Chapter 8
EIGHT
The moment Jewel spoke the words, all chaos broke loose. Niko jumped from his chair, and in record time, he was out of the room. Lucas was pretty fast, rushing to catch up with his husband before he could do anything stupid.
Cove, Jewel, Freya, Keith and myself are left in the room, stunned into silence.
There are no words I could say that would make this any better. The disbelief is still large, and I’m too shocked to move. Freya’s the first one that snaps out of the trance, followed by Cove.
Usually, he’s silent. He doesn’t like speaking much, as if he’ll run out of words.
Instead, he picks and chooses when he’s going to be speaking, and what he’s going to say.
Silently, slowly, and with calculations of an experienced predator, Cove stands from his chair.
His footsteps are measured as he approaches me, coming to stand right in front of me.
“Blair, a word in private.”
With a nod, I break the trance, standing up and following him out of the room.
My body feels like it’s not mine. It feels light, like none of this is real.
Like I’m having a very vivid dream, and I’m about to wake up from it at any moment.
But I know better. Even the nightmares don’t hurt me as much as the reality does.
“Yes, Cove?”
“This is too much to take in, I understand,” he steps closer to me, carefully looking around. He’s on the edge, rightfully so, and ensuring no one is going to hear us. If Raven’s the mole, who knows if anyone else is?
“It is,” I nod.
“But Arlo needs you, now more than ever. If anyone’s going to be strong, it has to be you. He won’t be able to get through this on his own. Especially since…”
He pauses, and then looks away for a moment. For a man as passive as Cove, the fact that I can tell there’s pain on his face makes my heart sink to my feet. Something churns in the pit of my stomach, and my skin crawls at the thought of more bad news.
“Especially since, what, Cove?” I repeat his words. “Don’t beat around the bush.”
“While we were watching the camera footage, I got a message.”
“What did it say?”
“Noelle’s state worsened,” he explains. “They’re advising us to say our goodbyes.”
That’s the straw that broke the camel’s back.
My knees give out, and I slump to the floor.
My back’s leant against the cold wall, my entire body shaking.
I make no sounds, yet tears start rolling down my cheeks.
The physical pain, oh God. I’ve never felt anything like this.
Every single inch of my body is aching, every single bone inside of me is hurting, and I can’t move.
My eyes get blurry, and a choked sob slips past my lips.
I manage to bury my face in my hands, crying my soul out.
Fuck, this was not in my plans when I first met Hudson and Noelle.
From the get-go, they accepted me. They didn’t ask any questions, they didn’t pry, and they didn’t judge me.
All they did was offer their full support, waited for me to open up, then welcomed me with open arms. Noelle is the only mother I’ve ever had.
Hudson, the only thing resembling a father.
Someone once said that the two are the very definition of soulmates, that if one dies, the other will follow.
I have no doubt in my mind that the reason Noelle’s state has worsened is because she felt Hudson’s death on a cellular level. They’re connected in ways that will forever be foreign to me, and they seem to have taken their vows literally.
In life, and death.
“Blair, I need you to snap out of it,” it’s Freya’s voice, and when I peer through my fingers, I can barely see her through the foggy, blurry eyes. “If you’re this upset, imagine Aria or Arlo, how they must be feeling. They’ll be consumed by grief, and we need someone to lead us.”
“And you think the best choice for that role is me?” I laugh, the bitter sound making me choke a little.
There’s no humor in my voice, but if I don’t laugh, I’ll break into a million pieces, because I never could’ve anticipated this.
If I had, I never would’ve allowed it. I would’ve ensured I was the one to die instead.
“The best choice? Not by a long shot,” her brutality makes the tears stop abruptly, and I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt.
“But you’re all we have. Arlo trusts you, which means all of us trust you, too.
So, get your head out of your ass and be the boss we need.
You can cry another time. Crying right now won’t help Noelle, and it won’t bring Hudson back.
You’re Arlo’s chosen person, that makes you the only person we can trust now. ”
“All of this is my fault, though.” I choke out.
Freya sighs, then grabs me by my wrists, yanking me back to my feet. “You can blame yourself all you want, it won’t change the fact that we need you right now. Arlo needs you to do this. So, suck it up, get your head back in the game and focus. Or I will slap it out of you.”
“She’s right, you know,” Cove adds. “If anyone can do it Blair, it’s you. Not because we particularly like or trust you, but because Arlo does.”
That’s when it finally hits me. The amount of trust and respect these people put into Arlo is outstanding. They trust him wholeheartedly, and never dare to question any of his decisions. And those decisions include me.
With a sharp intake of breath, I straighten up. Freya’s right. There’s a time and place for everything, and the grief won’t disappear. If I have to force it to the deepest parts of me, I will. For the sake of the only man who ever loved me enough to show me just how worthy of love I am.
All for Arlo.
Everything for Arlo.
“Right,” I nod. “Then, you’re all going to do what I say. Cove, you’re on Raven duty. I don’t care how you go about finding him, just do it. And when you do, you’ll make sure he’s brought here in one piece.”
“Understood. Anything else?”
“Have Keith watch over Amy. If Raven’s the one who set her free the first time, he might try to do it again. Especially if he’s unaware that we know of his involvement.”
“Got it,” Cove nods. “Amy will be monitored twenty-four-seven. I’ll make sure they lower her food and water intake. Not enough to harm her, just to keep her weak.”
“Good, do that, and keep her tied to the bed. Until she’s completely healed, she should not be able to move from the damned bed, and if she does ask, then quite literally chain her, and she can take a walk in the room.
In that case, make sure you have a few people in there.
Don’t forget, just like Arlo, she’s a professional hitman.
She’ll find a way out with any means necessary. ”
“What do you want us to do?”
I glance at Jewel, who’s still very shocked by the entire ordeal, and clearly shaken up. “Jewel should sit this one out.”
That makes her eyes snap to mine. “What?! But—”
“No buts,” I interrupt. “You and Raven were close. You won’t be able to think rationally when you’re emotionally involved. Sit it out.”
Her jaw clenches, her hands fisting by her sides. She doesn’t protest, though, merely nodding and walking off. Freya glances at her wife, but decides against following her. Instead, she stays by my side.
“What do you need from me?” she asks.
“I don’t know just yet,” I sigh. “I’ll figure it out. For now, just be ready for when I inevitably call you.”
“Gotcha.”
Without another word, I pull my phone out, then walk into the corner of the room. My finger scrolls through the contact list, and although there’s not many contacts, there’s a very important one. I don’t hesitate before pressing the call button, then putting the device to my ear.
It only rings twice before she picks up.
“Kaya, I need you to come down here and I need you to come now.”
???
I pace back and forth inside of the small apartment, biting my thumb. My nerves are wrecked, my emotions are all over the place, and it’s been a fucking struggle not to trash and ruin the place. Instead, I cleaned it all up, top to bottom, every nook and cranny, while I waited for Kaya to arrive.
When she does show up, she doesn’t knock, or wait to be let inside.
No, she just opens the door, strolls right inside, and slams it shut.
Her heels are leather, reaching up her knees, and she’s wearing a pure white fur coat that’s almost reaching the floor.
Yet, even with the insane weather outside, there’s not even a speck of dirt on the soft coat.
“I’m here,” she breathes out, taking the coat off and hanging it. “What was so urgent?”
“Hudson is dead.”
She blinks. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me, don’t make me repeat myself,” I finally stop pacing and sit down on the floor. Kaya, for whatever reason, chooses to sit across from me on the floor, instead of opting for the perfectly comfortable couch.
“Fine, then,” she nods, her features turning serious. “Why did you call me here, then? If it’s not for moral support.”
“Paul Simmons has escaped prison, and I need you to find it.”
“You think I can do that?”
I sigh. “Don’t even start with me, Kaya. You and I both know that your resources are way beyond my imagination. If anyone can do it, it’s you. I’d ask Arlo, but we both know he has other things to focus on.”
She smirks. “Of course I can find him. And when I do find him, what do you want me to do with him? I’m assuming you want to be the one to kill him, so not that. Do I break an arm or a leg and deliver him to you, or do you want him completely unharmed?"
Something switches inside of me. I’d say it’s from all the grief, all the pain and ache that’s tearing through my chest, and the insane amount of rage that I cannot let go of. I don’t want to let go of the anger, because it’s what’s keeping me going.
“I want you to capture him, and then, I want you to set him free.”
“Are you fucking bonkers? Why the hell would I do that?”
I roll my eyes. “I didn’t mean let him roam freely. I meant, let him go so I can chase him down like the pig that he is, and then I am going to slaughter him for all the world to see.”
A look of realization dawns on her face, and there’s something in that expression that satisfies me. If anyone’s insane enough to follow through with my plan, it’s Kaya. She’s the only person who’d dare to do something like that for fun.
“Alright, but… that will cost.”
I don’t move a single muscle. “I don’t care what it costs. You want my organs? Harvest them. You want my fucking soul? You got it. You want my head on a stake? Impale it as hard as you’d like. All I need you to do is get the motherfucker.”
A wicked, almost sadistic smirk tugs on the corner of her mouth. A gleam in her eyes is so dark that it chills me to my core, and it’s why they call her the Panther. Her mind is as dark as the night itself, her thoughts as deprived as the impulsivity that leads her.
“No need for anything as drastic,” she chuckles. “But you’ll owe me a favor.”
“Again?” I groan.
“I’m collecting favors like Pokémon,” she shrugs.
“Fine. I’ll owe you two favors.”
“Perfect. I’ll get it done as soon as possible,” she grins. “It will be far from easy Blair. When did he escape?”
“It’s been a couple of hours. It’s all over the news.”
Kaya mulls on the information, biting the inside of her cheek. “He has a good head start. It won’t happen immediately. I’ll find him, absolutely, but it won’t happen tomorrow. Don’t expect immediate results.”
A pang of disappointment flutters in my chest, but it’s the reality. I can’t expect good results in such a short amount of time.
“Alright. Just keep me updated.”
“Will do,” she nods. “Did you need anything else?”
“How is Daisy?”
“She’s doing great,” Kaya responds. “She’s still in my brother’s care while I find a suitable family for her, away from this world.
She’s getting better, too. I’ve put her in therapy with a specialist who’s been working with traumatized children for decades.
The improvement wasn’t immediate, but it’s there. ”
“Oh, that sweet little girl…”
“Yeah,” Kaya sighs, leaning her back against the couch and looking up at the ceiling.
“She doesn’t trust anyone except my brother and nanny.
The nanny, Nadia, was my nanny too, and Aleksei brought her from Russia to be Daisy’s caretaker while he’s working.
Daisy is so intelligent. She’s still practically a baby, yet she’s such a little genius.
She can already multiply numbers in her head. ”
My eyes widen. “Oh, that’s… insane. She’s too young to even know numbers properly.”
“That’s what I said, so Aleksei found her all these kid games that revolve around numbers, and it’s been keeping her entertained. She still has night terrors, though they’re not as frequent as they used to be. She’s still co-sleeping with him, though. She doesn’t like being alone.”
“That’s understandable. She never should’ve gone through the shit that she did.”
“Agreed. But she is getting better, so she’s one less thing you need to worry about, alright?”
I nod, and a soft smile appears on my face.
The thought of that little girl being able to heal from all the terrible experience she’s gone through is making me warm on the inside.
Since she’s so young, she has a shot at a life without being tied down to her demons, and I’m beyond grateful that Kaya took her in.
No matter how big of a monster she may seem, she has Daisy’s best interest at heart, which is all I need.
“Perfect,” I slowly rise from the floor, and Kaya narrows her eyes at me. She’s glancing at me like a predator would, up and down, her scrutinizing gaze making me uneasy.
“You took heroin again didn’t you?”
“How can you tell?”
She shrugs. “I can sense it. You didn’t take enough for it to be seen through your eyes, but just enough to calm you down. Has Arlo learned about this?”
“No!” My response is immediate, and a sense of panic washes over me at the mere thought of Arlo knowing. “Don’t you dare say anything.”
“Oh, don’t worry. Not my circus, not my monkey. But as soon as everything’s done, he will notice, and you’ll need a good excuse.”
“I have no excuses. I’ll just stop.”
Kaya snorts, rolling her eyes. “Right, because getting off heroin is a super easy thing to do. You’ve been using it multiple times a day for weeks now. I’m surprised you’ve managed to keep it a secret this long.”
“It’s the only thing that’s keeping the monsters away, Kaya.”
“One day, sooner or later, you’ll have to face the demons in your head, Blair. Or they will face you, and they will completely take over your life. Pull the plug and do it first, before it’s too late.”