24. Vanessa
24
VANESSA
“Thank you for your cooperation, Vanessa,” Officer Danforth, the woman who has been leading my interview for the better part of the last hour, tells me with a nod. “We’ll be in touch if there’s anything else we need to ask you. Is that alright?”
“That’s fine,” I reply, reaching for the cup of now-cold coffee from the vending machine outside. It’s pretty much just brown water with no caffeine kick at all, but it’s something, and God knows I need it after everything that happened.
“I’ll give you a moment,” she tells me, patting me on the shoulder as she leaves the interview room. “Your daughter is waiting with the brothers outside.”
“Thanks,” I mumble, pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingertips and letting out a long breath. I’m still trying to make sense of all this, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to completely comprehend everything that went down from the moment we arrived back at the cabin last night until now.
We’re safe. We’re safe, and I know that’s all that matters, but damn if I’m not turning myself inside out with guilt and grief about everything that has gone down. I know it’s ridiculous, to feel so sad about something that could have gone so much worse, but whatever safety Callie might have once felt, it’s been entirely ripped away from us. She’s never going to have the same trust in me again, not after what I allowed to happen, and I have no idea what it’s going to take to build that back up—if I have the barest hope of doing it at all.
She’s out there in the waiting room with the guys right now. They came along with me to the police station when they found out that they wanted to conduct an interview about everything that happened, though I tried to tell them that they had already done enough. They weren’t having it for an instant—which I should have guessed, I suppose. After all, they took on the damn cartel to get my daughter and me to safety.
I can’t believe the sheer level of risk they were willing to go through to help us. That’s the part that keeps playing in my mind, the moment they realized what had happened to me and decided to help us anyway. I know they have a history in the SEALs, but still—they didn’t even think twice. Jake told me on the way down here that they saw something off in the video camera footage, and they started planning my rescue the instant they knew I’d been taken. All they cared about was making sure Callie and I were safe.
And now that we are—and now that the cops finally seem to be done with me, at least for the time being—I need to get home, though I’m so exhausted I can barely hold my head up. I have a million calls from Lara waiting for me on my phone, and I know I need to get back to her in detail. I’ve fired off a text promising her that the two of us are okay in the hopes that it would hold her over, but it’s only leading to more questions. I just need to get home and rest, preferably for the next two days straight…
Even if the thought of being alone in that cabin once more sends an uncomfortable shiver down my spine. How will I ever feel safe there again, after what happened? What if someone tries to retaliate against us for what’s happened with Lewis? Fuck, it’s all so much, I don’t know where to start sifting through it…
But I guess I’m going to need a find a way to start. Sighing and rising to my feet, I uncrumple my tensed muscles and head for the door, stepping outside to see Callie and the guys sitting over in the waiting room.
And when I spot them, I can’t help but smile, despite myself. Callie is perched on a chair in the middle of the three of them, and she has a book on her lap. Her finger is tracing along the words as she carefully picks them out, and the guys are helping her, prompting her when she gets stuck. I press my lips together, a sudden rush of emotion threatening to get the better of me—to see her like this, so surrounded by love and care and attention after everything that’s happened, it’s a gift.
Killian glances up first, and he grins when he sees me.
Mason gets to his feet and strides toward me, putting his arm around my shoulders and squeezing me close. “How did it go?”
I nod. “Yeah, well, I think,” I reply, my voice a little throaty from all the crying I’ve been doing today. “I guess they’re going to bring me back in to talk about it more when they start pressing the case against Lewis, but for now…I’m free to go.”
“Mom!” Callie’s voice cuts through the low chatter, and I look up just in time to see her bolting toward me, throwing her arms around my waist and squeezing me close. I close my eyes and hug her back, trying to keep the tears from spilling once more.
“Come on, baby, let’s go home,” I tell her, and Mason tightens his grip on me slightly.
“You’re staying with us tonight,” he replies, and the way he speaks, I know it’s not up for debate. I lift my gaze to his, a wash of relief coursing through me.
“Really…?”
“Of course. You’re not going back to that house after what happened, at least not tonight. We already talked about it.”
“Sounds like I don’t have much of a choice,” I remark, managing to lighten my tone.
“You don’t,” Jake cuts in. I know he’s just kidding around, but there’s something about the way he says it that makes it clear he’s not going to leave room to fight on this. “Come on—the car’s outside. We can be back in an hour, get you something to eat…”
The three guys fuss over Callie and me as they lead us to the car outside, and I slip into the back seat, draping an arm around my daughter’s shoulders and leaning my head against the glass window. The rumble of the wheels beneath me goes some way to soothing the rushing thoughts in my mind, though I know it will be a long time before I leave them behind entirely. Going through something like that, it’s not as though you can just brush it off like it never happened.
Especially not at Callie’s age. I know this is going to have a heavy impact on her, and I’d be lying if I said I’m not terrified to find out how that’s going to manifest. I don’t want her to feel like she has to keep it from me for fear of hurting or scaring me, but I don’t know how to communicate to a girl this tiny that she can come to me with anything, and that I’m not going to hold it against her. She’s my daughter, after all, and I’m meant to be the one who looks after her…
I peer down at her to find that she has fallen asleep against my shoulder. I get the feeling she’s going to be sleeping a lot over the next few days, trying to restore the energy from the panic and terror that consumed her when we were taken.
“She’s going to be fine,” Jake tells me when he catches me looking at her. He’s on her other side, in the back seat next to me.
“I don’t know about that,” I murmur, offering him a smile. I know he’s just trying to make me feel better, but I don’t need him to tell me anything that isn’t true.
“She will be,” he repeats, and there’s a little more fervency to his voice now, as though he truly wants me to believe it. “Kids can go through a lot and still come out the other side in one piece. Look at what happened to us when we were kids, and we came through it okay.”
“Yeah, but you had that amazing foster mother to make it happen,” I murmur. “I don’t know if I’m at that level yet…”
“Hey.” He hits me with a look that stops me dead in my tracks. I stare back at him, surprised by the sudden certainty in his tone. “You’re an amazing mom.”
“I don’t know if an amazing mom would have gotten her daughter wrapped up in something like this,” I confess, dropping my chin to my chest. “Or that I would ever have written this story in the first place, knowing it could put her in the line of fire.”
“You did what was right,” he replies. “You made sure that everyone knew about the cartel and what they were up to. And now Lewis is with the cops. That has to count for something.”
I glance down at Callie, and nod. “Yeah,” I murmur softly. “Yeah, I guess it does have to count for something.”
“You’ve made the world a better place for her,” he continues. “For everyone. And she’s going to see that, when she’s old enough.”
“I just hope she doesn’t hate me in the meantime…”
“She won’t. She loves you, Vanessa. You’re everything to her.”
I have to bite back tears when he says that. I know he’s right. At the age she is right now, there’s not much outside of her family, the people closest to her, and I am so beyond grateful that I get to call myself that.
“Thanks,” I murmur, and he reaches across to give my hand a squeeze. The guys have been all over me since they got me out of that cell, and honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Their presence feels like the only thing that can keep me steady in the face of everything that happened, and I don’t want to be apart from them, not even for a second.
We arrive back at the house just as it’s starting to get dark, and I scoop Callie up into my arms and carry her inside. Killian makes up a bed for her upstairs, and I lay her down to get some much-needed rest.
She’s asleep before her head hits the pillow, and for a moment, I just find myself staring down at her. She looks so peaceful when she’s like this, so utterly at ease, though I know she’s going to be anything but in the coming weeks. It’s not going to be easy for her to recover from what’s happened, but I just hope I have everything I need to make it happen. Tears prick my eyes as I reach down and brush her hair out of her face, leaning down to plant a kiss against her before I pull back.
“Love you, sweet girl.”
And with that, I get to my feet and head for the door, flicking off the light and pulling the door shut before I lean against the wall and let out a long breath. It’s over—that’s what I need to keep telling myself. It’s over.
Even if it feels like something else might be just beginning.