Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Rowan
On Sunday I tried my best to act like it was just another day. Tried to pretend my heart didn’t feel like it’d been shoved through a meat grinder.
I was in the back seat of Presley’s car, Chloe was riding shotgun, and we were finally going to see the lakefront house Presley had bought.
Though my eyes were gritty with fatigue, I welcomed the excuse to get out of Chance’s house for a couple of hours.
A couple more hours, as I’d also taken Sam to another knitting session at Fat Cat.
After leaving Chance’s office in the wee hours of the morning, I’d closed myself in my room the way I should’ve done from the start. I hadn’t even tried to sleep, knowing it would elude me. Instead I’d dived back into the search for a place to live.
I’d discovered nothing had really changed.
There were still very few listings in Dragonfly Lake.
The only one I’d found in my budget was in the town of Runner, about fifteen miles away.
I’d never been there and didn’t love the idea of starting over in yet another place, even though I’d still be working at the brewery.
I was desperate to live somewhere else though and had even searched for rentals in Nashville.
The problem was rent was higher in a large city, and when you added the cost of commuting an hour each way, it didn’t make sense.
I’d be better off finding a job in Nashville, but that wasn’t what I wanted at all.
I apparently wasn’t going to get what I wanted, so I needed to find my plan B and get started on it.
I’d get back to searching tonight.
“Here we are,” Presley said as she turned into a driveway on the lake side of Honeysuckle Road.
“Two doors down from Max Dawson,” Chloe said.
That Presley could buy a house in the same neighborhood as a former NFL player—with cash—said a lot.
She pulled up in front of a three-car garage that was connected to a cottage-style white-with-gray-stonework home.
“Nice,” Chloe said.
“It looks beautiful from here,” I agreed.
“The exterior is in good shape, thank God,” Presley said as she opened her door. “The inside, well, you’ll see.”
The three of us went in the front door, where we could see through a large room with tall windows to the lake beyond.
“That view is amazing,” Chloe said.
“I can’t wait to see it in the summer.” Presley closed the door and gestured us forward.
The three of us wandered around the empty three-thousand-square-foot house, talking as we went.
“I forgot to tell you guys, Bronte Henry was born at nine forty-seven this morning,” Chloe said, her voice animated, as we started with the master bedroom. “Eight pounds, two ounces.”
“Bronte. Adorable name,” Presley said.
“Not a small baby, from what I’ve read,” I said. “Ava and Bronte are doing well? And of course Cash?”
“Everyone’s healthy and happy,” Chloe said. “I cannot wait to meet her. This view? A bed right here? I don’t think I’d ever get out.”
“I call bullshit. You’d never be able to not work,” Presley said, laughing. “I have to admit the idea of a view from my bed was part of what made me jump at this house. And the outdoor space is incredible.”
After showing us the master bath, which was large and functional but outdated by her standards, she led us to the living area, explaining her ideas for gutting it, the dining room, and the kitchen to open it all up and update it.
“The sunroom was another selling point,” she said as we spun around to admire the windowed breakfast area off the kitchen.
As we toured the upstairs, which had two bedroom suites, an unfinished storage room, and a loft, Presley told us the latest on her insufferable boss in between pointing out features she either wanted redone or that she loved.
“This has so much potential,” Chloe said. “I just have one question.”
“Oh, this should be good,” Presley quipped as she led us back down to the main floor.
“What in the world are you going to do with all this space? Three thousand square feet for one person? You could fit three of my house in here.”
“I told you I might rent it out,” Presley said, unconcerned. “Or live here. Who knows. It’s good to have options.”
I would do just about anything for a few options right now. I kept the thought to myself, as I hadn’t told the girls what had happened between Chance and me. I didn’t want to think about it.
Once we stood out on the spacious deck, gazing at the lake, with me in the middle of the other two, however, Chloe leaned into me with her shoulder. “I’ve waited as long as I could to bring it up. You and Chance seemed close last night at the Fly. Yeah?”
“Ooh, I called it,” Presley said from my other side. “Living with the father of your baby, when he looks like that and you’re still attracted?” She laughed. “A girl wouldn’t stand a chance.”
I inhaled deeply, the ache in my chest intensifying when I let the air back out.
“That didn’t sound like a girl-in-love sigh though,” Presley said, eyeing me from the side.
Chloe turned and leaned her backside against the railing, scrutinizing me. I met her gaze, and she could apparently read beneath the surface because she said, “Oh, no. What happened?”
I pressed my lips together, as if I could hold in the feelings I’d been trying to stave off all day. It didn’t work.
Tears rolled down my cheeks before I could get a word out. Presley put an arm around me and pulled me into her side. Chloe held on to my hand.
I opened my mouth to start the story I needed to get out. “We—” My voice cracked. “I…”
Presley reached up to wipe her own eyes even though I hadn’t gotten a single sentence out yet.
“I need to find a place to live,” I finally said on a wail.
Before I knew what was happening, my two friends pulled me into a group hug, which unleashed the sobs I’d been avoiding since walking away from Chance. I’d cried so much in the past six months. I was so, so tired of feeling like I’d been filleted, exposed, bleeding out in the form of saltwater.
“Let it out, babe,” Presley cooed.
As if I had any choice. My heartbreak gushed out of me in an ugly cry.
These girls, these beautiful friends of mine, just held me, encouraged me to purge the sadness, let me know I wasn’t alone.
Eventually the sobs slowed, and I was able to get out, “S-s-s-sorry,” between hiccups. “I’m a mess.”
“Between life, stupid boys, and pregnancy hormones, you are entitled to be as big of a mess as you need to be,” Chloe said.
“H-how do you kn-now the boy was stupid?” I stuttered out.
“Because he’s a boy,” Presley answered without hesitation.
Laughter bubbled out even as I cried, which made all of us laugh harder, still holding on to each other.
When I could finally speak coherently, I straightened, wove one arm with Presley’s and one with Chloe’s, and stepped to the railing, taking them with me, keeping them on each side of me.
I let the story pour out, from the magic of last night’s concert to the slow dance in the kitchen to what I thought was a magical connection in Chance’s bed.
My admission of love, which turned out to be the nail in the coffin of our blink-and-you’ll-miss it relationship.
Chance’s refusal to see where it might’ve gone.
“Blazes of hell, girlfriend.” Presley again put her arm around me and rested her head on my upper arm. “That’s the last twenty-four hours?”
“More like twelve,” I said.
“And he thinks, what, you’re just gonna change diapers and feed the baby together like nothing ever happened?” Presley continued.
“I don’t know.” I couldn’t begin to think about what that would be like. “I know it was fast, but I love that stupid man,” I said, sniffling.
“You went quiet, Chlo,” Presley said. “You could fire him, couldn’t you?”
Presley and I laughed, but I noticed Chloe didn’t.
“I’m so surprised by him,” Chloe said pensively, gripping the railing. “I know Chance. Like, I know him well. There’s gotta be some serious fear going on there, because it’s just not like him to be cold and unyielding.”
I knew what she meant, and of course I agreed he was scared. It didn’t make me feel any better.
“Screw that,” Presley said emphatically. “We all have fears, but sometimes you’ve gotta step up and find a way around it. If he thinks this is going to be better for a kid, he’s dumber than dumb.”
“Ah, my eloquent friend,” Chloe said. “But I agree.”
“So you’re going to move out?” Presley asked.
“As soon as I can find a place.” I’d even considered moving back into the Honeysuckle Inn.
“I’d offer to let you stay with us, but all we’ve got is a couch,” Chloe said.
“You’re sweet.” I didn’t mention it would be awkward to live with both my bosses. Chloe was becoming a friend first and foremost, but Holden was the guy in charge of everything.
“You know what?” Presley said, casual as could be. “I have an extra house you could borrow.”
Chloe and I both angled a look at her.
“You do have an extra house,” Chloe said slowly. “It’s…kind of empty but…”
Presley scoffed. “We could move the furniture from the spare bedroom in my condo tonight.”
“We could pick up a second-hand couch and a TV,” Chloe added.
“I don’t need a TV,” I said, “but I can’t move into your house before you do.”
“Of course you can.” Presley became animated.
“I don’t even know if or when I’m moving in.
It’s just sitting here until I can hire a contractor.
You can stay in one of the upstairs bedrooms for as long as you need.
I mean, it might suck that ninety percent of the house is empty, but we can fix that gradually.
The main thing is you could get out right away.
No more awkward nights locking yourself in your bedroom in that stupidhead’s house. ”
“Yes,” Chloe said. “He’s my employee and good friend, but he’s being a stupidhead, and you need a refuge.”
I thought about this big, empty house that was more than I’d probably ever have for myself.
It would be a little odd to stay here, but…
I shuddered as I imagined waking up in Chance’s house every morning, running into him in the hallway in my pajamas, making life uncomfortable for poor Sam. Presley’s offer was hard to resist.
“Let’s do it,” Presley said. “If we leave now and drive straight to my condo, we can load up enough for tonight and get the rest tomorrow.”
“You think we can fit the bed into my SUV?” Chloe asked.
“Good thing you got the biggest model,” Presley teased.
“Kind of like you got the biggest model of house,” Chloe shot back.
I stood between them, half listening to their banter while I considered my options. Because suddenly I did have an option.
My heart felt heavy with sadness at the thought of moving out and distancing myself from Chance.
I’d apparently been harboring more hope for a happily-ever-after between us than I’d ever realized.
This was me throwing my hands up and admitting that was a pipe dream.
As hard as that was, though, I needed to do it.
The only way to move forward, start healing from this latest loss, and prepare for being a mom was to make a clean break.
I’d still have to work with him, but it was easier to keep boundaries at work than in the place I called home.
“You went quiet, Rowan,” Presley said. She wove our arms together again. “Are you on board, hon?”
I turned my mind to practical matters for now. “I’ll pay you rent and move out as soon as I can find a place for my baby and me.”
“No rent, and we’ll help you search, but there’s no rush other than your due date,” Presley said. “And that’s only because I know you want to settle in your own place. I’d never kick you out.”
“I’m not living here for free.”
“I paid cash,” Presley reminded us matter-of-factly. “I don’t have a mortgage. I’m not charging you rent.”
“What if she paid for utilities?” Chloe said.
“Absolutely,” I said.
“Perfect,” Presley agreed.
So it was settled.
Presley and Chloe would make the Nashville run for furniture while I packed all my belongings at Chance’s and tried to figure out what to say to Sam.
The Chance romance chapter had turned out to be a very short, heartbreaking one, but now it was time for the next one. I’d be okay eventually. I’d already made it through a lot.
I reminded myself I’d learned strength from my beloved Gram. Strength and love. My baby would feel that love every day of their life and never doubt they were adored and cherished.
Sadly for him—and me—Chance would miss out on my love, but he’d made his choice.