemistry, maybe you two should give it a go,” Luke said. “See what happens instead of jumping ten steps ahead and assuming it’ll be a breakup.”
“I get what you guys are saying.” I took another big gulp, let the alcohol sit on my tongue, then swallowed it, savoring that burn. I couldn’t pretend there was no chemistry between Rowan and me. It was all I could do not to repeat that kiss that never should’ve happened.
Fuck. Giving in to the attraction was tempting twenty-four seven. Was I being a dumbass to straight up rule it out? Or would it be the worst move ever to try to make it work with Rowan?
“My confidence in interpersonal relationships is in the shitter,” I told them. “I have enough trouble with Sam, and now I’ll be throwing a baby into the mix. How dumb would it be to add a woman?”
“They come with some upsides.” Knox held up his glass for a toast, grinning. “Here’s to sex on the regular.”
“Oh, see, this is where we draw the line. It should be three against two,” West said, “the singles who have to work for it versus you married and engaged fuckers. But we got romantic Luke over there who’s a unicorn and gets along with his baby mama to this day.”
“It doesn’t have to be contentious,” Luke said.
Luke and Addie’s mom had never been married. Their relationship had been brief, from what I understood. Now the mom was in the military. Luke had full-time custody, but he let Addie’s mom spend as much time with the girl as she could whenever she was on leave.
“Not everyone can get along like you and what’s-her-name,” West said.
“Do you really want to be single and lonely for the rest of your life?” Luke asked, his gaze zeroing in on me.
After Erin’s death, I’d convinced myself I wanted to be single for as long as it took to get Sam raised. I hadn’t accounted for meeting someone like Rowan.
“Truth?” I said, swirling my nearly empty glass. “I don’t know what the hell I want.”
I’d expected these guys to side with me, to have my back and easily see I had my hands full with a teenager and, soon, a baby. I’d thought they’d consider my decision to keep distance between Rowan and me a wise one.
I should’ve known better. Half our group was blissfully in love and forgot how rocky it was to start a new relationship and build it into something solid. They were there, on solid ground.
The thing was, the more I saw how happy my turncoat friends were, the more I started to want what they had for myself.
I needed to keep my wits about me and my dick in my pants until I figured out what was best, not only for me but for everyone involved.