24. Mia
24
MIA
H enry was quiet on the walk back to his place. Laura was there, distraught, but she let me and Henry handle Jason. She gave him a quick frown and said she’d see him tomorrow.
Jason also didn’t talk, perhaps knowing he was in trouble for that stunt. Or maybe he was just too damn happy that I was back here.
He changed and got in bed, and as I promised, I tucked him in.
“Jason, you can’t ever run away like that again.”
“I didn’t run away. I just looked for you.”
I tilted my head to the side and narrowed my eyes. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
He lowered his head. “I’m sorry. I won’t do that again.”
“It’s dangerous. I don’t want to ever think about you being on your own and getting hurt. No matter how upset you are about something, you can’t run off.”
“I won’t do it again.” He tentatively smiled. “Will you stay, Mia? Forever? I wish you could.”
Oh, be still my heart. I wished I could too. “Sometimes, things aren’t that simple. I bet you want a mommy. I can tell you do. Some days, I wish I still had my mom too.”
He nodded.
“I am sure your daddy will find a good woman to be your mommy.” It broke my heart to say this. “But it won’t be me.” Tears clogged in my throat. It was killing me to be honest with him, but he deserved the truth. Henry and I came from two different sides of life, and there wouldn’t be a way to make us work. He’d proven that with his harsh words.
“I love you, Jason, and I always will. Even if I don’t work in the office anymore, I’ll stay in touch with you. Okay?” I didn’t want to commit to seeing Henry anymore, not when it would continue to chip away at my heart, but Jason deserved stability. He’d latched on to me, as I had him. No matter how things fell apart between me and Henry, I had to keep Jason in mind.
“Will you read me a story?” he asked, pointing at a book about a wishing well.
“Sure, kiddo.” I snuggled in to sit and read to him. He fell asleep halfway through the story, and I kissed his forehead before I got up.
I wasn’t sure I could stand this heartache. I wanted to be the one to comfort him, to show him that the world could be full of love and support.
I was vulnerable and upset, genuinely worried about that sweet boy. So when I walked out of the room and ran into Henry, I tried to stay strong. He clearly had been waiting out here, listening in to it all with the door cracked open.
My heart was too raw to care about his opinions. I’d spoken the truth in there, at any rate. I hadn’t lied to Jason, so he couldn’t jump at me for more lies.
“Can we talk?”
With a heavy heart, I nodded. “Okay. But then it’s goodbye, Henry.”
He frowned, walking alongside me as he led me to his room. I wasn’t sure we needed this much privacy, especially after I said this would be it between us. This would be goodbye. Then again, he likely didn’t want Jason to hear what we’d say.
“Did you hear me?” I asked as he closed the door. “This has to be goodbye. I can’t suffer through loving you like this anymore.”
He stopped mid-step, raising his brows. I’d stunned him. “What?”
My timing was crappy, but I supposed it was better late than never to spill my heart. “I love you, Henry. I have since the first time we worked together at the office, arguing about margins and fonts of a document.” I shook my head, wishing it could be funny, but it sounded so pathetic. I’d spent years pining for him, and this was what it got me—heartbreak. “But it’ll never matter to you. It will never be enough for you.”
“You love me.” He stated it instead of asking it.
I nodded. “Sorry.”
“ Sorry ? For loving me?”
I hung my head for a moment. “For being the wrong person to love you.” I cleared my throat, determined to at least clear the air once and for all. “I’m sorry I didn’t come clean and tell you that I was the dancer you saw at Danger. The dancer you contacted Gina about over and over to hire for your new club. I never wanted anyone at the office to know that I was an exotic dancer. I was ashamed, afraid that people would…” I swallowed hard, struggling to get the words out as he stood there and watched me. “Would judge me. I only got into dancing because I needed the money. My pay at the office wasn’t enough to live on, not with my debts. I was desperate to survive, so I started dancing for extra money.”
“You were the star on the stage,” he said softly as I drew in a deep breath after talking for so long, even if I didn’t ramble without pause.
I nodded and shrugged. “I struggled with staying in my secretary position. I could make more just working at Danger. Or elsewhere. I know I’m a skilled dancer, but I never wanted to leave the office. It was the family I never had. I never wanted to give you up, because seeing you was the highlight of my life.”
“Fuck. Mia…” he whispered, stepping closer to hug me.
I retreated, warding him off. “No.” If he touched me, I’d cave. I’d want to lean on him for support and never let him go. “Let me get it all out.”
He frowned, watching me closely.
“I wanted to save up to pay off my student loan debts for my bachelor’s degree. I wanted to save up to expunge my record and have a career, but I know I won’t be able to go into law with my record now, anyway. My ex, Dennis, also ran up high credit card bills. But most of all, I wanted to save up to expunge my record. Dennis met me right after my mom passed away. I’d just turned eighteen and I had no one. My dad’s in prison. My mom was gone. It was just me, and Dennis exploited my loneliness. I worked ahead to try to finish my bachelor’s degree early, to go into law school. He conned me into helping him with a ‘favor’ he and his friends had arranged. Long story short, he was breaking in to burglarize an apartment. He had a weapon. I did not. I had no clue what was happening, thinking I was picking him up from a party or something. I wasn’t. He framed me when he almost got caught, and I was charged for a crime I didn’t commit or know about. I served a couple of months and had to do a lot of community service. That’s what Ann unearthed about me. I met Eddie at a rehab sort of event designed to give former criminals a second chance at life. I asked him not to tell anyone about my past because I didn’t want one mistake to define me. I didn’t want my debt or past to define me. I wanted my hard work to define me. It’s obvious that my past does define me, though, where you’re concerned.”
He stepped closer and took my hand to hold between his. “Mia. No. It doesn’t. I’m sorry for lashing out how I did. I wish I could take back every single word I said. I wasn’t judging you. I thought I was defending you from Ann slandering you. I thought she was making it all up to attack you. I was surprised and so confused. You’re a good woman, a good person, and I was stupefied that you could’ve ever done something to be in trouble for.”
“I didn’t. I just made the mistake of loving the wrong man.”
He tugged me closer, tipping my chin up so I’d face him. “I wish things could be different between us, Mia. You’ve never been ‘just an employee’ to me. I’ve struggled with remembering that we were supposed to only be friends. It broke my heart to see you so upset, and I hated myself for ever making you want to leave.”
I lowered my gaze, touched by his words but afraid to believe that he meant them. Once more, he gripped my chin and gently urged me to face him.
“And I will spend every day of the rest of my life proving to you that you’re so much more than your past. You’re my future, Mia. I want you to be my wife. The mother of my children. My partner to grow old with. If you’ll have me, if you have enough room in your heart to forgive me, that’s how I want to define you. As mine . Because I’m lost without you.”
I blinked, warring with the smile that almost broke free. I clung to a remnant of doubt, though, nervous to believe him.
But then he lowered to a knee and pulled a vintage ring box out of his pocket. He opened it and held it up to me, showing me—without a shred of hesitation—that he was serious.
“Mia, please put me out of my misery and marry me?”
Joy filled my heart, spilling over and infusing me with excitement. I lost the fight with a wide grin, laughing as I let it cover my face. “Well, to put you out of your misery…” I held my hand out, fingers splayed.
It was happening. This was it. All my dreams. Those high hopes and out-of-reach fantasies. They were all coming true with his proposal. My heart raced, and I feared I’d pass out from sheer elation.
“Will you marry me?” he asked again, almost as though he feared he was imagining my acceptance.
I nodded. “I’ll marry you, Henry.”
He smiled, sliding the ring on my finger as he stood to kiss me. Enveloped in his arms, I surrendered to his demand to kiss him back.
It was perfect, an episode of kismet as I clung to him and held him close.
“I love you, Mia.” He rested his brow against mine. “I love loving you, and I will never stop.”
I laughed, charmed by how eager he was to say it.
“I’ll scream it from the rooftop.” He guided me back to the bed, kissing me again and again, as if he couldn’t get enough of my lips. “I’ll shout it from the mountains.”
I nodded, yanking his shirt to tug it off. Lust flooded in, lighting me up with an impatient need to celebrate this milestone.
I had a fiancé. We were engaged. And I wanted to mark it in style, with him deep inside me.
“I want to see you pregnant with my babies.” He caught on to this feverous need to get naked, pushing at my clothes between hot, desperate kisses.
“I want to hear you call me your husband.”
“Nagging it?” I asked as I helped him lower my shorts then step out of them.
“Nag. Argue. Beg. Whatever. I will listen to everything you tell me to do,” he growled. His fingers made quick work of my bra as I shoved at his pants and boxers.
“Everything?” I asked as he stepped out of his clothes, his hard, hot body bare and mine to enjoy.
“Everything,” he promised.
“Starting now?” I asked, shivering under the firm caress of his hands roving over me. He slipped his finger along my slit, reaching for my entrance, but I twisted to push him down. Once he was seated on the bed, I climbed onto his lap, straddling him.
“Tell me what you want, fiancée,” he said, his mouth a breath away from mine.
“You.” I gripped his erection, turned on that much more with how aroused he already was. As I stroked him, rising up on my knees, I kissed him softly, sweetly. “I just want you, Henry. For the rest of my life.”
He smiled, gazing up at me with a soulful expression of pure happiness. “Consider it done.”
I lined him up to me. The push of his wide cockhead stretched me, but the slight burn felt too damn good to slow down or stop.
“I want you to make love to me,” I told him between wet kisses.
He moaned, gripping my head as I sank down a little further on his rigid dick. “You won’t be able to stop me.”
I lifted up a bit to ease back down more. I was taking him slow, planning on dragging out the agony of needing him. This night was too important to rush through a single thing.
“I want you to be my family,” I said, voicing my deepest desire.
His grin turned wicked. “A family?” He lowered his hands to my ass and flexed his fingers on my muscles. It turned me on, that bite of pain from his touch, and I sank down on him until he was all the way in, every hard, thick inch of him. He was deep inside me, to the hilt, and it had never felt better.
“How many kids will you want?” he asked, straining to talk with me sucking him into my pussy.
“As many as you’ll give me. Jason needs brothers and sisters.” I lifted up and sank down, starting a slow, grinding ride on him that pushed me close to coming too damn soon.
“Consider it done,” he repeated, breathing harder as he matched my motions. Seated, he put his hands behind him and pushed up into me. Each time I lowered and smacked my ass over his thighs, he thrust up to drive that big shaft as deep as he could.
Over and over, we raced to come. Words failed me. Thoughts ceased to form. All I could do was feel. I felt him, in me, then hugging me once I shattered.
He covered his mouth over mine, kissing me hard as I came. I hurtled toward my orgasm so quickly that it stunned me. I trembled, moaning into his mouth, but before I could come down from the high of it all, he picked me up and turned us until I lay on my back. A few more hard pounds into me pushed him over the edge. He groaned, too, and I tugged his head to bring him down to muffle how loud he was.
“This is gonna be a habit,” I teased him as I milked him dry. His thrusts slowed as he collapsed over me, clutching me tight in a slick hug.
“What is?” he asked breathlessly.
“Trying to make sure neither of us is too loud.”
He grinned, kissing me softly as we caught our breath. “Or we can renovate for more sound-proof walls.”
I laughed, charmed and amused by my boss. My fiancé.
My love.