Chapter 8
Knox
By two p.m. on Thursday, Juniper and I had finished at the doctor’s office.
The paternity test itself, times two, was quick, but I’d opted to have Dr. Julian do a well-baby check while we were there to make sure Juniper was healthy.
There’d been a wait due to a four-year-old boy who required stitches in his noggin, and I’d watched his distressed parents with a new level of empathy and held Juniper closer.
I hadn’t met Dr. Julian before today, but his knowledge about paternity tests, his gentleness with the baby, and his compassion for the position I found myself in had easily won me over.
He’d laughed sympathetically when I’d asked, tongue-in-cheek, whether I could get a two-for-one deal on paternity tests, then assured me he could have the lab compare my DNA to both Juniper’s and Simon Henry’s. His nurse would see to the details.
He might be a stereotypical near-retirement-age, small-town doctor, but he knew his stuff and had a heart of gold. I wouldn’t hesitate to go back to him, for myself or Juniper. If I still had her in my care the next time she needed medical attention.
We wouldn’t get results for a few business days—early next week would be the best-case scenario—and I’d decided to keep Juniper in my care until then.
At least until then. If it turned out she was mine, I wasn’t sure I could hand her over to anyone else, Gina included.
If she wasn’t mine… Well, that was an even tougher decision.
I’d parked in the lot behind the doctor’s office. I liked walking, but not with a baby, not until I had a stroller. So far I hadn’t given much thought to getting one, but I could suddenly see the appeal.
“You were a good baby, weren’t you?” I said, catching myself using that silly voice reserved for babies as I fastened the car seat into the base and tossed our brand-new diaper bag to the floor.
I touched my finger to Juniper’s button nose and could admit to the gratification brought on by the smile she flashed at me before I closed her door and jumped into the driver’s seat.
This baby was slowly worming her way into my heart.
I’d survived nearly four hours alone with her now and figured I deserved some extra credit for leaving the house with her without an all-out panic attack.
Quincy had dressed her this morning before her shift at Henry’s, and Juniper had been asleep when it was time to leave for our appointment, but she’d woken up hungry during our wait to be seen.
I’d had a bottle at the ready as Quincy had advised, mixed it up, and fed her like a pro, or at least not like a scared dumb ass, which was exactly what I’d been less than twenty-four hours ago.
I’d remembered to burp her and changed her diaper twice—in public.
My baby-care confidence had grown since last night, but whenever she cried, my anxiety still shot through the roof.
Last night, around three o’clock, she’d had a crying jag for close to forty-five minutes, which had drawn me to Quincy’s room to see if there was anything I could do.
Of course, she’d had the situation under control when I’d tapped on her door.
She’d explained that Juniper’s diaper rash was likely bothering her and kindly told me to go back to bed, that this was what I was paying her for.
I wasn’t proud that I’d done exactly that and taken my leave as quickly as I could. Fact was, I had nothing to offer except arms that weren’t yet tired if Quincy’s were, but she’d insisted she was fine and happy to do whatever she needed to do to calm the baby.
Since I hadn’t had a chance to eat before leaving home, I drove straight to Henry’s now, thankful it would again be during the after-lunch lull. Henry’s was legitimately one of the best places to eat in town, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to other reasons for choosing it.
I parked as close to the door as I could get, got the car seat out with relative ease—noting Juniper had fallen asleep during the three-block drive—grabbed the diaper bag, and went inside. I told the hostess I was there to see Seth, and she showed me back to my half-brother’s office.
The room was an afterthought, maybe a former storage room behind the bar, with a desk and space for two chairs and not much else.
Humble as hell, just like I’d always found him to be, at least until he’d decided I was of questionable character because I hadn’t immediately told any of the Henrys about our ties.
I could understand it wasn’t easy news to hear, but how else did he think I could’ve realistically handled it?
“Hey,” I said from the doorway when he didn’t look up.
He set down his pen and eyed me. “Knox.” He didn’t bother standing. “Come on in.” He noticed the car seat and leaned over the desk to look at Juniper when I set it on the other chair. “Still have your sidekick, huh?”
“Or my daughter. One of the two,” I said quietly.
“That’s gotta be a mind fuck,” he said. If I wasn’t mistaken, there was empathy in his tone.
“That’s an apt description. The possibility, even if it’s vague, that I could be a father… You can’t imagine.”
Seth sat back down, looking shaken. “Actually I can.”
“You have a kid?”
He looked at the ceiling for a second, as if making a decision, then lowered his gaze, still avoiding mine. “I got a woman pregnant years ago, when I was in grad school. She swore it was mine even once I found out she was married the whole time we were together.”
“Shit.”
“It gets worse. The husband found out and took his own life. In the aftermath, she lost the baby.”
“Jesus. That’s terrible.”
“Apt description.”
“I’m sorry, man.”
He nodded once. “I’ve worked through it. And that was different. I never met my baby. Never had the chance to fall in love with it.”
“Remains to be seen if this one is mine. We’ll know more next week sometime. I wanted to thank you for helping me research yesterday. I was in such a panic my brain locked up.”
“Glad I could help.” He leaned his elbows on the desk. “I talked to my dad last night— Hell. Our dad, I guess. He made some good points.”
“About?”
“You. He pointed out you didn’t have any good options once you found out the truth. He said I needed to put myself in your shoes.”
I waited for more as he went silent.
Finally he looked me in the eye. “Sorry I was a suspicious asshole. I don’t really think you’re after anything from us. It’s not like we’re well-off.”
I nodded, letting out my relief in an audible breath. “Thanks. Apology accepted. Frankly you do have something I want.”
He stiffened, and his eyes narrowed.
“Family,” I said before he could jump to too many wrong conclusions. “That’s what I want. What I don’t have. You guys have a damn good one. I only hope I can someday be included.”
“Give us time,” he said. “It’s a lot to swallow. Let us get to know you. Process things.”
I nodded. I’d had months to let it sink in, plus the advantage of knowing about our ties from the first day I’d met them.
“That’s fair.” I glanced over at Juniper, who was still asleep.
“On a different topic, since test results won’t be available until next week, I’ll have her with me for a few days minimum. ”
His brows went up. “Are you going to be able to handle that?”
A nervous laugh spilled out of me. “I’ve made it four hours and counting so far.”
“I’m impressed. Has she been asleep the whole time?”
“No, she has not,” I said, grinning and crossing my arms as if I’d conquered the universe, not merely kept a baby safe for less than a quarter of a day. “Longer than a few hours though… I’m man enough to admit when I need help. How well do you know Quincy?”
“She’s grown up in this town and worked for me for months. It’s not easy to keep secrets around here, so I’d say pretty damn well.”
“You obviously trust her, or you wouldn’t employ her.”
“She’s honest, shows up early for every shift, and pretty much emits sunshine on the daily.” He gave me a knowing look. “And she’s really good with kids.”
“She said she works full-time here.”
He confirmed it with a nod.
“Any chance you could spare her for a while and hold her job for her?” I asked. “I mean, if she’s interested in helping me out?”
“Like a babysitter, you mean?”
“I’m thinking more like a nanny.”
“You haven’t asked her yet?”
“I wanted to make sure it was possible without her giving up her job here. I’ll probably only need her for a few days, but it could end up longer.”
“You need her more than I do. Lucky for you, we’re overstaffed now that it’s off-season. People are fighting for hours.”
“No repercussions when she comes back?”
“None whatsoever. If she chooses to help you.”
That remained to be seen, but I was hopeful. Quincy seemed to adore Juniper.
“Thanks, Seth.” I stood up, put the diaper bag strap over my shoulder, and tucked the blanket over Juniper’s feet—again. She apparently had something against her feet being wrapped up.
“Seems like the brotherly thing to do,” he said.
I met his gaze, surprised at his apparent acceptance.
He nodded once and a hint of a smile tugged at his mouth as he rose too. “Are you eating?”
“Planning to.”
“She’s working the middle section today. I’ll seat you at one of her tables.”