30. Vanessa
30
VANESSA
As I wrap my hand around my coffee cup, letting the warm rays of the early-September sunshine warm my face through the living room window, I feel a smile curl up my lips.
This time last year, I was in an office, probably panicking about turning in the cartel article for the first round of edits—wondering if I’d done enough, second-guessing how hard I had worked and how much I’d put into that story, wondering if it was going to be enough, if it could ever be enough.
Of course, if I had known where it was going to lead me, after everything that happened, I probably would have left it on the shelf. The thought of my daughter getting kidnapped would have been too much for me to contend with, even if I knew it would help bring the cartel down in the long run.
But if I could have skipped forward a little and shown myself where I was going to end up? Yeah, there might have been a part of me that wanted to keep pushing forward, no matter how crazy it might seem. Because the day that I have laid out ahead of me right now feels downright perfect—and I’m not going to let anything get in the way of it.
I hear voices upstairs, and glance toward the stairs to see Killian and Mason emerging from their bedrooms.
“You think that’s going to be enough water?” Mason asks, frowning as he looks at the pack on Killian’s back. Killian rolls his eyes skyward at what is clearly not the first of his brother’s questions he’s had to deflect this morning so far.
“We’re going for a hike, not trying to start a new civilization,” he points out. “It’s plenty. You got the food…?”
“I have it,” Jake cuts in, as he emerges with a large backpack and sets it down on the counter.
My eyes widen. “Hey, how much do you have in there?” I protest. “It looks like you’ve packed the whole damn store…”
“There’s four of us,” he reminds me. “And by the time we’ve done this hike, you’ll be hungry, trust me.”
“Or maybe we’ll find some other way to work up an appetite,” Killian murmurs to me, briefly resting his hand on my waist as he brushes by.
I grin as I take another sip of my coffee. To be honest, I kind of like the idea of going out there and getting up to something a little dangerous—I know it’s not their MO, causing trouble in the woods, but now that the end of summer has finally come around, don’t they deserve a chance to blow off some steam?
Mason has been planning this hike all week. It’s one he does at the end of every summer, he told me, to plant a rock on top of the small tower that he created near the peak of one of the hills that looks down over the forest. A way to commemorate the hard work they put in, and the fact that the forest is still standing at all, after everything it’s been through.
And I have seen so much more out here than I ever would have imagined. Not just what’s happened to Callie and me, but the level of work the guys put in to keep this place safe. Getting up early every morning to patrol for fires that were left undoused the night before, and might have spread to the surrounding trees. Heading out in the middle of the night to offer aid to a hiker who got lost and ended up banging on their door in search of help. I had no idea how much went into keeping this place safe—both for people and from people—and their quiet sense of duty has been incredible to witness in the months since I arrived here.
And of course, it has formed the basis for an amazing story for my book. It’s really starting to take shape now—I spend enough time working on it these days that I’m always getting hassled by one or the other of them to read it, but I don’t want them to look at it until it’s done. No, when the time is right, I’ll give them the completed manuscript and let them see the story in its full glory, but until then they’re not getting anywhere near my words. They’re under lock and key until I can do them justice, however long it takes.
But today, I’m taking a day away from work. Callie is at school—where she is thriving—and I’m heading out into the woods. Once we have everything gathered, I slip on my shoes and pull on a light jacket, grabbing a pack and hooking it over my shoulders.
“We ready?” I call to the three of them. They all look up at the sound of my voice. I have to admit, it’s kind of cute when they respond to me all together like that. They might be more than ten years older than me, but they still need someone to wrangle them every now and again, and I am more than willing.
“Ready,” Mason calls back, and the four of us head out of the cabin and hit the trail that leads up through the woods.
I might never be a flower child, but I’m starting to get a real feel for the woods now. I can’t imagine getting lost again, like I did when Jake stumbled across us and had to put us back on the right track. I’ve even joined Mason for a few of his patrols, where he checks in on local wildlife and plants, jotting down notes to send off to national surveys so they know where the nature in this part of the world stands. I could probably name a half dozen of the trees surrounding us off the top of my head right now, though I’m not sure anyone’s asking for a recitation.
“How bad does it get here in the winter?” I wonder aloud, as we turn off a branching path that leads along the edge of a row of bramble bushes. The berries are starting to over-ripen and drop off now, filling the air with the sweet scent of their crushed juices where they’ve been stepped on.
“Not as bad as you’d think,” Mason replies. “It stays warm enough. And besides, not like you’ve got any reason to be leaving the house, beyond picking up groceries and taking Callie to school.”
“So you just expect me to stay locked up inside all winter?” I ask, pouting playfully. “I don’t know, what if I get bored…?”
“Then we’ll just have to do something to keep your mind busy,” Jake shoots back, his voice laced with a suggestive edge.
“Mind?” Killian cuts in. “And here I was thinking about your body…”
We all laugh as we start the ascent to the highest point of the forest. I might have gotten a whole lot better with my cardio since I’ve been living out here, but I still find myself huffing and puffing by the time I reach the clearing where Mason’s stack of rocks stands waiting for us.
“Ugh, wait a second,” I groan, planting my hand on a tree beside me for support. “I just need to catch my breath…”
“Take all the time you need,” Jake replies, hitching the pack from my shoulders and starting to pull out everything we’re going to need for our picnic. Mason heads over to the small, slightly uneven tower of rocks, and adjusts it a couple of times before he adds his new addition to it. I can’t help but smile. I can tell how much it means to him, even if he wouldn’t go ahead and put it into words.
“You should bring Callie up here,” I suggest. “I bet she would love to add her own rock…”
“If she could manage the walk,” he replies.
“I’d carry her, if she got tired,” Jake cuts in at once, and I grin at him. He’s always the first to baby Callie—though he’d never admit it out loud, I get the feeling that there’s a part of him that sees a version of himself in her, a version of himself who he can now offer all the kindnesses he didn’t get when he was a kid. As the oldest out of the three of them, I know he carries the heaviest burden for remembering everything that they went through, and if Callie can help him navigate that, all the better.
But before I can ponder that too deeply, the guys lay out the food and drink, and we set about devouring it. They were right—I’m way hungrier than I was when I left the house, grateful to gorge myself on some fresh bread and cheese and a bottle of beer to take the edge off the last of the summer heat.
And as I recline on the blanket and peer down across the forest, a warmth settles over my chest. This is…this is exactly where I want to be. Of course, it would be even better if I had Callie by my side right now too, but for the time being, I know there’s nowhere in the world I would rather be than here, with them, in this place, the top of my cabin peeking up through the trees in the distance. My home—my sanctuary, the place Callie and I came to find safety, only to find these three waiting for us there too.
Killian shifts a little closer to me, tucking his arm around my shoulders. The two of us were interrupted as we were getting hot and heavy last night, when Callie came looking for something to drink, and I know it’s all that has been on his mind ever since.
“It’s so good to get some time to ourselves,” he murmurs, brushing his lips along my cheek. I close my eyes, sinking in to him, the sunshine just as warming as his attention right now.
“Oh, you think you’re getting her all to yourself?” Mason asks as he moves slightly, resting his head against my legs.
“Yeah, because there are three of us here, Kill,” Jake reminds him, closing the gap on the other side of me. I can already feel the desire starting to rise up inside of me—we don’t get a lot of time together, just the four of us, and I have been craving the chance to explore a little more of that dynamic recently. There have only been a few occasions where I’ve been with all of them at once, and though we’re technically in public and could get caught at any moment, for the time being, I don’t care.
“Mhm,” Killian murmurs, as he moves his lips to find mine, apparently not caring much for what his brothers have to say. “And I want to be greedy. So what are you going to do about it…?”
His tongue slips past my lips as he finishes his sentence, and a warm rush of pleasure blooms from my mouth to consume my whole body. It’s not just his kiss that’s so exciting to me. It’s knowing that they’re watching, that they’re here too. I would have imagined that being with three guys at once would make me feel self-concious, too aware of what I look like and how I carry myself, but instead it just feels like being cocooned inside this fort of lust and want and desire, and I can’t focus on anything but how good they make me feel.
Killian’s hand pushes into my hair as I feel Jake’s moving along the top of my pants—I can tell it’s him, the slightly calloused sensation of his fingertips familiar by now. He unpops the buttons securing my shorts and pushes them down, his hand cupping around my panties for a moment before he pulls them aside and grazes his fingers along the outside of my lips.
“Fuck, your pussy is so perfect,” Mason breathes, and I pull back to find him watching as Jake’s fingers navigate the softness of my folds—until he finds my entrance, and pushes roughly inside of me. I gasp. There’s something so daring and so dangerous about doing something like this somewhere we know we might be caught, especially given that the three of them are meant to be the ones keeping this forest safe. But as Jake’s thumb hooks up to massage my swollen clit just as Killian’s mouth finds mine once more, it’s difficult to give a damn.
Jake slips his other arm around me, leaning down to plant kisses along my hip and the top of my mound as he continues to move his fingers within me. He takes his time, as though he’s getting me ready for how good it’s going to feel for them to fuck me. I know that just one will not sate me today. No, I need all three of them. And as I pull back from Killian to gaze into his eyes, I can tell he senses it too.
“I need you,” I breathe, looking at him—and then past him, to Mason, to Jake. My heart is beating hard behind my ribs, my chest rising and falling faster than I can control it as their attention gets the better of me. I could never have been satisfied with just one of them. No, I’m greedy for all three—and I won’t be able to relax until I’ve had them.
I wriggle out of my panties, kicking off my shorts, and climb on top of Killian, pushing him down onto the blanket laid out over the soft grass. He grins into the kiss as he unzips his pants, and behind me I can feel Jake’s and Mason’s hands moving over my body—stripping me, pulling off my jacket, my shirt, my bra, and dropping them to the ground so that I’m completely naked, right there in the sunlight.
“Fuck,” Killian groans as his hands come to my waist, staring up at me for a moment. “You look like a fucking goddess…”
In that moment, as I plant my hands against his chest and gaze back at him, I feel like one. A goddess of lust, of want—a goddess who can control the desires of these men in any way she sees fit. I wrap my hand around his cock as I shift my hips up, hovering just above him for a moment before I sink down on top of him.
“Oh,” I groan, as I feel his fullness spreading me. Jake’s mouth is on my neck, his hands on my hips, guiding me to move back and forth on top of Killian. The way these men use me, the way they touch me, it’s like they’re worshipping at a damn altar, and I want nothing more than to let them.
With Jake’s guidance, I begin to ride Killian’s cock—beside us, Mason is watching, his cock in his hand, his eyes dark as he takes in the sight of me moving on top of his brother. I love the way he stares at me when he’s turned-on, like he’s imagining all the different ways he’s going to use me when he gets the chance. I can hardly wait to find out.
As I move on top of Killian, Jake’s hand slides to my pussy once more, massaging my clit as Killian fucks me. The sudden swell of pleasure within me makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, my vision swimming for an instant as I try to pull myself together—but I can’t focus on anything, anyone, my pussy already beginning to clench around his cock. After everything we did last night, how close we came to getting where we needed to go, all I want right now is to…
“Oh!”
I cry out, the sound filling the quiet air around us, as the orgasm finally takes hold of me. My hips buck on his cock and Jake has to hold me steady, pinning me in place to keep me right where I belong as I reach my release. Killian plunges into me one last time, and then pulls back, his cock twitching as he reaches his release on the grass beside us.
“Fuck,” he groans, his body shaking with the shock of the pleasure—but they are far from done with me yet. No, before I can so much as gather myself, Jake moves in behind me, flipping me onto all fours and pressing his still-clothed cock against my pussy.
“You look so fucking good like that,” he growls to me, tucking his arm around my belly so he can pull me in close to him. “Even better with my cock inside of you, though…”
The sudden filth in his words draws another moan from between my lips, and my hand slips down almost of its own accord so I can start playing with myself as he begins to fuck me. He unzips his pants and presses his cock against my entrance, thrusting into me in one deep motion, and my entire body shudders as the pleasure begins to rise up and through me once more.
Killian is still sprawled on the blanket in front of me, gazing up at me as he catches his breath. I know he loves seeing me like this, being fucked right in front of him, almost as much as he loves to be the one doing the fucking himself. Jake moves hard and fast, clearly not able to hold back after watching for so long, and Mason pushes his hand underneath me, groping at my breasts as Jake continues to piston in and out of me.
I arch my back, giving him all the access he needs, as Mason pinches my nipple hard—I let out a slight gasp, and he grins at me, clearly enjoying how overstimulated I am right now. My fingers move frantically against my clit, and I realize, to my surprise, that I’m already getting close to the edge again. I normally don’t come twice so close together, but then, it’s not always that I have three guys paying me such undivided attention to make it happen either…
I’m pushing myself back onto Jake as I listen to his pants grow more and more hungry—I know it will not be long until he goes over the edge himself, but I want to feel Mason in me before I let someone finish inside of me.
“I want to feel you come on me,” Jake tells me, as though sensing where my mind is at right now. He drops down, leaning over my body, his lips close to my ear, his voice low and throaty. “I want to feel you go over the edge on my cock.”
And the sudden shock of his words is all it takes for me to reach a second release. My pussy spasms around him, and I let out a deep groan, something that feels as though it has worked its way up from deep down inside of me. Slumping down onto the blanket below, I breathe heavy, my entire body shuddering from the intensity of the sensations for a moment as I try to let myself catch my breath…
But I hardly even have a chance before I feel hands on me again, flipping me over—and just like that, Mason is on top of me, moving into me in missionary position. On either side of me, Jake and Killian are watching him—Jake stroking himself, Killian getting himself hard again as he takes in the sight of me being fucked all over again.
“Oh, fuck, you feel so good,” Mason tells me, his lips finding mine like he’s been starving for this for as long as he can remember. “You fit me so well…”
He begins to move into me—not the hard, fast, frantic fucking that Jake was giving me, but long, slow strokes, as though he wants to enjoy every moment of this. And as he gazes into my eyes, I feel as though I could float away—there is something so utterly and completely decadent about letting all these men touch me like this, about being worshipped at every turn by these gorgeous brothers who want nothing more than to pleasure me in any way I ask.
I can hear Killian and Jake breathing harder as Mason fucks me, pushing my knees back so he can really get deep inside of me. I hook my ankles behind his back, and steal a glance at both of the men who are watching us. When I lock eyes with them, it’s as though I’m at the eye of a storm, pure desire swirling around me, and me at the center of it…
Mason pushes into me again, burying his full length inside of me up to the hilt. And that’s what pushes him past the point of no return. With a deep, guttural growl, he finishes inside of me, filling me with his seed, and the sudden flood of warmth within me feels like it’s sating something I didn’t even know existed.
And I look at the three of them—Mason inside me, Killian sprawled on the blanket as he strokes himself, Jake getting himself off watching me pleasured like this—and to my surprise, another bubble of pleasure spreads and bursts within me. My third orgasm isn’t as physically intense as the first two, but the emotion of it—of feeling so utterly safe and cared-for, of knowing how much these three men care for me and how far they’re willing to go to show it—is almost head-spinning.
Jake and Killian finish at the sight of my orgasm—a common theme for the two of them, if the last few months have been anything to go by. I’m not sure how I got so lucky as to find three guys who seem to be turned on by nothing more than the sight of my pleasure, but hey, I’m not going to go complaining, right…?
I hold Mason there for just a little longer, not quite ready for this to be over—but finally, slowly, he eases himself out of me, allowing me to catch my breath. I close my eyes, sinking back onto the blanket, hardly caring that I’m still naked and we are still very much out in public. How can I care about any of that when I can feel the deep, warm tingling of pure satisfaction sparkling from the nape of my neck to the tip of my toes?
The sun prickles on my skin, and eventually, I feel something resting over my body. I open my eyes to find that Jake has draped the blanket across me, a grin on his face.
“We’re supposed to keep this forest safe,” he remarks, cocking an eyebrow. “And we’re not going to be able to do that if you’re lying around here distracting everyone who goes by…”
I laugh, hugging the blanket around my shoulders, as Jake reaches into one of the packs to pull out another beer—he hands it to me, and I crack it open and take a long sip.
“God, I needed this,” I sigh. “You guys really know how to work a girl out…”
“Best workout regime in the country,” Mason jokes as he straightens out next to me. “We take you on hikes, then fuck you senseless when you get there. Can’t get better motivation than that, now can you?”
“You got me there,” I laugh, and I take another sip of the beer. And as I glance around at them—Mason beside me, Killian and Jake in front of me—something else wells up inside of me. It’s not the same desire that I felt before. No, this is something else. Something that has been nagging at me for a long time, but I haven’t quite been able to put into words. In the afterglow of that amazing encounter, though, I know I can’t bite back the truth any longer. I need to tell them. I need to say it.
“I love you.”
I blurt out the words before I can think twice about how they’re going to sound. I can’t say I ever imagined that I’d be declaring my love for three whole guys, stark naked apart from a blanket, in the middle of a warm September day out on a picnic in the forest. But as I lie between them, I know I don’t want to hide it any longer. I can’t, even if I want to.
“That aimed at anyone in particular?” Killian asks, and I shake my head.
“No,” I confess. “I just…I love you. All three of you. I know it sounds crazy, and I didn’t even think I could love more than one person at a time, but…”
I stare at them. In the warmth of the sunshine around us right now, it almost doesn’t look as though they can be real, but I know they are. My guys—these men who have come into my life and made everything better, who have made everything make sense, even when I don’t know if it should.
“But I do,” I finish up, simply. “I do. I love all of you. And I’m so glad I get to be here with you now.”
Those words just hang there between us for a long moment—I guess it’s not exactly where they imagined this conversation would go, but at the same time, how could they not? Killian is the first to reply, a smile that nearly splits his face in two filling his expression.
“I love you too,” he says, taking my hand and pulling it to his lips to plant a kiss against me. “Never thought I would be a one woman kind of guy, but…”
“Shit, neither of us did either,” Mason laughs, as he presses a kiss to my temple. “But you’re very loveable, Vanessa. I should know—I’m in love with you too.”
I lean into him, silently letting him know how much his words mean to me. And then, as Jake looks up at me, I know what he’s going to say before he so much as parts his lips.
“And I love you too,” he says quietly. “I never thought I would let myself close to someone again, not after what—not after what happened with our family. But you and Callie, you came into our lives, and you just…” He shakes his head. “You made everything make sense.”
A lump rises in my throat. I know it’s silly to get tearful, when this is all actually as beautiful as it could be, but I know how much it means for him to say something like that—how much it means for him to tell me that he really does see Callie and me as family. All four of us, we have lost the people close to us, and that’s changed who we are. But it’s made us, at the same time, more understanding, more careful, more suited to each other in the process. I wouldn’t have wished the pain that we’ve struggled through on anyone else, but I guess, right now, all that matters is that we’re together.
“I love you guys so much,” I blurt out once more, and I quickly wipe away the tears that are threatening to fall.
“You’re crying?” Mason asks, sounding concerned, and I shake my head and wave my hand.
“No, no, I’m not, not really,” I assure him. “I’m just…I’m just really happy right now. That’s all.”
“Me too,” Killian remarks.
“Me three,” Jake adds. And as I gaze around at my three men, a sense of peace settles over me. Because I know it’s not just the forest that they’ll do everything they can to protect—it’s me too, and my daughter.
“I guess we should be getting some clothes on you,” Mason tells me finally, breaking the spell for a moment.
I pout at him playfully. “You’re saying that I shouldn’t be lying around the forest naked in the middle of the day?”
“I’m telling you that it’s my duty to protect this place from fires,” he replies. “And you are all kinds of a smoke show…”
“Oh my God,” I laugh at his terrible pun, shaking my head. “I don’t know if I can still be attracted to you after that, I’m sorry…”
“I guess I’ll have to find a way to make it up to you,” he murmurs, flashing me a grin as he goes to grab for my clothes. All four of us readjust ourselves until we’re decent enough to start the walk back home, though my legs are still a little shaky from the three consecutive orgasms these guys just gave me.
“Let me take the bags,” Jake insists. “You don’t look like you’re in any fit state to be walking right now.”
“Yeah, and who’s fault is that?” I shoot back.
He chuckles. “You got us there. Come on, let’s get back to the cabin, and you and Killian can get ready to pick up Callie from school…”
I let the guys lead me down the trail once more, and I find myself falling a little behind them as I watch them follow the track back to the cabin.
It’s hard to believe that I really get to call them mine—all three of these men, all in love with me. I’m sure there are some single girls in the city who’d be less than impressed if they knew I was taking up a whole trio of men at once, but honestly, I couldn’t care less. Each of them fulfills something in me I need—each of them gifting me something I know I couldn’t live without.
Killian glances over his shoulder, lifting a hand to shield his eyes to see why I’ve managed to fall so far behind.
“Come on!” he calls to me.
Jake and Mason pause, both of them looking back at me as they wait for me to catch up. And as they all stare at me expectantly, a smile half a mile wide cracks over my face, and I lift my hand.
“Coming!”