Chapter 21
At the judge’s late-afternoon statement awarding Clay full custody of Payton, Clay’s shoulders relaxed and he closed his eyes, letting the ruling sink in.
The judge had been tough, as he’d been warned, but the news concerning the busted drug dealer and Robin’s ties to him had been pivotal in swaying him, making him doubt her dedication to staying clean.
Robert shook his hand, and the next thing Clay knew, he was surrounded.
His mother threw her arms around him wordlessly, tears running down her face.
His dad hugged him awkwardly, the first time they’d hugged since Clay had reached puberty.
His old man clapped him on the back and told him how happy he was for him.
Clay released him and turned to find Andie, who hung back a couple of feet, as if she thought she didn’t belong. As soon as their eyes met, though, she lunged into his arms and held on tight.
“I’m so, so happy for you and Payton,” she said directly into his ear so he could hear her over the surrounding noise.
He kissed the side of her neck and thanked her.
As expected, Lipp had painted her as a detrimental influence on Payton, but Robert had done the opposite by showing Andie as a woman who would drop everything and be there for her friends and, the clincher, the woman who’d saved his little girl’s life.
“We’re picking her up and going out to celebrate. The whole family. You in?”
“If you want me there,” she said uncertainly.
“Damn straight. And then afterward, maybe you and I can have some time alone.”
Andie smiled. “Are you sure we can’t just skip the whole family deal?”
“You tempt me, woman.” He kissed her and put space between them. “Later. Right now I need to get my daughter and tell her the news.”
Clay never thought life could be this good.
He looked around the Italian restaurant’s large circular table at his family.
Bridget and Reid to his left. His mother. Dad. Laurel, Charles, and their three boys. Andie at his right. Payton smack in the center of his lap. Even his other two sisters had called to wish him and Payton well.
Everyone listened to Bridget telling a story about middle-of-the-night cravings for Pop-Tarts and Reid going to the store to get some. Inane topics. Happy topics. Exactly what this evening called for.
The waitress came around and collected empty plates, filled coffee mugs, offered dessert.
“Heck yeah, we need dessert,” Clay said. “What’s everyone want?”
Everybody placed an order except for Andie, and he studied her, the woman he loved, her eyes on his sister as she returned to her story. She was withdrawn, quiet, probably a little overwhelmed by his family.
She didn’t quite look right to him without all the earrings, but she was beautiful, even in her play-nice-for-the-judge persona.
He couldn’t wait to get her alone and tell her how much he loved her.
How much he wanted them to be a family. He felt confident he could convince her to level with him.
That was the only thing standing in their way.
The promise of spending time with Clay was all that kept Andie going that evening.
After dinner, they’d driven to the hospital to visit Selena and Evan and their brand-new baby, Christian.
Despite Selena’s vow this morning that it would be eons before he was born, he’d shown up just an hour after they’d checked in to the delivery room.
Payton had been in quiet awe of the tiny baby, and even Andie had to admit that holding someone so new and helpless had been nothing short of incredible.
Clay and Payton waited in the truck while Andie went inside the Shell Shack to check in before heading home for the night.
Kevin, Sean, and Charlotte were closing and they usually handled everything well, but Andie had to make sure they didn’t need anything or have any problems, just to put her mind at ease.
She used the side door by the patio, surveying the crowd at the outdoor tables as she passed by.
That’s when she spotted him, sitting along the wall by the beach, alone at a table.
Trevor.
He was looking the other direction, so Andie hurried inside, heart pounding, hoping he hadn’t seen her.
Kevin was working the register nearest the door and nodded when he saw her, too occupied with a line of customers to speak.
Her vision swimming, she rushed to the back room.
Sean was prepping food and greeted her cheerfully, but all Andie could do was search for a place to sit down and convince her legs not to collapse.
She settled for an old milk crate on end against the padlocked door.
“Aren’t you all fancy,” Sean said as he worked.
Andie put her head down on her hands and concentrated on getting air into her lungs. She’d never passed out in her life but figured this must be what it felt like just before you did. She didn’t care for the sensation.
“What’s wrong with you?” Sean said.
She shook her head, still grasping it in her hands. “Overheated.”
The room gradually stopped spinning and breathing became a little easier. The next thing she knew, Sean was holding an icy lemonade in front of her.
“Thanks.” Andie took the drink from him and sipped it.
“You okay?” he asked, going back to the grill to flip the burgers.
“Yeah.” Thank God this was Sean, the densest of the dense males who worked at the Shack. Kevin would’ve called an ambulance. “I’m fine now. Just get the food out.”
Sean shrugged and carried on, and Andie was able to lean against the door. She willed her heart to slow down. Practiced the deep breathing exercises a red-haired new-agey woman had taught her at a hostel a couple years back.
Finally, she stood and eased herself to the doorway between the kitchen and the main bar.
“Everything okay tonight?” she asked Kevin when he moved to the drink prep area.
“Insanely busy but yeah.”
“Need anything?” She couldn’t help glancing out where she’d seen Trevor.
“We’re low on a bunch of things, but we’ll make it to closing.”
She nodded, relieved. “Call me if you need me. Otherwise, see you tomorrow.”
“See you.”
Andie made her way slowly to the door, checking for Trevor from the safety of the building before venturing out onto the patio again.
The table he’d been sitting at was now empty. She searched the area for him but didn’t see him anywhere. Thank God. But then…it was almost worse knowing he was out there somewhere but not knowing where.
She scanned the parking lot and the shadows, not wanting to lead Trevor to Clay or Payton or the house they all lived in. When she’d convinced herself there was no one hiding in the dark corners, she hurried for the truck, attempting to look like nothing had just scared the shit out of her.
Andie was still rattled at ten forty-five that night. As they’d planned, Clay had waited until Payton fell asleep, and then he’d called Andie to come upstairs. They’d figured Payton would drift off faster if Andie wasn’t around.
She dug out a hoodie to throw over her tank and jeans, remembering how cold Clay kept his place. Earlier, she’d washed off her makeup and let her hair down. She glanced in the mirror, not really worried about how she looked. This was her, and Clay knew that.
When he opened his door, she sank into his arms, pushing her ex from her mind and trying only to savor the man who held her. She must’ve held on too long, though, because he asked, “Everything okay?”
“Fine.” She pulled away and sat on the couch.
He studied her and she sat up straighter, doing her best to smile.
“I thought we could go out on the balcony. Enjoy the night. It’s perfect now.”
“Sure.”
Clay opened the door for her. He left it open so he could hear if Payton woke up.
Andie stood at the railing looking down into the dark backyard and into all the yards around them. It hit her how visible they were here.
“Could we turn the light off?” she asked, gesturing toward the single bulb by the door.
He switched it off, making it a lot darker, though the lamp in the living room still illuminated them more than Andie wanted.
She wanted to believe she was being paranoid, but Trevor had tracked her down from Illinois to the southern tip of Texas.
He must have figured out she worked at the Shell Shack, because she’d seen him there twice.
It wasn’t a stretch that he might’ve figured out where she was staying.
Clay came up behind her and slid his arms around her, tucking his chin on her shoulder.
She closed her eyes and fought to forget their potential for an audience.
She breathed in the smell of him, relishing his strong arms around her.
They stayed that way for several minutes, and Andie was almost able to convince herself everything was as it should be.
Clay nipped and kissed her ear and neck, then turned her around to kiss her lips. That was all it took to get Andie’s full attention. All her thoughts slid away.
“You know,” he said huskily, “this is a lot of fun but we should probably talk first.”
His tone was too serious. Talking in situations like this was never a good idea. She tried to distract him by kissing him again, which worked for about thirty seconds.
“Andie.”
“Clay.”
“Today’s been unbelievable. I got custody of Payton; my dad came around. How often does all that happen?”
She smiled, genuinely thrilled for him on both counts. “Maybe you should buy a lottery ticket.”
He brushed her hair back from her face and stared into her eyes. “I had a different gamble in mind, and I’m hoping the odds are better.”
“Yeah?” Her nerves stretched taut as she guessed where he was going next.
“Yeah.”
Her heart felt like it might hammer right out of her chest.
“I love you, Andie. I know you’ve been hurt in the past and you have a hard time trusting people…”
“Uh-huh,” she said, swallowing hard around the lump in her throat. He loved her. “Clay—”
“Something’s bothering you, scaring you. You can tell me anything. It won’t change the way I feel about you.”
“I’m leaving in a couple days.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “You could stay. But…you have to let me in completely for this to work. Let yourself get fully involved.”
Andie wanted to. So badly. Wanted to tell him about Trevor, that he was on the island, that he was fixated on her enough to track her down.
But then she’d have to tell him all the other stuff too.
Their history. Her stupidity. Naiveté. Gullibility.
Whatever you wanted to call it. The fact was she couldn’t talk about it.
Couldn’t let anyone else know the parts of her life that still shamed her so completely.
Because sharing that would expose her, make her vulnerable.
Trusting Clay that much, telling him everything…
no. He only thought he loved her enough.
“It’s not going to work, Clay.” She blinked away tears that had suddenly appeared.
“Why don’t you trust me?”
“I don’t trust anyone.” She lowered her gaze to the floor when she said it.
He let go of her and turned away, obviously frustrated.
“I’m sorry, Clay. I…care about you. A lot.” She couldn’t say love. Whether she did or not—and maybe she did—it didn’t matter. Because she couldn’t trust. Wouldn’t let herself.
Abruptly he went inside and began picking up the sizable pile of crayons Payton had left on the floor. One by one, he threw them into the box, his back to Andie.
She sat on the arm of the couch. “I never wanted this to happen. It’s why I tried to scare you off that first night, when you kissed me.”
He didn’t say anything, just kept throwing crayons. When the mess was cleaned up, he set the box on the stairs to Payton’s room. Slowly he turned to stare at her.
“You’re scared,” he said in a quiet, measured voice. “I understand that. But at some point you have to take a chance on somebody, Andie. Otherwise you’re going to be alone.”
“That’s my plan,” she said. “It may suck to be alone, but it beats the hell out of being hurt.”
“I’d never hurt you. I’m not the guy who hit you.”
“I know that, Clay. I don’t mean you would hurt me physically. Maybe you wouldn’t hurt me at all…but I can’t take that chance.”
He studied her for several more seconds. “Then I guess there’s nothing else to say.”
Andie nodded, struggling to keep every hint of emotion off her face. She took in a shaky breath, turned, and walked out the door.
Clay fell into the beanbag chair in front of the TV and turned on a video game. His jaw was clenched so tight it throbbed. He settled back with the most mindless, violent game he owned.
He was in the mood to kill things.
He’d known Andie would be tough to crack. Had known from the beginning, thanks to her frankness, that she had layers of issues to overcome before she could be in a relationship.
He was an idiot, plain and simple. He’d thought it was good enough between them that she’d want to try.
Obviously, he’d been a thousand percent wrong. She’d told him he needed to learn to trust himself. Well, he’d proven he was better off not.
He should be happy, over the fucking moon, because today had been an incredible day. His daughter. His dad.
But he wanted more.
He wanted it all.
Two out of three was damn hard to swallow.