Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Anna
As I walked toward the door at Kemp’s Wednesday after work, I was a mess of anticipation and nerves.
Two full days without seeing him, without hugging him, without feeling him next to me as I slept was an eternity. What I wanted more than anything was to walk inside, fall into his arms, and have all our problems be solved so we could just…be. Together.
But we had a lot to talk about.
I’d texted him earlier to let him know I was coming back tonight since he was on call.
He’d replied only with: See you then.
Those three words didn’t give me any indication of whether he was pissed that I’d left, looking forward to seeing me again, or only letting me in because he needed childcare.
I was about to see if the door was unlocked when the knob turned beneath my fingers and the door opened. Kemp gave me a half smile and said, “Welcome home, Anna.”
Mac and Baxter were on either side of him, tails wagging.
I exhaled in relief as I stepped inside. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure you’d want me to come back. I wondered if I’d find the locks changed.” I bent down and greeted each dog with a ruffle of their fur, then stood again, unsure if Kemp was open to me hugging him.
“We’ve got a lot to talk about.” He closed the door behind me, giving me my answer. “Oliver’s in the living room. Okay if we sit in there?”
“Sure.” I walked ahead of him, eager to lay eyes on my favorite baby boy. “Hey, Oliver.”
He was sitting up, surrounded by toys, a plush horse in his mouth as usual. He looked up at me with joyful eyes and said, “Ah-ahh!”
I couldn’t resist picking him up and hugging him tightly, wet horse and all.
When I loosened the hug and shifted him to one side, he peered back at me with his face lit up.
He dropped his horse and patted my cheek, melting my heart.
Baxter hurried to the dropped horse to make sure it wasn’t something edible.
“I missed you, Ollie-O. I could swear you grew bigger in two days.”
“The way he’s been eating, that’s likely,” Kemp said. He smiled, but it was reserved, hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure what to expect either.
Mac came barreling into me, tail going a hundred miles an hour. I stepped sideways to keep my balance, laughing. “I missed you too, Mac. And yes, you too, Baxter.”
They were both at my feet now, making themselves available should I decide to give out pets.
“Come on, hounds,” Kemp said. “She already loved on you. Time to go outside.”
Fickle as could be, Mac darted to the back door, followed closely by Baxter. Kemp stepped out with them, threw a couple of tennis balls while I loved on Oliver, then came back inside.
I sat on the couch with his son in my arms. My necklace caught Oliver’s attention, the opal pendant shimmering iridescently. I leaned over and grabbed a horse and handed it to him, successfully distracting him from yanking my jewelry.
Kemp sat on the chair instead of the couch, which ratcheted up my nervousness. He didn’t seem mad, but he was definitely on the distant side. I had work to do to mend the rift I’d caused.
“Kemp, I’m sorry I left the other night,” I said. “Seeing you like you were… It just got to me. I guess I needed time to sort through everything in my head.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’ve been pretty miserable to be around.”
“That shouldn’t matter. I’m in this, Kemp, through good moods and bad ones. I was frustrated. It’s not easy to watch someone you love put himself through so much at once.”
He leaned forward, bracing his arms on his knees, running his hands over his face. “I know. I get it, Anna. Really.”
He seemed to mean it, but he acted like something was still in the way.
“I did a bunch of thinking,” I said. “I’ve told you all along that I support you, but then my leaving made it seem like I don’t. I want you to be happy, Kemp. That’s what I care about. So I thought of some changes I could make to help both of us.”
He frowned, then looked at me, his brows raised in question. My confidence wavered, and it wasn’t that strong to begin with.
I barreled on anyway. “I thought if we got some help with the household tasks, then we’d both feel less stress. And since I’m not paying rent, I can cover them.”
“Like what?”
Oliver squirmed to get down, so I set him in the middle of his toys and retook my spot.
“I researched those meal prep services where you can pick how many meals you want, then they deliver them ready to cook,” I told him.
“I also set up a grocery delivery account with the Country Market. And I got rates for having someone come in weekly to clean. This way, when you do have some spare time, we can spend it together instead of cooking or cleaning. Oh, and I’d like to hire Kinsley or one of the other girls to babysit whenever I have plans, just in case. If it’s okay with you.”
Kemp was staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face.
My shoulders sank. “Of course, it’s your house and your son, so if you don’t feel comfortable—”
“It’s not that,” he said. He stood abruptly, startling me further.
He stepped over to the couch and sat down next to me, causing my heart to race in alarm. Had he changed his mind about us? Had my leaving been too much for him to get past? I had left him in what you could say was a time of need…
“Anna.” He turned to face me on the couch and laced our fingers together. “Oh, hell. Where do I start?”
I swallowed and waited without breathing.
“I made a decision,” he said. “Early this morning.”
“Ba-ba-ba!” Oliver said to his horse.
Kemp cracked a half grin at the baby. “That’s right. You were right there with me, weren’t you, tiger?”
My vision swam as I stared at Kemp, wondering how he could be almost jolly if he was about to break my heart. I couldn’t find my voice to ask what the decision was.
Kemp returned his attention to me and looked me straight in the eyes. “I removed my name from consideration for the lieutenant position.”
“What?” I’d heard him just fine, but the words weren’t making sense.
“I also decided to stop volunteering.”
I narrowed my eyes, even more confused. “What do you mean?”
“I mean no more firefighting. Which means I was also able to unenroll from my online class today. Hooo, did that feel good.”
I shook my head. “You can’t do that just to make me happy, Kemp.”
“I didn’t.” He wove our other hands together and moved even closer. “I finally heard you, Anna. All the things you’ve been saying all along. Well, you and Ryder—”
“What does Ryder have to do with anything?”
He chuckled. I was spinning like a wobbly top and losing my mind, and he chuckled.
He sucked in a breath, then blew it out. “Your brother stopped by last night and read me the riot act.”
Last night was when I went riding with Ryder. “What time?”
Kemp shrugged. “Maybe eight? I don’t know.”
“What did he say? Did he threaten you?”
Another chuckle. “You know I wouldn’t be influenced by a threat from him.” He sobered. “He finally got through to me about my dad and made me rethink everything. My dad loved that I was a firefighter. We bonded over that.”
“I know you did.”
“I was stuck on that memory,” he explained.
“I couldn’t get past it. The times we fought fires together.
The look in his eyes when he pinned my badge on me.
That was the center of our relationship once I started volunteering.
For the ten years until he died, that’s what we talked about. Department talk. I got him. He got me.”
I nodded, remembering times when his mom and Natalie and I would escape to our side of the room or the kitchen, rolling our eyes and joking about the nonstop firefighter talk. It didn’t bother us so much as we just had no interest in the inner workings of the department.
“I had it stuck in my head that if my dad were still here and I quit, he’d no longer be proud of me.”
“That’s not true,” I said.
“I know. I figured that out. I’m slow, but I got there with Ryder’s help.
He asked me what I’d do if Oliver someday wanted to go into something other than firefighting.
Easy answer. I’d be fine. I just want him to be happy.
And judging by his obsession with those horses and his rejection of the fire truck, his current choice is not firefighting.
” He laughed as we both looked at Oliver, who’d picked up the plush stable and was stuffing the wet-nosed horses inside it.
“Ryder must’ve come here as soon as I left the ranch.”
“You went to the ranch last night?” he asked.
“I needed fresh air.” I frowned. “He helped me come up with ways to relieve you and me of some of our responsibilities.”
“Who knew grumpy Ryder Delfico had it in him to be a couples counselor.”
“Who knew?” I said distractedly. My brain had gone back to his major decision. “Kemp, are you sure about quitting? That’s such a huge thing. I meant it when I said I would support you. I just had a momentary lapse. I’m in this, fire department or not.”
“I’m one thousand percent sure.” He looked down at our entwined hands, seeming to choose his next words. “I went to the cemetery at dawn today. Took Oliver with me out of necessity, but when I got to my parents’ grave…” He hesitated. Shrugged.
“What, Kemp? You know you can tell me anything.”
Looking shy, he said, “It might sound silly, but I introduced my son to them.”
My chest went warm and liquid. “Not silly at all. Your parents would adore that baby boy.”
Nodding, he said, “I know. And I know they already knew him. They’re with us.
But I’d never taken him out there with me before.
I haven’t been there since before I found out about him.
And it just hit me square in the head: not only would they love him to the ends of the earth, but they’d be proud of him and proud of me.
I think my dad would be even more proud of me if I can be a good family man like him than he would be about firefighting. ”