Chapter 12
Knox
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Holden asked Sunday as he pulled up along the curb in an older Nashville residential neighborhood. My father’s neighborhood.
I blew out a breath from the backseat, looking over at Juniper, whose car seat was next to me. She was sound asleep, despite the ongoing conversation for the hour-long drive between Holden, Chloe, and me. “I’m not sure about anything,” I admitted.
When we’d turned off the highway, my nervousness had inched upward. Not only was I visiting my dad and his wife for the first time, but it was Simon’s birthday. That apparently meant the entire extended North-Henry clan would be here in force.
“There’ll be beer,” Holden said, then got out of the vehicle and went around to his pregnant wife’s door.
Before he got there, I asked Chloe, “You were an outsider once, right? What should I expect in there?”
Her door opened, and she pivoted until her feet were on the ground, then looked back at me. With a sympathetic smile, she said, “In a word? Chaos.” As Holden helped her out, she flipped the seat forward for me.
I held a curse in, grabbed the bouquet of flowers I’d picked up at Oopsie Daisies, and climbed out of the Mustang’s small backseat. I went to the driver’s-side door and leaned into the back to get the baby and her car seat.
“You going to get a family car soon?” I asked Holden.
My half-brother let out a pained groan.
“We’re compromising,” Chloe said. “I get the new car, but it has to be a Volvo.”
As I pulled the diaper bag out, I said, “That sounds a lot better than a minivan.”
“I agree completely,” Chloe said as she took the diaper bag from me. Holden hefted a box with several full beer growlers from the trunk.
We walked down the block about three houses, past all the parked cars, then up Simon and Faye’s driveway.
They’d explained on our way here that Simon had married Faye earlier this year, and they’d chosen to live in the home where all the North brothers had grown up.
It was apparently the official family hub, even when the Henrys were included, which was most of the time.
Faye liked to feed as many in the family as could show up every Sunday.
The Henrys, I was told, made it about once a month due to the distance and the restaurant and brewery they owned that required plenty of attention.
But birthdays? Chloe had warned me they made a big deal of them, and generally no one missed. For adults, there was a strict no-gifts policy, but there would be multiple cakes, drinks, and loads of food. All in this modest two-story house.
I might be capable of chatting people up and being friendly, but I was an introvert deep down.
A group of nearly thirty people wasn’t my comfort zone.
Add that the people inside were my only remaining family—whether halves, steps, or any other kind of relationship, by blood or by marriage—and my inner self was huddled in a corner, sucking its thumb.
As we went up to the stoop, the inner door opened. Both my father and his wife crowded the doorway.
“Welcome,” Simon said as he opened the screen door. His smile was warm and seemed genuine.
“Hey, Dad. Happy birthday,” Holden said as he went in. “Hi, Faye.” He kissed his stepmom on the cheek. “It’s good to see you.”
Chloe gave Simon a quick hug and happy birthday wishes, then hugged Faye, who directed Holden on where to put the beer.
“Knox,” Simon said as I reached him. “My son.” The test results had indeed confirmed our biological ties two days ago. “Still getting used to that, but we’ll get there, won’t we? Come inside.”
“Happy birthday.” I stepped over the threshold. Instantly the weight of Juniper and her car seat lightened as Simon took them from me.
“Thank you,” he said. Then he turned his attention to the baby, who I’d told him about on the phone and texted photos. “My word.”
A dull, incessant roar of voices came from the other side of the house. Chloe handed Juniper’s diaper bag to Faye, and she and Holden headed off into the crowd.
“Heavens,” Faye said, her tone dripping with sugar and love. “Look at her. She’s absolutely precious.” She set the bag down, pressed both her hands over her mouth, and just stared at my daughter, her eyes tearing up.
“This is Juniper,” I told them, taken aback by the welcoming warmth this woman emitted.
Faye let out a happy gasp.
“We have all boys so far,” my father explained. “Wonderful, brilliant little boys, but my wife has been waiting for a granddaughter.”
That they already accepted Juniper as their granddaughter floored me in the best possible way and had my own eyes dampening.
“Our boys are the best grandsons ever,” Faye agreed, “but this one… She’s absolutely beautiful, Knox.” As if remembering I’d never been to her house, she turned her attention to me and hugged me. “Come in. Welcome. We can’t wait to get to know you and this gorgeous girl.”
There was no way anyone could not instantly like this woman. “Thank you. Same here.”
“Why don’t we duck in here for a few minutes before we join the horde in the family room,” Simon said, indicating a room near the front door.
“Sounds good,” I said, and that was an understatement. It sounded like a lot of people, and I didn’t look forward to making a grand entrance—me, the outcast, with my surprise baby.
“This used to be a formal living room,” Faye said as we went in. “We don’t do formal around here, so when Simon moved in, we turned it into a den.”
“Otherwise known as my man cave,” my father said.
“Every home needs one,” I said, thinking of my office, which was as close as I came to one in my smaller place. I’d just ordered a custom carved bookshelf to make it feel like my space.
Simon’s room contained a masculine leather love seat and an extra-wide chair, as well as a small desk in the corner with a computer on it. He gestured for me to take the chair, and he and Faye sat on the love seat. I set Juniper’s car seat in front of me.
“How was your trip?” I asked them, preferring the spotlight to be on them instead of myself, even though I knew questions—about myself but especially about my daughter—were inevitable.
Faye let out a sigh. “It was fabulous. Perfect weather, lots of good food, and I got to meet some old friends of Simon’s. But we want to hear about you. It sounds like you’ve had quite a bit of drama lately.”
“That’s one word for it.” I leaned forward, my gaze going to my daughter’s apple cheeks, my mind rolling over the past two weeks. “Breaking the news to you and the rest of your family about our connection was no small deal, and then the very next day, this nugget turned up.”
“You said you found her in your car,” Simon said. “I can’t understand what whoever dropped her off was thinking.”
“I thought it was a joke at first,” I admitted.
“It’s like something out of a movie or a novel,” Faye said, shaking her head.
I’d already told them on the phone about that day and about the paternity test results, as the news had spread all over Dragonfly Lake, and I didn’t want my father to hear it from someone besides me.
“Have you heard from the mother?” Simon asked.
I shook my head. “She’s not answering the only number I have for her.
No longer works for the employer she used to.
I’m not sure what else to do to find her.
And then I stop and wonder why I’d want to find her.
Just to get more details about my daughter, I guess.
” And give Gina a piece of my mind. But mostly I’d decided that would be a waste of energy and do no one any good.
I was moving forward legally to protect my daughter.
“That’s something I can relate to,” Simon said as he rested his elbows on his thighs, similar to my position. “I missed a lot of years. A lot of years.” He shook his head sadly.
“You both did,” Faye said.
Simon’s gaze shot back to me. “That’s true. I’ve been twisted up over missing out on your life, but you’re the one who grew up without a father.” He frowned. “I’m trying not to be upset with Janet, but we lost so much…”
“Yeah.” I blew out my breath. “It adds a whole thick layer to the grief, believe me.”
“I’m sorry, Knox. You must be going through so much,” Simon said.
I managed a smile. “I’ve had some time to work through a lot of the stuff about my mom. She had a heart of gold. She gave up a lot for me.” My throat tightened with sadness and the pain of missing her.
A young woman I hadn’t met before stuck her head in the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt, but we can’t find the extra plates, Faye.”
“Of course you can’t because we moved them,” Faye said lightly. She stood and went toward the doorway. “Excuse me. You two keep talking. I need to check in on food prep and show Mackenzie where we moved everything.”
Simon nodded at his wife.
Faye paused before disappearing. “I’ll want to hold that baby when she’s awake.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, smiling. This baby had struck it lucky with her new grandmother. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind.
Simon was looking after her, the expression on his face one of a man clearly in love.
Once she’d left, he sobered, turned his attention back to me, and said, “I want you to know something, Knox. The time I spent with your mother was the blink of an eye in the overall scheme of life, but it was…special.”
“I got that impression from her letter,” I told him.
“It’s been a lot of years. I’ve been lucky enough to love and be loved by two women since then.
Some people would claim that the weekend your mom and I spent together was too brief for love to be involved, but I don’t know.
Maybe they’d be right, but maybe not. What I can tell you is that our connection was unique.
Powerful. But always intended to be temporary.
Maybe that was part of the intensity, the magic.
” He shook his head as if he was still puzzling it out to this day.
“All I know is that meeting her when I did, spending that time together… She was exactly what I needed at that moment. Strangely enough, she helped me straighten my head out about Nita, who became my first wife, and see I was being a jackass about some things.”
He met my gaze with a sheepish expression, and I grinned. “She made me see when I was being a jackass about some things too. A couple hundred times at least,” I said.
Simon chuckled. Then he shifted his attention straight ahead, his focus going internal again, to memories, I guessed.
“Ever since that weekend, I’ve felt like maybe Janet was put in my path for a reason.
To give me perspective. To help me get my act together.
To ultimately help me steer my life in the right direction.
” He let out a quiet, self-effacing laugh.
“I don’t know if that even makes sense, but that’s what I’ve thought.
And then I found out about you last week, and I can’t help but think her life was likely just as irrevocably changed as mine was.
More so. Because she came away from our time together with you. ”
My throat went thick with emotion again, this time not with grief but with…I didn’t quite know what.
“It’s as if that weekend wasn’t random,” my father said, then shook his head. “I probably sound like a crazy old man—”
“You don’t.” My voice came out rough. “My mom did her best not to let me ever feel like a mistake, but once I was old enough to understand more, it was always in the back of my mind. I knew she loved me. She loved me more than anything, so I don’t want you to question that.”
“I’m certain of it.”
I tried to put my thoughts into words, to let him know the gift he’d just given me by telling me more about his connection with my mom. “What you just explained helps me to see it as…more.”
“It was more. I mean that.”
He made it sound like my conception was the result of a brief but powerful connection between two people who were never meant to be together long-term but who were absolutely destined to come together for that brief period.
And that…that rearranged a part of my own story.
In a good way. A very good way. I wasn’t sure I could explain it to him adequately, so I just said, “Thank you. For sharing all that.”
A warm smile spread across his face. “Your mom was special. Never doubt that I recognized that from the second she told me her name.”
“That’s something we can agree on. My mom was special.”
He stood. “We have a lot more to talk about, but I’d rather do that when we don’t have a zoo in the other room. What do you say? Are you ready to get to know your family?”
I glanced down at Juniper, who slumbered on, then picked her up, car seat and all, knowing she was due to wake up any minute. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”