Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Andi
I hop on my bike and roar off into the darkness, never mind that my apartment is still littered with pizza boxes and beer cans and five people besides. I can’t get the way Sally looked at me when I ran past out of my head: her green eyes unblinking, her mouth turned down at the corners. If there was any doubt in my mind before as to whether she and the rest of the group heard Cat and me arguing, it’s gone now, obliterated by reality.
Cold whips my face as I turn onto the highway. I should slow down, stop, put on my helmet, or better yet, turn around and clean up my shit, apologize to the people I hurt, but I don’t. Instead, I let muscle memory take over and guide me into the night.
I can’t believe myself. For letting my guard down, for confessing to Cat, in my bathroom, of all places. For standing so close to her I could feel her warm breath on my skin. I almost kissed her again. I wanted to so badly my lips buzzed. They’re still buzzing, if I’m honest, in spite of the chill air and the taste of grit and salt in my mouth.
“You’re an idiot, Andi Zhang,” I say out loud. The wind takes my words and throws them back at me. “She’s with someone already—your ex, no less—which means she’s off-limits. What part of that do you not understand?”
Except in the seconds before we sprang apart, I could’ve sworn she wanted to kiss me again too.
A beep draws me out of my own maelstrom of thoughts. In front of me, a boom barrier lifts. As I wheel underground, I take in my surroundings: the concrete pillars, the yellow dividing lines, the twin elevators leading upstairs to the Heartrender office.
Of course this is where my subconscious would lead me in my flight.
It’s Friday, so the streets are rowdier than usual, but all that noise slips away the moment the elevator doors vent shut behind me. Up on the sixth floor, I’m surprised to see a light still on in the back. I drift toward it, and for a brief, inane moment, I wonder if it’s Cat, putting the finishing touches on her scripts or reading over the sample of Dane x Sentinel I sent her earlier today, before everything went south. A blond head bobs into view, though, disabusing me of all my fantasies.
“Carter?”
“Andi!” Carter drops the phone in his hand and it goes skittering across the floor, like a skipped stone. “What are you doing here?”
“My work-life balance could use a little more work and a lot less life right now,” I explain, jogging after his device. When I get close, I hear an unwelcome voice on the other end.
“Excellent idea, kid. We do this, we’re both golden. I get promoted and you get out from under that stuck-up bitch’s thumb. Send me a draft as soon as it’s ready.”
Brett hangs up before I can snatch up the phone. Claiming it, I level my gaze at Carter. “What was Brett talking about? Draft of what?” No need to ask who “stuck-up bitch” was referring to.
“N-nothing.”
I narrow my eyes. “Carter?”
“It’s nothing. We’re doing Jan Eschler a little favor, that’s all.”
My grip tightens around Carter’s phone. The tips of his ears are bright pink, like he knows he’s said too much. “What kind of favor?”
“Just a, uh, summary of Hollow ’s plot beats. Mr. Eschler wants to make sure everything looks good. As, you know, EA’s creative-in-residence.”
That title again. What does it even mean? Stepping forward, I bear down on my assistant. “Why didn’t Brett come to me with Jan’s request?”
“I don’t know, maybe because you’re busy and don’t bother responding to his emails half the time?” Carter says mulishly.
I roll back onto my heels. His attitude is such a departure from what I’m used to that I snap, “Been spending a lot of time with Brett, have you? At the gym, maybe?”
At least Carter has the good grace to cast his gaze down at his feet. “Whatever, Andz . Brett’s a lot savvier than people like you give him credit for. While you’re running around ruining what could be a perfectly good game with characters like Dane and a they/them Sentinel, he’s actively looking for ways to make money.”
“I’m what now?” I say, careful to keep my voice even and taut as a wire. “Careful, Carter. You’re so far out of line, you can’t even see it anymore.”
Carter snorts out of the corner of his mouth. When he finally looks up at me, he’s wearing a leer so oily the air feels coated with it. “With all due respect, Andz, you know as soon as players catch wind of what you’re doing with Compass Hollow , they’re going to throw a fit. You’re going to lose us half of Heartrender’s usual fan base.”
In the standoff between us, I notice for the first time how much Carter has changed in recent weeks. His hair is slicked back like Brett’s often is, and he’s wearing a button-down tucked into dark-wash jeans. Even his shoulders look broader, his traps more defined under his shirt.
He’s lying about what he and Brett are up to for Jan. I know that much. Still, what can I do? I’m tired. After everything that’s happened tonight, there’s no fight left within me anymore.
Thinning my lips, I return Carter’s phone to him. “Cc me on whatever you send to Brett and Jan. And feel free to inform them there’s no way we’re getting rid of a they/them Sentinel. No matter how many so-called fans we lose.”
With a nod, I tromp up the half stairs to my office and shut the door behind me.