Chapter 10
Visha
I stare at the black screen of my computer, leaning back against the chair.
Ao jumps into my lap, purring as I scratch the back of her head. I adopted my cat not so long after my brother took me away. Technically, it wasn’t me who adopted her because she was a gift from Bellami.
An apology.
It hadn’t eased my anger, nor my sorrow, but in the memory of my dear Aoi, I named her Ao. It was silly and desperate of me to try so damn hard to keep his memory alive through a cat.
I needed something, anything, to keep me grounded and breathing. I was powerless against the situation. I wanted to call him and explain myself, desperately needing to get back home, but was unable to.
If I had known any of what was going to happen, I would have memorized Aoi’s number. No, I never would have left in the first place.
I spent the next eight years thinking about him every fucking second of the day.
I tried to move on, of course, but I just couldn’t.
He bewitched me, body and soul. So, when I turned eighteen, I tried to leave the mansion to find him, but I had no lead, and Bellami wouldn’t help me because he’s an asshole.
I even asked his staff to help me go home, but they all obey my brother, so there was no use in trying to coerce them.
One day, when I started smashing things in my room because I was so lost about my life and how to finally find someone else to love, someone I could reach, Bellami slapped me across the face.
He pulled me aside and said, “What makes you think that by finding him, he’ll still want to see you?
What do you want from him now? In the past, you wanted a family, but what do you want him to be for you now?
If you can’t figure out what you truly want, then let him go.
You can’t try to chain him down with expectations you don’t even know the nature of. Grow up, Visha.”
That was the first and last time he ever raised a hand against me. He altered my vision by knocking some sense into me, and I’ll always be grateful for that. I’ll always begrudge him for taking me from Aoi in the first place, but he kind of redeemed himself.
Just a little bit.
It was so hard to keep myself from jumping on a plane to find Aoi before I was worthy of him. I had to be the best version of myself. I couldn’t be lacking in any way. If I were to be with Aoi, who’s extraordinary, I couldn’t be any less than that for him.
No one during my years in France managed to make my heart shiver the way Aoi did. Neither women nor men had his charm, his kindness, his beauty, and wits.
Ao purrs like the engine of a car, which makes me chuckle as my thoughts drift back to Aoi’s adorable face this morning. The most important part about this whole encounter is definitely the fact that I had sex with Aoi.
Me, little old me, slept with the incredible Aoi Holden.
I must be dreaming because there’s no freaking way in heaven that happened. My second biggest dream came to reality when he kissed me and fucked me. The love of my life took my virginity, and I couldn’t be happier.
Did he like it? What if he didn’t like it and pretended not to know me this morning? But he was definitely enjoying himself! I mean, I was there. He rocked his hips for more and moaned so loudly. I thought I’d cum simply by hearing his voice.
I squeal in my seat and can tell that Ao’s judging me from her comfortable spot in my lap. “Listen, you don’t understand how much this means to me. Aoi is your future daddy, so you’ll have to behave when he comes over.”
She meows in response as I pick her up and shower her with kisses. Ao is now seven years old and still the sweetest baby. She used to be feistier, but eventually, she warmed up to me. Now, no matter how weird I am around her, she barely reacts.
The sudden buzzing of my phone on the desk steals my attention from the cuddly creature in my arms. I lower her onto the ground and pick up my phone.
The report I asked for has been sent to my computer, according to Linda.
I jump to the keyboard and skim through my emails for the files until I finally find them.
“Okay, Visha, calm down. You’ll find everything out about him in a second, but don’t freak the fuck out no matter what you read.”
I exhale, attempting to calm my nerves, but who am I kidding? There’s a hurricane inside me, terrified and apprehensive as fuck to learn how the love of my life has changed over the last years.
Ao stares at me like I’m some madman, but I don’t care because my heartbeat is drumming in my chest. Hundreds of thoughts and questions swarm my head. I’m scared to find things out I’d rather not know of, but I need to figure out what I missed.
I click on the file and start reading its content. Every detail of his life from the past years is engraved on these documents. I bite my lip, rocking it between my teeth and chewing on it like gum.
Wow, Linda is the boss of finding intel on people. Maybe she was a spy in her past life?
Aoi moved back with Jason after his hospitalization. Wait, what? He was hospitalized the day I left. But for him to even consider going to a hospital, it had to have been serious. The document omits the cause, which has to have been Bellami’s doing.
Aoi and his demonic uncle lived together for a year during which he continued working his part-time job, and graduated his Masters with honors. Well, that’s unsurprising coming from one of the most hardworking people I know.
Afterwards, he signed with RTStar for a six-book deal. Holy shit, six at once? He then moved to New York with that demon, but it seems as though he was rarely at home and spent an awful lot of time in hotels.
Wait a damn second.
We’ve been in the same city for five years, and we never bumped into each other?
Is the universe fucking with me?
I slam my palm on the desk, which startles Ao, and I mutter an apology. I can’t stop grinning at how Jason must have been pissed that Aoi always stayed so far away from him.
In your fucking face, bastard.
I resume reading.
Aoi graduated easily and published fifteen global bestsellers over the years. My jaw drops at the next sentence. Aoi’s rolling in money with a global network of fifty million dollars?!
Damn, I knew he had it in him.
He never let me read his work back in the day, but for him to be a multi-millionaire after fifteen books means he’s a literary genius.
I read the next sentence and cuss out loud.
Rachel Smith. His girlfriend. Fuck me. He’s with a woman?
My Aoi is dating this bimbo? Okay, not a bimbo but a very pretty Barbie-type of woman.
Still, what the fuck? There’s no fucking way.
He’s never shown any interest in women, and especially not Barbies like Rachel.
The rest of the file merely informs me about his promiscuity, which must be Bell’s way of trying to turn me away from him. But when two souls are tied like ours, there is no way to break us apart.
My heart is his.
Nothing will change that.
Aoi doesn’t shy away from hooking up with strangers. But not with a single woman. Only with men. I don’t understand. If he’s dating a woman, then why does he only hook up with men?
Whatever. The fucking problem is that he’s dating someone. Who is she? An actress? Why is he with her?
He slept around until he started dating her. After that, he kept a low profile, but he was spotted with a man two days ago. They came out of a gay bar and left together. I don’t know what to think. Aoi’s dating a woman whom he’s cheating on with an unknown man.
Fuck.
Was I just a random fuck, too? A way for him to indulge in his desires without caring about how I might feel?
Where did Linda even find all of this? I can’t believe she could pull out such a detailed and up-to-date sheet of information on Aoi in such a narrow time frame.
This was Bellami. It can only be him. That fucking asshole has been keeping tabs on him for years and had the audacity to hide it from me.
Just wait until I catch you, you piece of shit.
I shake my head and groan loudly. I skim over the report for the pen name under which Aoi writes, because if he’s writing under his real name, there’s no way I haven’t found out yet.
Devon Reid
Aoi is Devon Reid? No fucking way! I read every single one of DR’s books, but it turns out they were Aoi’s all along? That can’t be true. Why does he write under a pen name? Why not show the world how amazing he is without hiding?
Linda sent me his schedule along with the report. Aoi’s currently having a photo shoot in Carter’s studio and will be free the rest of the day to work from home.
A photo shoot? For what? Aoi’s an author, and since he writes under a pen name anyway, why does he need to get his pictures taken?
Wait, is he going to publish a new book under his real name?
I fight a grin.
He’s stepping out of the shadows after lingering in the darkness for so long. I can’t even explain the pride swelling inside me.
All that’s left to do is join his side. We’ve spent too many years apart, and now is the moment to take back what I’ve yearned for my entire life.